The Cute Little Angel and Cancer

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I was constantly staring at that cute little fairy wandering in the crowd fearlessly. She was probably 5 or 6 years old, wearing a stunning pink and white dress. Half of her hair were tied in a band while half of them were scattered on the forehead. It was a traditional Mehndi function and the stage In front of the groom was covered in lighted candles fixed in small clay containers. She would go running towards the stage and try to touch those candles and her mother would come to her, pick her up and take her back to the table where her family was sitting. She was eager to touch the candles so whenever her mother would get busy she would run towards the stage.

In that boring purposeless function, the only prettiest thing that indulged me was that beautiful angel. I love babies and children and I always wished I could have a cute baby girl like her. Her Mother gave birth to her brother a month ago. They live in UK and are our relatives.

Today I heard that she is diagnosed with blood Cancer. I was shocked and terrified and I felt like my heart has stopped beating for a while. Such a cute little angel and such a dreadful disease. She is so small so innocent how would she bear such intense pain. My heart is crying for her since I have heard the news, I am worried about her and about her family specially her Mother. How would she see her little angel in such a pain. From where would she collect the courage ?

I can’t express what I am feeling right now. The point of sharing these News with you is only that you pray for her health and her long life. I have heard, and witnessed that prayers are very powerful. If everyone of you who reads my post will pray for her, may be Allah listens and May be He gives her health back to her. After all, He is the merciful and Kind.

Please take out some seconds from your busy life and give her a beautiful gift of Dua. May she recovers very soon. Ameen !

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Back Here Again !

Hi my beautiful fellows ! I don’t know right now whether any of you still follows my blog or not or whether anyone of you will get to read this post or it will stay here, unnoticed. I have written on my other blog for about 7 months and tonight, I felt like returning back to this one. I can’t figure out why I love this blog so much. May be because this is the place where I used to write with all my heart, where I used to share what I felt without even bothering to give words all the fanciness and glitter. Where I made so many beautiful friends and met so many honest and nice people who helped me in my bad times and never left me alone.

This blog was the place where I used to wander when I was struggling to go through life. When my mind never used to get tired of thinking in new dimensions and above all, when He was with me. When my Allah was with me. I lost Him on my way to pass life and I am struggling to get Him back from then. May be this place helps me to get Him back. May be you people help me to get Him back.

Back then, I wished to get a normal life. Now, I want to get that life back again. I want to get heart broken and I want to get all my pain back. That pain was the reason He was here. It was the reason I was in Love with him and He used to listen to me. It was a part of me and now  I am alone and miserable but I don’t feel that pain. A black hole of abyss is sucking me deep inside and this hollowness in my heart, it grows. I wan’t to cry but I can’t. May be man never gets satisfied with what he gets.

I wish you still read me here. I would be glad to know if you do 🙂 Love you all.

“I Love You” – A Fiction.

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She said, “I need to talk to you !”

And he never did.

He reminisced. Each time she tried to share her feelings he pushed her away. Every time she cried in front of him, he was pissed off. Each time she said that she needed him with her, he disappeared.

He shouts on her , insults her but she never turned away…. she threw her self respect far away for him….And he use all his self respect and ego against her. Whenever they had a fight, he never apologized and talked to her first. And every time she made him realize that after talking and resolving the fight by apologizing first.

Love of Human

Sacrificed Self respect

Butchered ego

Pleasurable pain

Enchanting heartache

Dying Wishes

Trembling smiles

Tranquility

He never knew through how much pain she has to go through to keep poking him with texts and call when she knew he don’t care. She knew he won’t reply but still she kept staring at the screen for a long time and then burst into tears.

“I Love you”

“I Love you too”

These were the words that begun and end there conversation…..and which were the only words to say when they had nothing else left to say to each other…..and these were the words he kept saying to her almost a hundred times a day……

And he recalled, He was not there for her in her most miserable times….. She stopped sharing her pain because she wanted him in her life.

Tears were dropping by his eyes…one by one…..and he was staring in the air…..

He recalled the texts she left for her in these days….She said she wanted to talk to him but he was angry…He was taking a break from her…He never replied….He never talked to her……..He needed time.

He never knew time is a thing no one can have. It doesn’t breathe but it dies.

She shared her feelings once again this time and like always…..He turned his back on her. He stopped talking…He needed time. She kept talking….. She needed him.

But she had no time left…….

He wiped away his tears , put that red flower on her fresh grave and whispered , ” I Love you and I knew you would wait for me” .

Haunting regrets were all he was left with.

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* P.S Adrift : No, this is not FOR you…. This is ABOUT me. Couldn’t come up with anything better in this misery.

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O December…

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December…. A symbol of sadness and pain, quiet and peace, calmness and reticence. A symbol of unearned Love, unwanted desires and unanswered prayers. Mournful feelings of melancholy and gloom are embedded in its essence. Chilled winds full of woes an abyss….

Friedrich Nietzsche says

“When you stare into the abyss, it stares back at you”

December…. was never like this for me. I read thousands of quotes describing about its sad essence and many people discussing about its sorrowful qualities but I never believed them. It was like other months of the year for me until now….

When In the center of snow , I stand

See white snow  falling on the dry land

When chilling winds give me shiver

Sadness prevailed, Tears do wither

I see myself lost in the winds and snow

And here I stand, with agony and woe

Both my best friends yet worst enemies

And here I stand, invisible and vanished

Like shadows vanishing with nights

Cold that makes our inside, cold !

Blood freezes inside veins, Lifeless heart

Pumps it hard but never succeeds

And I am left with the effortless efforts and

unanswered questions, question marks

When every way I see is not for me

And I want to move, without ways , in abyss

White Darkness; The only thing I see

Rays of hope fainted , I am abandoned

In the horrifying cage of December…..

Empty handed I stand, Lifeless I grow

A soul-less statue I form, lost in the glow

Of December, The month of gloom and abyss…..

O December….

“He had been walking for a long time, ever since dark in fact, and dark falls soon in December.”

(“The Old House In Vauxhall Walk”)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She…

She is not a good blogger nor a good writer. She keeps writing same things again and again no matter what we say. Her writings always revolve around her own life…the same so called sadness, the same pain , the same fears…. She keeps writing about them and we keep advising her but she never understands nor does she change her views about anything. I think she should stop this…. I think she should bound herself again in the huge , concrete, unwanted walls of her own self…. Freedom is not for her….Sharing don’t suit her….It never did…. She should stop now, yeah ?

Happiness ? She do’t know what it is ? Oh she is a big liar ! Who don’t understand happiness ? She do too. She know how to smile…she know how to extract happiness from her favorite moments….She just don’t want herself to be happy…. she is giving her own self some kind of punishment which she don’t realize…. Why ? She laughs on jokes…she talks and make people laugh…. She seems normal enough ! Then why do she writes opposite to it ? May be she want sympathies of people…may be she wants pity ! May be she enjoys when people spend their time diverging her thoughts towards positiveness….. She is bad enough to be hated anyway !

She hates dreaming and she still do it….She still never stops and still gets wounded with their broken ends….And she is willing to bear an unending pain just for some seconds of amusement ? What a loser.

What a dual personality she is….. She says she loves Allah so much and on the same time she let Him down… She do things which He don’t like and still she thinks He loves her…. How can she do this ? She is definitely an abnormal person with no character and mind. She will soon die by drowning in her own self.

She annoys her readers now…I think she should stop it ! She definitely should…

 

 

Repentance, With Love.

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A black heart, dirty soul, tear filled eyes and trembling hands….. That is all I have. I don’t worth standing in front of you…. And still I am here….. I don’t deserve your mercy….. Yet still I am begging for it.

You are The Beneficent, you are The Merciful, You are The Almighty,  You are Kind. You Love me more than every single person in the world.

I do sins and I repent. You forgive me. I do sins again an I repent again and you forgive me. How would I ever be able to return you what you have been doing for me all my life ?

And here I am…begging you again with a bundle of sins on my shoulders….. I need you with me….I need to talk to you.

I know you are angry with me. And I know you will forgive me again. This feeling is all I have….More than a treasure for me. I need the exams you take from me…I need the difficulties…I need the problems….. I have realized what you always say that exams are for special persons to whom you want to give something other than ordinary.

I have realized, a life full of comfort and happiness is nothing….. I have realized I am nothing without you….

I know the difference now when you take my exams and when you punish me….I have recognized the feeling…. I want to have more….

I want to indulge in Ishq-e-haqiqui…..I want to be your ‘Muqarab’…… I want to Live this life for you….. I know my Wishes are huge…But same is your personality Allah….and I know I am wishing it from you…… You are Almighty.

I Love you Allah tala jee I Love you….Please forgive me…..

I am running out of words…..But you know what is going on in my heart…..I don’t know fancy words to attract you….I just have a plain simple heart and soul who is filled with your Love…..You know me Allah tala and I know you will respond…..

I just want to tell you I am embarrassed….I can’t lift up my eyes…..I am feeling ashamed of myself…..and I love you.

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Ek din Hazrat Moosa (A.S) ne Allah se kaha k mai Aapki Rehmat aur insan k gunah dekhna chahta hn Allah ne frmaya Peche dekho, Dekha to ek bohot bare Samandar k andar 1 drakht par 1 chirya apne mou mai mitti le kr bethi hai,

Hazrat Moosa (A.S) ne kaha ye kya.

Allah ne farmaya,

ye Samandar meri Rehmat hai aur ye drakht dunya , ye chirya insan aur us k mo mai jo thori c mitti hai wo us k Sare Gunah hain. Agar ye apna mo khol kr mitti(Gunah) pani mai gira de to meri Rehmat ko koi farq nhi parta. To kyun na insan touba kre aur main maaf na kron, insan to Naadan hai.

[ One day Hazrat Moosa (R.A) said to Allah that I want to see your blessing and human’s sins. Allah asked him to see behind. He saw a huge sea and a tree inside it, a sparrow sitting on that tree and some mud in its mouth.

Hazrat Moosa (A.S) said what is this ?

Allah said,

This sea is my blessings and this tree is this world, this sparrow is human being and the dirt in its mouth is all his sins. If this sparrow opens it’s mouth and throw all the dirt in water, it won’t effect my blessings . Then why not a human repents and I forgive him ? As human is unknowing.

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I should laugh.

What should I call myself ? Huh !

A loser ? A psycho patient ? A dumb idiot ? Sorry I can’t come up with a better word.

My life has been a total disaster…..I have been living in the house of my own imaginations.

All my life I thought I shouldn’t show my tears to my parents…I shouldn’t share my problems with the….They should never see me crying….. Why ? Because I thought they might get worried….I thought I have never given them any happiness so I have no right to give them pain because of me.

And today I am laughing at my thoughts. I am making fun of my own self…..

I was lying on my bed….crying and sobbing…..Reason was my parents.

They stood in the the door way…watching me. And then they left. They didn’t even say a word.  They didn’t even ask why am I crying.

They didn’t even thought I am dying for their one sentence of sympathy and care.

I am witnessing the pile of my imagination about my parents scattered on the ground right now….. And I am laughing…..

Happiness means smiling and laughing….Yeah?

So I am happy……I am so happy.

Because I know now, my parents don’t give a F*** !!

I was wandering in a black hole with no start or end and suddenly I am at the dead end !

(16th november 2013….A post written while crying and in extreme emotional imbalance)

A Thorn……….

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The World is not heaven…. The world is not heaven…… A voice echoed in my ears and tore them apart along with my heart….. This world is not heaven………..

Then why did you show it to me…why did you let me feel it…why did you let me see it…. for some seconds…. for some bits…. why didn’t you kept it hidden from my eyes….

And now that I have seen my heaven why can’t I get it here ? It is very hard for me to see my heaven some steps away from me and I feel impossible to get it….. I stretch both my hands and I run fast but I can’t get there…. I return each time to the point where I started….. why ? because this world is not heaven…..

I got aware of what is meant by heaven and what is meant by living hell that day….. I got aware of the hidden meanings… The meanings about which people say, some things are better unknown !

I am burning in  the fire…. The fire of my wishes…. Wishes which are not about things of this world… wishes which are about having a life….I don’t have any right of ‘living’ ? I was born to live dead ? The fire burns me inside…… I can’t breathe….

Iqbal says us to destroy ‘Me’ …. To destroy the self….. To live for others…. Then where did this fire come from ? He never mentioned it….. What is this then ?

Allah says the pain that takes me close to Him is an exam for me and the pain that takes me away from him is a punishment.

My pain took me closer to Him…. Can sins take people closer to Him ? I am confused.

I once read, Bigger the sin bigger is the gift after you repent. The gift of pain is too much to handle…. But the gift of Him is everything to hold on to…. I can’t decide who am I ?

I don’t know why I am crying from last… I don’t know how many hours and I don’t know how I slept in his feet today…. I don’t know why I feel Him so close to me right now…. I don’t know why I want to quit….quit this world and go to Him…. I don’t know why I am me…..

I feel jealous….I feel jealous of the people who say they are happy and satisfied…. I feel jealous of the people who can talk about Him for hours and then do things opposite to the one they just said….

Do I deserve craving for the only only wish I had ? Yes May be.

I am nothing, With you I am everything……. 30-1-2013

It pricks like a thorn….. It pricks like a thorn………. This world is not heaven… It burns like fire…. It cuts like a knife…. And it pricks like a thorn……

 

 

 

 

The Black Rose

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Under the shadows of savage life , deep inside the dark forest.

A black rose possessed its tragic existence.

It was out cast and unwanted despite all its fragrance and radiance , It never fits in the relinquishing blooms.

It was cultivating loneliness in the presence of the whole forest and hence loneliness was out-grown !

It was growing thorns since the beginning as it always knew the one who dares not grasp the thorn should never crave the rose….

No one watered it, It nourished on its own till its ravishing bloom appeared…..It was always taken ‘For Granted’ and it bestowed an ancient confidence.

And one day it started burning but no one had time to grieve over it because they were busy admiring the forest…

All it ever wanted was to reach out and touch the hearts of other roses…. It wanted some Love but it forgot that all great and precious things are always lonely in the forest.

Its eyes were glued on life and they were full of tears…. It bled tears and its petals absorbed them silently…. It never gave a plaintive cry but its silence was deafening !

Slowly with the prolonged grief, the petals became pale. Autumn prevailed over it…in spring !

And then ‘Black’ was gone… All that was left was pinching thorns and pale stems. It followed the quickest path of self-destruction that was to push away all the loved ones, all the wishes.

The descent stripped it bare and left it as it was at its core, It was painful… It was abashed, ruined.

Black was gone… The beauty was gone…. The lustrous shine was turned to painful sighs…

The Black Rose was a part of the forest now !

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I have been busy these days in final presentation and stuff. I will reply to your comments as soon as I get free. I hope you will not mind and stay with me . Wish me luck. Thanks !

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Under The Spell Of Black Magic….!

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I had been thinking about the magical things I have been hearing these days too often So here I am sharing them with you.

This is a true story from 9 to 10 years ago when I was a little kid and used to sleep in my Mom’s room on a separate small bed. I still remember it because it gives me goose bumps still when I recall it.

It was the time of mid night and everyone was sleeping. Suddenly I woke up and saw a shadow moving towards my Mom’s bed. It sat down beside her on her pillow. I felt scared and I cried “Mom there is someone sitting beside you” . She was so sleepy and without opening her eyes she pulled out her hand and punched that thing on his back with her fist and then slept again. And I was not watching a dream because I heard the sound of punching. That thing, then stood up and started walking towards the door and disappeared ! When I told my mom in the morning she said she remember me crying but there was nothing else she could recall.

I am not sure whether that really happened or I was dreaming. Since my childhood I have heard of so many stories about magic and ghosts and people who tell them claim them to be true.

Another incident happened to my father when I was in college. He went out of station and when he returned at night, his clothes were covered with blood stains. We were all so worried. He then told that he was walking towards the train and he felt like someone has pushed him from the rear and suddenly his clothes were all covered with blood and he fainted. One of the persons near by took him to his shop. He was a Hafiz-e-Quran (People who know Quran by heart) and he told my dad that
the blood is not human blood and he has been attacked by black magic, but he survived. My mom used to tell me that the same thing happened to my dad when I was a little baby. He was sitting in someone’s shop and he was covered in blood within an instant. Than he went to Qaari Saab ( Pious Hafiz-e-Qran) and he told him that he survived the attack because he was reciting Quranic verses at that time.

Despite this, I haven’t seen any type of Magic related thing in my whole life. I have listened to the stories of my friends but since I have not seen them with my eyes I don’t believe in them. I have heard stories how close relatives do magic on people out of jealousy or some other reasons and what effects this magic could have on them.

Magic can be done for giving financial crisis to people, for causing them health problems and diseases, for stopping their minds to work for studies or job, for making a person paralyze, causing heart attack or even death. I wonder how could these people sleep at nights but I have heard those people getting ruined and destructed after-wards. Some stores were related to how some homes can be under the spell of Ghosts and how they irritate people to leave them. They even go inside small kids and scare other family members.

People use different things to make magic work. These things include small written papers, small pieces of clothes, blood, meat or bones of some animal and things like that and these things are buried or hid at some place where no one could see them. And then by discarding these things and reciting proper verses the spell can be broken.

Seems like the typical Horror series or movie story ! It is weird though how we think these serials to be stupid and believe in things happening to the lives of people around us.

People who have seen these things with their own eyes believe in them and people who haven’t seen them, think them to be absurd. Specially the ‘modern’ people. I don’t know about their truth except the things I have seen by myself. But I do believe that ghosts exist and they live in this world like we do. I have also read that there is a third dimension of this world where
these type of things exist and they could sometimes interfere in the lives of humans too due to some unknown reasons. I also have heard that Ghosts have certain limitations and they can not always enter the human world .

I don’t have any kind of proof of any of these assumption to be right or wrong. I am just curious to know the hidden truths of this universe. I love Horror movies and novels too , have read couple of them and I am not scared of ghosts…  Our knowledge and wisdom is limited… God knows how many other creatures are living with us and may be reading this article with me as I am writing it ! 😉

The magic spell culture is increasing in Pakistan among the uneducated and foolish people. I have no idea whether people of other countries have to face it too or not ! Do YOU have any scary story from your own life ?

Grave Is Your Destination…

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** Urdu lines are taken from a Naat read by Junaid Jamshed.

Duniya k aye musaafir , Manzil teri Qabar hai

Manzil teri qabar hai…

Tay ker raha hai jo tu, do din ka ye safar hai

du din ka ye safar hai…

O traveler of the world, grave is your destination

Grave is your destination…

The one you are travelling, is a two days exploration

Is a two days exploration…

Sitting at the back seat in the car by window side, she settled her head at corner of the window glass. Her eyes were wandering along the trees and the roads…. people of different ages on various vehicles, In a hurry to reach somewhere, to do something…. alone or with their families…. Colorful clothes…. Chatting , smiling faces…… Energetic and glowing children running by the road side…. bright blue clouds…. It was Eid day… Eid which is a second name for happiness……..

Ankhon sa tu nay apni , kitnay janazay dekhay ?

Hathon sa tunay  apnay , dafnay kitnay murday ?

Dafnay Kitnay murday….

Anjam sa tu apnay , kyun itna be khabar hai ?

Kyun Itna Be khabar hai…

With your own eyes, how many funerals have you witnessed ?

With your own hands, How many dead’s have you buried ?

How many dead’s have you buried…

Of your consequence, why are you so ignorant ?

Why are you so ignorant…

She had a bad mood since morning that day… She cried over small things… It was Eid ! She was supposed to be happy but she locked herself in her room and cried her heart out laying down on the floor… She realized her last Eid was the same… It started with tears too…and the third last Eid….and the previous ones… She realized ‘Eid’s ‘ are not made for her…. She realized her ‘Eid’ had not come yet… She realized she had no part in today’s happiness…… Or any happiness at all ?

Why ? Why don’t I have the right to feel happy like normal people ? Why don’t you feel me ? She had questions for Him….. He was not answering !

Then she realized she had been thinking about her past and the future , all her life…every moment of her present , she never had a present. Her present was filled with thoughts of the past or worries of the future. She thought, what If she dies today , this very moment ? What has she done to herself ?

Makhmal main sonay walay, mitti main so rahay hain

shah o gada yaha per , sub ek ho rahay hain

Sab aik ho rahay hain….

Dono hoye barabar ye mout ka asar hay

Ye mout ka asar hai…

The ones who slept in silk, are sleeping now in clay

Kings and servants here, are all getting same…

Are all getting same…

Both got equal, this is the effect of death

This is the effect of death…

Her mom was calling her….She was saying her to get ready…to wear colorful clothes…to be lively…. And she was dead already. She never knew for what parents is this said,  that they can know what is in your heart by looking at your eyes…

She had to be happy for the ones who love her and who can’t see her sad. She had to live in present for some time. She had to get rid of the unending dark loneliness inside her… May be thinking about life is not what should be done. May be death is the ultimate truth to be thought of….She stood up. She had to fake it again.

After all the fear of death follows from the fear of life….

 

 

The Day When Personal Passion Was Sacrificed For The Highest Love

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Hundreds of years ago….. A perfect complete home with a father and a son included. Both of them were filled with the same beautiful Love and compassion that is an essence of human nature since first man was forged into the world.

Father once had a dream, a hallucination, that he is sacrificing his son for Allah. Back in those times, Allah used to communicate with people through definite signs, How felicitous and fortunate they were !

The next night . he again witnessed the very dream. Postulating it to be a true one, as all his former dreams proved out to be true, He conceived from it that Allah demanded a sacrifice from him. In order to accomplish Allah’s command, he sacrificed a herd of camels and disseminated the meat among the poor.

Repeatedly in the following nights he witnessed the same dream and did the same sacrifices. Still, the dream didn’t cease. Then he had second thoughts.

He called his beloved son and elaborated him the story , he said “O my son! I have seen you being sacrificed in a dream; what do you say?”(The Quran: 37:102)

The son, being aware of the fact that his father is a prophet of Allah, replied without any reluctance: “O my father! Do what you are commanded; if God please, you will find me of the patient ones” — (The Quran: 37:102).

The father , the son and his mother…. everyone though being anxious and shaken inside, were delighted and overjoyed over getting a chance to serve Allah. How sacramental they were !

Fatherly tender Love and child’s fond affection was going to be sacrificed for the Greater Divine. On their way to alter, they were distracted and horrified by the Satan but they didn’t let anything come in their way.

At the Altar the son threw himself prostrate before his illustrious father, who blindfolded as he was, lest his parental love should come in the way, applied the knife to his son’s throat. An exemplary conduct of complete submission to the will of Allah; sacrificing his only son in His way! The soul of Abraham within himself was praising the Lord, saying: “My prayer and my sacrifice and my life and my death are all for God, the Lord of the worlds”.

Angels stood metamorphosed, as it were, into lifeless pictures and overcome by extreme anxiety. 

“God is great; God is great; God is great; God is great; There is no Allah, but He. And God is great; All praise for God.”

My words and my wisdom is not enough to pen down the great light and the essence of that very happening….

Abraham was about to cut the throat of his only son. But lo! He heard a voice from Above:

“O Abraham! you have indeed shown the truth of the Vision; thus We reward the doers of good. Surely this is a manifest trial” — (The Quran: 37:104-106).

The Patriarch laid down the knife and there was rejoicing mingled with thanksgiving that God had accepted the Sacrifice. It dawned on him what his Vision really meant – viz., that what God wanted was not the blood of his son but the sacrifice of that highest of love which a father has for his son and vice-versa. It was the sacrifice of personal passion that was acceptable to God and that was done both by the father and the son. The father and son fell down in prayer praising their Lord.

From that day, to commemorate this outstanding act of sacrifice (qurbani) by Prophet Abraham, people sacrifice a lamb, goat, ram or any other animal on Eid-ul-Adha and give the meat to friends, neighbors, relatives and the needy. Eid is celebrated with a great zeal and enthusiasm by the Muslims all over the world.

In-spite of judging the intentions of other people behind the sacrifice, Can’t we just do our part honestly ?

I wish all My brothers and sisters a very Happy Eid Mubarik ! People who are away for Hajj , a very warm Congratulations to them too ! 

Eat lots of meat (only your part 😉 ), get fat and remember me in your prayers 🙂

 

 

You Say Equal Rights, I Say Equal Respect !

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” Gender Equity is a thought-provoking direction”

“Men and women should have equal rights”

“They are same”

These were the slogans of one the protest happening in Pakistan with lots of women of every age with modern clothes and expensive make-up on their face shouting their mouths out under hot sun with sun-blocks on their skin !

These are the same women who go to their homes full of servants and sit in air conditioned rooms and insult their female servants and maids. Who don’t even move themselves to get a glass of water and who say a word out of their mouth and their husbands have to follow it. Then the same women brag about what social work they are doing by protesting for Equal right for men and women. Yes they can say that because they see the same thing in their own homes…. Both of them, wife and husband have pockets full of money and both of them work in hugs offices to earn this money !

They say , ” If you can’t cook , get out of kitchen ! “

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But the women working at homes and Growing their children and men working hard from dawn to dusk for their children and raising their family can ask for equal rights and equality ?

I am against the concept of equal rights and equality for men and women. Men and women can never be equal. Both have their own strengths and both have their own weaknesses. No one can take place of the other and both with all their different unique capabilities are necessary to run the society  successfully. Then how come we ask for equal rights ?

If we talk about Islam, Women were treated as inferior creatures before Hazrat Muhammad (PBUH) that they were buried alive . After Him , they were given many rights in society regarding property and other but they were never called as equal to men. They were given greater respect then men but at the same time it was said that they can never take place of men. Men are born to earn and run the family and women have to stay inside to raise their families. They can go out too to earn but under certain restrictions and boundaries. Both of them are born with different natures. I can’t say men should be preferred on women neither am I saying men are superior to women. Both are at an equal place but with their own unique capabilities.  Women will create more imbalance in the society if they would try to do the work men are made for doing. That is why a women ruler is said to be always destructive because Ruling is a characteristic of men.

Nowhere in Quran Allah said that Man is superior to woman. Instead He said

“We created you from a male and female, made you into nations and tribes, so that you may come to know one another. Truly the most honored of you in God’s sight is the greatest of you in piety “ 49:13

Women have their own rights to life, to learn, own and dispose of property, choose a husband, right as a wife, standard of living, right to be treated equally, right to divorce, right to inherit and right to a final will. Men have their own rights.

I am on the side of demanding equal respect for both men and women but when it comes to feminism and equal rights for men and women, I am Sorry I deny it !

 

 

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nam-nu-binh-quyen

Happy Post # 1

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Wandering Eyes and never ending sleepless nights

Headaches ! Restlessness and Severe Hunger at its height

Mind full of questions to inquire about the Mortal life

Blocked brains and frightening Horror filled in eyes

Though enjoyed the time, had fun being a rover

But still, Thank God ! My exams Period is Over  😉

 

Yes ! I just took (most probably) the last exams of my life. Final presentation is still ahead but unofficially I am retired from studies. Back to home now , with all my luggage . Took a day to clear out the cupboards and draws of my room to make it worth-living again… And my “Cooking 101” and “How to manage Home 101″ Courses have been started by my Mom. Four more months to go !I am having a flu these days with a blocked head and flowing nose 😛 *Sneeze* But still, things are better !

I wanted to clear out some things to my dearest readers before replying to their comments on my previous post. First of all, I apologize for being so late in writing and replying to you, as you know I was hell busy ! I read your comments time to time but never got a chance to reply to them.

Secondly, I wanted to clear out the ‘Sad and Always Crying” Image of me, you guys have in your minds. Some months back, when I made this blog , I had a sole purpose of pouring out all the feelings storming inside me because I didn’t have anyone to talk to. I did the same, but I never had the idea that I would make so many friends here and would feel like having a ‘virtual’ family. I love all my family members now . Anyway, so when I wrote sad and teary every time when I got sad, I guess people made a concept in their mind that I always remain that heartbroken and pessimistic.

I want to tell you guys, I am a (Its hard to say myself normal for me , so I would skip that) person like other persons of the world who sometimes suffer from depression and is extra sensitive to things I observe but that doesn’t make me an “always sad” person. I don’t have anyone to talk to and I love sharing my feelings with this blog. I can never wear a mask and pretend on this blog at-least. Yes, I , most of the time come to this blog when I am feeling worse. And I crave less to share happiness than to share my pain , but that’s not my fault.

You want me to write happy ? Ok I will. But then I won’t be honest. I would feel like I am connecting with you people the same way I connect myself , or to be precise pretend myself to be with other people in my life.

I can’t say I am sad, nor can I say I am happy ! I feel what I feel… Have sometimes a whole happy day, sometimes a whole day crying and sometimes a “crying at times, and smiling at others” day.  I am Thankful to God for everything , I stay happy and I laugh too ! Its just that I share more when I cry.I AM like that….. I feel hard to change myself. So I would leave the decision to you guys….What do you want me to write ?

Love you all…. Thanks for staying with me always and remembering me. I Love You ! *Sneeze*

I Am Getting Married.

Yes I am getting married. It took me 1 and a half YEAR to realize this single reality…I am getting married.

Though the things beyond this fact are blur. Getting married to whom ? What do I feel ? Why I am doing this ? Why is all this happening ? Everything is blur.

I am going to be a computer scientist in another month. I Love my field now . I got the highest grades and GPA In my class. I am a so called intelligent student in the eyes of teachers. And yet….I am getting married. Just after the completion of my studies.

People say me to be optimistic about my future ! Can I ? Yes I know I should………..!!

The one I wished to pass all my life with….saw all my future dreams with….planned my future with…..is lost in the fog of time and fate !

The one I am going to have a future with….. I never thought about him….I have no feelings , an empty heart for him. This is the future I have to look up to !

I don’t know If I won’t be getting married , I would be doing any job or studying further , My life would be better in Future.

I don’t know either my life would be good with all that seems obvious. I don;t know anything. I am confused.

It took me 1 and a half year to realize the fact that I am getting married. I don’t know how much time I would take to accept the person of my fate.

My Allah and then my parents chose him for me…..and I accepted their wish…with my eyes closed. I couldn’t kill the happiness of my parents . I never gave them any happiness except this one. I am not selfish.

That was the time I stopped wishing for myself. Its hard when you get wounds all over your soul….by the broken pieces of your dreams….and you find no remedy…..no cure.

I have made room for pain in my heart. I know I have to live with what I am given I know I have to accept and I have to Move on !!

It is a difficult task.

Anyway…… I am getting married on 15th February 2014 and You all are Invited.

 

There should be some caring people to give me their shoulder. After all I need four of them. After all ‘Red’ color is getting ‘white’ for me. After all my marriage may be my funeral.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Please Donate !

Paloma Charity

I am Glad to know that I was missed this time 🙂 Thank you !

I was out of town for some important personal stuff , that is why I couldn’t give time to the blog. Back now . Want to discuss something …. Consider it a welcome back treat for me 🙂

Allah advises us that when giving charity, we should do so in a way that our left hand doesn’t know what our right hand has spent.

I listened to a beautiful explanation of this saying. I want to share it with you people. It was by a Muslim-ah Scholar. She said I use to wonder what this saying means. Always when we do a thing with our hands, all of the body parts know at the same time what is happening. She said she tried to give charity secretly with one hand but at the same moment each of the body part was sent a message about it by the mind . Then she realized it meant something else. It meant that while giving charity we should not count it, because counting involves the second hand. In this way when one hand will give charity the other body parts will never know how much amount was spent. And when we do something for Allah without counting, the reward is countless too.

The cook in our hostel mess is a young lady with 5 children and her husband is dead. She is recently diagnosed Cancer. She is so poor that she hardly raise her children. So finally after visiting many hospitals and annoyed by the expensive treatements she managed to visit Shaukat Khanum Memorial Hospital that was made by Imran khan , a famous political person and I was amazed to listen to the story she told me.

She said they do a free checkup and full treatment of Cancer patients who are poor and can not afford the expensive treatments. And the doctors and nurses and every employee there talks to you in the same way they talk to the people who are rich and can afford the treatment. And the rich people give double triple payments when they recover , with their consent and through this money the poor are treated for free.

We hardly see this type of kindness in this world now, specially in Pakistan.

I request you all please give donations to this hospital for the treatment of Cancer patients. I am requesting this to you because I felt I should. I have done my part. It is your turn now. I hope you people will donate for the noble cause.

This is the website of Shaukat Khanum Hospital .

http://www.shaukatkhanum.org.pk

If you can’t donate much, Just send a text to 7770 and donate Rs-20 for them. 

Mention here when you are done ! May be your donation saves an innocent life 🙂

Kind Regards !

Thank you !

May Be I Am Thinking Too Much !

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I have no memories of my childhood with my parents. Every time I sit back and start thinking , How I use to be with my parents, what were the things I did with them, anything ? There comes nothing ! Except the things told by other people and my parents. They tell me I was so adorable and everyone who see me wants to hold me … There are pictures of me when I was 2 or 3 years old and then there is a complete blank without any pictures till I was 14 or 15. May be my parents lost their camera in my childhood.

I have some memories of this time period in school and with my friends. I remember every friend I had during it. I remember how we use to play , how we use to chat with each other and how we use to spend the recess time during school.

I remember I use to make houses with dry mud ! I was expert in it back then. All my friends use to gather around me sitting in the mud with clean white uniforms and we had no fear of ‘how we look’ to the people back then. They use to gather accessories for the house I was making. Some leaves , some yellow fur like thing and some beads like things from the trees and some colorful wrappers ! Till then I make a pile of dry mud and through it , I use to make the first floor and plain it with my hands. So perfect like we plain the surface of Cake with cream while making it . Then the second floor and some times the third floor. Then comes the turn of accessories and I use to decorate it like I am doing a task that would change my life, so keenly. When it was done, my friends use to clap for me .

May be back then I had a thought embedded in my mind , of my future. May be back then I knew I won’t have a chance to make the home of my choice and decorate it . May be I knew I would be forced to live in a home that would be never a home for me. So I already fulfilled all my wishes for a home with mud and tree accessories !

I remember I was the best in every game we use to play . I ran faster than each of my friend and won every single race back then. We use to play doge-the-ball , hide-and-seek, catch-me and many other games and I always use to win. My friends use to fight with each other to become my partner in any game. I was the one they look up to when deciding what game we will play and for resolving the fights.

May be back then I knew I would lose at every single step in my real life. So I won everything already back then. I already felt the pleasure of winning. I never realized life is not a game. We can win games but even the best player loses in his life !

I had a special pattern regarding my studies. I noticed it when I was 15. I stood first in class for the first , second and third years. Then I was an average or you can say below average in fourth, fifth and sixth years. Then again I topped my class in the seventh , eighth and ninth years. Tenth year was a disaster ! It was the year I started getting spoiled . Followed by the first two years of college. Making again the three years. Now in university I have passed four years and they were remarkably good. I would never be able to understand this cycle related to my studies. I want to know though.

I Guess I need a psychiatrist. May be he could give me answers I want to know. But I know I would never be able to ask anyone .

Three weeks back when I was in my home and it was the last day there. I had to come back here in hostel the next day. I was laying down with all my family. My dad, mom, and the brothers. We were chatting and then my dad started recalling his past. The things I heard were shocking !

He told us that he always felt alone back then even with his parents and siblings around. He said there is a hollowness inside him that was never filled even by his daughter and sons and wife ! He said when he was 15 he felt this hollowness so much that he started saying that his parents are not real and he is adopted that is why he feels like this. When his parents , my grandfather asked him why he is saying all this. He said you should know the answer. You are my parents and you are behind everything I feel since the childhood. My mom then told me that my father had a diary that was filled till the end with poetry. All sad poetry with the same topics , loneliness and sadness.

Tears were falling down from my eyes and absorbing in the pillow as I was hearing this. But it was dark so no one could see them. I was shocked and hurt at the same time while knowing this. These were the same feelings all he described that I use to feel all my life. The same pattern. the same hollowness the same pain. He dared asking his parents why is he like this. I never had courage to ask them . I have seen Him the same close to Allah like I am. No one other can feel him the way I can. I can’t put it into words but his life seems to me same like mine.

I would never gather enough courage to ask him the same questions he asked his parents. I know how much he would be hurt , knowing that he had to give all the answers he searched for all his life. Knowing that his little girl has grown up, and she feels the same as he did all his life. I can feel his pain…

I kept thinking all night, Are feelings and emotions genetic ? Is pain genetic ? Are sufferings and the after effects of the sufferings genetic ? Is the way of thinking genetic ? Is it possible that the way my father use to fight with himself it was genetically passed on to me ?

I wondered and there was no answer. May be this condition has some name and it has been proved to be a genetic thing by science. May be not.

May be I am thinking too much.

Love Is Always The Same !

In every every form , In every shape
In every real relationship It take
In every passionate feeling’s name
LOVE is always the same !!

Whether it is Mom’s Caring Love….whether it is Dad’s affectionate Love…. Whether it is brother’s possessive Love…. whether it is sister’s friendly Love….Whether it is daughter’s or son’s sweetest Love….whether it is friends naughty and Lovely Love…….Love is BEAUTIFUL…….
Their is no life without Love !

I am going to Introduce you to two Loves of Mine today…..

First One Is  friends Love…….

A sweet girl who Loves to Dance …..

I would like to request her again to present something 😉

She Is energetic and passionate…funny….who is annoyed by the typical aunties 😛 …. Who is the greatest writer…… And a very nice friend and human being…. An enthusiastic youngster with a lot of ambitions……Meet her….. She is publicly known as VelaneDeBeaute and personally known as Ghalia !
I Wish You a very very HAPPY BIRTHDAY !

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All the sweet wishes and warm hugs…. And don’t worry this birthday would be awesome for you 😉 We are here for you …..

I Hope all these wishes make your day a memorable one !

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Second Love is The brother’s Love…..

A caring brother who understands me…care for me….Feel my pain…..Love me as a sister……
Who always give me awesome suggestions to solve my problems…
Who is always here to help me whenever I want to talk…..
Who has a lot of problems in life….A hectic life but He is strong…. Strong enough to defeat all the problems of his life….
Who is always ready to make everyone smile…..

Who has the most positive approach towards life……

Who is so Intelligent that he has to hide his intelligence with his mask….. 😉

Who is a real pure human being……..
I am blessed to have you brother Arindam Saha !

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On this ‘Rakhi’ , which is an event He celebrates for brother sister Love , He gave me some awesome and Intellectual ( Like him ) gifts !
He has a sweet Kachhua (Tortoise) Who made these gifts and Arindam delivered them to me 😉
Those were some Pictures of ‘Rangolis’ made in such an intelligent way. You can read details about this art here :

http://whenintrovertspeaks.wordpress.com/2012/10/06/a-thing-of-beauty-a-joy-forever/

Here are the Beautiful Pictures !

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And In addition to The pictures, He designed an Award for me too !

How generous of him 😉
This Award is made in the same way as these figures….
I am loving this Most Beautiful Award and I am not passing it on like the normal Awards because It is for me and only me……

Here is the Award , he call it the Golden Fern Award :

GoldenFern

I am honored to you you dear brother…… I , more than LOVED , all the gifts ! I have never received gifts even on my Birthdays before So you know this was a real Surprise ! Love You and Thank you !

In addition to these beautiful people , I have made a very sweet elder sister here too known as sakuraandme (Paula) and a very special friend known as Mani ( He talks too much and I am annoyed sometimes with his long debates but at the same time I love them too 😉 plus he has the worst sense of humor 😛 ) .

I would like to Thank some special people too here cabrogal , safia and KATiE MiA FredericK!iI who have been a real source of learning for me since now !

I want to Thank you all….. For All your Love and support….. And for giving me such valuable new relationships !
Now I have started making my own family here on Word press 😉
My Virtual Life is more attractive now then my real life 😉 I have never told people in my real life how I feel about them….. Here it is the opposite !

I can write pages on the gratitude I feel for having all these people but I don’t want to bore you 🙂

I VALUE you people and all my readers more than anything Now….. Stay with me Always !

The Fairy Tale Of My Life…..

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This time the sparkling transparent rain drops….. like the pearls on ocean……Have turned me to Rapunzel…..

Beautiful she was….with her long beautiful gleaming hair and big glowing eyes……

But she was a prisoner……She was allowed to see the beauty of the world through a window…but she can’t feel it…..She knew the world is not for her….

At the moment standing here in my window……Listening to the melody of heavy rain falling on plants and trees outside….feeling the chilly wind on my skin…..and looking at the vast beautiful world outside…… I feel like Rapunzel……

There is greenery everywhere…. Colorful flowers, green fresh grass, beautiful plants with shining leaves, chilled fresh breeze, blue sky and rain…….. The world is so beautiful…..

I want to dance…..in the water standing in grass…….I want to dance madly….

I want to spread my arms and look above closing my eyes…..I want to dance in rain……

I want to feel the breeze going through me….Making my soul fresh and clean……While the Rain drops take away all my dirt……

But I can just stand here and dream….. This beautiful world is so fancy….and yet so artificial to me….. Like a fairy tale….Of Rapunzel….

I can stare at happiness but I know it is not for me…..I can gaze at the beauty….but I know it does not belong to me……

I can’t just step forward and do what I dream of….I am a prisoner…..Like Rapunzel….

Is life so beautiful like the world….. Or this all is a fairy tale…. Soon the rain will stop and the world will get back to normal….with all its imperfections…..

Iqbal Says :

 “Destroy whatever does not suit you.

Create a new world out of your own self.

A free man feels unhappy.

To live in a world of others.”

Is it really possible…..Why thinking of this theory causes an inner happiness……A new world….Of my choice……Beautiful….

We should learn to live the moment to its best……But I am not able to learn it yet……Is life a mere continuity of breaths or something more ?

Rapunzel was a princess…..She was in a fairy tale…That is why she got her price and lived ‘Happily Ever After’…….

There is no Happily Ever After in real life……

She didn’t see her prince fading away with someone else in this beautiful world…….

She didn’t felt the ugliness of life…..I ceased to be in an eternal paradise like her….Where there is neither a pang of love, nor yearnings nor a sympathizer.

Fairy tales are ‘overrated’……We are what we experience…..I chose thorns instead of flowers…..Now I stand here and desperation to go out is justified…..

“You lack the lamentation of a nightingale

Because you are bereft of a burning soul in your body;

In the garden where plucking of flowers is not prohibited,

You have not wounded yourself by the pointed thorns.”

— Iqbal

I stand here and yet I am not here….I am dancing in the rain…..Hair flying freely with the wind…..Closed eyes thinking of Him…..I am His Co-worker…..And I sing…….

“Thou created the night, I the lamp;

Thou created the clay, I the vase !

Thou created the jungle, mountains and deserts,

I created gardens, orchards and flower plots!

It is I who make glass out of stone,

It is I who extract elixir out of poison.”

— Iqbal

And yet the journey begins…………The eternal search……Search of divine………..The conquest of time and space…….

We feel we will die when we are thirsty…..And yet we are indulged in other things when we get water….We don’t even remember our thirst could have killed us…… No one dies of thirst….. Death comes on time and according to His wish….. So Many things in this mortal world become our thirst that we have to die a thousand times before our death……

[In urdu]                               Meri Zindagi tou firaaq hai, woh azal se dil main makeen sahi

Wo nigah’e_shauq se door hain, rag’e_jaan se lakh qareen sahi

Hamein jaan dainee hai aik din, wo kisi tarah wo kahin sahi

Hamein aap khainchiye daar par, jo nahi koi tu hameen sahi

Sar_e_toor ho sar_e_hasher ho, hamein intizaar qubool hai

Wo kabhi milein, wo kahin milein, wo kabhi sahi, wo kahin sahi

Na ho un pe kuch mera bass nahi, k ye aashqi hai hawas nahi

Mai unhi ka tha, mai unhi ka hoon, wo mere nahi tu nahi sahi

Mujhe bhaithne ki jaga milay, meri aarzoo ka bharam rahay

Teri anjuman mein agar nahi,teri anjuman k qareen sahi

tera dar tau hum ko na mil saka, teri rahguzar ki zameen sahi

hamain sajda karne se kaam hai, jo wahan nahin tau yahin sahi

meri zindagi ka naseeb hai nahin door mujh se qareeb hai

mujhay uska ghum tau naseeb hai wo agar nahin tau nahin sahih

jo ho faisala wo sunaaiye usay hashr pe na uthaiye

jo karain gay app sitam wahan wo abhi sahi wo yehin sahi

Use dekhne ki jo low lagi tu Naseer dekh hi lain gey hum

Wo hazaar aankh se door ho, wo hazaar pardah nasheen sahi

— Naseer-ud-din Shah

My Life , A Pendulum !

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Touching the heights…..Changing state………Lowering to ground……changing state…….. Touching the heights……..My life is a pendulum !!

I am having some weird days…… It is like someone is forcing me to stay happy and I can’t absorb it……

I am being forced to stay and hang out with people who have the most worst Image of me in their minds and they hate me…….

I am being forced to enjoy the things which kill me inside when I think about the reason I am doing them…….

I am being forced not to cry by feeling the pain of cramps all over my body because I am made tired physically……

I am being forced not to think about the things which make me sad by making me busy in some abnormal tensions from study life……

I am being forced not to think continuously as I use to do by giving me severe headaches….

I am being forced to live with people who are not my fate by pushing people who are my fate, away from me……

I am being forced not to write by inserting words in my mind and not giving me time to write them down……

And I am not sure if I am being forced or I am the one doing them with my choice !!

I don’t want to be a pendulum anymore….. I want to move upward……Higher enough to reach Him……….

I am being forced to stop my journey…….. WHY ?

May be because this is another phase I have to go through……. I am missing the previous days….

I am missing my home……. My mind has not accepted the reality yet and it has started living in fantasies…..

I just need a shock….a collapse…a trauma…..a stroke…..a jolt…..another punch on my face !!

To see the reality again,…… I am already seeing my suffering in very near future….In 15 days or less….. And maybe that is why I am being forced to enjoy some moments……

I have learnt being a pendulum for so long….. People don’t have time to think about you…. Your death or absence effects you and only you…… You are a fool if you think you are important for someone…….

I know the truths and yet still I close my eyes for them…….

I am a fool….and I am having some weird days….. I know what life is going to give me and yet I am closing my eyes……..

I am a coward !!

I am sorry for being absent from here…..I told you I am having some weird days…..

My life is a pendulum and it is changing its state again…….

 

Please Look Into Your Spam Folders To Read My Comments !!!!

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No I am definitely not a spammer as you already know !

I am having a problem with my WordPress account . All the comments I am writing on all other blogs are going straight into the spam ! Just Imagine you write a long comment according to the post and on pressing the ‘Post Comment’ button, It vanishes into air ! I am experiencing it from three days now and I am really annoyed !

Please check out your spam folders and accept my comments , If you find any !

I contacted WordPress Forums and the Happiness Engineers told me to contact ‘Akismet’ As they are responsible for the spam thing in WordPress. I contacted them and I received one email from them yesterday saying me to fill a form and there is no response till then !

I mean Why ? I was feeling so happy and Homely here on WordPress and it was the best experience for me till this ! I was planning a post too to thank Word press for all this comfort and friendly atmosphere but I won’t write any post now !

I am furious and I am annoyed and I am thinking of Leaving Word Press now ! Comments is the most important way of interacting with the readers and because of ‘Akismet’s’ mistake, I am unable to do it !

If anyone of you know a better solution please tell me !

Thanks.

Happy Birth Day Pakistan , You Will Live Forever InshAllah !

Note : This post is meant for Muslims and Pakistanis and Based on my thoughts. No one is forced to agree with me . Anyone who feel offended through this could stop reading at any point. I apologize already if I hurt your feelings through this !

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A heart full of Love for my country and a mind full of thoughts about Pakistan and Muslims…This is what I am today !

It is the 67th birthday of Pakistan today…. The same Pakistan which was made with a lot of efforts and martyrs by our ancestors. The same Pakistan which was made on the name of Islam and the same Pakistan where we can not see any true Islamic practice nationally. I am not in a mood of giving a long lecture on how Pakistan was made by all the efforts and How we are not doing what we were supposed to do and what should we do. I guess every Pakistani knows his duties in his heart.

I want to share some logic and some predictions with you today. If we look back, Muslims have the most major contributions in Mathematics, Science, Philosophy, Geology,  astronomy, geography , Literature and arts and their rules and formulas are still in use now-a-days. Examples of Muslims rulers for bravery and Justice are still given.

And then there is Today when The same Muslim are called as “Terrorists” ! Muslims are considered to be the most un-educated and ill-mannered people of the world. Muslim countries are continuously under control Of Western Countries and they are implementing the rules they want in Muslim countries. What happened to Muslims ? Islam can not be the reason. Islam was the same long long time ago when Muslims were prospering.

There are bundles of columns and articles filled on conditions of Muslims and the reasons and everything. I would like you to see it with my perspective. Let us talk about some Interesting Facts.

Some Interesting Spiritual Facts About Pakistan :

  1. No country was made after that many Martyrs , as Pakistan faced.
  2. Pakistan came into being on the Shab-e-Qadar “The night Of Blessings”  , On 27th Ramadan.
  3. In 1930’s when Quaid-e-Azam once decided to leave politics and he was persuaded by Allama Iqbal, He shared a secret with some of his very critical friends. He said that Hazrat Muhammad (S.A.W) came to meet him and ordered him to return back to sub-continent as he has to complete his spiritually assigned task.
  4. Sufi Barkat Ali , a well known saint, said “Listen O’ people a day will come when UNO will ask Pakistan before taking any step , whatsoever, I may not remain alive till that time, but if it doesn’t happen, then come and spit on my grave
  5. Many Muslim Scholars, Faqeers and Saints like Allama Shabbir Ahmed Usmani , Atiya Bibi , Qudratullah Shahab, Naimatullah shah Wali, Ashfaq Ahmed and many more described the detailed Spiritual Importance of Pakistan. Many of them Saw Hazrat Muhammad (S.A.W) in their dreams saying something about Pakistan.
  6. Many spiritual Aspects of the 1965 war have been described Spiritually Like the sight of Cavaliers dressed in white dresses , a letter by ‘Madina’ people about sighting of Hazrat Muhammad (S.A.W) saying he is going to fight for Pakistan, many bombs detonation, sighting of one bridge into six by an Indian Soldier and etc.

You can Read full details on these links.

http://pakistannislam.blogspot.com/2013/01/spiritual-pakistan.html#.UgkQQNKTRMg

http://pakistancyberforce.blogspot.com/2011/09/spiritual-importance-of-pakistan-past.html

With all these points in mind, Can you say Pakistan has no importance and all these proofs are just coincidences ? No , I don’t think so. Pakistan was made for a special purpose and that special purpose has yet to be served, in near future.

Let us discuss that Purpose now.

Some Islamic Predictions About Signs Of Qayamat (The day Of Judgment) :

1-Some of you (people) would fight with Hindus and Allah would give them (Muslims) Success ”  –Kanz-ul-aemaal, Hadees # 39719.

2- Hazrat Muhammad (S.A.W) said ,  Dajjal won’t come out till people don’t forget him , even the people at mosques stop saying anything about him.

3-Many Sufi Saints and Faqeers have predicted the success of Muslims in the Fight of Hind.

Now according to the recent column of Orya Maqbool Jan , A renowned writer , Sufi and spiritual person, Hindus have given out the dates of the year 2013 for this fight to be started. They say they won’t be succeeded, if they don’t fight now, for about hundred years. And according to Islamic predictions , in this fight Muslims would succeed and Pakistan would  be considered as the leader of Muslim nations. According to Hindus, a person they call as “Mahaarashi” is hiding in the mountains and he will come out with 70,000 Jews. The same was predicted back then, about the “Dajjal Fitna

You can read the whole Article of Oriya Maqbool Jan here : http://oryamaqbooljan.com/columns/jung-ka-mahorat-orya-maqbool-jan

The thing I am going to state now is Pure my thoughts and a voice from my heart or you can say my instincts or sixth sense.

I feel that the preparations for this ‘Ghazwa-e-Hind’ would start now in the year 2013 and The fight would start when Imran Khan would be the leader of Pakistan! After this 5 years period of Nawaz Shareef , I think Imran Khan would be the President and then this fight would happen and Pakistan would have a success InshAllah !

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This is not written anywhere, It is just what I feel.

So After such important proofs, I don’t think the Dream of America, that Pakistan would no longer be in the maps of world , seems to be right !

I am not a scholar or anything, I just share what I believe and you are not forced to agree with my views here !

By stating all this information about fights I am not showing that I want people to fight. I love peace and So do Pakistan. Islam never wants fight, ever. Even in Islam killing one innocent is the same as killing the entire nation ! It is strictly forbidden. I was just recalling the things said by the Great people and was just telling my thoughts that I feel , this is the time.

At the last I would just say, Pakistan , you have given me everything and I am Thankful to you, To the sacrifices of our Ancestors ! May Allah give Pakistan a strength to Perform the task for which it was made 66 years ago and predicted by Hazoor Pak (S.AW) thousand years ago !

I Love you Pakistan and You will live Forever InshAllah !

Ameen !

Happy Independence Day  To All Pakistanis !

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I am A Beggar !

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Sadness In Eyes !

Rain is a pleasant thing for people, In fact for me too ! A blessing and a much awaited blessing specially In our Areas.

Then what is the reason that after rain, everything seems so silent, so still and so sad ?

May be because people says there is sadness after every happiness and happiness after every sadness. I feel happy when it rains that is why I feel sad after it ? Don’t make much sense to me.

And weird sad things happen to me when it rains. This is weird ! May be because I feel sad from inside, I see only the sad side of things ! Yes after all I intend to be sad. Sadness gives me peace, to my mind and to my soul.

Same sadness that you see in eyes of a child who had nothing to eat all day and he keeps begging and get nothing but criticism and castigation. The same sadness that you see in the eyes of a Mother of 12 or more children or an ill husband waiting at home for the money she earns through begging . The same sadness that you feel on the face of a father who can not find a job and at the end of the day, starts begging because he don’t want to go empty handed in his house where many eyes are waiting for him. For him or for food ? No one knows.

Sadness may have many reasons but it has one face. The deep intense feeling when meets with silence, stillness and a somber sigh and appears in the form of a dim light in eyes, makes the face of sadness.

While having a drive with my family today , Instead of watching the happiness in their eyes I was busy in noticing the sadness in eyes of people outside. Whenever our car stops at a food place, Many poor children and women come rushing towards it. And If anyone of us give anything to one beggar, they all keep standing there without moving and keep asking !

Yes I can understand the irritation caused to my parents by this. But sometimes I can’t understand. Each time they say them to get away my hearts misses a beat. My mood swings to the sad one !

I tried to Imagine myself on their place today. Dirty hair, Ragged Filthy clothes , Bare feet and hands wide open , joined together ! Mouth saying words which I could never say in front of people and belly carving for food. Head heavy with the weakness. Shameful bent-down eyes and sadness……..

The feeling while watching other people sitting in cars, eating delicious food , wearing colorful clothes and talking with each other, Happy faces !

The feeling every time I spread out my hands to beg and every time I  was rejected with a sentence, a single word, a hand saying to move forward or just a finger or sometimes a mere movement of an eye-brow !

The feeling of rejection….. As If someone kicks on my face and move forward by putting a step over my corpse !

The feeling when people see me with greed, hunger, lust and dirt in eyes. Their eyes going through my body and tearing me apart. Their shameless smiles and cheap signs.

The feeling of embarrassment and humiliation…..I feel like the ground tears up and I jump inside hiding there forever !

My brother offered me an Ice-cream which I rejected to eat. I wasn’t able to tell him I am already eating one, Of ‘Reality’ ! It tastes ‘bitter’ !

I was trying to hide my tears from all of them so I closed my eyes . From the reality, From that horrible picture of me and from more people like I imagined myself and wasn’t even able to bear that mere imagination !

Why is reality always so tough ?

People with one leg or arm broken , blind , deaf, or diseased were still moving outside, begging ! And we think only we are ‘Humans‘ !!

A song in the voice of ‘Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan‘ was playing in the car……

ko’ii to hai jo nizaam-e-hastii chalaa rahaa hai
vohii Khudaa hai, vohii Khudaa hai, vohii Khudaa hai
dikha’ii bhii jo na de nazar bhii jo aa rahaa hai
vohii Khudaa hai, vohii Khudaa hai, vohii Khudaa hai

(Someone is there who is managing the order of life
He is God, He is God, He is God
He is invisible still He can be seen
He is God, He is God, He is God)

nazar bhii rakhe sama’ateN bhii, vo jaan letaa hai niyyateN bhii
jo Khaana-e-laa-shauur meN jagmagaa rahaa hai, vohii Khudaa hai
vohii Khudaa hai, vohii Khudaa hai, vohii Khudaa hai

(He keep eyes and ears too, He knows even the intentions
The one who is illuminated in our subconscious minds
He is God, He is God, He is God)

talaash us ko na kar butoN meN, vo hai badaltii hu’ii rutoN meN
jo din ko raat aur raat ko din banaa rahaa hai, vohii Khudaa hai
vohii Khudaa hai, vohii Khudaa hai, vohii Khudaa hai

(Do not search for Him in the idols, He is in the changing seasons
The one who is changing day to night and night to day
He is God, He is God, He is God)

And My search For Allah continues……..Along with the words of the song. Would I be able to get Allah if I become a beggar one day, In front of people ? Would that pain be enough to led me to you ?

You say you don’t see the filthiness of body. You see the heart, the soul. Then why we make our hearts and souls filthy and our bodies decorated and clean ?

I don’t have the answers. I want to experience the answers. I am a beggar, I beg you ! I beg you and only you I spread my hands only In front of you. Lead me towards yourself ! Aye Allah…………………….

That Scary Day When They All Were Killed Brutally………! ;)

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They were all horrified and scared….Of the future !

Every body seems to be in a hurry. They were building underground camps and vast food storage places. They were building shields to protect themselves. Every body was working hard even women and children were up and working like men. Meetings were being held in the Assemblies and on the top levels and every body was in search of better plans to fight. They were collecting related weapons. A great hustle could be seen among them.

With the effort of a few days , abundant food for almost a month was stored in the food storage places and all of the people were moved in the underground camps. There were few soldiers who were on duty outside the camps in case of any emergency. The high level authorities were encouraging their people , cheering them up and upraising them to stop worrying and wish for all the best. But every one knew in his heart, something bad is going to happen soon………….!

They still remember the day when it started raining suddenly, but they were astonished to see that the color of rain was black and it was not liquid, it was powder. That powder was so dangerous. The powder made people unconscious as it touched them. Some were killed too because of staying unconscious for too long. It started raining for 5 mins and these five minutes were like hell to them. Their loved ones were effected badly and many of them were died. One fourth of their total population was lost. They were crying on their losses . High authorities were pressurized for not having strong enough defense system .

Everything was improved after that horrible day to stay safe from any future rain of this type.

Then It started raining again one day, But the color of powder was white this time. It was not as powerful as the black one but it effected the people badly too. People were anyhow satisfied that their preparations are enough now to fight against it. They were considering themselves safe.

Then there was that black scary day when it started raining at the morning and it was water this time, But the temperature of water was extreme high. It was boiling. It burnt everyone it touched. People were running here and there to protect themselves but there was no way. They were watching their loved ones die in front of their eyes but they couldn’t do anything. They were striving to save their lives. Half of their population was dead due to this rain.

It was after this rain , they made all these preparations. According to the high authorities they were all safe now and there wasn’t any chance of getting anyone hurt again. They were satisfied by their defense System and preparations. Two weeks were passed peacefully when this dreadful day came………..

The morning was a bit red that day. They were hearing some rush and noises , their was no peace like the other mornings. Their hearts were drumming in their ears while they were praying for their safety. But it looks like their prayers were not accepted…..

A splash of Boiling water came and it started raining heavily again. The pressure of water was much more this time and the temperature was much more higher than the previous time. It was coming with a very high speed and intensity. People rushed towards their camps . The water killed all the people who were out on the streets and then it started destroying their storage areas and flowing towards their camps. They were considering themselves safe inside the camps but soon they realized they were wrong. The flow of water was so thick and fast that it ruined everything coming in its way either it is the strong defense system or the underground camps. Soon all people inside the camps were also killed.

It kept raining for almost half an hour and in this time their entire civilization was wiped off that area. Their were dead corpses all over the streets floating in water. Their broken legs and heads were gliding in water. Without any sign of life, this place looks like a graveyard now….

Death is an ultimate truth…..

The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.

-Mark Twain

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Mr and Mrs. Ali were standing in their backyard in front of their back door where there were some signs of struggle . Two big jugs were laying right beside Mr. Ali and they both were looking at a big area which looks like a mixture of mud and water now with tiny holes .

I guess this water thing worked this time” ! said Mr. Ali.

Yes, I think so too. Last time when I told you the trick I was sure it would work but you did it the wrong way” , said Mrs. Ali in a sarcastic tone.

Mr. Ali’s face turned red but he was the ‘husband’ here so you know……. He had no right to say anything .

Yes, darling you are always right” He said with one eye brow going upstairs….and the lips contracted.

The black and white powders didn’t work well though the shopkeeper was sure enough it will work” He added.

Yes you never do anything right” It was Mrs. Ali , as usual.

Any way I am sure the ants would never come here again. They use to eat all the left over food from our kitchen and they use to climb our beds and tables too in search of food. Even they use to bite us too. I am sure they have learnt their lesson ! ” said Mr. Ali

And Mrs. Ali smiled at him…….

They looked at the bright fearless morning together while Mr. Ali’s hand was going towards Mrs. Ali’s arm to pinch it hard with his nails…… He was feeling bored without listening to the special morning occasion: Showering of bad words and curses out of his wife’s mouth…….

I Got Ya ! ;)

I Got Ya ! 😉

THE END

Be Slow To Criticize And Fast To Appreciate !

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Take two glasses of water. Put them in separate rooms on a table and turn the lights of both rooms off. Now go to first room, sit down in front of one glass, take your face close to it and start admiring it. Say beautiful words about it, appreciate its beauty and be as nice and as positive to it as you can. Now go in the second room, sit down in front of the glass, take your face close to it and start saying bad words. Taunts, criticism, sarcasm, bitterness, anything. Say out all your negative thoughts. Repeat this activity for a whole month. When you will turn on the lights you will see the following results. The water in the glass to which you said all the good and positive things has turned more white and it shines. While the water in the glass to which you said all the bad and negative words has turned black !

No, I didn’t do it myself. I read this in a news paper written by some very famous writer , I don’t remember the name now. I was just shocked to read the effect of words . Let me quote anther story I heard in a movie.

A long time ago there was a jungle in which people use to live. They didn’t have proper instruments to cut the trees. What they used to do for abolishing trees was a very interesting phenomena. They all gather around the tree and say all the bad words and negative thoughts about the tree. Slowly the tree starts withering and its stem and branches starts contracting. They do this activity for a specific period of time and at last the innocent tree withers and decays to ground.

Obviously I haven’t seen them doing it. But the thing is, these kind of tales mostly have truth in them. There is some solid concept on the basis of which thee tales are made.

You know in our society we are in a habit of criticizing rather than appreciating. It all starts as the child starts his school. If he plays more and study less, parents criticize all the time. shout on the children and say them bad for not studying all the time. If he can’t get good grades Parents as well as other family member keep on criticizing Like see we never saw him studying he was always playing that is why he got this grade and stuff. This all continues till college. If a child do some mistake, instead of trying to know the cause what forced him to do this, people criticize. We never see what is the effect of our criticism on that innocent child. Rather he becomes stubborn and tough and never listens to his parents again or he becomes extra sensitive and every word from parents hurts him and he becomes quiet and the light from his eyes is vanished. Either ways, the child is destroyed. The energy the passion inside him dies and as a result t becomes a weak personality. Same happens with the people doing jobs and Mothers who stays at home , cooks and bring their children up.

The only people who can admire us with all heart are our parents. They don’t understand this fact. People always look towards you as if the second you make a mistake, they catch it and start blabbering about it. They never admire you and appreciate you as I have seen in my society. Parents do it, but they are scared if they admire their children they will take everything easy .I don’t agree with this. A single word of appreciation from the loved ones gives you enough courage to face the whole world. You start feeling all the energy inside you.

The same happens to me. Every time someone appreciates me for anything, I start doing it with more enthusiasm and power. And the point someone criticizes me I lose all the energy and I don’t want to do that thing anymore. Every single word of criticism from my  parents cut me inside and every time I do something big and they don’t even know it, I become more sensitive and teary. Their is a middle stage too when you are working so hard and when you take your hard work to the respected people, you don’t get any appreciation . Instead the people with you who don’t even know the abc of work, get all the appreciation you deserved. Why ? because they know how to show off and you just know how to work. This stage is more worse !

Of course constructive criticism is always good. But it should be done only when needed truly.

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I once studied in a book that every person has a magnetic field around him and every human emits vibrations from his body. Science proves that the point of emission of these vibrations is the center of our forehead between the two eyes. Some people also call it as ‘sixth sense’ . The background of this theory is that every human body has current in it which is of 0.5 watt. Due to this current and charge , a magnetic field is formed around the body. And through this magnetic field magnetic vibrations are emitted.

When we meet a person whose vibrations are favorable and compatible with our vibrations , we are attracted towards that person. We feel attraction in him. The vibrations of some humans are neutral. Vibrations of some people are not compatible with the vibrations of our body and we run away from them. You know sometimes we feel attraction towards a person we don’t know or we don’t ever have talked to him. This is all due to the favorable vibrations. Likewise, we sometimes start disliking a person with out any reason. This is because of the unfavorable ones.

I believe this is the scientific proof of why appreciation and criticism has that intense effect on everything. When we appreciate someone, our positive vibrations are transferred to that person and as a result that person feels more energetic. In the same way with criticism we transfer our negative vibrations to the person and as a result all his energy and light is soaked out and he starts feeling empty and weak.

I wish all the parents and people outside who don’t leave any chance of criticizing anyone, know this ! We can boost up our youth just by some words of appreciation and we will see the results would be enormous. Be slow to criticize and fast to appreciate !

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Abstract Speculation Of A Rainy Day

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Today is  Juma-Tul-Wida (The last Friday of Ramadan Kareem).

The dawn was as hot as the rest of the days of Ramadan passed. Everyone was dying of hotness and clouds use to come daily and left without showering. Fasting in this kind of hotness is hard, very hard. But our Lord says He can’t put burden on us more than we can handle.

As I came out in the noon I saw black clouds on the sky and finally it started raining ! Everyone in my family is so happy right now . I can feel their happiness as their faces look like blooming flowers. Why are Fridays always so lucky ? I said to myself. I went into the rain feeling its cold refreshing drops falling all over me. It felt cold and pleasant. I put a chair right in the middle of the open patio of my house, beside green leaves of a tree and lie on it feeling the rain going into my soul through every pore of my body. I relax here with closed eyes feeling the pleasure of getting my heart washed. I see my family happy around me. Laughing, talking, gossiping and joking, beautiful faces . My dad is sitting right beside me. I felt peace. Real peace . No worries, no problems to think about and nothing to get tensed. Peace, serenity, lull and happiness.

After a while my mind has started doing its ‘endeavor‘. It never stops thinking and I get tired of it sometimes. S[specially at long nights when I want to sleep and couldn’t just because of my mind, awake and thinking. I wonder how it stopped just before this moment when everything was feeling so good and refreshing and Life seems so easy and peaceful.

I caught up a thought about my family and then all the news I heard before on Tv and from people started echoing in my brain. I thought at this very moment when I am sitting peacefully here there would be many atrocious things happening in some part of the world. There may be an innocent child dying in some corner of the world by barbarous people. There may be a drone attack and many innocent people may have been killed in it. There may be a suicide bomber exploding himself , taking lives of many innocent people including him. A father may have been killed by a shot from unknown bike riders in some part of my country. There may be a father killing his own family members or a brother killing his own sisters. There may be a girl being killed at some part of world after getting kidnapped.

There would be a mother, a father crying on death of their angelic children. A brother crying on the death of his sister. Small kids crying on the death of their father. There would be pain in many people’s heart right now. There would be fear in many eyes, the fear of future. There would be restlessness, agony, distress, hurt and terror dancing in the eyes of  some modest simple people.

Thinking of this, this rain water don’t seem refreshing to me anymore. I am feeling like I am dipping my feet in the blood of these people. I feel like the blood of these people is falling right now on me and I am drenched in their blood. I took out my hand and tried to feel the rain drops. They were not rain drops anymore…..

We hear about deaths of people and killings of innocent everyday. On the news in Tv , on some radio channel , on internet or through different people we meet. We hear the news , feel some pain in our heart for the moment , say some words about their loss to show we are sad and then start living our normal life again. We don’t even remember what we heard lately . Why ? Is it really a fact that our blood has turned white? ……Or is this the coldness that is spreading all over inside our hearts with time?

But what if we feel the pain in heart…..what can we do ? What can we do to stop these killings. What can we do to ease the pain of people that were attached to the killed ones? What can we do for the innocent kids left behind all alone ? We are so engaged in our own lives. We are becoming doctors and engineers . We are busy in doing our full time jobs. We are busy in taking care of our kids and raising them. Our lives are so busy we can’t even have time for fulfilling our social responsibilities. Then how can we go far away to the place where these things happen , leaving our life and family far behind and try to help them ? Can we sacrifice our lives for their lives ? Are we brave enough ? I am not…

Then what is our responsibility ? Why do I feel so much pain in my heart when I hear these kind of news and I feel my hands tied?  I feel myself obstruct and powerless . Why can’t I do anything for them? I want to stop all this. I want to ease the pain of people getting suffered. I want to be their voice. But why can’t I move , why do i feel my self tied up hard…………What can I do ?

For what reason did our beloved Messenger said

He who among-st you sees something abominable should modify it with the help of his hand; and if he has not strength enough to do that, then he should do it with his tongue; and if he has not strength enough to do even that, then he should (at least abhor it) from his heart; and that is the least of faith.”

We should act upon this . Shouldn’t we ? Then why do we show like we don’t care about other people. Some of us even don’t abhor the evil doings in our hearts. We care only when something like this happens to our own family. Why are we not able to feel the pain of other people ?

I open my eyes and took a glimpse of my family. I stare at each of their faces and I feel my heart would burst out with pain. I couldn’t even think of anything like that happening to them. I can’t think of losing anyone of them. What would be the feelings of the people who had to face this hell on earth ?

Tears have started coming out of my eyes. But I am lucky, it is raining right now. It will hide my tears from the people I love and I care about. Charlie Chaplin was a really funny man, he tried to make everyone laugh with his actions but his quote about rain always make me realize he was not what everyone assumed him. He said it right.

“I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying.”

I close my eyes again and here I lay thinking and in-questing myself…..all these questions sway in my mind and I try to figure out answers of each. Do you know the answers ?

An Insight Of “Love”

The Lamps are different, but the Light is the same.

The Lamps are different,
but the Light is the same.

The real beloved is that one who is unique, who is your beginning and your end. When you find that one, you’ll no longer expect anything else.

There was a man living at a far away place. He had no one with him except a donkey who was everything to him and he use to spend all his time with it. He once went to a pious man living in his area.The pious man was sitting in a hut with a small door. The man stood outside the door and started a conversation with him.

Man: “I Love my donkey so much !”

Pious Man: “Ok , Come in !”

As the man entered the room, The pious man said ” You don’t Love your donkey enough ! Go back and spend more time with him”. The man was amazed to hear this. He went back and took care of his donkey more. He spend years and years with him. Then he came back to the Pious man again.

Man: “I love my donkey and this time I am sure about it !”

Pious Man: “Ok , Come in !”

As the man entered the room,

The pious man said ” You don’t Love your donkey enough ! Go back and spend more time with him” . The man was amazed again ! But he went back because he knew the pious man speaks nothing but truth. He spend many more years with his donkey taking care of him. Then he came back again !

Man: “I am in love with my donkey !”

Pious Man: “Ok , Come in !”

The Man didn’t come in.

He said ” My ears are so big and I won’t be able to fit in this small hut with my big body ! ”

The pious Man said ” Yes, Now I believe you ”

This state of Love when You start thinking you are like the one you love, is called as “Ishq” . People who don’t know Urdu, can call it “Extreme Love ” . This is a state where wisdom is left behind, all that is there is True Love. Where one don’t question “Why” . He just remember saying “Yes” .

There is a story in our History,  when a person was involved in Loving Allah so much that Once he started saying “An-al-Haq” Meaning “I am God !’ . When people listened to him they started beating and cursing him that he is calling himself  God. Later on, this theory was explained by some Sufi’s. They say that man was so much In Love with the creator that he started thinking that he is like the one he loves…..He is a part of the one he Loves….He is his Love !

At a distance you only see my light;
come closer and know that I am you !  –Rumi

Is this pure Love worth comparing to the so called love of today ? When a boy loves a girl one day, and the next day he starts loving the next ! When people calls talking on phone and dating as Love . When relationships are the means of love. No relationship , no love ! When people love each other for their own means. When one fight erases love from heart. Is this Love ? NO.

People characterize the stages of reaching “Extreme Love” or “Ishq” as :

1-First stage is of “likeness”. When we like someone’s knowledge, wisdom, way of talking, habits, manners or something then we like to meet them more often. When we meet them more often, this likeness start converting to “adoration” . We want to meet them more and talk to them more.

2- Then comes the stage of “infatuation”. When we feel we can’t live without this person. But when that person goes away from us and we find someone else in that duration we sometimes go close to the second person.

3-The step next to “infatuation” is “love”. This is the extent of likeness and infatuation. When we reach that stage we are so much involved in the person. We want to fulfill his every wish and we feel happy doing it. Every word coming out of his mouth is the last word for us . We can do anything for that person.

4- Then comes the stage of “Ishq” that is the extent of Love. When we lose the sense of thinking and all that we see is our love. where there is no “why” there is just “yes” . Where wisdom is astonished and left far behind.

Love is the feeling that forced “Ibrahim” to jump in fire without questioning His God “why” ? And His God didn’t fail him either. He turned the fire cold. Miracles do happen in Love !

Baykhatar kood para aatish-e-namrood main Ishq

Aqal hai mehw-e-tamasha-e-lab-e-baam abhi

Shewa-e-Ishq hai Azadi-o-deher aashubi

Tu hai zannari-e-bu’t khana-e-ayyam abhi    

-Iqbal

(Meanings: Baykhatar = Fearlessly; Kood para = Jumped in; Aatish-e-Namrood = Referring to fire of Namrood in which, prophet Abraham (PBUH) was thrown; Ishq = Referring to strong Faith and devotion of Prophet Abraham (PBUH); Aqal = Wisdom; Mehw-e-tamasha-e-lab-e-baam = Stunned/shocked/in state of disbelief; Shewa-e-Ishq = Strong Faith; Azadi = Freedom; Deher Aashubi = To get rid of slavery; Zannari-e-bu’t khana-e-ayyam = Under influence of idol worshipers)

Some wise people say that we reach the Creator by three means:

1-will

2-knowledge

3-love

There are 10 % chances in will and 90% chances in knowledge that we will go towards the wrong path while searching the Creator. But with love, there are no chances to get lost. Love is a thing that can’t be explained but can only be experienced. And once experienced, nothing is left after it.

O Lord! Was it the cloud of mercy or the thunderbolt of Love When the life’s crop got burned down, sprouted the seed of the Heart  –Rumi

In a human body, heart is present on one side of the chest and “wishes” or “cravings” which are called as “Nafs” In our language, is on the other side of heart. In the center of our heart, in a very deep place is where our soul resides. And in the depth of our “Nafs” , Evil resides. The thing is to fight with the “Nafs” and it leads us towards the True Love , “Ishq” !

There were many Pious persons and Sufis , whose destiny was to reach God. Because of the worldly demands and weaknesses they couldn’t reach there. So the creator engaged them in the “love of man”. When they return empty handed from it and they were hurt because of it, The creator took them, holding their hands, towards him. And they succeeded in achieving the greatest levels.

It changes the heap of earth into elixir

Such is the power of the ashes of the Heart

It gains freedom after being caught in the net of Love

On being thunder-struck greens up the tree of the Heart

Iqbal

Closing it with an English translation of a poem by Allama Iqbal, My favorite Poet. He was at a very upper level of Sufism and we need a lot of insight to reach to the true meanings hidden in his words.

One day reason said to the Heart:

I am a guide for those who are lost.
I live on the earth, but I roam the skies
Just see the vastness of my reach.
My task in the world is to guide and lead,
I am like Khizar of blessed steps.
I interpret the book of life,
And through me Divine Glory shines forth!
You are no more than a drop of blood,
While I am the envy of the priceless pearl !!

The Heart listened, and then said: This is all true,

But now look at me, and see what I am!!!
You penetrate the secret of existence,
But I see it with my eyes!!!
You deal with the outward aspects of things
I know what lies within!!! (The outward pertains to the phenomenal world, the inward to matters of the Heart and soul)
Knowledge comes from You, intuitive knowledge of spiritual truth from me!!!
You seek GOD, I reveal HIM!
Attaining the ultimate in knowledge makes one restless –
I am the cure for that ailment!!!
You are the candle of the Assembly of Truth;
I am the lamp of the Assembly of Beauty!!!
You are hampered by space and time,
While I am the “bird in the Lotus tree” (Taaeyr-e-Sidraa)
My status is so high –
I am the throne of the Majesty of GOD (According to sufistic saying, the world is too small a place to house GOD, but a believer’s Heart is large enough to house Him)

“Wishes And Sufferings”

"Wishes"

“Wishes”

Watching a television show in the morning while eating for starting my fast, I hear some very good discussion between some scholars. It has engaged me into thinking . With the TV remote in my hand, I dive into my past and go far away. The discussion was about wishes and suffering. Its theme was something like this:

Buddhism is a religion indigenous to the Indian subcontinent based on Buddha’s teachings who was an enlightened teacher as known by the men of that time when he was alive. He spend his whole life searching for the root cause for pain and sufferings of human beings. He produced a theory in which he said that the root cause of human suffering is “wishes” . If human can eliminate wishes from his life, He would never feel pain or suffer again. He used to call attainment of the cessation of all suffering as the sublime state of “Nirvana” .

Hazrat Muhammad (P.B.U.H) who is the last messenger of Islam said something same about this theory. He (P.B.U.H) said us to refrain from bad wishes and adopt the good wishes.

I couldn’t agree more with these thoughts. I have started relating my life with these theories. I am rambling into my elapsed years. A flash back has occupied my mind.

I was a girl full of wishes since my childhood. When I was a small kid, I used to wish for the same house as I read in the story “Hansel and Gretel” . They found a house which was made of chocolate and its doors were of candies and toffees. I used to read that story everyday and then I use to dream for that chocolate house. I wished I would be eating chocolate bars from that house and I would never get caught by the witch living there .

Then when I grew up some more, I use to wish for the “Magic Pencil” , From a TV drama in which there was a kid who had a magic pencil and everything he draw with that pencil, becomes real. I use to see him carefully while drawing and the I use to practice drawing for the things I wanted in my life. Some times, lying down before sleeping I use to make stories in my mind about what will I do when I get the pencil. I enjoyed doing that. Back then I didn’t have a sense whether these wishes can be fulfilled ever or not. I never thought about what will happen if they don’t come true. I just wished and wished and I found fun in doing that.

I smile while these thoughts fill my mind . I love recalling my childhood. Childhood is about innocence and playfulness. It is about joy and freedom. I wonder how innocent children are. Without worrying about the future they know how to live in present and how to cherish every moment they have. They never think about the results, they just wish . They don’t wish about things that could become true but they find wishing pleasant so they wish. Wishing makes them happy and they know how to stay happy. Every one wishes to go back into their childhood for the same reason.

As I stepped out of my childhood towards my teenage, My wishes started changing. I started wishing about some real things. I had a wish of going to every country of the world back then. Then I started wishing some more realistically. I wished I get married to a person with a Government job so that when he gets transferred after some months I could visit many cities of my country. I was scared of living at the same place for a long time . I wished for getting good grades and first position in my class. Then I started wishing for looking cuter than my friends. I started wishing for lovely clothes and shoes.

Then there was a time span I never want to think about. It gives me goosebumps ! I should leave it untouched. It scares me. It is the most embarrassing part of my life I never want to reveal to anyone. I guess we all have some secrets hidden deep down in us which we don’t want to reveal to anyone.

And…..now there is this present time. When My wishes have took a complete new meaning. One of my wish eradicated all my other wishes at a time. That one wish produced complete new set of wishes another time. When I think about my wishes at present, I sometimes find myself stupid enough. I had the strangest wishes ever now. I know some of my wishes can never become true but I still wish for them . I know some of my wishes are the hardest, but I still wish for them. I have got rid of the wishes of “Things” completely. But still I have some extraordinary wishes. Some superstitious wishes. I never tell anyone about my wishes. I know they would judge me. I don’t wish like normal people anymore.

I ask myself. Is getting rid of wishes so easy ? Is it possible to reach to the state of “nirvana” ? If not , what was the logic behind this theory ? Is it really possible to get rid of all the suffering and pain? I don’t know. I want to know the way to do this if it really exist !

I have read, wishes are a part of human nature. It is in human blood that he wishes. How would be life like, without wishes ? I ask to myself.

I can understand the other theory though. Wishes can be distinguished into categories. Good wishes and bad wishes. It is good to wish for good things and bad to wish for bad things. But what is the scale for measuring the goodness and badness of wishes ? I guess that is the scale our religion gives us. We can take help from the teachings of our Religion about how to distinguish our wishes. I like this thought. I am distinguishing my wishes now in my mind. What are the wishes bad for me ? And what are the good ones?

This brings me peace somehow. I have passed a big part of my life in pain and suffering over small things. I knew I was emotional and touchy. I knew I expected a lot. I knew I dream t and wished a lot but I never figured out clearly that all my pain was due to these things. Everyone in this world want to get rid of pain and sufferings. But we have to sacrifice our wishes in return. It is a hard deal to do !

And now when I have figured out, What would be the next step ? Is it possible to get rid of your greatest desires so easily ? Is it that easy ? No…I guess ! Not for me.

But I have the code now. I will try. I will try to wish good all the time. I will try to load my “bad wishes” with the good ones, at least, if I won’t be able to erase them. Trying again and again is the only thing I can do ! Hope of getting rid of my pains is all I have. I once read “Dreams are more real than reality itself, they’re closer to the self” .

I get up as the time for eating is over. Starting my new fast with a new concept in mind,  I hope I figure out the ways soon !

 

An Unsorted Unresolved Depress Mind’s Thought On Life……..

question-mark2

Life…..

………..Starts with a white clean paper. Some words emerge on it. Words which are imperative and which needs to be mastered. As the paper start getting filled with words, The purity and cleanliness starts dissipating. The paper starts stuffing with blotches and eruptions. Marks and stains are dispersed over it. Word by word, a full story behind exclusive words. After a while, the paper looks destroyed and damaged. Words are arduous to read because of more blemishes. The blotches, words and torn ups can never be undone. They are not erasable. After a moment, the paper start tearing apart from places and at last, whole paper is turned into small pieces. This is where it ends.

One paragraph, 6 lines , 120 words , 650 letters ! 

And Life Ends…….!!

Happenings , stories, pain, happiness, sadness, tears, suffering, joy, fun, mood, This altogether makes Life !

Everyday, the same routine , the same people, the same happenings, This altogether passes Life !

Silence, pain, illness, heart attack, accident, suicide, age, This Takes Away Life !

This is the life we cry for ? This is the life we get depressed for ? This is the life we plan for ? This is the life we die for ?

Does it worth everything ?

Life is like a candle… Either it slowly melts away or a harsh breath of wind blows it out of existence.
Brittany Ann Smith

Life is short, but it’s long enough to ruin any man who wants to be ruined.
Josh Billings

Life is short. You have to be able to laugh at our pain or we never move on.
Jeff Ross

Men talk of killing time, while time quietly kills them

Dion Boucicault

Life is wasted on the living.
Douglas Adams

I am scared. Scared of the truth. Scared of Life. Scared of death……..

Scared of the 650 letters…………..

Life ?????????

The Monster Inside Us !

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Yes I am thinking that way now ? How negative …. Right ?

Let me tell you the story behind these thoughts.

The Monster in my story hacked my email account and Facebook about 8 months ago. He stole all  my pictures and started black mailing me. He asked me the phone number or any contact of one of my college friends but I didn’t give it to him. He had nothing to do with me, nothing at all. Even he didn’t know me well and I had no idea who he was. I have never seen him. He used to scare me saying he will do bad to my pictures and he sent some of them to me, photo shopped !  And he was enjoying all this. He was having fun by scaring me. I was scared to hell ! I am the kind of girl who never puts her picture as a display picture in her own Facebook. And it was hard to bear all this torch-er he was causing me. And after some time he disappeared.

Recently He attacked again on my emails and Facebook but he was failed due to my security measures. He was able to get into one email account and I deleted it. He was out raged and tried to black mail me with the same pictures again. But thanks to a friend, who didn’t let it happen. I have passed some bad days in fear. All I saw was fear everywhere. It was hard but As they say every cloud has a silver lining !

The point I was thinking about is, He may be a Monster for me. He may be bad for me. But He would be a good loving son to his mother, A caring brother to his siblings and an obedient son to his father ! His family would have never seen the Monster inside him. He can be a Monster for the whole world, but when it comes to his family, he is a good guy like others. Why ?

Because there is a monster inside each one of us ! We behave bad sometimes to some people and we are the best for some other people. Sometimes, time matters and at other times , people matters but we are all the same ! The Monster inside us forces us to do things he want. And we are all scared of revealing this monster to the people we love. We try to hide this monster from the people we care about. The thought that what would happen to us, if our loved ones come to know what are we from inside, scares us to death !

I am reminding a true story right now in my mind. There was a man living with his family near our house. He was caring and loving to his family like everyone. And then I heard the news. One day he entered his home with an axe in his hand. He first cut the legs and necks of his own daughters. Then cut his son and wife too with the same axe. Police caught him and when they asked him the reason behind what he did. He said, It wasn’t me. Something forced me to do this and it prevailed my mind so badly that I lost my thinking power. And I did that. He was crying hard with pain. Pain that his Monster caused to him and The thought that the thing he did, can never be re-winded !

The Monster I just talked about,was a big one ! We all have small monsters hidden inside us. Some Monsters become happy when they see the others in pain. Some monsters become happy when they can irritate the people under them Some monsters are of the kind that they enjoy seeing the misery of other people. Some Monsters become happy when they see people less successful then they are . Some Monsters are happy when they see other people failing in things they are passed. The ways are different, But almost all monsters want the same. They are bad, and watching bad things happening to people around them makes them happy.

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Ego is the best friend of these Monsters and Mutiny is the best mate. They grow bigger taking the shoulders of Ego. That is why I have heard Senior people saying that There is no ego and self respect in Love. If you Love someone with all your heart , whether it is the human love or the real Love, You have to sacrifice your Ego. And Love is a feeling where no Monster can exist.

You may be disagreeing with my point. We see a lot of people around us who are good to everyone. We can’t even think there can be any bad thing inside them . We respect them with all our heart.  The thing is, they are successful in suppressing the monster inside them. The more the one is successful in suppressing it, the more he succeeds in becoming a good person.

Take some time from your busy life and think ! Think what were the places where your monster took the charge and He let you do bad things. Things you regret and You want to go back and erase them . The things you think you would never do if you have a chance now. There are many things in my life too. Now try to understand the nature of your monster. How he behaves at some points when He want you to do evils. There may be some specific areas you need to work on. If you have figured them out, Try to think about them in your mind, that you won’t let your monster took over it again. You are strong enough to fight against your monster. Once this thought is settled in your mind, The Monster will be grounded forever !

We fight daily with our monster. He says us to do a thing and then our conscious and heart says no it is wrong and we leave it. If we see it in the light of religion, Then it is our ‘Nafs’ Who is the Monster. You all are aware of it. It is said repeatedly by Allah to suppress our ‘Nafs’. People who are successful in suppressing it, are the good ones in eyes of Allah. But we are so trapped in the puzzle of our ‘Nafs’ that we are forgetting the good inside us. We grow our ‘Nafs’ daily by letting him eat our good. He do what he wants, all day long.  “Nafs’ would be the biggest reason for our sufferings. It may let us enjoy here, But we will be caught in its trap hereafter !

I see a lot of mass killings happening all around the world. A lot of innocent children are murdered in front of their mothers. Many girls are raped in-front of their fathers. People go for their work and they are shot by unknown people. Robberies, thefts and Kidnapping are on their peak. No one feels safe now. The people who are so called ‘rulers’ of us, are doing nothing but eating pop-corns and watching these things like we watch a movie. Why is that so ? Are these the Monsters who are trying to undertake the whole world ? Is the power of good so less that it can’t control the power of evil ? I don’t think so.

megamind-funny-quotes

Well that is a joke ! It may be the matter of time. All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing. At this time it may look like the evil is going to succeed but at the last , good always wins ! I hope that truth is stronger in the end than any evil or misfortune in the world.I am waiting for that time. I have hope in me, I know I will see the sun of good rising one day. Sometimes I wonder, is there something like “Karma” in this world ?

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