O December…


December…. A symbol of sadness and pain, quiet and peace, calmness and reticence. A symbol of unearned Love, unwanted desires and unanswered prayers. Mournful feelings of melancholy and gloom are embedded in its essence. Chilled winds full of woes an abyss….

Friedrich Nietzsche says

“When you stare into the abyss, it stares back at you”

December…. was never like this for me. I read thousands of quotes describing about its sad essence and many people discussing about its sorrowful qualities but I never believed them. It was like other months of the year for me until now….

When In the center of snow , I stand

See white snow  falling on the dry land

When chilling winds give me shiver

Sadness prevailed, Tears do wither

I see myself lost in the winds and snow

And here I stand, with agony and woe

Both my best friends yet worst enemies

And here I stand, invisible and vanished

Like shadows vanishing with nights

Cold that makes our inside, cold !

Blood freezes inside veins, Lifeless heart

Pumps it hard but never succeeds

And I am left with the effortless efforts and

unanswered questions, question marks

When every way I see is not for me

And I want to move, without ways , in abyss

White Darkness; The only thing I see

Rays of hope fainted , I am abandoned

In the horrifying cage of December…..

Empty handed I stand, Lifeless I grow

A soul-less statue I form, lost in the glow

Of December, The month of gloom and abyss…..

O December….

“He had been walking for a long time, ever since dark in fact, and dark falls soon in December.”

(“The Old House In Vauxhall Walk”)










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  1. Well..i had two Decembers like this..one at 19 and one at 20 and then another in the Spring of 21…

    But compared to the five years with no soul everyday was one long December of black hole sun…


    EVen if a day..a moment of death of tear for someone else..or even like me for only one night for a tear when a dear cat died..in April…

    But then there was May..and a faint glimpse of light..and then June..and an incredible flow of creativity..and then there was the coming back from complete death..that you my dear..are the final spark for that ignited this huge fire now that is my soul.. and is lighting up everywhere i go…

    IN july..the 22nd.. it IS still documented here on yOUR blog…

    Well..we tRuly are ALL connected even when our souls are cold..and the light of fire i have now..will somehow spark yours back 2..i
    ll figure it out..somehow..as i kNow that what Muhmmad says about moving Mountains..is more than true..as even LOVE can save a Planet or more….

    But you are a Star my dear..so the lifting is a little more of a challenge..

    Buy i never give up..to light any fire..now..as i too..am finally Star2….

    But Love is the only word i ever need to hear..my friend..

    And you are love..enough for a forever friend….

  2. rjl2727

     /  December 12, 2013

    i think december is a very sad and painful month, and sometimes it seems like it is always december. the one, and perhaps bright spot in the middle of this gloom – you are still writing!! peace sister

    • Yes December is like this and you are right, for some , all year is like December ! Yes I am writing again 🙂 I hope you ll still be with me. Love brother xx

      • rjl2727

         /  December 13, 2013

        i will always be with you sister. i know how you feel, but also know writing is our salvation in our pain. i am always for you.

  3. Beautiful as always…December with me is just the same 😀

  4. Rexie

     /  December 13, 2013

    Feeling better Rukh? Hopefully, you are 🙂 You are lucky to have so many warm people around you. And your best friend Allah is there too who is always watching out. Stay confident.

    • Hey ! First of all I am so sorry for not replying to your email I am feeling so bad right now for this 😦 I read it but never got a chance to replied to it….though I felt so overwhelmed by it. I was in a bad condition please accept my apologies. And I love you for caring for me that much.
      I have no words to thank you.
      And no not feeling so good still…. Hope it gets better !
      Yes I am lucky to have you 🙂 You are such a nice person.
      My best friend is angry with me too 😦
      Please stay with me….I need you. Lots of love and thanks and hugs 🙂

      • Rexie

         /  December 13, 2013

        Rukh, first of all promise me that you will not feel bad for not replying. I was not expecting you to reply to me as much as I was expecting you to feel better. You can trust on me to understand that certain times people, owing to their overwhelming sadness or their inexplicable desperations, tend not to communicate though in their heart they mean nothing like that. That is alright.

        Second, because I am so far away from you with no contact except for email, my help as a friend shall always remain limited. I wish I could do more.

        Third, you are embarrassing me by saying so many good things about me. I guess it is because you are kind human being yourself that you cannot help but think good of others. Now cheer up and send me a smile and that will make me happy. Ok, you want to apologise for not replying? Smile then and I will accept your apologies.

      • You are so nice and I am feeling embarrassed now. Thanks for understanding that much….. I Love You ! You are right….whenever I sat to write my mind became blank and I couldn’t write a word….
        You are doing so much still being far away and I can’t thank you for that ever.
        🙂 A smile just for you ….. You are the sweetest thing ever occurred to me ! Love you Hugs ! Hope you have accepted my apologies now 🙂

  5. Welcome back Miss Pearl!
    Dare you not to get lost on us again! :p
    It’s December,
    It has already lot to remember…
    and lot to retain!….
    There’s no space here for pain. 🙂

    • Lol I dare doing it now very often…. I am scared of this place now as people have started judging me on the basis of my writings….I never wanted that.
      Yes It’s December…..And for me it is second name for pain. Thank you for your response Ali 🙂

  6. This is fab. (y)
    Glad, you are back.
    Everyone’s writing about December, I should too. 😦

  7. “When you stare into the abyss, it stares back at you”
    Loved the post, the image, the poetry. But I think I don’t love December anymore..

  8. I always liked winter over summer, so yes dec is sure one nice month of mine. There is nothing like the soothing warmth of hot cardamom tea or coffee with the cold seeping in you from around. though Nov is my fav month, but yes dec is undeniably serene, peaceful and quite as if nature itself is lost in pensive thoughts. I’m glad someone else enjoys it too lol, it always bothers me when people complain of cold all the time discounting the winter hues which are just so mystic and bewitching for me atleast. oh and btw i LOVE the picture you set in the post, just made it my laptop desktop background 🙂


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