“I Love You” – A Fiction.

red_rose_on_a_grave__in_bellu_by_schwarzekatze181

She said, “I need to talk to you !”

And he never did.

He reminisced. Each time she tried to share her feelings he pushed her away. Every time she cried in front of him, he was pissed off. Each time she said that she needed him with her, he disappeared.

He shouts on her , insults her but she never turned away…. she threw her self respect far away for him….And he use all his self respect and ego against her. Whenever they had a fight, he never apologized and talked to her first. And every time she made him realize that after talking and resolving the fight by apologizing first.

Love of Human

Sacrificed Self respect

Butchered ego

Pleasurable pain

Enchanting heartache

Dying Wishes

Trembling smiles

Tranquility

He never knew through how much pain she has to go through to keep poking him with texts and call when she knew he don’t care. She knew he won’t reply but still she kept staring at the screen for a long time and then burst into tears.

“I Love you”

“I Love you too”

These were the words that begun and end there conversation…..and which were the only words to say when they had nothing else left to say to each other…..and these were the words he kept saying to her almost a hundred times a day……

And he recalled, He was not there for her in her most miserable times….. She stopped sharing her pain because she wanted him in her life.

Tears were dropping by his eyes…one by one…..and he was staring in the air…..

He recalled the texts she left for her in these days….She said she wanted to talk to him but he was angry…He was taking a break from her…He never replied….He never talked to her……..He needed time.

He never knew time is a thing no one can have. It doesn’t breathe but it dies.

She shared her feelings once again this time and like always…..He turned his back on her. He stopped talking…He needed time. She kept talking….. She needed him.

But she had no time left…….

He wiped away his tears , put that red flower on her fresh grave and whispered , ” I Love you and I knew you would wait for me” .

Haunting regrets were all he was left with.

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* P.S Adrift : No, this is not FOR you…. This is ABOUT me. Couldn’t come up with anything better in this misery.

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45 Comments

  1. Young love… I hate it… Not the poem of course lol

    Reply
    • Young Love ? 3 years of long distance relationship with proposals rejected by the parents…. I don’t think so it can be called as young at all ! Thank you anyway πŸ™‚

      Reply
      • When you’re in Love you cannot bear separation and continuously crave to be with your partner, however if they don’t reciprocate the same affection or reject you it really shouldn’t matter. Yes love hurts, but enough to kill you? Never.

        It’s comes down to our own sense of identity and expectations that lead us to our own misery. Hence why I say young love… Falling in love is a life defying moment, a learning curve for many, but until we don’t learn from these lessons the pain will always follow. Be strong.

      • You are right dear lady ! Thank you for sharing your thoughts about love with me.

      • Well as time goes on..you release more details of your dilemma and your story inspires me to great anger against your culture not your religion..

        You see..it is against all social animal nature including human social animal nature to control reproductive freedom..

        In fact.. reproductive freedom is equivalent to the Power that is Allah and Love as Love nor creativity that is at the basis of the Power of Allah simply does not happen without a balance of lust and love…

        Whether we want to admit it or not..overall..as science now empirically evidences lust is at the core of our very existence and the drive to even live..

        So..your dilemma is not just in your head it is also at the Core of Allah the GOD of love ITSeLF!

        All my life the cultural elements that in reality are not part of the core of Christianity that the real historical Jesus spread..use myths to attempt to control the reproductive freedom of women in the west as well..

        But this is where civil rights has led to great strides to give back to women their rights to control their destiny of their true will with Allah or as we usually say in the West God….

        And yes..this most definitely includes their basic Allah right to reproductive freedom..and that does mean..the individual choice of choosing the one they want to reproduce with ..not THE CHOICE OF a parent..not a brother..nor a sister..or anyone else in this Universe but the individual who finds another individual attractive in a lustful way as well a loving way…as this reproductive freedom and lust is again at the core of all human and allah creativity….

        Well one myth that is particularly damaging to women here..in the Catholic church that i attend is the virgin birth of Jesus..that does not nearly match to the actual text of historical records..that indicate virgin mean pure of soul..not abstaining from lust…

        As again..lust is natural..and part of human nature..from the time we are very young as human beings….

        WELL IN MY Brain washed state..in my first love relationship whether or not my lust and love then was a physical virgin..was requirement in my brain washed mind to even be with her as any love at all.. So i drilled her mind for assurance that was what she was over her even existence as a human and spiritual being at one with ALLAH or GOD…or what I like to say now as allahgodallah….

        That was truly sad but it hurt her..and it was because of the brainwashing of my culture..not allah or god or allahgodallah….

        The largest offense usually spoken against the Muslim religion in our culture in debates against Muhammad is that he took a young girl as a wife..in a concubine..which would be called pedophilia in our culture..and well I am against this too..as this definitely goes against reproductive freedom..and while I’m not sure what the historical texts that actually exist about Muhammad say if this is really true or not..but my understanding is it is a great source and justification used in your culture to control the reproductive freedom of women..for the needs of men..not women..in an extremely selfish way..and a way that an animal with an ethical conscious does not have to act on..nor would any other social animal submit to this freely….

        Well anyway..before I met you and actually knew your heart and your soul..my hypothesis in logical discussions..before i regained my heart and soul that in part was gaining access to yOur ‘virgin soul’..per the pure part..is that the battle for reproductive freedom is at the core of world conflicts between the western and middle eastern world…

        Now more than ever I see this is true..

        And when women in your country and all the other middle eastern countries finally find their reproductive freedoms..

        It will likely truly mean eventually finally mean a world of peace…

        Instead of Drone attacks from the west or terrorist attacks from the middle east…

        So well..dear you are a symbol of the hope of that world peace…

        Cause if YOU could marry who YOU want to.. YOUR soul and heart would once again..

        BE FREE

        AS ALLAH WANTS IT TO BE..WHETHER YOUR PARENTS UNDERSTAND THIS TRUE NATURE OF ALLAH AND YOU AS ALLAH’S CHILD OR NOT…..

        NO YOU ARE NOT JUST YOUR PARENTS CHILD..YOU ARE ALLAH’S CHILD..

        AND ALLAH’S WILL AND YOURS COMES FIRST..NOT YOUR PARENT’S…

        please ask yourself deeply who you are listening to..your culture..your parents..or allah…

        i’ve heard your answer before on that..

        but the words you say do not convince me that this is your TRUE WiLL under yes the lust and love of allah….

        That is the TRUE COMPLETE POWER OF ALLAH….A BALANCE OF LUST AND LOVE

        AND YEAH..I WROTE A POST ABOUT THIS..BUT I DID NOT HOLD BACK ANY PUNCHES..AND MANY PEOPLE IN BOTH YOUR AND MY CULTURE WOULD FIND IT EXTREMELY OFFENSIVE…

        BUT I SEEK THE TRUTH..NOT A COMPLIMENT FROM ANYONE…

        BUT TO PLEASE MY ALLAHGODALLAH…

  2. Well… Fiction or speculation of a haunting reality… Whatever it is… it’s heart piercing.
    But one wonders why woman would sacrifice her self-esteem and her prestige for love?
    Isn’t true love one where you are independent, all while loving someone till eternity?
    Isn’t true love one where you are considered and embraced with your individuality?
    Isn’t true love one where you are allowed to dream, and convert it into reality?
    Isn’t true love one where you are not bound to someone like a life-less entity?
    Isn’t true love one where you are not begging to someone for your security?
    Isn’t true love one where you are you and not some object out of a fantasy?
    But then I guess you’re right. If not true love then “I love you.” is a fiction indeed.
    πŸ™‚

    Reply
    • Ali you know you understood it far better than everyone else did….. Your comment is a master piece in its own self. Your questions caught me into thinking literally…..and I don’t have answers to these…. If true love is like what you have described then I may be wandering in some kind of fantasy till now…..I sacrificed my every thing for Love and I guess that is what true love is…Sacrifices…At least for me it is.
      Yes I love you is a fiction….for those who Love not to Love……
      Thank you Ali…… So very much.

      Reply
  3. Sounds a lot like my situation, but I have begun not to care, not to love and must find a way out, before I begin to hate. Is he a Sagtitarious? Many do not belied in the astolological signs, yet if you have known Sags. You’ll know there is a lot of truth in ther mental make-up, of extreme selfishness and pyschological illness.

    Reply
    • I feel doing things you have done so difficult yet impossible. And this is a fiction….So make character’s start whatever you like πŸ™‚ Thank you for your response …. Love xx

      Reply
  4. Sorry for the typos…

    Reply
  5. rjl2727

     /  December 14, 2013

    fuck the “like” button – it is so insane as the only option when we are all in pain. and, it usually indicates that someone wants to keep you hooked to them, but does not have the time or inclination to read you. and that seems a metaphor for your misery. of course, i want to cry for you and probably will. but i would also say, our brother, Ali raises some penetrating questions. i don’t know what is fiction and what is reality in this one writing, but i can put enough of your writings together to know that you deserve far better than what you have or are hanging on for. and i hope you will forgive such an intrusive opinion, but you are a beautiful soul that seems to be waiting on someone who has no capacity to fill your soul rather than looking for the one who not only can, but would die to be the one to fill you. i hope you find the one you truly deserve.

    Reply
    • I really agree to what you have said about the like button……. and your opinion seems to be right….I don’t know. And I want to portray this writing as a fiction so leave it that way. I hope your words come true…. Thank you for the nice words , as always ! Love..

      Reply
      • rjl2727

         /  December 16, 2013

        yes, i thought afterwards that i should have kept my opinion to myself. i apologize if i offended you. i wish the very best for you. bob

  6. Hey my darling little sister! πŸ™‚

    How is life treating you? I see this is Fiction and for that I am glad for you. If you had said Non-fiction? Ohhh I would have been worried, but you’re not 10ft under ground, are you?
    I’ve been away from blogging as of late but are looking forward to getting back into it in the New Year. How are the wedding plans going and do you have your dress? Ohh you are going to be the most beautiful bride!
    The post was deep dark, chilling even to some extent but as always I enjoy your writings.
    I hope you have found and inner peace as the year has gone by. My thoughts are with you, little sister. Hugs Big Sis xxxxxxx

    Reply
    • Hey big sis ! Hope you are fine. Life never treats me well. Well If I want to portray it as a fiction then better leave it that way πŸ™‚ You know. Yeah I noticed your absence but I knew in my heart you ll be fine and happy πŸ™‚ Wedding plans are going well I guess…..My parents are planning it.
      Thank you Sister for being there for me….I Love you. Hugs.

      Reply
      • I love you back and I know things aren’t easy for you. You’re in my thoughts even when I’m not blogging. I see you as this beautiful woman trying to smile and not let others see your own personal sadness. Why do I think this? Because I think your stuck between a rock and a hard place, and you’re getting by the best you can. Sorry if I spoke out of turn? Your a beautiful shining star and I hug you. Big Sis xxxxxxx

      • You are in my thoughts too big sis as I have only one sister and that is you. How can I forget you ? I look beautiful to you because you are beautiful πŸ™‚ Love you…stay happy. Hugsxx

      • And you Beautiful White Pearl. xxxx

  7. LadyBlueRose's Thoughts Into Words

     /  December 14, 2013

    haunting words…as if you are seeing someones memories…
    I wonder if you are….
    Wishing you a moment within peace to last a lifetime….
    Take Care…You Matter…
    )0(
    maryrose

    Reply
    • Not memories….. seeing the present ! Thank you for your kind words Lady blue rose ! I love having you here πŸ™‚ Take care and so much Love xx

      Reply
  8. Well at least adrift thanked you for wishing him a happy birthday..I suppose that is something in time..that can be remembered…

    But Love has no time..and time has no existence..in the greater reality that is..yah..that’s a philosophical statement..but i think it is truly true too..once the illusions of life are melted away…

    Well..yah..i was 21 once 2..and i remember how i viewed love then..but OMG i view it so differently now than I did then…

    Remembering my first love that i was no longer in touch was definitely a fantasy of love that was only in my heart of bits and pieces of the attachments that the usual jealous love that humans create as illusion..can create as prison more over..over all for a soul for heart with prickly pear feelings of isolation and despair…

    Well i think i mentioned earlier that there are five researched and documented languages of love..including acts of service..physical touch..receiving gifts..words of affirmation..and quality time…

    Well obviously all five of those aspects of materialistic human love are missing in the fantasy constructed about an ideal of love presented here by ya..it seems to me…

    But in the marriage counseling that my wife and I have been receiving for the last over 2 years..there is a sixth type of love discussed there that is the LOVE OF ALLAH..and this thing called CHRIST in our western religions..that is far..far..far above the other types of traditional human love…

    Well I told my marriage counselor about it first..and yah..as a Roman Catholic Pacific Islander..she could verify with me that this is TRUE and she could relate as many people without this connection to GOD or ThIS essence that I see true..have no idea of what tHis sixth type of love even is..as one can only kNow it..if they experience IT…

    Well to be honest..it pissed my wife off..as although she is a strong believing Christian person..she does not experience tHis sixth type of love..and she is alarmed as i tell her that i love everyone the same with tHis type of love..and not even more than her….

    But again..tHeRe is emotional love..and yah..she is the special one for that…

    But no matter what would ever happen between me and my life..or wife….

    I will always have the sixth language of love..as THAT is ALLAH that NOW lives in me as

    ONE..

    Well dear..ONE again..is what i wish for you as ONE aGain..IS TRULY HEAVEN NOW…

    IN ALL THE UNIVERSES OF MY UNDERSTANDING..OF WHATEVER COULD BE….

    JUST ONE giving LOVEofALLAH..

    Never taking..never expecting..only giving dear…

    ISALLALLAHIS….

    LOVE

    THESIXTHLOVEDEAR

    AND YAH.. THAT IS ALWAYS THE TYPE OF LOVE THAT I SHARE WITH YOU..AND ALL OTHERS2…..

    ALLAHISALLAH

    LOVE

    AND WHAT IS CRAZY AS HELL..IS YOU GAVE IT TO ME..BUT I CANNOT TRULY MAKE ANYONE HAVE IT..I CAN ONLY GIVE IT..

    THAT IS ALL….

    SO I ONLY ASK ALLAH…

    TO PLEASE LET YOU HAVE IT….

    PLEASE DEAR ALLAH..IS ALL I DO…..

    AND YES FOR4 ALL OTHERS2…………………….

    WHEN I DANCE TOgetHErWitHALLAHASONE………..

    LOVE

    THE SIXTH LANGUAGE OF LOVE

    ALLAHLOVEALLAH

    ORGODORWH@EVERMORENOw

    LOVEISALLtHEreIS

    LOVEVOL
    VES
    NOWASON
    E
    2

    Reply
    • Hah yes he did….. Perfectly…. He is a nce person I just don’t deserve him.
      I read all your philosophy about love…. And according to me that sixth type of love is the only true love….every other love is just a path to reach it….. The divine love.
      Thank you for telling your story and for sharing your experiences ! Love xx

      Reply
      • Well..you are most welcome..and of course thank you too for sharing your experiences dear..as they always inspire me too..:)..and yah..love2….;)

  9. oh..and yah..ya..continue to inspire greater and greater love that is me..NOW..so here is part of the inspiration that is you..
    hEre…at this link2….love…
    YES I LOVE YOU dear friend….

    http://katiemiafrederick.com/2013/12/13/the-sixth-language-of-love-allahgodallah/

    Reply
  10. After a long time a simple and ordinarily written bunch of words felt to be heart touching..
    “Power of simplicity that it touches every heart.”

    Unfortunately we are living in a society of “EGO”.
    People take things granted.
    Understanding things from heart and not from head, is what we lack.

    “Wonderfully simple, soul touching deep and well expressed….”

    Reply
    • First of all thanks so much for the beautiful appreciation ! Honored. You are right…. and Ego kills every other noble thing in a human….
      Thanks again for using such nice words for my piece…I love your comment . Stay blessed ! xx

      Reply
  11. i love to rea happy stories
    write also some of them πŸ™‚

    Reply
  12. πŸ™‚ Run off to the mailbox πŸ™‚

    Reply
  13. Oh Snap! I guess I… Now Listen up sister… Nah… Jab tu aayegi tab bolunga… Badmash ladki… Aaja jaldi… Waiting…

    Reply
  14. Oh hilarious! Enjoyed this one tremendously! πŸ™‚

    Reply
  15. Divine πŸ™‚ So much pain that I am haunting words for solace..
    Love is beautiful , for some it may be life, for some its insanity.. But believe me, its just the person who gives value to the word love …
    Mind blowing post

    Reply
  16. while reading this post, i could easily relate it to myself, i felt like these were my words. my emotions poured into words beautifully… with every word, I suffered the way may be you suffered while writing.

    Reply
  17. If it is indeed a fiction, it is very well written … and if it is true then all i can say is that i know exactly how it feels…

    Reply
  18. Reblogged this on Β« R * J Β» and commented:
    Very well written … #KahaniGharGharKi as some may say…

    Reply
  19. Well written and heart touching.

    Reply
  1. The Sixth Language of LOVE..ALLAHGODALLAH | KATiE MiA FredericK!iI

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