A Thorn……….

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The World is not heaven…. The world is not heaven…… A voice echoed in my ears and tore them apart along with my heart….. This world is not heaven………..

Then why did you show it to me…why did you let me feel it…why did you let me see it…. for some seconds…. for some bits…. why didn’t you kept it hidden from my eyes….

And now that I have seen my heaven why can’t I get it here ? It is very hard for me to see my heaven some steps away from me and I feel impossible to get it….. I stretch both my hands and I run fast but I can’t get there…. I return each time to the point where I started….. why ? because this world is not heaven…..

I got aware of what is meant by heaven and what is meant by living hell that day….. I got aware of the hidden meanings… The meanings about which people say, some things are better unknown !

I am burning in  the fire…. The fire of my wishes…. Wishes which are not about things of this world… wishes which are about having a life….I don’t have any right of ‘living’ ? I was born to live dead ? The fire burns me inside…… I can’t breathe….

Iqbal says us to destroy ‘Me’ …. To destroy the self….. To live for others…. Then where did this fire come from ? He never mentioned it….. What is this then ?

Allah says the pain that takes me close to Him is an exam for me and the pain that takes me away from him is a punishment.

My pain took me closer to Him…. Can sins take people closer to Him ? I am confused.

I once read, Bigger the sin bigger is the gift after you repent. The gift of pain is too much to handle…. But the gift of Him is everything to hold on to…. I can’t decide who am I ?

I don’t know why I am crying from last… I don’t know how many hours and I don’t know how I slept in his feet today…. I don’t know why I feel Him so close to me right now…. I don’t know why I want to quit….quit this world and go to Him…. I don’t know why I am me…..

I feel jealous….I feel jealous of the people who say they are happy and satisfied…. I feel jealous of the people who can talk about Him for hours and then do things opposite to the one they just said….

Do I deserve craving for the only only wish I had ? Yes May be.

I am nothing, With you I am everything……. 30-1-2013

It pricks like a thorn….. It pricks like a thorn………. This world is not heaven… It burns like fire…. It cuts like a knife…. And it pricks like a thorn……

 

 

 

 

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Happy Birth Day My Love !

kiss i love you happy valentines day  comic cartoon ecards 3d gif animation Hearts rise from boy and girl kissing Friendship Hello Valentine animations valentine Royalty Free Clipart

Happy Birth Day My Love !

Purity of a dew drop, Softness of petals of rose

Freshness of flowers and their glamorous glows

Exquisite diamond that is one of its kind

Put them together and our Love will be defined

 

No matter how grievous our lives become

We stayed together in melancholy and glum

Multiplied our happiness, divided our sorrow

Solved our problems though how big they grow

 

The world may have no place , no respect for ‘us’

We hold hands tight for the uniqueness we possess

Love may be pain for us, Life; bitter and vicious

Dreams may be poignant , Wishes; ferocious

 

But don’t worry Love, their would be a time

When we ll laugh and our heart beats ll rhyme

When we ll have a home of our wishes and dream

When we ll be in heaven thanking the Supreme

 

You were the one who taught me to live, love and smile

Held my finger, fought with me, took me close to Allah’s aisle

You gave me the best memories, The best moments to adore

You are the sweetness in my life, the only bliss that grows more

 

The passionate kiss, the warm hug, the fine touch

The intimacy, the security in your arms pleases much

Worth the world’s Finest diamonds and precious pearls

Just remember: you are not guilty for my life’s bad whirls

 

The time we spent, The things we do, the bits we share

Are enough for me to hold on to, about what I do care

I will lay my future life’s foundation on these

As I needed ‘YOU’ in my life , not comfort and ease

 

May you live happy, May all your worries be gone

May you start a new life; with every day, a fresh dawn

I Love you and ll miss you forever, I am just here to say

Wish you a very gratified and joyous BIRTHDAY !!

The Black Rose

Black-Rose

Under the shadows of savage life , deep inside the dark forest.

A black rose possessed its tragic existence.

It was out cast and unwanted despite all its fragrance and radiance , It never fits in the relinquishing blooms.

It was cultivating loneliness in the presence of the whole forest and hence loneliness was out-grown !

It was growing thorns since the beginning as it always knew the one who dares not grasp the thorn should never crave the rose….

No one watered it, It nourished on its own till its ravishing bloom appeared…..It was always taken ‘For Granted’ and it bestowed an ancient confidence.

And one day it started burning but no one had time to grieve over it because they were busy admiring the forest…

All it ever wanted was to reach out and touch the hearts of other roses…. It wanted some Love but it forgot that all great and precious things are always lonely in the forest.

Its eyes were glued on life and they were full of tears…. It bled tears and its petals absorbed them silently…. It never gave a plaintive cry but its silence was deafening !

Slowly with the prolonged grief, the petals became pale. Autumn prevailed over it…in spring !

And then ‘Black’ was gone… All that was left was pinching thorns and pale stems. It followed the quickest path of self-destruction that was to push away all the loved ones, all the wishes.

The descent stripped it bare and left it as it was at its core, It was painful… It was abashed, ruined.

Black was gone… The beauty was gone…. The lustrous shine was turned to painful sighs…

The Black Rose was a part of the forest now !

===========================================

I have been busy these days in final presentation and stuff. I will reply to your comments as soon as I get free. I hope you will not mind and stay with me . Wish me luck. Thanks !

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Under The Spell Of Black Magic….!

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I had been thinking about the magical things I have been hearing these days too often So here I am sharing them with you.

This is a true story from 9 to 10 years ago when I was a little kid and used to sleep in my Mom’s room on a separate small bed. I still remember it because it gives me goose bumps still when I recall it.

It was the time of mid night and everyone was sleeping. Suddenly I woke up and saw a shadow moving towards my Mom’s bed. It sat down beside her on her pillow. I felt scared and I cried “Mom there is someone sitting beside you” . She was so sleepy and without opening her eyes she pulled out her hand and punched that thing on his back with her fist and then slept again. And I was not watching a dream because I heard the sound of punching. That thing, then stood up and started walking towards the door and disappeared ! When I told my mom in the morning she said she remember me crying but there was nothing else she could recall.

I am not sure whether that really happened or I was dreaming. Since my childhood I have heard of so many stories about magic and ghosts and people who tell them claim them to be true.

Another incident happened to my father when I was in college. He went out of station and when he returned at night, his clothes were covered with blood stains. We were all so worried. He then told that he was walking towards the train and he felt like someone has pushed him from the rear and suddenly his clothes were all covered with blood and he fainted. One of the persons near by took him to his shop. He was a Hafiz-e-Quran (People who know Quran by heart) and he told my dad that
the blood is not human blood and he has been attacked by black magic, but he survived. My mom used to tell me that the same thing happened to my dad when I was a little baby. He was sitting in someone’s shop and he was covered in blood within an instant. Than he went to Qaari Saab ( Pious Hafiz-e-Qran) and he told him that he survived the attack because he was reciting Quranic verses at that time.

Despite this, I haven’t seen any type of Magic related thing in my whole life. I have listened to the stories of my friends but since I have not seen them with my eyes I don’t believe in them. I have heard stories how close relatives do magic on people out of jealousy or some other reasons and what effects this magic could have on them.

Magic can be done for giving financial crisis to people, for causing them health problems and diseases, for stopping their minds to work for studies or job, for making a person paralyze, causing heart attack or even death. I wonder how could these people sleep at nights but I have heard those people getting ruined and destructed after-wards. Some stores were related to how some homes can be under the spell of Ghosts and how they irritate people to leave them. They even go inside small kids and scare other family members.

People use different things to make magic work. These things include small written papers, small pieces of clothes, blood, meat or bones of some animal and things like that and these things are buried or hid at some place where no one could see them. And then by discarding these things and reciting proper verses the spell can be broken.

Seems like the typical Horror series or movie story ! It is weird though how we think these serials to be stupid and believe in things happening to the lives of people around us.

People who have seen these things with their own eyes believe in them and people who haven’t seen them, think them to be absurd. Specially the ‘modern’ people. I don’t know about their truth except the things I have seen by myself. But I do believe that ghosts exist and they live in this world like we do. I have also read that there is a third dimension of this world where
these type of things exist and they could sometimes interfere in the lives of humans too due to some unknown reasons. I also have heard that Ghosts have certain limitations and they can not always enter the human world .

I don’t have any kind of proof of any of these assumption to be right or wrong. I am just curious to know the hidden truths of this universe. I love Horror movies and novels too , have read couple of them and I am not scared of ghosts…  Our knowledge and wisdom is limited… God knows how many other creatures are living with us and may be reading this article with me as I am writing it ! 😉

The magic spell culture is increasing in Pakistan among the uneducated and foolish people. I have no idea whether people of other countries have to face it too or not ! Do YOU have any scary story from your own life ?

Grave Is Your Destination…

PakGraves

 

** Urdu lines are taken from a Naat read by Junaid Jamshed.

Duniya k aye musaafir , Manzil teri Qabar hai

Manzil teri qabar hai…

Tay ker raha hai jo tu, do din ka ye safar hai

du din ka ye safar hai…

O traveler of the world, grave is your destination

Grave is your destination…

The one you are travelling, is a two days exploration

Is a two days exploration…

Sitting at the back seat in the car by window side, she settled her head at corner of the window glass. Her eyes were wandering along the trees and the roads…. people of different ages on various vehicles, In a hurry to reach somewhere, to do something…. alone or with their families…. Colorful clothes…. Chatting , smiling faces…… Energetic and glowing children running by the road side…. bright blue clouds…. It was Eid day… Eid which is a second name for happiness……..

Ankhon sa tu nay apni , kitnay janazay dekhay ?

Hathon sa tunay  apnay , dafnay kitnay murday ?

Dafnay Kitnay murday….

Anjam sa tu apnay , kyun itna be khabar hai ?

Kyun Itna Be khabar hai…

With your own eyes, how many funerals have you witnessed ?

With your own hands, How many dead’s have you buried ?

How many dead’s have you buried…

Of your consequence, why are you so ignorant ?

Why are you so ignorant…

She had a bad mood since morning that day… She cried over small things… It was Eid ! She was supposed to be happy but she locked herself in her room and cried her heart out laying down on the floor… She realized her last Eid was the same… It started with tears too…and the third last Eid….and the previous ones… She realized ‘Eid’s ‘ are not made for her…. She realized her ‘Eid’ had not come yet… She realized she had no part in today’s happiness…… Or any happiness at all ?

Why ? Why don’t I have the right to feel happy like normal people ? Why don’t you feel me ? She had questions for Him….. He was not answering !

Then she realized she had been thinking about her past and the future , all her life…every moment of her present , she never had a present. Her present was filled with thoughts of the past or worries of the future. She thought, what If she dies today , this very moment ? What has she done to herself ?

Makhmal main sonay walay, mitti main so rahay hain

shah o gada yaha per , sub ek ho rahay hain

Sab aik ho rahay hain….

Dono hoye barabar ye mout ka asar hay

Ye mout ka asar hai…

The ones who slept in silk, are sleeping now in clay

Kings and servants here, are all getting same…

Are all getting same…

Both got equal, this is the effect of death

This is the effect of death…

Her mom was calling her….She was saying her to get ready…to wear colorful clothes…to be lively…. And she was dead already. She never knew for what parents is this said,  that they can know what is in your heart by looking at your eyes…

She had to be happy for the ones who love her and who can’t see her sad. She had to live in present for some time. She had to get rid of the unending dark loneliness inside her… May be thinking about life is not what should be done. May be death is the ultimate truth to be thought of….She stood up. She had to fake it again.

After all the fear of death follows from the fear of life….

 

 

The Day When Personal Passion Was Sacrificed For The Highest Love

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Hundreds of years ago….. A perfect complete home with a father and a son included. Both of them were filled with the same beautiful Love and compassion that is an essence of human nature since first man was forged into the world.

Father once had a dream, a hallucination, that he is sacrificing his son for Allah. Back in those times, Allah used to communicate with people through definite signs, How felicitous and fortunate they were !

The next night . he again witnessed the very dream. Postulating it to be a true one, as all his former dreams proved out to be true, He conceived from it that Allah demanded a sacrifice from him. In order to accomplish Allah’s command, he sacrificed a herd of camels and disseminated the meat among the poor.

Repeatedly in the following nights he witnessed the same dream and did the same sacrifices. Still, the dream didn’t cease. Then he had second thoughts.

He called his beloved son and elaborated him the story , he said “O my son! I have seen you being sacrificed in a dream; what do you say?”(The Quran: 37:102)

The son, being aware of the fact that his father is a prophet of Allah, replied without any reluctance: “O my father! Do what you are commanded; if God please, you will find me of the patient ones” — (The Quran: 37:102).

The father , the son and his mother…. everyone though being anxious and shaken inside, were delighted and overjoyed over getting a chance to serve Allah. How sacramental they were !

Fatherly tender Love and child’s fond affection was going to be sacrificed for the Greater Divine. On their way to alter, they were distracted and horrified by the Satan but they didn’t let anything come in their way.

At the Altar the son threw himself prostrate before his illustrious father, who blindfolded as he was, lest his parental love should come in the way, applied the knife to his son’s throat. An exemplary conduct of complete submission to the will of Allah; sacrificing his only son in His way! The soul of Abraham within himself was praising the Lord, saying: “My prayer and my sacrifice and my life and my death are all for God, the Lord of the worlds”.

Angels stood metamorphosed, as it were, into lifeless pictures and overcome by extreme anxiety. 

“God is great; God is great; God is great; God is great; There is no Allah, but He. And God is great; All praise for God.”

My words and my wisdom is not enough to pen down the great light and the essence of that very happening….

Abraham was about to cut the throat of his only son. But lo! He heard a voice from Above:

“O Abraham! you have indeed shown the truth of the Vision; thus We reward the doers of good. Surely this is a manifest trial” — (The Quran: 37:104-106).

The Patriarch laid down the knife and there was rejoicing mingled with thanksgiving that God had accepted the Sacrifice. It dawned on him what his Vision really meant – viz., that what God wanted was not the blood of his son but the sacrifice of that highest of love which a father has for his son and vice-versa. It was the sacrifice of personal passion that was acceptable to God and that was done both by the father and the son. The father and son fell down in prayer praising their Lord.

From that day, to commemorate this outstanding act of sacrifice (qurbani) by Prophet Abraham, people sacrifice a lamb, goat, ram or any other animal on Eid-ul-Adha and give the meat to friends, neighbors, relatives and the needy. Eid is celebrated with a great zeal and enthusiasm by the Muslims all over the world.

In-spite of judging the intentions of other people behind the sacrifice, Can’t we just do our part honestly ?

I wish all My brothers and sisters a very Happy Eid Mubarik ! People who are away for Hajj , a very warm Congratulations to them too ! 

Eat lots of meat (only your part 😉 ), get fat and remember me in your prayers 🙂

 

 

You Say Equal Rights, I Say Equal Respect !

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” Gender Equity is a thought-provoking direction”

“Men and women should have equal rights”

“They are same”

These were the slogans of one the protest happening in Pakistan with lots of women of every age with modern clothes and expensive make-up on their face shouting their mouths out under hot sun with sun-blocks on their skin !

These are the same women who go to their homes full of servants and sit in air conditioned rooms and insult their female servants and maids. Who don’t even move themselves to get a glass of water and who say a word out of their mouth and their husbands have to follow it. Then the same women brag about what social work they are doing by protesting for Equal right for men and women. Yes they can say that because they see the same thing in their own homes…. Both of them, wife and husband have pockets full of money and both of them work in hugs offices to earn this money !

They say , ” If you can’t cook , get out of kitchen ! “

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But the women working at homes and Growing their children and men working hard from dawn to dusk for their children and raising their family can ask for equal rights and equality ?

I am against the concept of equal rights and equality for men and women. Men and women can never be equal. Both have their own strengths and both have their own weaknesses. No one can take place of the other and both with all their different unique capabilities are necessary to run the society  successfully. Then how come we ask for equal rights ?

If we talk about Islam, Women were treated as inferior creatures before Hazrat Muhammad (PBUH) that they were buried alive . After Him , they were given many rights in society regarding property and other but they were never called as equal to men. They were given greater respect then men but at the same time it was said that they can never take place of men. Men are born to earn and run the family and women have to stay inside to raise their families. They can go out too to earn but under certain restrictions and boundaries. Both of them are born with different natures. I can’t say men should be preferred on women neither am I saying men are superior to women. Both are at an equal place but with their own unique capabilities.  Women will create more imbalance in the society if they would try to do the work men are made for doing. That is why a women ruler is said to be always destructive because Ruling is a characteristic of men.

Nowhere in Quran Allah said that Man is superior to woman. Instead He said

“We created you from a male and female, made you into nations and tribes, so that you may come to know one another. Truly the most honored of you in God’s sight is the greatest of you in piety “ 49:13

Women have their own rights to life, to learn, own and dispose of property, choose a husband, right as a wife, standard of living, right to be treated equally, right to divorce, right to inherit and right to a final will. Men have their own rights.

I am on the side of demanding equal respect for both men and women but when it comes to feminism and equal rights for men and women, I am Sorry I deny it !

 

 

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nam-nu-binh-quyen

Happy Post # 1

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Wandering Eyes and never ending sleepless nights

Headaches ! Restlessness and Severe Hunger at its height

Mind full of questions to inquire about the Mortal life

Blocked brains and frightening Horror filled in eyes

Though enjoyed the time, had fun being a rover

But still, Thank God ! My exams Period is Over  😉

 

Yes ! I just took (most probably) the last exams of my life. Final presentation is still ahead but unofficially I am retired from studies. Back to home now , with all my luggage . Took a day to clear out the cupboards and draws of my room to make it worth-living again… And my “Cooking 101” and “How to manage Home 101″ Courses have been started by my Mom. Four more months to go !I am having a flu these days with a blocked head and flowing nose 😛 *Sneeze* But still, things are better !

I wanted to clear out some things to my dearest readers before replying to their comments on my previous post. First of all, I apologize for being so late in writing and replying to you, as you know I was hell busy ! I read your comments time to time but never got a chance to reply to them.

Secondly, I wanted to clear out the ‘Sad and Always Crying” Image of me, you guys have in your minds. Some months back, when I made this blog , I had a sole purpose of pouring out all the feelings storming inside me because I didn’t have anyone to talk to. I did the same, but I never had the idea that I would make so many friends here and would feel like having a ‘virtual’ family. I love all my family members now . Anyway, so when I wrote sad and teary every time when I got sad, I guess people made a concept in their mind that I always remain that heartbroken and pessimistic.

I want to tell you guys, I am a (Its hard to say myself normal for me , so I would skip that) person like other persons of the world who sometimes suffer from depression and is extra sensitive to things I observe but that doesn’t make me an “always sad” person. I don’t have anyone to talk to and I love sharing my feelings with this blog. I can never wear a mask and pretend on this blog at-least. Yes, I , most of the time come to this blog when I am feeling worse. And I crave less to share happiness than to share my pain , but that’s not my fault.

You want me to write happy ? Ok I will. But then I won’t be honest. I would feel like I am connecting with you people the same way I connect myself , or to be precise pretend myself to be with other people in my life.

I can’t say I am sad, nor can I say I am happy ! I feel what I feel… Have sometimes a whole happy day, sometimes a whole day crying and sometimes a “crying at times, and smiling at others” day.  I am Thankful to God for everything , I stay happy and I laugh too ! Its just that I share more when I cry.I AM like that….. I feel hard to change myself. So I would leave the decision to you guys….What do you want me to write ?

Love you all…. Thanks for staying with me always and remembering me. I Love You ! *Sneeze*

Cuz Her Eyes Started To Bleed….

Behind_bleeding_eyes_by_Dahlia_Ruin

She woke up in the middle of night….. Some familiar whispers , sighs and screams couldn’t let her sleep.

She was tired of the intense pain exploding her heart out. She could feel it flowing through her blood like fragments of glass with sharp edges.

Glass…. In the form of mirror has the ability to show outer beauty but it can kill when broken, Like a heart……

Same in their characteristics yet so different . One is living and other is non-living. Both cause death.

She stood beside the mirror. The fine glass was shining and its lustrous shine was making her vision dim.

She looked at her reflection….her face was beautiful. But she never use to get impressed of the outer beauty. She knew looks are decisive.

She had this weird art….. a capability of knowing the real ‘inside’ of a person by judging him from outside. She was tired of this ability.

It never let her make real true friends with anyone. It never let her believe in ‘noodle-talks’ of people. It never let her trust in what people pretend. She was tired of knowing ‘everything’ about people……..

Those whispers were getting louder….. They were triggering her nerves and it was painful.

Those loud screeches and howls…….The dark night….. The voices……. She put both her hands on her ears but the sounds didn’t stop.

She could feel her nerves bursting out of her body. There were shadows of people all around her. Black shadows…..in the dark.

Suddenly a small drop of blood came out of her left eye and started dripping out on her neck through her cheek.

She was scared….Her eyes were wide open . She touched the blood drop slightly to see as if it is real or an illusion. Her fingers got colored.

A second after this, a blood drop came out of her other eye followed by many blood drops from both eyes.

She started screaming…. Out loud. Her eyes were bleeding and she couldn’t do anything else but screaming and shouting for help.

No one came. Because they were people. People never come. They are selfish.

She fell on the floor holding her face in her hands. Her beautiful face was all covered in blood. The whispers got louder and clearer. She could hear them now clearly. She could see her soul exiting through her eyes.

In the morning……

People came….. they found a girl laying on the floor with no eyes on her face . There were empty holes covered with clotted blood.  She looked terrible. There was a pool of blood all around her body and she was laying in it. Her body was empty . As it used to be when she was alive. The only difference was , it had no blood.

She died because secrets were revealed to her. She got cursed.

She got cursed by the jealousy of people. She got cursed by the hatred of people. She got cursed by the arrogance, rudeness and dishonesty  of people. She got cursed by the black hearts of people. She got cursed by ‘People’ and she died…….A scary death.

People never changed. Life went on. And a girl like her use to die everyday till now…..

“Tu Jaan le Bandaya Auqaat teri

Tu mitti vich mil jaana hai”

Man, you should know your value. You have to die and be mud. “

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