December…. A symbol of sadness and pain, quiet and peace, calmness and reticence. A symbol of unearned Love, unwanted desires and unanswered prayers. Mournful feelings of melancholy and gloom are embedded in its essence. Chilled winds full of woes an abyss….
Friedrich Nietzsche says
“When you stare into the abyss, it stares back at you”
December…. was never like this for me. I read thousands of quotes describing about its sad essence and many people discussing about its sorrowful qualities but I never believed them. It was like other months of the year for me until now….
When In the center of snow , I stand
See white snow falling on the dry land
When chilling winds give me shiver
Sadness prevailed, Tears do wither
I see myself lost in the winds and snow
And here I stand, with agony and woe
Both my best friends yet worst enemies
And here I stand, invisible and vanished
Like shadows vanishing with nights
Cold that makes our inside, cold !
Blood freezes inside veins, Lifeless heart
Pumps it hard but never succeeds
And I am left with the effortless efforts and
unanswered questions, question marks
When every way I see is not for me
And I want to move, without ways , in abyss
White Darkness; The only thing I see
Rays of hope fainted , I am abandoned
In the horrifying cage of December…..
Empty handed I stand, Lifeless I grow
A soul-less statue I form, lost in the glow
Of December, The month of gloom and abyss…..
O December….
“He had been walking for a long time, ever since dark in fact, and dark falls soon in December.”
(“The Old House In Vauxhall Walk”)
Food, People, Love And Stufff...!! 
katiemiafrederick
/ December 12, 2013Well..i had two Decembers like this..one at 19 and one at 20 and then another in the Spring of 21…
But compared to the five years with no soul everyday was one long December of black hole sun…
But YES..THE SUN ALWAYS COMES BACK…1!
EVen if a day..a moment of death of tear for someone else..or even like me for only one night for a tear when a dear cat died..in April…
But then there was May..and a faint glimpse of light..and then June..and an incredible flow of creativity..and then there was the coming back from complete death..that you my dear..are the final spark for that ignited this huge fire now that is my soul.. and is lighting up everywhere i go…
IN july..the 22nd.. it IS still documented here on yOUR blog…
Well..we tRuly are ALL connected even when our souls are cold..and the light of fire i have now..will somehow spark yours back 2..i
ll figure it out..somehow..as i kNow that what Muhmmad says about moving Mountains..is more than true..as even LOVE can save a Planet or more….
But you are a Star my dear..so the lifting is a little more of a challenge..
Buy i never give up..to light any fire..now..as i too..am finally Star2….
But Love is the only word i ever need to hear..my friend..
And you are love..enough for a forever friend….
White Pearl
/ December 13, 2013It was amazing reading about your December and your whole story …. And Once again I am hankful to you for all the appreciation and lifting my morale with your words…. Thank you for everything ! Love you.
katiemiafrederick
/ December 13, 2013!:)X
Rexie
/ December 13, 2013You are a very kind man katiemiafrederick. I like the fact that you care for Rukh so much. God bless your heart.
katiemiafrederick
/ December 14, 2013Thanks..that’s kind of you to say that…:)
rjl2727
/ December 12, 2013i think december is a very sad and painful month, and sometimes it seems like it is always december. the one, and perhaps bright spot in the middle of this gloom – you are still writing!! peace sister
White Pearl
/ December 13, 2013Yes December is like this and you are right, for some , all year is like December ! Yes I am writing again 🙂 I hope you ll still be with me. Love brother xx
rjl2727
/ December 13, 2013i will always be with you sister. i know how you feel, but also know writing is our salvation in our pain. i am always for you.
mysticalsilentsoul
/ December 12, 2013Beautiful as always…December with me is just the same 😀
White Pearl
/ December 13, 2013Ah So In Maldives December is like this too ? Glad to see you here btw 🙂 Hope everything at your side is going fine.
mysticalsilentsoul
/ December 13, 2013Of course I make things fine! 😀
White Pearl
/ December 13, 2013Good to know 🙂
Rexie
/ December 13, 2013Feeling better Rukh? Hopefully, you are 🙂 You are lucky to have so many warm people around you. And your best friend Allah is there too who is always watching out. Stay confident.
White Pearl
/ December 13, 2013Hey ! First of all I am so sorry for not replying to your email I am feeling so bad right now for this 😦 I read it but never got a chance to replied to it….though I felt so overwhelmed by it. I was in a bad condition please accept my apologies. And I love you for caring for me that much.
I have no words to thank you.
And no not feeling so good still…. Hope it gets better !
Yes I am lucky to have you 🙂 You are such a nice person.
My best friend is angry with me too 😦
Please stay with me….I need you. Lots of love and thanks and hugs 🙂
Rexie
/ December 13, 2013Rukh, first of all promise me that you will not feel bad for not replying. I was not expecting you to reply to me as much as I was expecting you to feel better. You can trust on me to understand that certain times people, owing to their overwhelming sadness or their inexplicable desperations, tend not to communicate though in their heart they mean nothing like that. That is alright.
Second, because I am so far away from you with no contact except for email, my help as a friend shall always remain limited. I wish I could do more.
Third, you are embarrassing me by saying so many good things about me. I guess it is because you are kind human being yourself that you cannot help but think good of others. Now cheer up and send me a smile and that will make me happy. Ok, you want to apologise for not replying? Smile then and I will accept your apologies.
White Pearl
/ December 16, 2013You are so nice and I am feeling embarrassed now. Thanks for understanding that much….. I Love You ! You are right….whenever I sat to write my mind became blank and I couldn’t write a word….
You are doing so much still being far away and I can’t thank you for that ever.
🙂 A smile just for you ….. You are the sweetest thing ever occurred to me ! Love you Hugs ! Hope you have accepted my apologies now 🙂
Ali Sohani
/ December 13, 2013Welcome back Miss Pearl!
Dare you not to get lost on us again! :p
It’s December,
It has already lot to remember…
and lot to retain!….
There’s no space here for pain. 🙂
White Pearl
/ December 16, 2013Lol I dare doing it now very often…. I am scared of this place now as people have started judging me on the basis of my writings….I never wanted that.
Yes It’s December…..And for me it is second name for pain. Thank you for your response Ali 🙂
Tayyeba
/ December 14, 2013This is fab. (y)
Glad, you are back.
Everyone’s writing about December, I should too. 😦
White Pearl
/ December 15, 2013Thank you 😉 I had no idea of writing about it until ‘things’ happened to me 🙂 You should write too I would love to read it !
Tayyeba
/ December 15, 2013I am on a writers’ block, since forever. 😦
White Pearl
/ December 16, 2013Awwwhh Come out of it please !
Tayyeba
/ December 16, 2013Trying. 😦
White Pearl
/ December 16, 2013Keep trying…. You know you write awesome hena ? 😉 Likhnay betho you ll come up with something InshAllah.
Tayyeba
/ December 16, 2013Nae, kahan. 😦
I shall try. And InshaAllah.
Tayyeba
/ December 16, 2013*I have been o.o
randomlyabstract
/ December 16, 2013“When you stare into the abyss, it stares back at you”
Loved the post, the image, the poetry. But I think I don’t love December anymore..
White Pearl
/ December 16, 2013Thankyou Maria ! Glad you liked it 🙂 I don’t love it either….Hate it to bits.
Habiba Younis
/ December 25, 2013I always liked winter over summer, so yes dec is sure one nice month of mine. There is nothing like the soothing warmth of hot cardamom tea or coffee with the cold seeping in you from around. though Nov is my fav month, but yes dec is undeniably serene, peaceful and quite as if nature itself is lost in pensive thoughts. I’m glad someone else enjoys it too lol, it always bothers me when people complain of cold all the time discounting the winter hues which are just so mystic and bewitching for me atleast. oh and btw i LOVE the picture you set in the post, just made it my laptop desktop background 🙂