Abstract Speculation Of A Rainy Day


Today is  Juma-Tul-Wida (The last Friday of Ramadan Kareem).

The dawn was as hot as the rest of the days of Ramadan passed. Everyone was dying of hotness and clouds use to come daily and left without showering. Fasting in this kind of hotness is hard, very hard. But our Lord says He can’t put burden on us more than we can handle.

As I came out in the noon I saw black clouds on the sky and finally it started raining ! Everyone in my family is so happy right now . I can feel their happiness as their faces look like blooming flowers. Why are Fridays always so lucky ? I said to myself. I went into the rain feeling its cold refreshing drops falling all over me. It felt cold and pleasant. I put a chair right in the middle of the open patio of my house, beside green leaves of a tree and lie on it feeling the rain going into my soul through every pore of my body. I relax here with closed eyes feeling the pleasure of getting my heart washed. I see my family happy around me. Laughing, talking, gossiping and joking, beautiful faces . My dad is sitting right beside me. I felt peace. Real peace . No worries, no problems to think about and nothing to get tensed. Peace, serenity, lull and happiness.

After a while my mind has started doing its ‘endeavor‘. It never stops thinking and I get tired of it sometimes. S[specially at long nights when I want to sleep and couldn’t just because of my mind, awake and thinking. I wonder how it stopped just before this moment when everything was feeling so good and refreshing and Life seems so easy and peaceful.

I caught up a thought about my family and then all the news I heard before on Tv and from people started echoing in my brain. I thought at this very moment when I am sitting peacefully here there would be many atrocious things happening in some part of the world. There may be an innocent child dying in some corner of the world by barbarous people. There may be a drone attack and many innocent people may have been killed in it. There may be a suicide bomber exploding himself , taking lives of many innocent people including him. A father may have been killed by a shot from unknown bike riders in some part of my country. There may be a father killing his own family members or a brother killing his own sisters. There may be a girl being killed at some part of world after getting kidnapped.

There would be a mother, a father crying on death of their angelic children. A brother crying on the death of his sister. Small kids crying on the death of their father. There would be pain in many people’s heart right now. There would be fear in many eyes, the fear of future. There would be restlessness, agony, distress, hurt and terror dancing in the eyes of  some modest simple people.

Thinking of this, this rain water don’t seem refreshing to me anymore. I am feeling like I am dipping my feet in the blood of these people. I feel like the blood of these people is falling right now on me and I am drenched in their blood. I took out my hand and tried to feel the rain drops. They were not rain drops anymore…..

We hear about deaths of people and killings of innocent everyday. On the news in Tv , on some radio channel , on internet or through different people we meet. We hear the news , feel some pain in our heart for the moment , say some words about their loss to show we are sad and then start living our normal life again. We don’t even remember what we heard lately . Why ? Is it really a fact that our blood has turned white? ……Or is this the coldness that is spreading all over inside our hearts with time?

But what if we feel the pain in heart…..what can we do ? What can we do to stop these killings. What can we do to ease the pain of people that were attached to the killed ones? What can we do for the innocent kids left behind all alone ? We are so engaged in our own lives. We are becoming doctors and engineers . We are busy in doing our full time jobs. We are busy in taking care of our kids and raising them. Our lives are so busy we can’t even have time for fulfilling our social responsibilities. Then how can we go far away to the place where these things happen , leaving our life and family far behind and try to help them ? Can we sacrifice our lives for their lives ? Are we brave enough ? I am not…

Then what is our responsibility ? Why do I feel so much pain in my heart when I hear these kind of news and I feel my hands tied?  I feel myself obstruct and powerless . Why can’t I do anything for them? I want to stop all this. I want to ease the pain of people getting suffered. I want to be their voice. But why can’t I move , why do i feel my self tied up hard…………What can I do ?

For what reason did our beloved Messenger said

He who among-st you sees something abominable should modify it with the help of his hand; and if he has not strength enough to do that, then he should do it with his tongue; and if he has not strength enough to do even that, then he should (at least abhor it) from his heart; and that is the least of faith.”

We should act upon this . Shouldn’t we ? Then why do we show like we don’t care about other people. Some of us even don’t abhor the evil doings in our hearts. We care only when something like this happens to our own family. Why are we not able to feel the pain of other people ?

I open my eyes and took a glimpse of my family. I stare at each of their faces and I feel my heart would burst out with pain. I couldn’t even think of anything like that happening to them. I can’t think of losing anyone of them. What would be the feelings of the people who had to face this hell on earth ?

Tears have started coming out of my eyes. But I am lucky, it is raining right now. It will hide my tears from the people I love and I care about. Charlie Chaplin was a really funny man, he tried to make everyone laugh with his actions but his quote about rain always make me realize he was not what everyone assumed him. He said it right.

“I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying.”

I close my eyes again and here I lay thinking and in-questing myself…..all these questions sway in my mind and I try to figure out answers of each. Do you know the answers ?

Leave a comment


  1. You write beautifully…

    Easy things first…

    First of all greetings for Juma-Tul-Wida (I didn’t know of this ‘festival’ earlier :P). Any religious or historical significance of the day?

    I am glad that it rained there… They always have a special feeling…
    Monsoons, isn’t it?

    And the questions you asked… (as usual) thought provoking…
    Dimag se itni kasrat mat karwaya karo yaar… 😛 😉
    So let us start with the trick parts, shall we?

    But before answering, let me ask you… (don’t take it otherwise) Have you by any chance read Bhagawad Gita anytime? (Asked as it would make it easier to quote examples from there, Nothing else)

    • Well thank you for praising it 😉
      And thank you for Jumah tul wida 🙂 It is just the last friday of Ramadan and fridays have some special importance in our religion…Plus doing some payers have more value on this Day !
      I don’t think so these are monsoons May be, no idea ! I just know it rained heavily lol and I loved it !
      Lol kya kerun dimag khud hi kasrat kerta rehta hai meray qaboo me naheen ata 😦 😛
      I have not read Gita I just do know it by name and some things mentioned from it in Indian movies….You can quote I will try to understand the quotes….

      • Hmm… I see… So let me put it in another way… (Let the fun begin :P)

        I feel that each one us must have all these thoughts haunting our brains sometime or the other. After all these are the things which help us motivate our goals.

        The thought that makes us fearful before doing anything for these cause is fear of loss – loss of our close ones, loss of relatives, loss of our lives.

        “What if I go and protest and lose our lives.” “They are powerful… Will I be successful in doing what I aim to do”. “Will I be able to eradicate all evil by my own?”

        These are the fears which surround us… Isn’t it?

      • Lol ok let it begin 😛
        Yes you are right I guess everyone do have these thoughts at some point in life…
        Yes yes these including many other fears….The most important our family wont support us to do anything like that….If in case we manage to go out….

      • Oops! its almost 12 AM and I am going to loose my connection… (I hate the college rules)
        Let’s continue it tommorrow 🙂

      • Hate these kind of rules….Thank God we don’t have any rules like this 😉 Okay sure have a good night 🙂 xx

      • As you aptly said, our heart, speech and actions must strive to change the system. I believe each one of us has a responsibility to clean up the lake without fearing of getting dirty. As Ramkrishna Paramhansa said (in bengali) “If you have come to the world, leave a mark on it as you go”

        The point is to realise what how can we help the situation. It would be overly ambitious to think that the problem can be solved single handed by himself or herself. What he can do is realise the best possible way in which he can contribute. A writer may motivate masses. An engineer can render his skills and so on…

        After you decide on how to help the situation, there should be no fear as you really have nothing to loose. There is no use fearing failure as success and failure are not in our hands – We can only try… There should not be a fear of death as death is inevitable (another way to look at it is by the concept of soul, but that requires more elaboration I guess). There should not be fear of being left alone on this path because it is natural for others to fear. But you in your own right need to be fearless to make a change…

        I don’t know if you are familiar with the phrase “Ekla cholo re” (Walk Alone). It is from a bengali song (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yPqdlR_X1Vk); a stanza from which can be translated as

        “Oh you unfortunate one! if your torch does not catch flame… If in a thunderous windy night, you find all doors to be closed… Then you light your own ribs to light your way and walk alone… If there is no one to answer your call, then walk alone…”

      • You are right Arindam, each one of us has a responsibility to clear the mess up….but we lack courage .
        Really Really love the quote yes we were not made to just live our lives for our own selves and die. There should be something good done by us through which people remember us forever !
        You are right…one hand can not eradicate evil all alone…But we should do our part no matter what ! I don’t know the ways to do it, but I know what should be done. Yes a writer motivates but still what are the ways ?
        You are right…there should be no fear but do we have all the courage to make this “should” happen ? I guess not…..we are scared because we have people who look forward to us…..It would be far easy I guess if we don’t have anyone.
        Really beautiful quote…..Yes walking alone is all what is left after all….Walking alone towards the right path is better than walking along the crowd towards the wrong path !
        Love your thoughts Arindam they are big encouragement for me ! Really means a lot ! Thanks 🙂

      • You are right… It is not at all easy… And it is not possible for all of us to let go of the fear… In general attachments are very hard to let go. But in order to leave the ‘mark’ such fearlessness and detachment is required.

        Thanks for the appreciation

      • Yes…..I know people who get over this fear but It needs a lot of courage to leave your own life ! I hope someday we will be able to leave a mark too 🙂

      • Don’t HOPE, Just BELIEVE and I am sure you would be able to… 🙂

      • Okaay 🙂 🙂 I beleive !! 🙂 Thanks 😉

  2. VEry thought-provoking and sadly true. There are a lot of people dying somewhere this moment, but there also are many celebrations or festivals this very moment. Its night here, its day there. And when day there, night here. A child crying, another laughing. A woman weeping, another shopping! Life is a collection of opposites. But what remains same is that every dark cloud has a silver lining.
    What can we do except worrying? Well, perhaps we can pray. We can create awareness in any kind possible. And of course, the best advice has been copied here in the post itself:

    “He who among-st you sees something abominable should modify it with the help of his hand; and if he has not strength enough to do that, then he should do it with his tongue; and if he has not strength enough to do even that, then he should (at least abhor it) from his heart; and that is the least of faith.”

    So there- such things worry those who have got hearts, and you do. Because seeing your family enjoying around and leisurely laying there inhaling the fresh air yourself, you couldn’t help thinking of those in problems. Someone is trapped in a dungeon, (I have Dr. Aafia in my mind..) some girl is pleading for her life, some man begging for pennies so that he doesn’t go home without something for his kids to eat.

    This question will keep burning in me- what can I do to serve them? How can I play my part to eradicate that, and I really pray I could get the answers soon…

    • Yes Maria you are right about the fact that in one moment something good happens too along with the bad things but we are asked to stop the bad by our religion and we don’t try…..We don’t even think it bad in our hearts. We hear the news and don’t even bother to think about it sometimes. Yes this is sad……..:(
      I have got heart or not but I feel pain I can’t do anything for them….
      You are right Maria…I agree….
      The same question burns me inside too….I hope we both get the answers soon 🙂
      Thanks so much for the great heart touching comment 🙂 Means a lot ! Love xx

      • Exactly. We can see it happening but we prefer not paying heed to it. We turn a deaf ear and that is why we have weakened in our cores. I wonder when things will become better and when will WE begin to mend them!
        P.S. I had no idea what I was writing in my previous note. I just didn’t want to stop so I kept on writing.

      • Oh yes I agree with the thought ! And Its alright that happens to me too sometimes 😉 Don’t worry 🙂 Love xx

  3. You and I come from two different worlds. I feel the same things, though. Perhaps… Perhaps there is nothing you can do for those people. You have done one thing, though.

    You have shown your heart. I know that, despite the differences that are maddeningly brought up in my country, the way that your religion is called bad here, and mine is said to be called bad there, I know I can put that aside.

    We have the same heart. The pain and madness that grips our world is not universal. In a way, by writing this, you reached out and touched my soul, and because of it, I can deny things I am told to believe by others.

    I am a christian. You are a muslim. How about we set that aside and just be people?

    Can I be your friend?

    • Thanks for reading my post Arthur ! First of all yes we can’t do anything but still we can do many things. We just need to figure out ways .
      Yes I know there are differences in countries thinking and stuff but The evil happening in any country or for any reason is bad ! You are right….Putting aside the religion and stuff and working for humanity do the best !
      I am glad my writing touched your soul Arthur ! I talk to people of many religions here and I never care people are from which religion…They all are my friends and as dear to me as my Muslim friends here.
      So you do’t need to worry at all that I will judge you on the basis of religion or something. This is never going to happen 🙂
      Feel comfortable here. And yes we are friends. It is an honor for me that you commented here and I really appreciate this 🙂 Thank you so so much 🙂 Love xx

  4. This world is a blend of sorrows and happiness. It is in human nature to overlook the sorrows that they witness, either their own or those of the others. Some might call it denial, others might call it moving on. Only those who’ve lost a loved one know how it feels…

    • You are right Umer ! “Some might call it denial, others might call it moving on” Absolutely my thought….You are right…The ones who suffer from this are the ones who know how their world has turned upside down…We just pass by feeling pain for them. They feel more than pain for the rest of their lives…..Thanks for the comment 🙂 Love your views !

  5. When I was a child we were celebrating Christmas at my grandparents’ home.
    We’re not a religious family so it was the usual secular Western celebration of consumerism augmented by the bringing together of family.

    At one point early in the day I caught the news of an increased wave of US bombings of North Vietnam that had commenced secretly a few weeks earlier. Even at that age I had seen enough newscasts out of Vietnam to know what US bombings meant to the people in and near the target zones.

    That did Christmas for me.
    I started crying and my father reprimanded me for putting a downer on everyone’s Christmas. Everyone else continued celebrating as if nothing had happened. I went and sat in bushland by myself. I had never felt so alienated from my family and community before.

    I often date my activism from that Christmas. I became determined that I had to do something for all the people suffering.

    Measured against the appearance of those around me I cannot say my life has been a happy one. It certainly has more conflict than the majority of my fellow Australians, especially with authorities.

    Do I think all my activism has reduced the net quantity of human suffering or even redistributed it more fairly?
    No. If anything I have increased it by promoting conflict when others would prefer to just maintain the status quo.

    Do I think it has made me a better person by any measure I can think of?
    No. If anything it has made me more conceited and arrogant.

    If I had my life over would I do it differently?
    No. In fact I doubt I would have the choice to.

    Do I have even the slightest clue of a way forward regarding this dilemma?
    No. But at least I can let people like White Pearl know they are not alone.

    To pre-empt Arindam Saha and quote Krishna

    You have the right to toil but not to the fruits of your toil

    Maybe sometimes you just have to do what you have to do, no matter how futile it may be.

    • Summarised a whole lot of valuable gems of knowledge so beautifully… Thanks for the quote. You exactly stole my words :P…

    • Hey ! Your story of childhood touched my heart….I was not really that touchy in my childhood because back then I never thought about things and didn’t know the meanings of happenings around me….. I feel more pain now thinking about them…..May be my heart has gone more soft now…
      So what activism did you do after that ? I really want to know the ways you adapted……
      Your questions and self answers are perfect…..Thanks for letting me know I am not alone….At least I am feeling better now ! There are people out there willing to do anything for others…..I never know it until I started writing !
      The quote is beautiful ! You are right…May be yes we have to do what we have to do…With thinking about the consequences because that is what has to be done through our hands….We are just a way !
      Thanks for the great comment like always Cabrogal ! Means a lot !

      • So what activism did you do after that ?

        Well, there’s been four decades of it so it’s a bit too much to detail here …

        The anti-Vietnam war activism didn’t last long. I’d only gone on one march when Australia pulled out its troops. (How’s THAT for effective. One look at the 11 year old Cabrogal holding up a placard with a picture of a dead Vietnamese child on it and the authorities knew the jig was up 😉 ). There has been more anti-war activism since then though.

        Mostly it’s been about supporting/demanding rights for the marginalised. Racial minorities (especially Aborigines of course – we’ve been the most vilified and discriminated against group in this country since William Dampier landed in western Australian in 1688, including by so called ‘progressive liberals’), religious minorities (mainly Muslims, but I’ve done far too little on that front), refugees, those designated ‘mentally ill’, sex workers, drug addicts …

        There’s also been environmental activism and activism against the abuse of science which has always particularly got my back up. If you promise to keep it secret I will email you my real name and you can Google it with “forensic DNA” to see what I’ve been up to there.

        There’s been activism against sexual assault and domestic violence, mostly trying to build community based alternatives for victims who do not want to go to the police or courts.

        Probably the single biggest area has been criminal justice activism. Supporting the rights of prisoners and those labeled as criminals (as opposed to the criminals in parliaments, company boardrooms and police uniforms who are almost never called that), trying to help ex-prisoners re-enter society, trying to get prisons abolished, trying to expose police and judicial corruption (I’ve had a couple of death threats for that).

        I guess my main passion has been trying to end the culture of impunity in Australia for police and prison officers who kill people while on duty. No cop or screw has ever gone to prison for that in the history of this country. Not one. But I’m pretty burned out from that now. Working with families of the dead as they come to the slow realisation that they will never see justice for their loved one is emotionally devastating.

        Ironically I’m in danger of going to prison sometime over the next 12 months for something I hardly care about. Compulsory voting in Australia.

        I refuse to vote (or pretend to, as many Australians do) because representative democracy is a sham and I don’t recognise the government of the invaders. I won’t go to jail for the refusal. There is a slight chance I will for not paying the fine. The big likelihood is that I will be sent down for contempt of court due to what I will say to any magistrate who dares to fine me.

        I’ll probably get a hard time in jail. I’m not popular with prison authorities.

      • Well I must say You have done some real real good Great jobs and You are not like me….who can just talk and do nothing 😦 I am amazed to hear all this from you ! Really Heartiest Congrats for doing all this…..You are great ! And absolutely I promise I would keep your name secret ….. I promise !
        And Please don’t say you are going to be in prison This is not going to happen ever ok !
        I have the same views about voting here…..But there are no strict laws here on not voting ….
        And you are not going jail…Please don’t say this.

  6. “I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying.”…I know this feeling.

  7. Tayyeba

     /  August 3, 2013

    You write beautifully.
    Very thought provoking… 😦
    P.s that quotes makes me sad. 😦

  8. Tayyeba

     /  August 3, 2013

    You write beautifully.
    Very thought provoking… 😦
    P.s that quote makes me sad. 😦

  9. This is indeed a thought-provoking post. Only yesterday my mother was telling me how upset and helpless she feels when she watches the atrocities which go on around the world. But this is humanity – there is good and evil everywhere and most of the suffering is caused by man/woman’s inhumanity to each other. I think you can feel better about it if you pray for those you cannot directly help and, at the same time, do something practical which relieves suffering in your own community, village, family, or whatever. Volunteering to help the needy brings its own reward to your soul and helps lift feelings of helplessness and/or guilt.

    • Thank you so much Safia for liking my post ! Yes your mom and you are right….I feel the same. I agree we can at least pray for the suffered ones if we can not do anything practical for them and yet prayers often do miracles ! Volunteering is a good option too ! It was pleasure reading your thoughts…..Thanks for saying them to me…Means a lot ! Prayers and wishes 🙂 xx

  10. writing out our soul’s search for answers in this journey is beautiful, creative and much needed during these troubled times we live in. may we be blessed as we continue to find life’s answers. ♥

    • Truly said Sunshine…..and Beautiful ! Yes we just have hope right now for getting answers and for a better future ! Thanks for the comment 🙂 Love you ! xx

  11. It seems clear you have the answers…

    The answers are the way of true will for each human through love compassion…


    and most importantly passion for action way….

    EAch person in this world plays a most important role to attain the way for One…

    The songs ring true as the Universe sings back to us to let us know now know a way for one.

    Actually as far as I can see the greatest religious practices have been through Indians on every continent…

    I AM part American Indian that RED Blood still runs passionately throughout my veins…

    The shirt in the last photos of me on my post are more meaningful than a dam football team..


    they were quite successful when I was a fan….

    for about a decade and a half…

    After that I moved from fan to writer…

    The secret to Passion-action-way is writing instead of fan…

    There are many fans but few writers…

    For those listening in the audience…

    join US

    if you WILL…

    • Yes may be I have the answers I just haven’t sorted them out yet…..Need something…Some ways some paths towards doing something !
      It was a great reading your comment as usual 🙂 You are right about the writing and fan thing !
      Love you ! 🙂

  12. l like to congratulate you for your new and beautiful creativity. ( thank you for liking my recent post.) All the best White…….Jalal

  13. Be Yourself ! All answers come to you, from within you. “And above all, to thine own Self be True, and it must follow, as the night the day, you cannot be false to any man ” Polonius to his son Leartes in Hamlet.

    • Thanks sir for the nice advice ! Yes I guess I have all the answers I just need to sort them out ! Love the quote….. Thanks so much for giving me your time Sir ! Wishes xx

  14. Yeh Sir waali baat chhod please !
    Meantime, since you take the name of Charlie Chaplin, when I read his biography, I recall the writer saying something like, Charlie and his wife Oona, when they were together, the love they shared was so palpable and almost visible, any third person there, could feel the flow of love between them.
    So – believe in yourself, your heart and your love !

    • Okay chor di 🙂 But I respect you with all my heart 🙂
      I really loved reading these lines……Touching !
      Thanks so much for the best wish ever ! I will definitely act upon it, InshAllah !! 🙂

  15. Excellent !! u wrote awesome !! each word forces a person to read more and more 🙂 excellent writing !

  16. you have written so amazingly.Rain is a great blessing and I enjoy it you.That’s awesome that we both are Karachities.But it is sad to hear people dying in our country as well as other parts of the world.

    • Yes it is indeed a great blessing ! I am not from Karachi actually I am from Faisalabad…..And yes you are right…. A true and sad fact which needs to be stopped ! Thanks so much for the comment 🙂 Love you xx


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