This Is Me

Meet me…..a very ordinary girl πŸ™‚ So ordinary that a piece of sand is worth than me… Yes this is me !! People say I am complicated…I say life is complicated and one who starts discovering its realities becomes complicated… I have a rainbow of moods inside me. Sometimes when I am happy…. really happy from inside (although it happens rarely) I talk and talk and laugh and laugh….loud and with my eyes …. and when I am sad….I cry, I scream out loud with a pillow on my face, I hit my hand with a wall sometimes….This is all when I am alone and with people I wear a cover on my face I smile at them laugh with them and sometimes put my head down, remove that mask, cry a little, wipe out my tears and wear that mask again ! I hide things with my smiles….I collect courage at night to face people and I use it at the day time ! People never know what is happening inside me or what I am thinking or feeling….even my eyes look normal even after hours of crying…this is a blessing though πŸ™‚ And…..normally I feel empty from inside…lifeless !! With no particular aim in my life. My parents have never felt proud because of me….even if I try hard….

I love my family My mama daddy and three brothers…. And I always prefer praying for them instead of me…They are my everything after Allah !! Have a special relationship with Allah but don’t want to talk anything about it to people.

I may be complicated and broken, but I am a regular girl with same feelings and emotions. I behave decent In public and people say I am mature but I know I am not…I would never be !! I understand life and pain…I am familiar with the realities of life very much. I have experienced life at the age of 20 very much. Girls at my age are full of small wishes and happiess but I don’t have any left with me.

I have a special theory about Love. Yes love…the most complicated thing ever. I know the core of it….I know the theory of it !!

Yes I am depressed and I would have made you depressed too with all this….:) Sorry for that !!

I am not a good writer but I like writing because I don’t speak too much and can’t express what is inside me by speaking. People ask me why do you speak so little….and I answer because I don’t have words to speak….This is in my nature and I have never tried to change it. I feel more comfortable writing things than speaking.

Enough about me I guess πŸ™‚ You must be hating me already…..

And about this blog…….. As you are familiar with my rainbow mood now I can’t write specifically….So In this blog you will find things on every topic depending on my mood I will write πŸ™‚

Tell me your thoughts after reading about me….Am I really out of the world and mad ?

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25 Comments

  1. bekkysworld

     /  July 1, 2013

    Girl, you are perfectly normal, love your writing too. Please check out my blog, would love to know if I am out of the world and mad

    Reply
    • Thanks sir ! Your words mean alot πŸ™‚ Sure checking your blog out now….

      Reply
      • bekkysworld

         /  July 1, 2013

        Thanks for the follow, although I am actually a woman but no bother

      • oopss I am sorry mam …. My mistake….and Thanks alot for your time and words πŸ™‚

      • bekkysworld

         /  July 1, 2013

        It was my pleasure πŸ™‚

    • I can relate to what you’ve written as I have suffered with depression for almost 40 years yet very few people know I do

      Reply
      • This is a long long time…..I wish you good luck and happiness for the rest of your life πŸ™‚ Thanks for stopping by….xx

  2. Really a pleasure to have stumbled upon you & your awesome blog! πŸ™‚

    Reply
  3. jalal michael sabbagh.http://gravatar.com/jmsabbagh86@gmail.com

     /  July 3, 2013

    Hi Lalarukh 1 ,you are a unique person.you have great and beautiful way of thinking.thank you for following my website.Wishing you all the best.jalal

    Reply
    • Thank you so much jalal for appreciating me …. I needed these words badly πŸ™‚ Wish you all the best too. Keep visiting ….xx

      Reply
  4. Hi, thanks for the follow. And won’t worry, we are all a little mad. Embrace it.

    Reply
  5. You’re not out of the world, or weird, or mad, or whatsoever. You’re unique. You’re special. Keep it up. I know that you’re more than you were thought.:) xx

    Reply
    • That means a lot ! I have never heard appreciation from the people I care about ! These are you people , who read me and appreciate me and I am so thankful to you…can’t even express in words ! Love you xx

      Reply
  6. “I collect courage at night” is a beautiful phrase.

    Reply
  7. I wish you well and I hope you feel better soon, Lalaruck. πŸ™‚
    Thanks for following my blog. πŸ™‚

    Reply

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