“Wishes And Sufferings”



Watching a television show in the morning while eating for starting my fast, I hear some very good discussion between some scholars. It has engaged me into thinking . With the TV remote in my hand, I dive into my past and go far away. The discussion was about wishes and suffering. Its theme was something like this:

Buddhism is a religion indigenous to the Indian subcontinent based on Buddha’s teachings who was an enlightened teacher as known by the men of that time when he was alive. He spend his whole life searching for the root cause for pain and sufferings of human beings. He produced a theory in which he said that the root cause of human suffering is “wishes” . If human can eliminate wishes from his life, He would never feel pain or suffer again. He used to callย attainment of the cessation of all suffering as the sublime state of “Nirvana” .

Hazrat Muhammad (P.B.U.H) who is the last messenger of Islam said something same about this theory. He (P.B.U.H) said us to refrain from bad wishes and adopt the good wishes.

I couldn’t agree more with these thoughts. I have started relating my life with these theories. I am rambling into my elapsed years. A flash back has occupied my mind.

I was a girl full of wishes since my childhood. When I was a small kid, I used to wish for the same house as I read in the story “Hansel and Gretel” . They found a house which was made of chocolate and its doors were of candies and toffees. I used to read that story everyday and then I use to dream for that chocolate house. I wished I would be eating chocolate bars from that house and I would never get caught by the witch living there .

Then when I grew up some more, I use to wish for the “Magic Pencil” , From a TV drama in which there was a kid who had a magic pencil and everything he draw with that pencil, becomes real. I use to see him carefully while drawing and the I use to practice drawing for the things I wanted in my life. Some times, lying down before sleeping I use to make stories in my mind about what will I do when I get the pencil. I enjoyed doing that. Back then I didn’t have a sense whether these wishes can be fulfilled ever or not. I never thought about what will happen if they don’t come true. I just wished and wished and I found fun in doing that.

I smile while these thoughts fill my mind . I love recalling my childhood. Childhood is about innocence and playfulness. It is about joy and freedom. I wonder how innocent children are. Without worrying about the future they know how to live in present and how to cherish every moment they have. They never think about the results, they just wish . They don’t wish about things that could become true but they find wishing pleasant so they wish. Wishing makes them happy and they know how to stay happy. Every one wishes to go back into their childhood for the same reason.

As I stepped out of my childhood towards my teenage, My wishes started changing. I started wishing about some real things. I had a wish of going to every country of the world back then. Then I started wishing some more realistically. I wished I get married to a person with a Government job so that when he gets transferred after some months I could visit many cities of my country. I was scared of living at the same place for a long time . I wished for getting good grades and first position in my class. Then I started wishing for looking cuter than my friends. I started wishing for lovely clothes and shoes.

Then there was a time span I never want to think about. It gives me goosebumps ! I should leave it untouched. It scares me. It is the most embarrassing part of my life I never want to reveal to anyone. I guess we all have some secrets hidden deep down in us which we don’t want to reveal to anyone.

And…..now there is this present time. When My wishes have took a complete new meaning. One of my wish eradicated all my other wishes at a time. That one wish produced complete new set of wishes another time. When I think about my wishes at present, I sometimes find myself stupid enough. I had the strangest wishes ever now. I know some of my wishes can never become true but I still wish for them . I know some of my wishes are the hardest, but I still wish for them. I have got rid of the wishes of “Things” completely. But still I have some extraordinary wishes. Some superstitious wishes. I never tell anyone about my wishes. I know they would judge me. I don’t wish like normal people anymore.

I ask myself. Is getting rid of wishes so easy ? Is it possible to reach to the state of “nirvana” ? If not , what was the logic behind this theory ? Is it really possible to get rid of all the suffering and pain? I don’t know. I want to know the way to do this if it really exist !

I have read, wishes are a part of human nature. It is in human blood that he wishes. How would be life like, without wishes ? I ask to myself.

I can understand the other theory though. Wishes can be distinguished into categories. Good wishes and bad wishes. It is good to wish for good things and bad to wish for bad things. But what is the scale for measuring the goodness and badness of wishes ? I guess that is the scale our religion gives us. We can take help from the teachings of our Religion about how to distinguish our wishes. I like this thought. I am distinguishing my wishes now in my mind. What are the wishes bad for me ? And what are the good ones?

This brings me peace somehow. I have passed a big part of my life in pain and suffering over small things. I knew I was emotional and touchy. I knew I expected a lot. I knew I dream t and wished a lot but I never figured out clearly that all my pain was due to these things. Everyone in this world want to get rid of pain and sufferings. But we have to sacrifice our wishes in return. It is a hard deal to do !

And now when I have figured out, What would be the next step ? Is it possible to get rid of your greatest desires so easily ? Is it that easy ? No…I guess ! Not for me.

But I have the code now. I will try. I will try to wish good all the time. I will try to load my “bad wishes” with the good ones, at least, if I won’t be able to erase them. Trying again and again is the only thing I can do ! Hope of getting rid of my pains is all I have. I once read “Dreams are more real than reality itself, they’re closer to the self” .

I get up as the time for eating is over. Starting my new fast with a new concept in mind, ย I hope I figure out the ways soon !


Leave a comment


  1. eating time is over? still we’ve it. share your wishes

  2. With due respect to Hazrat Muhammad, the Buddha would not have distinguished between ‘good’ and ‘bad’ wishes. To escape suffering all desires – including the desire to escape suffering – must be extinguished.

    The Pali word tanha is more usually translated as ‘cravings’ than ‘wishes’. You can use force of willpower to stop wishing for the chocolate bar, but to stop craving for it requires much more subtle mental discipline.

    • And is it possible to extinguish all desires ? With ‘human nature’ ? I guess not !
      Well said !
      Thanks for the comment !

      • And is it possible to extinguish all desires ?

        The Buddha said it is, but I suspect few Buddhists believe him.

        Most seem concerned with attaining a ‘better’ rebirth so that they can satisfy rather than extinguish desires.

        I wonder if your ‘nature’ could still be ‘human’ if you lacked all attachment and desire.
        Maybe cutting your ties to Self and Other is the only way to become truly ‘human’.

      • Oh Kaaaay !!
        Yes I wonder the same sometimes ! You guessed it right !
        Very well said !
        Thanks for the Informative comments ! ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. It seems to me that focusing on loving everyone erases the wishes and the expectations as one is too busy loving. The first step I think is no judgement of others; does not not mean agreement but always tolerance. Hate makes a soul a black hole. Passion inspires fire of heart and soul. Every day is war of star like light bright light one!

    • Yes Katie you are so right ! The thing you said about loving and concentrating on making others happy is right….I have experienced it ! When you start caring about others more you stop wishing for yourself and start wishing for them…… Thanks for the comment ๐Ÿ™‚ Love xx

  4. ^ “stop craving” here comes your wish as you wish to attain “much more subtle mental discipline” so you may stop craving for things. Ok that a good wish. May God help you with your good wishes.

    • Very well said Haroon ! I agree ๐Ÿ™‚ Thank you so much for the prayers ๐Ÿ™‚ Ameen ! Love xx

      • thanks. and I should say it was a good right up.

      • Oh thanks your comments are encouraging me to write more ! Keep visiting and telling me about my write ups ! I would love to read what you say ๐Ÿ™‚ xx

    • May God help you with your good wishes.

      And may all beings attain Buddhahood :).

      • May all beings attain the right path ๐Ÿ™‚

      • You seems to be totally impressed by Buddha ๐Ÿ˜‰ A good thing though ๐Ÿ™‚
        You should say all beings attain ‘Nirvana ! ”

      • You seems to be totally impressed by Buddha ๐Ÿ˜‰

        I’m easily impressed by stuff I don’t understand ;).

        You should say all beings attain โ€˜Nirvana ! โ€

        You’re right, I probably should.

        “May all beings achieve Buddhahood” is a Mahayana (mostly North Asia) greeting.

        “May all beings achieve enlightenment” or “May all beings achieve Nibbana [Nirvana]” is the Theravadan (mostly South Asia) greeting.

        Theravadan’s don’t use it much though as they’re focused on their own enlightenment, not that of others. Mahayanans believe humans can become Bodhisattva – effectively Buddha’s themselves – and chose to delay their own entry to Nirvana in order to help others.

        May I assist all sentient beings to attain Buddhahood, and may I be the last one to attain Buddhahood ” – the Bodhisattva vow of Avalokiteshvara

        I’m from even further south than Burma and lean more towards Theravadan teaching (which is why I use Pali words like tanha rather than Sanskrit ones like upadana), so I shouldn’t go around telling people to become Buddhas ;).

      • Oh well I couldn’t understand some of the words you used here !
        But I must say you have a vast knowledge with you ! Impressive !
        Okaay so it was a greeting….I didn’t know that ๐Ÿ™‚
        It was so good reading all about how people use to greet each other though ๐Ÿ˜‰
        So you are from where ? Answer if you don’t have a problem telling this ๐Ÿ™‚ I just want to see how you have all the knowledge regarding this stuff !
        Well I get easily impressed by the stuff I don’t understand too lol
        “Tanha” is an a word we use here in urdu too which means lonely ! Is this the same ?
        Lol that is upto you , you can if you want people to become buddhas ๐Ÿ˜€

      • So you are from where ?

        I’m an Australian Aborigine.
        ‘Cabrogal’ is the name of my people, who are from what is now the Liverpool area of Sydney.

        I just want to see how you have all the knowledge regarding this stuff !

        I grew up in 1970s Australia, where pop-Buddhism and pop-Hinduism were quite fashionable. I guess I got stuck on it.

        To my regret, I don’t speak Urdu (sadly, I have to read Urdu poems in translation) so I can’t say whether ‘tanha’ has similar roots in Urdu and Pali. ‘Vijana’ is the closest Pali word I know to ‘lonely’ but its more like ‘abandoned’ or ‘bereft’ really.
        (P.S. Did you know Sanskrit has nearly 100 words for ‘love’? Must be easy to make their love poems rhyme;) ).

        you can if you want people to become buddhas

        What if you think that wishing someone would become a buddha would be an almost sure-fire method of making them too self conscious to ever become one? ๐Ÿ˜‰

      • Oh so the name of your blog depicts your people ! Awesome !
        1970’s ? Oh you are quiet old I guess ๐Ÿ˜‰ Respect ! ๐Ÿ™‚
        You should learn Urdu if you want to extract the true essence out of the Urdu poetry ! I love it !
        Lol okay I didn’t know that ๐Ÿ˜‰ I should try learning Sanskrit from you now to make my poems rhyme better ๐Ÿ˜›

        Lol No I don’t think so ๐Ÿ˜‰
        Thanks for all the great information. Loved reading about all these traditions ๐Ÿ™‚ xx

  5. Nadia

     /  July 25, 2013

    well I read once a book about Buddhism and this whole craving thing, and I think Buddhas teachings are very deep, yet in the case of following Buddhas teaching only few people will b really happy and end their suffering and pain, because like you said it takes too much to stand up against your human nature. there is a modern Buddhism were people are allowed to be married but yet it’s not the real thing.
    I think the difference between Buddhism and Islam is that Buddhism tries to get rid of all this craves you have. and it’s a great thought but yet almost impossible for most people.
    while Islam tries to guide and direct this needs and craves we have into a specific and prearranged space.
    It’s not the craves that always makes us sad but being not able to control them is it
    and here also comes the role of Ramadan. we see how Muslims learn to control them selves by not eating not drinking trying not to say any bad word and all this craves we have.
    but Allah is not telling us to kill our craves entirely cause he has created us with craves wishes and needs but yet wants us to learn to control them.
    Great Post, I love it ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Oh very well said Nadia ! I Love your comment … You said it all right with beautiful words….. yes I was trying to tell the same…Buddha’s teachings were good but impossible for a human being to adapt ! While Islam’s teachings are easily attainable and hence not against the human nature ! You are right about Ramadan …..It is the best Ibaadat according to me It teaches very difficult things very easily….
      You are right…Human’s are created with all the human desires and Allah gave us ways to be on right path !
      Thanks so much for the great comment ๐Ÿ™‚ Love xx

      • Nadia

         /  July 26, 2013

        thank you white pearl … I really liked the post and the discussion…I generally like comparison between different religions it’s always interesting ๐Ÿ™‚

      • Oh Okay ! Thank you ๐Ÿ™‚ I am glad you felt it interesting ๐Ÿ™‚ Love xx

  6. Ain Riz

     /  July 26, 2013

    Wow what a great piece.
    “I smile while these thoughts fill my mind . I love recalling my childhood. Childhood is about innocence and playfulness. It is about joy and freedom.”
    Couldn’t agree more! I love to reminisce and recall that period of my life too. Thought provoking piece

    • Thank you so much Ain for liking my piece ๐Ÿ™‚ Yes everyone loves the period of childhood the most ! Thank you so much It was very nice to hear from you ๐Ÿ™‚ Love xx

  7. Shaka Laka Boom Boom !?

    Great to know that some programmes did cross borders…

    And looking at your comments section, I don’t think you would be in a mood to discuss the core topic any further…

    Or would you? ๐Ÿ˜‰ ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Lol Exactly Shaka laka boom boom ๐Ÿ˜€ I still remember it all ๐Ÿ˜›
      Oh I would Love to hear your thoughts anytime really ! These comments are not from you ! I want to hear from you…..

  8. Don’t stop dreaming…wonderful writing. Be strong! love your work…

  9. i agree with your thinking!!! good wishes.

    and im still in my childhood

    • Thank you so much ! And Glad to know this…..Very few people manage to remain in their childhood ๐Ÿ™‚ Thanks for the visit to my blog . Keep visiting ๐Ÿ™‚ Love xx


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