Walking Wounded-feet………….


Walking wounded-feet on the sand of life

Soul tired , bearing thorn pricks, of grief

Brain hemorrhage, Heart Attack, A blood vomit, Death

Needed , But, Instead, I get

Darkness, Wrinkled Forehead, Teary Red Stone Eyes

Dragging Life Over spines, Crying Silence, Stabbed Heart

Lifeless , Hollow, Devastated, Bruised , Me !

Is it possible to make heart, a stone ?

To get rid of this burning wound blown ?

Who are the people who suffer pain

Parlous Diseases do they gain

Which let them forget the inner pain

What is the feel of watching blood of own-self

Dripping down of arm while eyes engulf

Do people who drink, forget their suffering ?

These burning eyes, Heavy head, pinching nerves

Is there a cure to decrease their verve ?

What do needles and injections do to hysterical people

Do they ease their panic delirious, distress steeples ?

A pinching voice,  a cry, a scream ruptures my head

Why ? What ? How to stop it ? No………….. questions are led

I presume I have a mental disorder, I am a psycho patient

And I need to stop walking wounded-feet

I need cure, I need medicine, I need medication for my life !!




Leave a comment


  1. Beautiful! It is the shadow that gives definition to all things. Otherwise, we would be blinded in bliss and standing still, without motivation to find anything…better. Depression is a form of meditation. Pearls grow in the dark depths of the ocean, not on suburban sidewalks in sunlight. Finding the edges is the way we find the door. Whirl your charcoal words and show us where you are in the wild world.

    • Your words are like sugar coated realities…… Beautiful you are ! You are right….. Black is the color of reality …. Pearls grow in the dark…. Very beautiful encouragement…..It touched my heart . I am honored…Thank you ! So very much ….I would try hard to show the world where Al I !! Thanks 🙂 Keep encouraging like this always ! Love xx

  2. srfatima1

     /  August 8, 2013

    great work ! I loved how you started it but somehow i\I was hoping it would end with some sort of optimism.

    • I wished the same but It didn’t end on optimism 😦 There are some moments which stop one’s thought process…… Thanks for liking my work ! Love xx 🙂

  3. Uff! Itna dard kahan se laati hai yaar?

    Thodi khusi bhi laya kar… 😉

    Just kidding…

    Ab dhyan se padh…

    The colour of reality is not black… It is white… It is perceived by us on the colour of our glasses. Reality is void and yet full.

    Reality is harsh as well as pleasant. Reality is real as well as fake. Reality is indescribable, inexpressible, formless and immortal.

    In simple terms. The only truth is that reality exists. It takes the form of the observer.

    Understanding this makes us realise that reality is both pain and joy. Depends on how you see it. You cannot separate the two aspects of reality. Nor can you ever remove all pain…

    But the fact of amazement and eternal joy is this multifaceted nature of truth. The amazement is in the way these aspects of reality interplay with each other to create this vivid world…

    Padh liya?… Good…
    Ab jo padha use bhool ja…

    Aur maje se Eid ki Taiyari kar family aur doston ke saath… 😉

    • By ‘reality’ I take it you mean maya?

      Reality itself lacks rupa and guna, though one of your countrymen once told me it appears as blue. For the same reason the skies and the gods are blue – because the eyes are attempting to behold the infinite.

    • I should clarify that I think your words are wise, except that I am very wary of the word ‘reality’.
      A big word.
      Maybe too big for any of us.

      • No… In this case I meant ‘reality’ to be truth… (These are my views; not from any scripture)

        What I meant by it being white is that White seems to be of the same colour as your looking glasses. If I wear a red glass, a white object appears red and so on… Similarly truth seems to be joyous to the jolly and fearful to the feared ones. For a scientist, the scientific laws are the ultimate truth. For a warrior, his country is the truth. For a mother, her child becomes the ultimate truth of life…

        In such a description, the looking glass seems closer to maya. It becomes the container which gives shape to the shapeless truth (or god)

        The description by my countryman seems to be a good analogy. I may be his personal viewpoint of looking at things…

        However As far as the mythological stories are concerned, is it true that they all are blue? Because Krishna is described to be black, Ram is brown, Saraswati is fair, Kali is black, Radha and Sita are black. Shiva is ‘Neelkantha’… so his neck is blue (but due to the poison) and not his body.

      • You are correct about the stories of course, but in contemporary art all the gods you list other than Saraswati and Radha are often portrayed as blue all over.
        I suspect that is what the person I was referring to meant.

        I think your view is insightful and can’t see how it could be ‘wrong’.
        I’m just scared of ‘reality’ (the word that is).

      • The point about the portraits seems to be this… The potrait of Vishnu is drawn very similar to that of Krishna… (most probably because of the sudarshan and the fact that as Krishna announced himself to be god). And the modern day artist find it inappropriate to show a god to be dark complexioned… 😉 so Krishna, Rama and Vishnu are portrayed blue. Kali is definitely portrayed Black… (no problems here as she is associated with many dark characters). I know that Durga and Ganesha are not portrayed blue. Shiva… yes many a times he is shown blue but that make be considered an exaggeration of the Neelkantha version…

      • I know that Kali means black (feminine) but if you type Her name into Google images you’ll see what I mean.

        As with Shiva, I hold Her in very high esteem. She is close in many ways to my personal Ishvari, though if the latter has intrinsic rupa She is yet to reveal it to me.

        I think I know why Ramakrishna was always smiling 😉 .

      • I am shocked… Because in temples I have visited the idols are black… (I have lived in Bengal and Madhya Pradesh)

        Then you may apply the theory of Krishna to Kali too…

        Read one of the poems… Lovely…
        Will read the other later… A bit busy now…

      • Your discussions are always so insightful…..I am happy I have two scholars and philosophers always arguing and making ways for me to learn 😉

      • True! Reality is a big word…
        And don’t claim to know the truth…
        This is just my viewpoint on how I picture it at the moment
        This description might be completely wrong however…

    • A jata hai khud se yaar…….not in my control… Thori c chot lagti hai aur bus 🙂
      Your theory is very impressive ! You may be right White is the color of reality….It is just that how every single person perceives reality and through which means he understands it ! Sometimes small useless things let us dive deep into reality of something…… Yes The fact Remains always true…Reality exists !!
      Reality is pain….. Joy is illusion … For me at least !!
      Perh Lia aur impress b ho gae Ab bhool nae sakti 🙂
      Thanks so much for such a genius theory 😉

      • Nahin Nahin bhoolna zaroori hai…
        Warna theory mein hi dhyaan laga rahega aur zindagi ruk jayegi…
        Example… A millipede has a thousands of legs… Now think… how difficult would it be to co-ordinate all his legs to walk….
        Now think… If the millipede starts thinking about the co-ordination between his legs… Woh toh bechara kabhi chal hi nahin payega… Hai ki nahin?

        So, after learning a theory, it is nessecary to forget it… Don’t worry, the brain would have already absorbed what is to be absorbed…

        Come back to the theory if and when you feel the need 😉 (Wow! this has become a theory in itself 😉 :P)

        “Reality is pain….. Joy is illusion …”
        Iske upar baad mein kabhi lecture doonga… 😛

      • Hahaha lol And I am not a millipide lol Kahan se laatay ho aisi examples 😀
        Lol oki abi Mind ko Eid ki tyari ki teraf turn kerti hun 😛 Theory baab me Yaad kerun gi 😉 Lol yes it is an official theory now !
        I wold love to hear a lecture on this topic…Especially from you ! 🙂
        Thank you ! xx

  4. I think it is the duty of those who walk in light to lift up those who walk in darkness…when I walked in darkness every word of encouragement from a stranger was a gold mine/mind…of light…

    I remember the goodness of that stranger and this is a big part of the passion to life/lift others up…

    My wife’s brother is schizophrenic…however, he understands every insight that I have….

    And while I give my wife and sister headaches he will listen to me for hours bringing me greater and greater insights from his endless wisdom that requires no text book for a high school drop out compared to me with 3 college degrees…

    He knows at least everything I know plus he has lived as a homeless person…

    Everybody that meets him loves him…the clothing of the dark can be the greatest light!

    However, what I have that he does not have is fearlessness and belief in myself…

    I am helping lift him up in that way and working on my wife too…

    Without hope there is less fear…

    When one loves their life and is afraid to lose it there is always fear…

    One can be willing to die for ‘He’ at any moment to lose that fear…

    You’ve heard this story at least once before privately but I will tell it here again because according to medical literature I was the King of Pain for about 5 years…

    The nerve pain in behind my right eye and ear that I had during all waking hours for close to 5 years is the documented worse pain known to mankind…

    It is similar to a cluster headache all the time…

    For 2 years from 2006 to 2008 my adrenal glands were stuck in the on position leading to 35 days of one hour of sleep and absolutely no sleep the last 5 days…

    I was desperate to kill myself to escape the pain but I did not have the strength to do it, and my sister drove me 80 miles an hour daring me to have her kill us both because she did not want to live without a brother…of course my mother and wife love me that much too. I was too loved by my immediate family to die..

    Never the less, I thought about suicide every day for almost 2 years…I rode a bicycle with a metal chain in a basket in the front so I could hang myself from a tree on a road far from my house if the pain was no longer bearable..when I was thinking about doing it on a road called Martin Road my wife told me she had a dream specific to that Martin road where she and her grandmother who passed away were hanging Christmas ornaments on a tree…I never thought about suicide again…my wife’s dream saved my life…

    Shortly after that I started writing on the internet to escape the pain on Thanksgiving day 2010..the legacy of my wife’s dream is close to 6 million words now on servers spread all over the internet…

    There is no way I would believe it unless i saw myself do it…for instance not experiencing the effects of gravity lifting over 500 lbs…before that I would almost faint when I raised my arms up above my head…and could barely walk around my block without passing out…Everything and I do mean everything is possible with HE!!! I have never spoke a miss-truth intentionally on the internet…

    All the pain is gone and quite frankly not to brag but for the truth everything about me has become ‘superman’ even my voice in real life has been described as lightning…

    That is less hard to believe when people see ‘that’ picture…it is to inspire others and that is all, because all my strength comes from having absolutely no ego and being one with HE…There are witnesses to all of it where I live…

    I spend my leisure time with my wife going to places and being nice to people lifting up their spirits…it is a life of bliss after being in the abyss for close to 7 years, overall..

    Anyone can have this all it takes is complete focus and belief in light, but with the absolute necessity of understanding there is NO GOOD OR EVIL IN THIS WORLD ONLY LIGHT AND DARKNESS BOTH OF WHICH ARE REQUIRED FOR THE GREATEST LIGHTS OF LIGHTENING…


    The evidence here is plain that people fear darkness even in your blog that is the brightest white light of blogs anywhere I find…only three comments here and over a hundred when the subject is love which is more appropriately described as light in our jealous emotional love cultures…It is a thousands times more important to love darkness to walk in the light than to stand in the light for a thousand years…

    You won my respect when you respected the animal that lives in everyone with the animal face that you used in your post about the monster that lives inside of all of us…it is the feral spirit of passion life and that is all…

    Only humans assign jealousy and insanity to it…

    The meaning of life is to life/lift the light of all others…including animals, plants, and even a grain of sand…

    For an analogy a young boy who watered a sapling grew into a beautiful tree inspiring romance of a lovely couple creating a savior of the world…

    Every drop of water is life and light…

    Light you I am tired of the word love it means nothing anymore…where I live…for the most part…sooo! I guess from now on! for my private will it is Hey Light love you light!!!

    • I just read your comment word by word and feeling the pain in each word……. I am scared ! And I am touched…..Though I knew your story but reading it here was like experiencing it myself……
      I am impressed by you. You came out of all the pain and hopelessness and you are blessed…. I respect you really I am out of words to share my feelings right now !!
      Your whole life is a sign of bravery and courage for weak people like me !
      Thank you…. Thank you so very much For telling me I did something good……
      Hearing admiration from your mouth feels excellent 🙂
      I can just pray…….. I can just wish you ! And My prayers are always with you !
      Thank you again……….
      Thanks for calling me light it made me smile 🙂

      • You are so welcome so beautiful light…you inspire so many of my words…I think I am finished with 418 now…I invite you to read it fully when you have time as the connection of you to my life in part is what made it possible for me to finish this thing I call 418…


      • Just had a look at it ! The pictures are all lovely and the post is so long 🙂 Read Half of it and will Read Half of it later 🙂 Thanks so much ! Love xx 🙂

  5. This may be the greatest song about LIGHT EVER CREATED!
    I so wish you could hear it, as this song came out when a little spark let me enter the E-World…this was part of what saved me too…it’s amazing…just amazing…is ALL


    Do you ever feel like a plastic bag
    Drifting through the wind, wanting to start again?
    Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin
    Like a house of cards, one blow from caving in?

    Do you ever feel already buried deep six feet under?
    Scream but no one seems to hear a thing
    Do you know that there’s still a chance for you
    ‘Cause there’s a spark in you?

    You just gotta ignite the light and let it shine
    Just own the night like the 4th of July

    ‘Cause, baby, you’re a firework
    Come on, show ’em what you’re worth
    Make ’em go “Oh, oh, oh”
    As you shoot across the sky-y-y

    Baby, you’re a firework
    Come on, let your colours burst
    Make ’em go “Oh, oh, oh”
    You’re gonna leave ’em all in awe, awe, awe

    You don’t have to feel like a wasted space
    You’re original, cannot be replaced
    If you only knew what the future holds
    After a hurricane comes a rainbow

    Maybe you reason why all the doors are closed
    So you could open one that leads you to the perfect road
    Like a lightning bolt, your heart will glow
    And when it’s time you’ll know

    You just gotta ignite the light and let it shine
    Just own the night like the 4th of July

    ‘Cause, baby, you’re a firework
    Come on, show ’em what you’re worth
    Make ’em go “Oh, oh, oh”
    As you shoot across the sky-y-y

    Baby, you’re a firework
    Come on, let your colours burst
    Make ’em go “Oh, oh, oh”
    You’re gonna leave ’em all in awe, awe, awe

    Boom, boom, boom
    Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
    It’s always been inside of you, you, you
    And now it’s time to let it through-ough-ough

    ‘Cause, baby, you’re a firework
    Come on, show ’em what you’re worth
    Make ’em go “Oh, oh, oh”
    As you shoot across the sky-y-y

    Baby, you’re a firework
    Come on, let your colours burst
    Make ’em go “Oh, oh, oh”
    You’re gonna leave ’em all in awe, awe, awe

    Boom, boom, boom
    Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
    Boom, boom, boom
    Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon

    KATY PERRY lyrics are property and copyright of their owners.
    “Firework” lyrics provided for educational purposes and personal use only.

  6. Have you ever written from the darkness before, White Pearl?

    Nietzsche warns that if you look deeply into the abyss the abyss will look deeply into you, but I think we all hold the abyss within us, just as we hold the heavens. To refuse to look at one is to deny the other.

    We walk the earth because we are creatures of light and darkness.
    You can’t escape the darkness any more than Faheed can escape the light.

    Perhaps you have just taken an important step.

    • By darkness you mean ?
      If you mean depression and hopelessness then yes I have written many times…… Each of my poetry is written in the moments I feel hopelessness and dark….though those moments are very short lived !
      The saying of this Man may be correct…….Yes we all hold abyss in ourselves….
      Love your thoughts like always but your are much more mature in philosophy…. Impressive as always 🙂
      Thanks 🙂

  7. White Pearl!
    This post was awesome- and though I can’t really get much understanding of other comments here, I will let this go simple:
    This excretes pain. It screeches. No wonder it is very well-written, but how did you write something as painful?

    “What do needles and injections do to hysterical people

    Do they ease their panic delirious, distress steeples ?

    A pinching voice, a cry, a scream ruptures my head”

    The girl I know is happy, hides miseries behind her smiles and though she might walk wounded barefoot, she can not be this! Anyways, five stars for the poetry and best wishes for always! 🙂 🙂

    • Thanks for Liking my post Maria 🙂
      I write something as painful because at the moment I experienced something as painful…… This pain urge me to express my feelings through words…..
      The girl you know ‘Behaves’ happy ! ‘ Looks’ alive !
      Some secrets are better untold you know….. 🙂
      Thank you so very much for the five stars I will keep them safe with me always 😉
      Love you so much and Best wishes to you too !!
      Eid Mubarik In Advance 😉

  8. Hi Cabrogal! your poetry is extremely important to understand the whole of this as you portray the life/dark/light lightening light of the ‘black goddess’ as is what drives the passions of light sometimes viewed as ALL darkness in some chained modern cultures by the fundamentalists that remain…

    This person from the US called Madonna wears these black and naked dresses more beautifully than any other artist I see in my lifetime… I use this video in my blog out of respect from her great artistic and spiritual talents that flow as one in a most light and dark display of lightening darkness lightening…

    Her great artistry in this black dress draws me toward the life/dark light lightening light more than than any other artistic expression DARK/LIGHT life/like this….LIGHT

    My wife and I did something like this to lure people into light in another hidden blog that is cryptic in name and can only be stumbled upon others by chance…

    White Pearl please let me know if any of what I am doing here is not appropriate for you blog love you light!! and love you darkness that inspire your words here even more!!1!! And mind/mine…



    You only see what your eyes want to see
    How can life be what you want it to be
    You’re frozen
    When your heart’s not open

    You’re so consumed with how much you get
    You waste your time with hate and regret
    You’re broken
    When your heart’s not open


    Mmmmmm, if I could melt your heart
    Mmmmmm, we’d never be apart
    Mmmmmm, give yourself to me
    Mmmmmm, you hold the key

    Now there’s no point in placing the blame
    And you should know I suffer the same
    If I lose you
    My heart will be broken

    Love is a bird, she needs to fly
    Let all the hurt inside of you die
    You’re frozen
    When your heart’s not open

    [chorus, repeat]

    If I could melt your heart

    MADONNA lyrics are property and copyright of their owners.
    “Frozen” lyrics provided for educational purposes and personal use only.

    As an additional note, when I came online in 2010 I used the name Aghogday as an acronym for another ground hog day but it was also a synonym for ‘Aghori’ as I’m sure Saha is familiar with…in fact when I was all Aghogday the Google search engine brought the name Aghogday up in auto-search complete before Aghori and for a while even before agh…

    KATiE MiA is used as an acronym for Kind Autistics Taking in Everything Mindful in Awareness which is the Observers…

    Katie in dictionary means pure and Mia means child not had that is wanted…and Mia is also female version of MIchael as close to God…My human wife is Katrina Mia which means the same thing…

    FredericK is my real first name that means Peaceful Ruler in dictionary and Arthur is my real middle name that means strong in dictionary…

    ! is lightening…

    Where I live now…’Katie Mi’ brings up Katie Mia Aghogday in auto-complete Google search before Kate Middleton…it is the continuing legacy of my wife’s dream and 6 million words on the internet…all leading back to 418 post now….and you words here now too….and all others writing here…too….

    This blog is more special than any one person knows…the observer knows..now…

    By the way, I dreamed of entering a conversation one day at 3:16 and it is a thrill to be the 27th letter after the 26th comment…

    With the new name KATiE MiA FredericK! starting on July 22nd of 2013, after a little over 2 weeks there are already over 130K search results on Google…

    The eight day of the eight month of 2K and Thirteen seems like a very special day, at least for me…NOW@10:53AM my time…at 53 years old…

    • Hi KATiE MiA FredericK,

      I would be lying if I said I fully understand your posts. Mostly I think I get a sense/flavour/colour from them but feel I’ve missed the details.

      But as I say, I don’t think I understand what I believe or write a lot of the time either. The poems seem to come from outside, though they always relate to something personal inside. Sometimes it is something quite dark.

      Opening my heart is something I’m only learning slowly. I’ve lived most of my life through my mind. The Hindus would say I’m an acolyte Jnani but barely a novice Bhakti.

      Like you, I’m on the autism spectrum. A few months ago you could have said I had Asperger’s Syndrome but the new edition of the DSM has abolished that diagnosis and rolled it into ASD. I also am very happy to have bipolar I.

      Thank you for explaining the derivation of your names and going to the trouble of trying to help me understand something of what you have learned. I will return to your message after I have slept to see if I can understand it better.

      BTW, my real first name is Michael and I will be 52 in November.
      Cabrogal is the name of my people, the Darug speaking Aborigines from what is now the Liverpool region of western Sydney.

      • Wow!! that is amazing…you sound genderless like me too…in your words…so nice to hear that you have Asperger’s too…White Pearl probably has it too, but it is not something she could likely be diagnosed with in Pakistan as I was not diagnosed until the age of 48 and would have Asperger’s in the Gillberg criteria still too, even with my language delay until age 4…You have amazing insights…I will always read your blogs…but of course not into much of the social chit chat stuff…HaHA…How wonderful your name is Michael…I always love that name…

      • …you sound genderless like me too…

        Depends on what you mean.

        I don’t identify strongly with my gender or sexuality – if I was a woman or gay I would still be me I think – and I don’t consider very many human attributes to be ‘gendered’ – I don’t think either men or women have greater inclinations towards bravery, sensitivity, logical thinking, devotion, viciousness, jealousy etc.

        On the other hand, I’m definitely a guy. So much so that to say it is tautological. The attributes I have that I believe are gendered are male by definition.

        That’s because I don’t define myself against masculinity, I define masculinity against me.

        I don’t measure ‘manliness’ by reference to my father, sports jocks, ‘alpha males’, sensitive new age guys or what feminists say a man should be. I measure it against myself. I know I’m entirely a man, so if anyone has a gendered attribute that is different to mine it is automatically less manly than mine.

        So while being a ‘man’ doesn’t mean much in my universe, there is no-one in my universe more ‘manly’ than me. Even if I was gay I would probably think the same way.

  9. This will be my last comment for awhile…please bear with me, if you will…

    Last night when I watch “Firework” video it leads me to another video called “Wide Awake” by Katy Perry at about 3AM last night that I never see before….

    In this video there is an ending scene of Katy Perry meeting herself as child walking through the doors/gateway of life/light punching out the human love of boy and walking in the light of ‘He’ in a most Beautiful Garden of Eden….of Light…

    So sorry, you can’t see the video but I will provide lyrics again…

    This morning at 8AM my wife tells me about her dream where she too meets this long haired little girl that is here in a dream from when she was young too, and she knows too that she is one moving toward light..

    She has another dream about everyone seeing our hidden blog and being scared as if terrorist bomb is going of…but instead she sees me with 3 or 4 other people behind large glass wall and computers loving the blog post…resulting in great light instead of bomb as this is the interpretation of the dream with her and I…

    Love you light and darkness will never leave your side nor anyone else regardless of how you see the light and dark I show here…and with you too…

    “Wide Awake”

    I’m wide awake
    I’m wide awake

    I’m wide awake
    Yeah, I was in the dark
    I was falling hard
    With an open heart
    I’m wide awake
    How did I read the stars so wrong?
    I’m wide awake
    And now it’s clear to me
    That everything you see
    Ain’t always what it seems
    I’m wide awake
    Yeah, I was dreaming for so long

    I wish I knew then
    What I know now
    Wouldn’t dive in
    Wouldn’t bow down
    Gravity hurts
    You made it so sweet
    ‘Til I woke up on
    On the concrete

    Falling from cloud nine
    Crashing from the high
    I’m letting go tonight
    Yeah, I’m falling from cloud nine

    I’m wide awake
    Not losing any sleep
    I picked up every piece
    And landed on my feet
    I’m wide awake
    Need nothing to complete myself, no

    I’m wide awake
    Yeah, I am born again
    Out of the lion’s den
    I don’t have to pretend
    And it’s too late
    The story’s over now, the end

    I wish I knew then
    What I know now
    Wouldn’t dive in
    Wouldn’t bow down
    Gravity hurts
    You made it so sweet
    ‘Til I woke up on
    On the concrete

    Falling from cloud nine (it was out of the blue)
    I’m crashing from the high
    I’m letting go tonight (yeah, I’m letting you go)
    I’m falling from cloud nine

    I’m wide awake
    Thunder rumbling
    Castles crumbling
    I’m wide awake
    I am trying to hold on
    I’m wide awake
    God knows that I tried
    Seeing the bright side
    I’m wide awake
    I’m not blind anymore…

    I’m wide awake
    I’m wide awake

    Yeah, I’m falling from cloud nine (it was out of the blue)
    I’m crashing from the high
    You know I’m letting go tonight (yeah, I’m letting you go)
    I’m falling from cloud nine

    I’m wide awake
    I’m wide awake
    I’m wide awake
    I’m wide awake
    I’m wide awake

    KATY PERRY lyrics are property and copyright of their owners.
    “Wide Awake” lyrics provided for educational purposes and personal use only

    • This is beautiful too like the other one ! Love it. I am sure it is worth listening 😉 And Don’t be sorry okay I love your comments 🙂

  10. Powerful imagery. Keep writing!

  11. I am speechless after reading this!

  12. Wonderful write up.I don’t know,it makes me sad after reading this!But you are such an wonderful writer !

  13. Thanks a lot 🙂

  14. No…

    thank you more,,,


    White Pearl
    and everyone

    in the


    To Cabrogal here..

    as I cannot reply up there…

    that is almost exactly what I mean
    and if I did not know you were talking
    about you,,

    you could be
    about me..

    except for a few
    notable incidences
    in my life..

    I experience
    three times in life…

    one time extreme

    one moderate
    @21 and 21..

    In the lowest
    point of the

    @21 and @48..

    ‘I’ view myself
    as an 86 year old woman..

    In effect…

    ‘I’ am my own grandmother..
    identifying completely with her
    while she is alive when I am 21
    @both ages…

    None of the three abyss
    come as a result of loss
    of hope or depression..






    ‘I’ play the role
    of ‘black goddesses’
    in words…
    ‘alpha males’
    in physical life..
    but it is never..
    is just..


    another little ‘secret’ symbol
    I use…
    to get ‘lighter’ messages
    to anyone reading
    the ‘words’…
    without knowing
    what ‘it’ means…

    If that makes…

    ‘It’ ‘is’ not

    ‘It’ can..

    Part of
    the reason
    ‘I’ am
    is so…
    White Pearl…
    ‘some others’..
    will not experience
    the ‘extreme

    No one
    ‘needs’ to

    but me…


    do not






  1. Walking Wounded-feet…………. | John W Tanner
  3. Sixty Nine ONE Ninety Six | KATiE MiA FredericK!

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