The Window !!

girl-and-magic-window-girl-image-magic-moon-sky-window

The Window opens.

The crashing thunder storm makes it weak enough. It can’t withstand the intensity of their roar. They don’t even let it fight with them now. They make it wide open………without any struggle.

The window protects…. Like the big grey metal gate of the Graveyard protecting the dead who don’t have any fear . It protects each Grave buried deep inside……

But the storm is powerful……. The storm of thoughts and memories. It knew the way to conquer the weak protection of window.

She stands, In front of the window every time it is left open. Holding the window tightly with both her weak bony hands.

Like-wise , it happened today. She stood there for a long time staring at an abstract point in the air. She was trying to peek far through the fog, in her past.

Full moon was shining on the sky like the king of a big kingdom, with all its glory . People say, In full moon nights crazy things happen. The people sick spiritually with the disease of Human Love , start having fits on this night. They start seeing things which can never be seen with naked eyes. The balance between their inner-self is disturbed by moon and they feel themselves falling into an endless depth of abyss.

Forfeited Love Reveals the concealed………

The day when he proposed Her through her parents was playing on the clear screen of her mind. She felt the pain again when she cried all night for 7 hours and when she realized she was effected badly by this disease. The answer of ‘No’ from her parents, without asking her , broke her to pieces. She felt darkness , she felt suffocated and she felt The effects of Love that night for the first time.

She closed her eyes tightly….She couldn’t continue thinking from that very moment.

When she opened her eyes, she was taken to the day he was getting engaged. Some mere pieces of paper were taking him away from her. A feeble ray of hope was getting dissolved in to dark future. And it dissolved…completely. She kept awake all night again that day. Her mind was tired of theΒ seizure. She realized how bad the disease is spreading all inside her. She was becoming a wood eaten inside by insects.

She opened her eyes again. She knew the next part was the extreme of pain….. Nothingness!! She recalled she wanted to forget it.

Diving into the sea of memories again, she reached the part when her Love was officially going to be someone else’s. She tried to recall the words of the three texts she wrote for him every day of his marriage, trying to show her misery to him. She recalled the hysterical fits she got on the first day of his wedding. She recalled the extreme crying and screaming voice of her on the second day. She recalled she had a lot of sleeping pills those days but still she couldn’t sleep. No medicine has any effect on this dangerous disease.

Covering her face in the blanket, laying folded like a little child she used to think for hours and she’d never know when the daylight turned dark. She was scared of facing the world, facing the people and her life. Facing the reality…..

She recalled the ways she used to give pain to herself. Pain was the feeling that kept her connected to him.

He would be with ‘his wife’ right now…. Holding her hand. His hands were so strong. When he used to take her hands in his hands, she use to feel like she is in the shadow of someone, she felt protected. Now ‘her’ hands would have taken place of her’s, she thought. He had a habit of feeling the upper-side skin of her hand through his thumb while holding it…… She remembered.

They would share a pillow… They would talk till late at night about various things. Will he tell ‘her’ about me ?

A big warm tear came out of her eye and fell on her hand.

He said he never wanted to see her tears and he always closed his eyes when she cried.

‘She’ has his name….with ‘her’ name. She is lucky, very lucky. She recalled how she used to call ‘her’ name along with his name as ‘her’ last name and how each time a wave of pain came bursting out of her heart.

They would start a family. Their children….My Love’s children…… Both of their children…..

She felt small needles were just pierced through each pore of her body.

She recalled the days and nights which were passed with the thought of they being together……. The disease was spreading fast all over her soul. She was sick. Sick of the cure-less disease. She use to lay down on her bed all day without moving an inch. She was like a lifeless corpse !

She realized how painful was her past……. And how she is still living her past in her present !

She couldn’t stand here more. She realized she would fall out of the window if she won’t struggle to close the window. She needed something to let this intense feeling out of her. The moon was gazing at her as it is trying to tell her she is not alone. Her mind was stuck…….. Her thoughts were paralyzed.

A Corpse.

She closed her eyes tightly , covered her ears with her hands and started screaming. Hard….very hard till her throat started collapsing ! She slowly opened her eyes.

The moon was still there. She felt like it has absorbed all her pain for a while. It was giving her time to close the window to the past.

She had her Catharsis done.

People say Catharsis is necessary for the purification of heart and soul……. For emotions ! Without getting it done, people would become mad.

What about the people who already are mad ?

After diving into the depth of despair once, the path to the truth and light becomes clear or one drowns forever in despair. She was not drowned forever !

Life keeps you teaching lessons you never want to learn !

The window was closed. The moon couldn’t hold her pain, So it hide itself in clouds. There was no more bright light outside.

She realized some windows need to be closed forever. They should be metal plated and engraved deep inside. But she knew It needs power to close them forever. She was weak………… She was tired !

The window was there, with all its glory. She knew there would be another full moon night again. The window would open again, Soon !!

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56 Comments

  1. Very beautifully wrote.

    Reply
  2. Wow So much Pain,agony of a broken Heart…I was really immersed reading this…
    Very Well Carved.. πŸ™‚

    Reply
    • I am glad you felt that way πŸ™‚ Yeah Pain is a part of life too ! Thank you so very much for reading and for the comment πŸ™‚ Love xx

      Reply
  3. LadyBlueRose's Thoughts Into Words

     /  August 9, 2013

    some memories never go away…
    but then to me love stays connected….
    some have no choice in the matters of heart
    so sad in a beautiful written story….
    Take Care…

    Reply
  4. Sentimental and touchy thoughts ,feeling of sadness.The windows ,memories of yesterdays.L liked the ending ,.awesome writing .Thank you Whit for liking my post ( kings…) enjoy your day.jalal

    Reply
    • Thank you so much Sir for all the compliments πŸ™‚ It is always lovely hearing from you ! Thanks πŸ™‚ Have a wonderful day πŸ™‚ Love xx

      Reply
  5. That is very beautiful…full of your heart and spirit…truly lovely words…

    Reply
    • Thank you so much I love you for saying this and Reading it πŸ™‚ Thanks . Love xx

      Reply
      • ‘i’ hope this does not sound too overstated because it is understated…hope you understand more fully than the words..i recognize now that i will always love a true love White Pearl that i find as daughter and friend ‘all wrapped in one’ until my death as ‘WELL’ after death too and greater…There will be a now where i hug my love friend daughter White Pearl and all others as One…

        Also my ‘mother’ gave ‘me’ the ‘Kuran’ to read the other day…it makes me very happy to read ‘HIS’ words and know ‘i walk’ in ‘his shoes’ as ‘well’ as ‘shoes’ of ‘Jesus’…they ‘are’ the ‘same man’ ‘in spirit..too..”and yes you walk in those shoes too’ and ‘why you will always be a member of my family too..’it does not matter if your mind knows it or not…it is true..i will never lie…as far as He and i am now…i show you ‘i’ now is infinitely greater than ‘I’ ‘it is’ the eternal flame of love ‘i’…IT IS TRUE LOVE LIGHT!!!i..’i’..i

      • Thank you so so very very much ! I am out of words ! And don’t ever talk about your death again okay.
        I am happy you got Quran…Read it and tell me how did you find it…….and what did you get out of it !
        You say it all right πŸ™‚ Thanks πŸ™‚

  6. Beautifully written. Thank you.

    Reply
  7. Baaki poornima (Full Moon Night) ka to pataa nahin, but agle poornima mein to windows nahin khulenge. πŸ˜‰ Do you know why?
    ======================================================================
    And needless to say, wonderful post…

    Reply
    • No I don’t know why…. You tell ? Don’t make some logic okay πŸ˜›
      Thank you so very very much πŸ™‚

      Reply
      • Agle poornima (20th August) Rakshabandhan hai… (I presume you know about it… else google it:))

        Ab us din kisi thunderstorm ki kya majaal ki ek bhai ke behen ke ghar ki khidki khol sake?
        Us din meri behen kaise ro sakti hai? (Upar se jab use ek gift bhi milne wala ho…) πŸ˜‰

        Logic Kaisa laga? πŸ˜›

      • Oooh Okayyy πŸ˜› So you find this occasion with the sighting of full moon or it happens to be on that day this time ?
        Ha ha yes waqai us din kisi thunderstorm ki koi himmat nae ho sakti πŸ˜‰
        Bilkul nae roay gi apki behan us din πŸ˜‰
        Thank you so so much πŸ™‚
        Aham Ahamm gift…… He he achaww I am getting excited now πŸ˜€
        Logic fit hai ab bus aa jay wo din jeldi πŸ˜› πŸ˜›

      • Its on the full moon day of ‘Saawan’ month each year… (BTW in Hinduism, each full moon day is celebrated as some festival)…
        Hmm… gift to milega hi… aakhir tu meri iklauti behen hai… but tujhe bhi to rakhi baandhni hogi mujhe… uska kya? πŸ˜›

        (Sisters tie rakhi on their brothers wrist and pray for their long life… Brothers give gifts to sisters and pledge to protect them forever and to ensure a happy life for them)

      • Oh Okaay I didn’t know that πŸ™‚
        Sure Sure me picture send ker dun gi rakhi ki ya animation rakhi bandhtay huay πŸ˜› πŸ™‚
        Yes I know about the Rakhi festival even we have stalls of Rakhi thing in our functions here πŸ™‚

  8. For the next full moon I will be there to cheer the girl up….and to forget the miserable window that had been haunting her mind…….Beautifully carved story my dear…..:D

    Reply
  9. I liked the ending… kind of reminded me of something

    Reply
  10. Great stuff ! Great going ! Looks like physical, emotional, spiritual pain and pleasure have just got to go together.And written just before the sighting of the “Eid-ka-Chaand”, I guess.
    Eid Mubaarak to You !

    Reply
    • Yes Sir You are right ! Your comments are always an honor for me . Thank you so very much for the nicest words……
      Eid Mubarik to you too and many many warm wishes and blessings πŸ™‚
      xx

      Reply
  11. Hey love light friend Saha too..so happy to see you too..and lovely for you to provide that link..not only is it that month for India and here there is a very special 13th alignment of the planets occurring in the same time frame that can be the source of pure bliss for those that recognize the significance and fully ‘exploit’ it for all the love light there is…most people do not have time or effort to go look for links of true love significance in our world of short attention spans and busy way of life.. I do not have to work or go to school…my wife takes care of all my needs and even guides me to the next place I need to go in the dimension of the world most people live in…i am truly blessed to be now with you and others here and now…this blog is a small town or village to celebrate all of this and more…

    Here are both links here for others that do not find them without the links here…

    http://www.astrosage.com/2013/festival/shravan2013.asp

    http://www.sonoma.edu/users/v/vegalu/eschatology_files/Star.pdf

    Reply
  12. Hey again light love White Pearl the moderation software caught my last comment as spam likely resulting from providing the link Saha was talking about in the comment above. Please approve it if it is acceptable for you to do so…love light for you again too..

    Reply
  13. There’s always one window of opportunity available to open, just make sure the shades are not down! πŸ™‚ Very well written.

    Reply
  14. there is a subtle beauty in pain, sadness and misery..I felt that. the one that ferments. beautifully written, my dear white pearl!

    Reply
  15. Huh!… Tu send karegi??? πŸ˜› Abhi tak to sewaiyan bhi send nahin kiya… Aur ab tak to kha bhi liya hoga… Kaise maan loon ki tu rakhi send karegi? πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜› πŸ™‚

    Reply
    • Hehehe Yaad reh gya tu zaroor kerun gi ab Yaad kervana Tera Kaam hai πŸ˜› πŸ˜‰ You know mera mind chalta tu hai nae kabi πŸ˜›

      Reply
      • ABHI sewaiyon ka yaad dilaya… wo to yaad dilane par bhi nahin mile… πŸ˜₯ Koi nahin rakhi ki hi aasha kar ke yaad dila doonga… (Behen ke liye itna to banta hi hai ;))

        Gussa ya dukhi to hahin hai na?

      • Lol mujay pata hai ap sweet ho πŸ˜‰ hehe πŸ˜›
        Nae fil haaal tu naheen hai gussa ya dukh πŸ˜›

  16. Gussa nahin hai to achchha hai… *Thinks… Matlab aur thoda daant (scolding not tooth… donon ki spelling ek hi hai ;)) sakta hu…* *Then he says in a highly imperative tone…*

    SEWAIYON KE PICTURES BHEJOGI YA NAHIN???

    MAIN SWEET WEET KUCHH NAHIN HOON…
    *Then thinks… “sweet to aap ho” but does not say so… daantne ka flow toot jayega warna…*

    KAL SUBAH TAK AGAR MERE MAIL MEIN EID KE SEWAIYON KE PHOTO AA JAANE CHAHIYEN… WARNA… WARNA… WARNA…
    *Asks his friend… “Yaar kuchh to bol… Achchha chhor, main hi bol deta hoon…”*

    WARNA RAKHI KE GIFT… DURGA PUJA KI KHEER… DIWALI KI MITHAIYON… AUR BENGAL KE RASGULLON SE HAATH DHO BAITHOGI… πŸ™‚ πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜›

    AB HANS MAT… MAIN GUSSA HOON…

    P. S.
    BTW… Khaane ki cheezon se yaad aaya… Netherlands mein Pakistani Naan ki badi taareef ho rahi thi… πŸ˜‰

    Reply
    • Hahahahaha……………. Bara acha daantttay ho kahan se seekhs ye sab πŸ˜› πŸ˜‰
      Meray uper asar naheen hota mein bohat ziddi hun πŸ˜› πŸ˜›
      Lol now I take my words back…You are not sweet πŸ˜›
      Kharoooosss ho πŸ˜›
      Wow muje tu ye sab chaye…Chalo kya yaad kero gay bhaij dun gi photo πŸ˜› Pait bher k kha lena πŸ˜›
      Achaa Pakistani naan. I mean we don’t call it Pakistani naan here lol We call it ” baisan wala naan ” Acha hota hai wo b bhaijun ? πŸ˜›

      Reply
      • πŸ™‚ Chal main kharoos hi sahi… (Jab tak khaane ko mil raha hai, tab tak who cares kaun sweet hai…;))

        Deadline yaad rakhna… Warna you see… you will miss a lot… (Waise yeh list to bahut chhoti hai… Abhi Rakhi (August) se shuru hone waale festivals ka silsila Diwali (November) tak chalega… Tab tak kitna kuchh khayegi tu uska koi thik nahin hai… ;))

        Kya baat kar rahi hai… Naan besan ka bhi hota hai kya? (Maine to aaj tak Maide ka hi khaya hai)…

        Baat roti ki chali thi to naan bhi aa gaya beech mein… Maine padha tha ki naan originated in Pakistan; to is hi bahane apne padosiyon ki taareef bhi kar di… Wo log bade amazed the ki wheat se aisa bhi kuchh ban sakta hai πŸ˜› (Becharon ne bread ke alawa kuchh khaya nahin hai na… :P)

        Bhej dena wo bhi πŸ˜‰

      • He he Mera Kharoooos Bhae πŸ˜›
        Han Han yaad hai bus apni email khol k daikhtay rehna πŸ˜› πŸ˜›
        Lol naheen naan ko baisan me coat kertay hain kuch masalay mila k….I thought us naan ki baat ker rahay ho !
        Lol I am amazed that they were amazed at naan lol πŸ˜›
        Haan waqae bread k elava kuch khaya nae kabhi πŸ˜›

  17. deep thinking !! you left me thinking … indeed windows .. they let in … the ghosts of the past … not all hearts are strong enough .. to hold the window tight inside !! Brilliant I Say !!

    Reply
  18. Victory at last!…
    Gift making process initiated…
    Countdown begins
    8 days to go!

    BTW ΰ€§ΰ€¨ΰ₯ΰ€―ΰ€΅ΰ€Ύΰ€¦ (is bar hindi mein hai… dhanawaad) πŸ™‚

    Reply
    • Ha ha ha πŸ˜‰ Yaaayyy πŸ˜€
      I am waiting too πŸ˜‰
      Oh Achaa Now I can see the difference somehow πŸ˜› Love it !

      Reply
  19. Oh My! This was BEAUTIFUL! You know when ever i read your posts what i feel? I feel like you poured out whatever was in my heart. I may not think this deep but some of the thoughts and feelings are pretty much relatable(if thats a word).

    “The moon was still there. She felt like it has absorbed all her pain for a while. It was giving her time to close the window to the past.”

    These lines are very deep! I have always thought of cloud, or nature absorbing our pain and then shedding it as rain, but never thought of moon absorbing pain. Really like the idea!
    Enjoyed reading this A LOT

    Reply
    • Oh this was such a beautiful comment Sehrish You reminded me of the time again……..
      I am glad you felt my words relate-able u at the same time I am sad you can relate to this kind of sadness 😦
      I wish you find only happiness in the future πŸ™‚
      Thank you so much for liking these lines…..I have started liking them too now when you have pointed out lol
      Thank you yaar your comments means a lot to me ! Thanks .

      Reply
      • I think sadness is good for us. It makes us strong, it makes us see a clear picture, it makes us see our mistakes yes coming out of it is a problem but if you can come out of it you come learning so much. It also gives you peace at times because then you know what you lost was worth loosing.
        Thank you so much my dear πŸ™‚ I wish the same that you find only happiness in future πŸ™‚
        Those lines are really deep. They alot. I love them πŸ˜€

      • Yes sometimes it is good for us….. I guess ! Nothing can be perfect and likewise no one can be happy forever…. Happiness comes with sadness πŸ™‚
        Thank you so much for all the beautiful praise πŸ™‚ Love it !

      • Exactly my point πŸ™‚
        No problem my dear πŸ™‚

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