The Cute Little Angel and Cancer

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I was constantly staring at that cute little fairy wandering in the crowd fearlessly. She was probably 5 or 6 years old, wearing a stunning pink and white dress. Half of her hair were tied in a band while half of them were scattered on the forehead. It was a traditional Mehndi function and the stage In front of the groom was covered in lighted candles fixed in small clay containers. She would go running towards the stage and try to touch those candles and her mother would come to her, pick her up and take her back to the table where her family was sitting. She was eager to touch the candles so whenever her mother would get busy she would run towards the stage.

In that boring purposeless function, the only prettiest thing that indulged me was that beautiful angel. I love babies and children and I always wished I could have a cute baby girl like her. Her Mother gave birth to her brother a month ago. They live in UK and are our relatives.

Today I heard that she is diagnosed with blood Cancer. I was shocked and terrified and I felt like my heart has stopped beating for a while. Such a cute little angel and such a dreadful disease. She is so small so innocent how would she bear such intense pain. My heart is crying for her since I have heard the news, I am worried about her and about her family specially her Mother. How would she see her little angel in such a pain. From where would she collect the courage ?

I can’t express what I am feeling right now. The point of sharing these News with you is only that you pray for her health and her long life. I have heard, and witnessed that prayers are very powerful. If everyone of you who reads my post will pray for her, may be Allah listens and May be He gives her health back to her. After all, He is the merciful and Kind.

Please take out some seconds from your busy life and give her a beautiful gift of Dua. May she recovers very soon. Ameen !

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Back Here Again !

Hi my beautiful fellows ! I don’t know right now whether any of you still follows my blog or not or whether anyone of you will get to read this post or it will stay here, unnoticed. I have written on my other blog for about 7 months and tonight, I felt like returning back to this one. I can’t figure out why I love this blog so much. May be because this is the place where I used to write with all my heart, where I used to share what I felt without even bothering to give words all the fanciness and glitter. Where I made so many beautiful friends and met so many honest and nice people who helped me in my bad times and never left me alone.

This blog was the place where I used to wander when I was struggling to go through life. When my mind never used to get tired of thinking in new dimensions and above all, when He was with me. When my Allah was with me. I lost Him on my way to pass life and I am struggling to get Him back from then. May be this place helps me to get Him back. May be you people help me to get Him back.

Back then, I wished to get a normal life. Now, I want to get that life back again. I want to get heart broken and I want to get all my pain back. That pain was the reason He was here. It was the reason I was in Love with him and He used to listen to me. It was a part of me and now  I am alone and miserable but I don’t feel that pain. A black hole of abyss is sucking me deep inside and this hollowness in my heart, it grows. I wan’t to cry but I can’t. May be man never gets satisfied with what he gets.

I wish you still read me here. I would be glad to know if you do 🙂 Love you all.

I should laugh.

What should I call myself ? Huh !

A loser ? A psycho patient ? A dumb idiot ? Sorry I can’t come up with a better word.

My life has been a total disaster…..I have been living in the house of my own imaginations.

All my life I thought I shouldn’t show my tears to my parents…I shouldn’t share my problems with the….They should never see me crying….. Why ? Because I thought they might get worried….I thought I have never given them any happiness so I have no right to give them pain because of me.

And today I am laughing at my thoughts. I am making fun of my own self…..

I was lying on my bed….crying and sobbing…..Reason was my parents.

They stood in the the door way…watching me. And then they left. They didn’t even say a word.  They didn’t even ask why am I crying.

They didn’t even thought I am dying for their one sentence of sympathy and care.

I am witnessing the pile of my imagination about my parents scattered on the ground right now….. And I am laughing…..

Happiness means smiling and laughing….Yeah?

So I am happy……I am so happy.

Because I know now, my parents don’t give a F*** !!

I was wandering in a black hole with no start or end and suddenly I am at the dead end !

(16th november 2013….A post written while crying and in extreme emotional imbalance)

Back Again !

Hey ! I am here again with you people as I always say I can be absent but never for ever ! Hope you all are doing fine. I gave my final presentation and vivas and it all went very well. In fact our Group got the highest marks and stood on first position. Enjoyed alot in these three weeks with my friends… the hang outs , the lunches and dinners, the window shopping and wandering on streets…. Ahh I miss it all !

I never thought leaving my friends would be that difficult…. I never thought I got that much attached to them in these four years…. I never realized how important they were for me….. I realized all this when I was leaving and they all were crying and hugging me like never before and I was crying even harder ! I felt terrible while leaving and I wish time flies back and I value this beautiful relationship !

I never knew before why people write poems and quotations for friendship…… For me friendship was a mere relationship for a specific time…. It was because I got friends before who betrayed me…. I wasn’t aware of the taste of real friendship and when I got it, I got so much busy in enjoying it that I forgot to think about its importance. And now when sitting in my room, alone, I am feeling its importance…………. And I feel torn apart.

We understand the value of things and people truly when they leave us……. I don’t know it is human nature or the nature of some humans !

I will the time I spent in university…. I will miss my beautiful time in hostel….I will miss my friends so much….All my life. I don’t know what life has for me in the future but I know it won’t be more beautiful than the time I just passed.

Will write something about it soon….. In the mean time I have to prepare my brother for his exam.

Love you all.

Under The Spell Of Black Magic….!

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I had been thinking about the magical things I have been hearing these days too often So here I am sharing them with you.

This is a true story from 9 to 10 years ago when I was a little kid and used to sleep in my Mom’s room on a separate small bed. I still remember it because it gives me goose bumps still when I recall it.

It was the time of mid night and everyone was sleeping. Suddenly I woke up and saw a shadow moving towards my Mom’s bed. It sat down beside her on her pillow. I felt scared and I cried “Mom there is someone sitting beside you” . She was so sleepy and without opening her eyes she pulled out her hand and punched that thing on his back with her fist and then slept again. And I was not watching a dream because I heard the sound of punching. That thing, then stood up and started walking towards the door and disappeared ! When I told my mom in the morning she said she remember me crying but there was nothing else she could recall.

I am not sure whether that really happened or I was dreaming. Since my childhood I have heard of so many stories about magic and ghosts and people who tell them claim them to be true.

Another incident happened to my father when I was in college. He went out of station and when he returned at night, his clothes were covered with blood stains. We were all so worried. He then told that he was walking towards the train and he felt like someone has pushed him from the rear and suddenly his clothes were all covered with blood and he fainted. One of the persons near by took him to his shop. He was a Hafiz-e-Quran (People who know Quran by heart) and he told my dad that
the blood is not human blood and he has been attacked by black magic, but he survived. My mom used to tell me that the same thing happened to my dad when I was a little baby. He was sitting in someone’s shop and he was covered in blood within an instant. Than he went to Qaari Saab ( Pious Hafiz-e-Qran) and he told him that he survived the attack because he was reciting Quranic verses at that time.

Despite this, I haven’t seen any type of Magic related thing in my whole life. I have listened to the stories of my friends but since I have not seen them with my eyes I don’t believe in them. I have heard stories how close relatives do magic on people out of jealousy or some other reasons and what effects this magic could have on them.

Magic can be done for giving financial crisis to people, for causing them health problems and diseases, for stopping their minds to work for studies or job, for making a person paralyze, causing heart attack or even death. I wonder how could these people sleep at nights but I have heard those people getting ruined and destructed after-wards. Some stores were related to how some homes can be under the spell of Ghosts and how they irritate people to leave them. They even go inside small kids and scare other family members.

People use different things to make magic work. These things include small written papers, small pieces of clothes, blood, meat or bones of some animal and things like that and these things are buried or hid at some place where no one could see them. And then by discarding these things and reciting proper verses the spell can be broken.

Seems like the typical Horror series or movie story ! It is weird though how we think these serials to be stupid and believe in things happening to the lives of people around us.

People who have seen these things with their own eyes believe in them and people who haven’t seen them, think them to be absurd. Specially the ‘modern’ people. I don’t know about their truth except the things I have seen by myself. But I do believe that ghosts exist and they live in this world like we do. I have also read that there is a third dimension of this world where
these type of things exist and they could sometimes interfere in the lives of humans too due to some unknown reasons. I also have heard that Ghosts have certain limitations and they can not always enter the human world .

I don’t have any kind of proof of any of these assumption to be right or wrong. I am just curious to know the hidden truths of this universe. I love Horror movies and novels too , have read couple of them and I am not scared of ghosts…  Our knowledge and wisdom is limited… God knows how many other creatures are living with us and may be reading this article with me as I am writing it ! 😉

The magic spell culture is increasing in Pakistan among the uneducated and foolish people. I have no idea whether people of other countries have to face it too or not ! Do YOU have any scary story from your own life ?

The Day When Personal Passion Was Sacrificed For The Highest Love

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Hundreds of years ago….. A perfect complete home with a father and a son included. Both of them were filled with the same beautiful Love and compassion that is an essence of human nature since first man was forged into the world.

Father once had a dream, a hallucination, that he is sacrificing his son for Allah. Back in those times, Allah used to communicate with people through definite signs, How felicitous and fortunate they were !

The next night . he again witnessed the very dream. Postulating it to be a true one, as all his former dreams proved out to be true, He conceived from it that Allah demanded a sacrifice from him. In order to accomplish Allah’s command, he sacrificed a herd of camels and disseminated the meat among the poor.

Repeatedly in the following nights he witnessed the same dream and did the same sacrifices. Still, the dream didn’t cease. Then he had second thoughts.

He called his beloved son and elaborated him the story , he said “O my son! I have seen you being sacrificed in a dream; what do you say?”(The Quran: 37:102)

The son, being aware of the fact that his father is a prophet of Allah, replied without any reluctance: “O my father! Do what you are commanded; if God please, you will find me of the patient ones” — (The Quran: 37:102).

The father , the son and his mother…. everyone though being anxious and shaken inside, were delighted and overjoyed over getting a chance to serve Allah. How sacramental they were !

Fatherly tender Love and child’s fond affection was going to be sacrificed for the Greater Divine. On their way to alter, they were distracted and horrified by the Satan but they didn’t let anything come in their way.

At the Altar the son threw himself prostrate before his illustrious father, who blindfolded as he was, lest his parental love should come in the way, applied the knife to his son’s throat. An exemplary conduct of complete submission to the will of Allah; sacrificing his only son in His way! The soul of Abraham within himself was praising the Lord, saying: “My prayer and my sacrifice and my life and my death are all for God, the Lord of the worlds”.

Angels stood metamorphosed, as it were, into lifeless pictures and overcome by extreme anxiety. 

“God is great; God is great; God is great; God is great; There is no Allah, but He. And God is great; All praise for God.”

My words and my wisdom is not enough to pen down the great light and the essence of that very happening….

Abraham was about to cut the throat of his only son. But lo! He heard a voice from Above:

“O Abraham! you have indeed shown the truth of the Vision; thus We reward the doers of good. Surely this is a manifest trial” — (The Quran: 37:104-106).

The Patriarch laid down the knife and there was rejoicing mingled with thanksgiving that God had accepted the Sacrifice. It dawned on him what his Vision really meant – viz., that what God wanted was not the blood of his son but the sacrifice of that highest of love which a father has for his son and vice-versa. It was the sacrifice of personal passion that was acceptable to God and that was done both by the father and the son. The father and son fell down in prayer praising their Lord.

From that day, to commemorate this outstanding act of sacrifice (qurbani) by Prophet Abraham, people sacrifice a lamb, goat, ram or any other animal on Eid-ul-Adha and give the meat to friends, neighbors, relatives and the needy. Eid is celebrated with a great zeal and enthusiasm by the Muslims all over the world.

In-spite of judging the intentions of other people behind the sacrifice, Can’t we just do our part honestly ?

I wish all My brothers and sisters a very Happy Eid Mubarik ! People who are away for Hajj , a very warm Congratulations to them too ! 

Eat lots of meat (only your part 😉 ), get fat and remember me in your prayers 🙂

 

 

You Say Equal Rights, I Say Equal Respect !

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” Gender Equity is a thought-provoking direction”

“Men and women should have equal rights”

“They are same”

These were the slogans of one the protest happening in Pakistan with lots of women of every age with modern clothes and expensive make-up on their face shouting their mouths out under hot sun with sun-blocks on their skin !

These are the same women who go to their homes full of servants and sit in air conditioned rooms and insult their female servants and maids. Who don’t even move themselves to get a glass of water and who say a word out of their mouth and their husbands have to follow it. Then the same women brag about what social work they are doing by protesting for Equal right for men and women. Yes they can say that because they see the same thing in their own homes…. Both of them, wife and husband have pockets full of money and both of them work in hugs offices to earn this money !

They say , ” If you can’t cook , get out of kitchen ! “

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But the women working at homes and Growing their children and men working hard from dawn to dusk for their children and raising their family can ask for equal rights and equality ?

I am against the concept of equal rights and equality for men and women. Men and women can never be equal. Both have their own strengths and both have their own weaknesses. No one can take place of the other and both with all their different unique capabilities are necessary to run the society  successfully. Then how come we ask for equal rights ?

If we talk about Islam, Women were treated as inferior creatures before Hazrat Muhammad (PBUH) that they were buried alive . After Him , they were given many rights in society regarding property and other but they were never called as equal to men. They were given greater respect then men but at the same time it was said that they can never take place of men. Men are born to earn and run the family and women have to stay inside to raise their families. They can go out too to earn but under certain restrictions and boundaries. Both of them are born with different natures. I can’t say men should be preferred on women neither am I saying men are superior to women. Both are at an equal place but with their own unique capabilities.  Women will create more imbalance in the society if they would try to do the work men are made for doing. That is why a women ruler is said to be always destructive because Ruling is a characteristic of men.

Nowhere in Quran Allah said that Man is superior to woman. Instead He said

“We created you from a male and female, made you into nations and tribes, so that you may come to know one another. Truly the most honored of you in God’s sight is the greatest of you in piety “ 49:13

Women have their own rights to life, to learn, own and dispose of property, choose a husband, right as a wife, standard of living, right to be treated equally, right to divorce, right to inherit and right to a final will. Men have their own rights.

I am on the side of demanding equal respect for both men and women but when it comes to feminism and equal rights for men and women, I am Sorry I deny it !

 

 

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Happy Post # 1

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Wandering Eyes and never ending sleepless nights

Headaches ! Restlessness and Severe Hunger at its height

Mind full of questions to inquire about the Mortal life

Blocked brains and frightening Horror filled in eyes

Though enjoyed the time, had fun being a rover

But still, Thank God ! My exams Period is Over  😉

 

Yes ! I just took (most probably) the last exams of my life. Final presentation is still ahead but unofficially I am retired from studies. Back to home now , with all my luggage . Took a day to clear out the cupboards and draws of my room to make it worth-living again… And my “Cooking 101” and “How to manage Home 101″ Courses have been started by my Mom. Four more months to go !I am having a flu these days with a blocked head and flowing nose 😛 *Sneeze* But still, things are better !

I wanted to clear out some things to my dearest readers before replying to their comments on my previous post. First of all, I apologize for being so late in writing and replying to you, as you know I was hell busy ! I read your comments time to time but never got a chance to reply to them.

Secondly, I wanted to clear out the ‘Sad and Always Crying” Image of me, you guys have in your minds. Some months back, when I made this blog , I had a sole purpose of pouring out all the feelings storming inside me because I didn’t have anyone to talk to. I did the same, but I never had the idea that I would make so many friends here and would feel like having a ‘virtual’ family. I love all my family members now . Anyway, so when I wrote sad and teary every time when I got sad, I guess people made a concept in their mind that I always remain that heartbroken and pessimistic.

I want to tell you guys, I am a (Its hard to say myself normal for me , so I would skip that) person like other persons of the world who sometimes suffer from depression and is extra sensitive to things I observe but that doesn’t make me an “always sad” person. I don’t have anyone to talk to and I love sharing my feelings with this blog. I can never wear a mask and pretend on this blog at-least. Yes, I , most of the time come to this blog when I am feeling worse. And I crave less to share happiness than to share my pain , but that’s not my fault.

You want me to write happy ? Ok I will. But then I won’t be honest. I would feel like I am connecting with you people the same way I connect myself , or to be precise pretend myself to be with other people in my life.

I can’t say I am sad, nor can I say I am happy ! I feel what I feel… Have sometimes a whole happy day, sometimes a whole day crying and sometimes a “crying at times, and smiling at others” day.  I am Thankful to God for everything , I stay happy and I laugh too ! Its just that I share more when I cry.I AM like that….. I feel hard to change myself. So I would leave the decision to you guys….What do you want me to write ?

Love you all…. Thanks for staying with me always and remembering me. I Love You ! *Sneeze*

I Am Getting Married.

Yes I am getting married. It took me 1 and a half YEAR to realize this single reality…I am getting married.

Though the things beyond this fact are blur. Getting married to whom ? What do I feel ? Why I am doing this ? Why is all this happening ? Everything is blur.

I am going to be a computer scientist in another month. I Love my field now . I got the highest grades and GPA In my class. I am a so called intelligent student in the eyes of teachers. And yet….I am getting married. Just after the completion of my studies.

People say me to be optimistic about my future ! Can I ? Yes I know I should………..!!

The one I wished to pass all my life with….saw all my future dreams with….planned my future with…..is lost in the fog of time and fate !

The one I am going to have a future with….. I never thought about him….I have no feelings , an empty heart for him. This is the future I have to look up to !

I don’t know If I won’t be getting married , I would be doing any job or studying further , My life would be better in Future.

I don’t know either my life would be good with all that seems obvious. I don;t know anything. I am confused.

It took me 1 and a half year to realize the fact that I am getting married. I don’t know how much time I would take to accept the person of my fate.

My Allah and then my parents chose him for me…..and I accepted their wish…with my eyes closed. I couldn’t kill the happiness of my parents . I never gave them any happiness except this one. I am not selfish.

That was the time I stopped wishing for myself. Its hard when you get wounds all over your soul….by the broken pieces of your dreams….and you find no remedy…..no cure.

I have made room for pain in my heart. I know I have to live with what I am given I know I have to accept and I have to Move on !!

It is a difficult task.

Anyway…… I am getting married on 15th February 2014 and You all are Invited.

 

There should be some caring people to give me their shoulder. After all I need four of them. After all ‘Red’ color is getting ‘white’ for me. After all my marriage may be my funeral.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Please Donate !

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I am Glad to know that I was missed this time 🙂 Thank you !

I was out of town for some important personal stuff , that is why I couldn’t give time to the blog. Back now . Want to discuss something …. Consider it a welcome back treat for me 🙂

Allah advises us that when giving charity, we should do so in a way that our left hand doesn’t know what our right hand has spent.

I listened to a beautiful explanation of this saying. I want to share it with you people. It was by a Muslim-ah Scholar. She said I use to wonder what this saying means. Always when we do a thing with our hands, all of the body parts know at the same time what is happening. She said she tried to give charity secretly with one hand but at the same moment each of the body part was sent a message about it by the mind . Then she realized it meant something else. It meant that while giving charity we should not count it, because counting involves the second hand. In this way when one hand will give charity the other body parts will never know how much amount was spent. And when we do something for Allah without counting, the reward is countless too.

The cook in our hostel mess is a young lady with 5 children and her husband is dead. She is recently diagnosed Cancer. She is so poor that she hardly raise her children. So finally after visiting many hospitals and annoyed by the expensive treatements she managed to visit Shaukat Khanum Memorial Hospital that was made by Imran khan , a famous political person and I was amazed to listen to the story she told me.

She said they do a free checkup and full treatment of Cancer patients who are poor and can not afford the expensive treatments. And the doctors and nurses and every employee there talks to you in the same way they talk to the people who are rich and can afford the treatment. And the rich people give double triple payments when they recover , with their consent and through this money the poor are treated for free.

We hardly see this type of kindness in this world now, specially in Pakistan.

I request you all please give donations to this hospital for the treatment of Cancer patients. I am requesting this to you because I felt I should. I have done my part. It is your turn now. I hope you people will donate for the noble cause.

This is the website of Shaukat Khanum Hospital .

http://www.shaukatkhanum.org.pk

If you can’t donate much, Just send a text to 7770 and donate Rs-20 for them. 

Mention here when you are done ! May be your donation saves an innocent life 🙂

Kind Regards !

Thank you !

I Am A Muslim Girl And This World Is Not For Me !

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Dedicated to all Muslim Girls and women of the world…..

I am a Muslim Girl and this world is not for me

When I go out wander In places

I get annoyed of boys who chases

They follow me , touch poke and run

Leaving me behind, making my fun

They can’t feel my pain, treat us like toys

Because I am a girl and they are boys

And when I cover myself up with veils

These are the white people who make me fail

By striking against the covering of women

They cause me bane that can’t be undone

I am a Muslim girl and this world is not for me

I become a victim of bad comments, riot and rape

Because I don’t find any kind of escape

I am not allowed to follow my religion

To cover myself in this men-dominant region

I am a Muslim Girl and this world is not for me

These are the men who are ready to kill

For their mothers and sisters they feel thrill

When other boys do the same to them though

They don’t remember ‘you reap what you sow’

No one understands my agony, my misery, my prate

When I question why Islam is not there in Islamic states ?

My heart cries when I see women’ right’s neglected

And when in Quran I read all about them being awarded

Where is the respect , the purity Islam gave to women

Why is it thought as negative in today’s generation

I am a Muslim girl and this world is not for me

I am waiting for the day when I would be respected

Not treated like toys not a source of lust, celebrated

Not by the yammer that ‘equal’ are women and men

Not by treating us like useless animals,  but Humans !

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Life , A Pendulum !

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Touching the heights…..Changing state………Lowering to ground……changing state…….. Touching the heights……..My life is a pendulum !!

I am having some weird days…… It is like someone is forcing me to stay happy and I can’t absorb it……

I am being forced to stay and hang out with people who have the most worst Image of me in their minds and they hate me…….

I am being forced to enjoy the things which kill me inside when I think about the reason I am doing them…….

I am being forced not to cry by feeling the pain of cramps all over my body because I am made tired physically……

I am being forced not to think about the things which make me sad by making me busy in some abnormal tensions from study life……

I am being forced not to think continuously as I use to do by giving me severe headaches….

I am being forced to live with people who are not my fate by pushing people who are my fate, away from me……

I am being forced not to write by inserting words in my mind and not giving me time to write them down……

And I am not sure if I am being forced or I am the one doing them with my choice !!

I don’t want to be a pendulum anymore….. I want to move upward……Higher enough to reach Him……….

I am being forced to stop my journey…….. WHY ?

May be because this is another phase I have to go through……. I am missing the previous days….

I am missing my home……. My mind has not accepted the reality yet and it has started living in fantasies…..

I just need a shock….a collapse…a trauma…..a stroke…..a jolt…..another punch on my face !!

To see the reality again,…… I am already seeing my suffering in very near future….In 15 days or less….. And maybe that is why I am being forced to enjoy some moments……

I have learnt being a pendulum for so long….. People don’t have time to think about you…. Your death or absence effects you and only you…… You are a fool if you think you are important for someone…….

I know the truths and yet still I close my eyes for them…….

I am a fool….and I am having some weird days….. I know what life is going to give me and yet I am closing my eyes……..

I am a coward !!

I am sorry for being absent from here…..I told you I am having some weird days…..

My life is a pendulum and it is changing its state again…….

 

Happy Birth Day Pakistan , You Will Live Forever InshAllah !

Note : This post is meant for Muslims and Pakistanis and Based on my thoughts. No one is forced to agree with me . Anyone who feel offended through this could stop reading at any point. I apologize already if I hurt your feelings through this !

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A heart full of Love for my country and a mind full of thoughts about Pakistan and Muslims…This is what I am today !

It is the 67th birthday of Pakistan today…. The same Pakistan which was made with a lot of efforts and martyrs by our ancestors. The same Pakistan which was made on the name of Islam and the same Pakistan where we can not see any true Islamic practice nationally. I am not in a mood of giving a long lecture on how Pakistan was made by all the efforts and How we are not doing what we were supposed to do and what should we do. I guess every Pakistani knows his duties in his heart.

I want to share some logic and some predictions with you today. If we look back, Muslims have the most major contributions in Mathematics, Science, Philosophy, Geology,  astronomy, geography , Literature and arts and their rules and formulas are still in use now-a-days. Examples of Muslims rulers for bravery and Justice are still given.

And then there is Today when The same Muslim are called as “Terrorists” ! Muslims are considered to be the most un-educated and ill-mannered people of the world. Muslim countries are continuously under control Of Western Countries and they are implementing the rules they want in Muslim countries. What happened to Muslims ? Islam can not be the reason. Islam was the same long long time ago when Muslims were prospering.

There are bundles of columns and articles filled on conditions of Muslims and the reasons and everything. I would like you to see it with my perspective. Let us talk about some Interesting Facts.

Some Interesting Spiritual Facts About Pakistan :

  1. No country was made after that many Martyrs , as Pakistan faced.
  2. Pakistan came into being on the Shab-e-Qadar “The night Of Blessings”  , On 27th Ramadan.
  3. In 1930’s when Quaid-e-Azam once decided to leave politics and he was persuaded by Allama Iqbal, He shared a secret with some of his very critical friends. He said that Hazrat Muhammad (S.A.W) came to meet him and ordered him to return back to sub-continent as he has to complete his spiritually assigned task.
  4. Sufi Barkat Ali , a well known saint, said “Listen O’ people a day will come when UNO will ask Pakistan before taking any step , whatsoever, I may not remain alive till that time, but if it doesn’t happen, then come and spit on my grave
  5. Many Muslim Scholars, Faqeers and Saints like Allama Shabbir Ahmed Usmani , Atiya Bibi , Qudratullah Shahab, Naimatullah shah Wali, Ashfaq Ahmed and many more described the detailed Spiritual Importance of Pakistan. Many of them Saw Hazrat Muhammad (S.A.W) in their dreams saying something about Pakistan.
  6. Many spiritual Aspects of the 1965 war have been described Spiritually Like the sight of Cavaliers dressed in white dresses , a letter by ‘Madina’ people about sighting of Hazrat Muhammad (S.A.W) saying he is going to fight for Pakistan, many bombs detonation, sighting of one bridge into six by an Indian Soldier and etc.

You can Read full details on these links.

http://pakistannislam.blogspot.com/2013/01/spiritual-pakistan.html#.UgkQQNKTRMg

http://pakistancyberforce.blogspot.com/2011/09/spiritual-importance-of-pakistan-past.html

With all these points in mind, Can you say Pakistan has no importance and all these proofs are just coincidences ? No , I don’t think so. Pakistan was made for a special purpose and that special purpose has yet to be served, in near future.

Let us discuss that Purpose now.

Some Islamic Predictions About Signs Of Qayamat (The day Of Judgment) :

1-Some of you (people) would fight with Hindus and Allah would give them (Muslims) Success ”  –Kanz-ul-aemaal, Hadees # 39719.

2- Hazrat Muhammad (S.A.W) said ,  Dajjal won’t come out till people don’t forget him , even the people at mosques stop saying anything about him.

3-Many Sufi Saints and Faqeers have predicted the success of Muslims in the Fight of Hind.

Now according to the recent column of Orya Maqbool Jan , A renowned writer , Sufi and spiritual person, Hindus have given out the dates of the year 2013 for this fight to be started. They say they won’t be succeeded, if they don’t fight now, for about hundred years. And according to Islamic predictions , in this fight Muslims would succeed and Pakistan would  be considered as the leader of Muslim nations. According to Hindus, a person they call as “Mahaarashi” is hiding in the mountains and he will come out with 70,000 Jews. The same was predicted back then, about the “Dajjal Fitna

You can read the whole Article of Oriya Maqbool Jan here : http://oryamaqbooljan.com/columns/jung-ka-mahorat-orya-maqbool-jan

The thing I am going to state now is Pure my thoughts and a voice from my heart or you can say my instincts or sixth sense.

I feel that the preparations for this ‘Ghazwa-e-Hind’ would start now in the year 2013 and The fight would start when Imran Khan would be the leader of Pakistan! After this 5 years period of Nawaz Shareef , I think Imran Khan would be the President and then this fight would happen and Pakistan would have a success InshAllah !

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This is not written anywhere, It is just what I feel.

So After such important proofs, I don’t think the Dream of America, that Pakistan would no longer be in the maps of world , seems to be right !

I am not a scholar or anything, I just share what I believe and you are not forced to agree with my views here !

By stating all this information about fights I am not showing that I want people to fight. I love peace and So do Pakistan. Islam never wants fight, ever. Even in Islam killing one innocent is the same as killing the entire nation ! It is strictly forbidden. I was just recalling the things said by the Great people and was just telling my thoughts that I feel , this is the time.

At the last I would just say, Pakistan , you have given me everything and I am Thankful to you, To the sacrifices of our Ancestors ! May Allah give Pakistan a strength to Perform the task for which it was made 66 years ago and predicted by Hazoor Pak (S.AW) thousand years ago !

I Love you Pakistan and You will live Forever InshAllah !

Ameen !

Happy Independence Day  To All Pakistanis !

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Be Slow To Criticize And Fast To Appreciate !

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Take two glasses of water. Put them in separate rooms on a table and turn the lights of both rooms off. Now go to first room, sit down in front of one glass, take your face close to it and start admiring it. Say beautiful words about it, appreciate its beauty and be as nice and as positive to it as you can. Now go in the second room, sit down in front of the glass, take your face close to it and start saying bad words. Taunts, criticism, sarcasm, bitterness, anything. Say out all your negative thoughts. Repeat this activity for a whole month. When you will turn on the lights you will see the following results. The water in the glass to which you said all the good and positive things has turned more white and it shines. While the water in the glass to which you said all the bad and negative words has turned black !

No, I didn’t do it myself. I read this in a news paper written by some very famous writer , I don’t remember the name now. I was just shocked to read the effect of words . Let me quote anther story I heard in a movie.

A long time ago there was a jungle in which people use to live. They didn’t have proper instruments to cut the trees. What they used to do for abolishing trees was a very interesting phenomena. They all gather around the tree and say all the bad words and negative thoughts about the tree. Slowly the tree starts withering and its stem and branches starts contracting. They do this activity for a specific period of time and at last the innocent tree withers and decays to ground.

Obviously I haven’t seen them doing it. But the thing is, these kind of tales mostly have truth in them. There is some solid concept on the basis of which thee tales are made.

You know in our society we are in a habit of criticizing rather than appreciating. It all starts as the child starts his school. If he plays more and study less, parents criticize all the time. shout on the children and say them bad for not studying all the time. If he can’t get good grades Parents as well as other family member keep on criticizing Like see we never saw him studying he was always playing that is why he got this grade and stuff. This all continues till college. If a child do some mistake, instead of trying to know the cause what forced him to do this, people criticize. We never see what is the effect of our criticism on that innocent child. Rather he becomes stubborn and tough and never listens to his parents again or he becomes extra sensitive and every word from parents hurts him and he becomes quiet and the light from his eyes is vanished. Either ways, the child is destroyed. The energy the passion inside him dies and as a result t becomes a weak personality. Same happens with the people doing jobs and Mothers who stays at home , cooks and bring their children up.

The only people who can admire us with all heart are our parents. They don’t understand this fact. People always look towards you as if the second you make a mistake, they catch it and start blabbering about it. They never admire you and appreciate you as I have seen in my society. Parents do it, but they are scared if they admire their children they will take everything easy .I don’t agree with this. A single word of appreciation from the loved ones gives you enough courage to face the whole world. You start feeling all the energy inside you.

The same happens to me. Every time someone appreciates me for anything, I start doing it with more enthusiasm and power. And the point someone criticizes me I lose all the energy and I don’t want to do that thing anymore. Every single word of criticism from my  parents cut me inside and every time I do something big and they don’t even know it, I become more sensitive and teary. Their is a middle stage too when you are working so hard and when you take your hard work to the respected people, you don’t get any appreciation . Instead the people with you who don’t even know the abc of work, get all the appreciation you deserved. Why ? because they know how to show off and you just know how to work. This stage is more worse !

Of course constructive criticism is always good. But it should be done only when needed truly.

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I once studied in a book that every person has a magnetic field around him and every human emits vibrations from his body. Science proves that the point of emission of these vibrations is the center of our forehead between the two eyes. Some people also call it as ‘sixth sense’ . The background of this theory is that every human body has current in it which is of 0.5 watt. Due to this current and charge , a magnetic field is formed around the body. And through this magnetic field magnetic vibrations are emitted.

When we meet a person whose vibrations are favorable and compatible with our vibrations , we are attracted towards that person. We feel attraction in him. The vibrations of some humans are neutral. Vibrations of some people are not compatible with the vibrations of our body and we run away from them. You know sometimes we feel attraction towards a person we don’t know or we don’t ever have talked to him. This is all due to the favorable vibrations. Likewise, we sometimes start disliking a person with out any reason. This is because of the unfavorable ones.

I believe this is the scientific proof of why appreciation and criticism has that intense effect on everything. When we appreciate someone, our positive vibrations are transferred to that person and as a result that person feels more energetic. In the same way with criticism we transfer our negative vibrations to the person and as a result all his energy and light is soaked out and he starts feeling empty and weak.

I wish all the parents and people outside who don’t leave any chance of criticizing anyone, know this ! We can boost up our youth just by some words of appreciation and we will see the results would be enormous. Be slow to criticize and fast to appreciate !

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Abstract Speculation Of A Rainy Day

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Today is  Juma-Tul-Wida (The last Friday of Ramadan Kareem).

The dawn was as hot as the rest of the days of Ramadan passed. Everyone was dying of hotness and clouds use to come daily and left without showering. Fasting in this kind of hotness is hard, very hard. But our Lord says He can’t put burden on us more than we can handle.

As I came out in the noon I saw black clouds on the sky and finally it started raining ! Everyone in my family is so happy right now . I can feel their happiness as their faces look like blooming flowers. Why are Fridays always so lucky ? I said to myself. I went into the rain feeling its cold refreshing drops falling all over me. It felt cold and pleasant. I put a chair right in the middle of the open patio of my house, beside green leaves of a tree and lie on it feeling the rain going into my soul through every pore of my body. I relax here with closed eyes feeling the pleasure of getting my heart washed. I see my family happy around me. Laughing, talking, gossiping and joking, beautiful faces . My dad is sitting right beside me. I felt peace. Real peace . No worries, no problems to think about and nothing to get tensed. Peace, serenity, lull and happiness.

After a while my mind has started doing its ‘endeavor‘. It never stops thinking and I get tired of it sometimes. S[specially at long nights when I want to sleep and couldn’t just because of my mind, awake and thinking. I wonder how it stopped just before this moment when everything was feeling so good and refreshing and Life seems so easy and peaceful.

I caught up a thought about my family and then all the news I heard before on Tv and from people started echoing in my brain. I thought at this very moment when I am sitting peacefully here there would be many atrocious things happening in some part of the world. There may be an innocent child dying in some corner of the world by barbarous people. There may be a drone attack and many innocent people may have been killed in it. There may be a suicide bomber exploding himself , taking lives of many innocent people including him. A father may have been killed by a shot from unknown bike riders in some part of my country. There may be a father killing his own family members or a brother killing his own sisters. There may be a girl being killed at some part of world after getting kidnapped.

There would be a mother, a father crying on death of their angelic children. A brother crying on the death of his sister. Small kids crying on the death of their father. There would be pain in many people’s heart right now. There would be fear in many eyes, the fear of future. There would be restlessness, agony, distress, hurt and terror dancing in the eyes of  some modest simple people.

Thinking of this, this rain water don’t seem refreshing to me anymore. I am feeling like I am dipping my feet in the blood of these people. I feel like the blood of these people is falling right now on me and I am drenched in their blood. I took out my hand and tried to feel the rain drops. They were not rain drops anymore…..

We hear about deaths of people and killings of innocent everyday. On the news in Tv , on some radio channel , on internet or through different people we meet. We hear the news , feel some pain in our heart for the moment , say some words about their loss to show we are sad and then start living our normal life again. We don’t even remember what we heard lately . Why ? Is it really a fact that our blood has turned white? ……Or is this the coldness that is spreading all over inside our hearts with time?

But what if we feel the pain in heart…..what can we do ? What can we do to stop these killings. What can we do to ease the pain of people that were attached to the killed ones? What can we do for the innocent kids left behind all alone ? We are so engaged in our own lives. We are becoming doctors and engineers . We are busy in doing our full time jobs. We are busy in taking care of our kids and raising them. Our lives are so busy we can’t even have time for fulfilling our social responsibilities. Then how can we go far away to the place where these things happen , leaving our life and family far behind and try to help them ? Can we sacrifice our lives for their lives ? Are we brave enough ? I am not…

Then what is our responsibility ? Why do I feel so much pain in my heart when I hear these kind of news and I feel my hands tied?  I feel myself obstruct and powerless . Why can’t I do anything for them? I want to stop all this. I want to ease the pain of people getting suffered. I want to be their voice. But why can’t I move , why do i feel my self tied up hard…………What can I do ?

For what reason did our beloved Messenger said

He who among-st you sees something abominable should modify it with the help of his hand; and if he has not strength enough to do that, then he should do it with his tongue; and if he has not strength enough to do even that, then he should (at least abhor it) from his heart; and that is the least of faith.”

We should act upon this . Shouldn’t we ? Then why do we show like we don’t care about other people. Some of us even don’t abhor the evil doings in our hearts. We care only when something like this happens to our own family. Why are we not able to feel the pain of other people ?

I open my eyes and took a glimpse of my family. I stare at each of their faces and I feel my heart would burst out with pain. I couldn’t even think of anything like that happening to them. I can’t think of losing anyone of them. What would be the feelings of the people who had to face this hell on earth ?

Tears have started coming out of my eyes. But I am lucky, it is raining right now. It will hide my tears from the people I love and I care about. Charlie Chaplin was a really funny man, he tried to make everyone laugh with his actions but his quote about rain always make me realize he was not what everyone assumed him. He said it right.

“I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying.”

I close my eyes again and here I lay thinking and in-questing myself…..all these questions sway in my mind and I try to figure out answers of each. Do you know the answers ?

An Insight Of “Love”

The Lamps are different, but the Light is the same.

The Lamps are different,
but the Light is the same.

The real beloved is that one who is unique, who is your beginning and your end. When you find that one, you’ll no longer expect anything else.

There was a man living at a far away place. He had no one with him except a donkey who was everything to him and he use to spend all his time with it. He once went to a pious man living in his area.The pious man was sitting in a hut with a small door. The man stood outside the door and started a conversation with him.

Man: “I Love my donkey so much !”

Pious Man: “Ok , Come in !”

As the man entered the room, The pious man said ” You don’t Love your donkey enough ! Go back and spend more time with him”. The man was amazed to hear this. He went back and took care of his donkey more. He spend years and years with him. Then he came back to the Pious man again.

Man: “I love my donkey and this time I am sure about it !”

Pious Man: “Ok , Come in !”

As the man entered the room,

The pious man said ” You don’t Love your donkey enough ! Go back and spend more time with him” . The man was amazed again ! But he went back because he knew the pious man speaks nothing but truth. He spend many more years with his donkey taking care of him. Then he came back again !

Man: “I am in love with my donkey !”

Pious Man: “Ok , Come in !”

The Man didn’t come in.

He said ” My ears are so big and I won’t be able to fit in this small hut with my big body ! ”

The pious Man said ” Yes, Now I believe you ”

This state of Love when You start thinking you are like the one you love, is called as “Ishq” . People who don’t know Urdu, can call it “Extreme Love ” . This is a state where wisdom is left behind, all that is there is True Love. Where one don’t question “Why” . He just remember saying “Yes” .

There is a story in our History,  when a person was involved in Loving Allah so much that Once he started saying “An-al-Haq” Meaning “I am God !’ . When people listened to him they started beating and cursing him that he is calling himself  God. Later on, this theory was explained by some Sufi’s. They say that man was so much In Love with the creator that he started thinking that he is like the one he loves…..He is a part of the one he Loves….He is his Love !

At a distance you only see my light;
come closer and know that I am you !  –Rumi

Is this pure Love worth comparing to the so called love of today ? When a boy loves a girl one day, and the next day he starts loving the next ! When people calls talking on phone and dating as Love . When relationships are the means of love. No relationship , no love ! When people love each other for their own means. When one fight erases love from heart. Is this Love ? NO.

People characterize the stages of reaching “Extreme Love” or “Ishq” as :

1-First stage is of “likeness”. When we like someone’s knowledge, wisdom, way of talking, habits, manners or something then we like to meet them more often. When we meet them more often, this likeness start converting to “adoration” . We want to meet them more and talk to them more.

2- Then comes the stage of “infatuation”. When we feel we can’t live without this person. But when that person goes away from us and we find someone else in that duration we sometimes go close to the second person.

3-The step next to “infatuation” is “love”. This is the extent of likeness and infatuation. When we reach that stage we are so much involved in the person. We want to fulfill his every wish and we feel happy doing it. Every word coming out of his mouth is the last word for us . We can do anything for that person.

4- Then comes the stage of “Ishq” that is the extent of Love. When we lose the sense of thinking and all that we see is our love. where there is no “why” there is just “yes” . Where wisdom is astonished and left far behind.

Love is the feeling that forced “Ibrahim” to jump in fire without questioning His God “why” ? And His God didn’t fail him either. He turned the fire cold. Miracles do happen in Love !

Baykhatar kood para aatish-e-namrood main Ishq

Aqal hai mehw-e-tamasha-e-lab-e-baam abhi

Shewa-e-Ishq hai Azadi-o-deher aashubi

Tu hai zannari-e-bu’t khana-e-ayyam abhi    

-Iqbal

(Meanings: Baykhatar = Fearlessly; Kood para = Jumped in; Aatish-e-Namrood = Referring to fire of Namrood in which, prophet Abraham (PBUH) was thrown; Ishq = Referring to strong Faith and devotion of Prophet Abraham (PBUH); Aqal = Wisdom; Mehw-e-tamasha-e-lab-e-baam = Stunned/shocked/in state of disbelief; Shewa-e-Ishq = Strong Faith; Azadi = Freedom; Deher Aashubi = To get rid of slavery; Zannari-e-bu’t khana-e-ayyam = Under influence of idol worshipers)

Some wise people say that we reach the Creator by three means:

1-will

2-knowledge

3-love

There are 10 % chances in will and 90% chances in knowledge that we will go towards the wrong path while searching the Creator. But with love, there are no chances to get lost. Love is a thing that can’t be explained but can only be experienced. And once experienced, nothing is left after it.

O Lord! Was it the cloud of mercy or the thunderbolt of Love When the life’s crop got burned down, sprouted the seed of the Heart  –Rumi

In a human body, heart is present on one side of the chest and “wishes” or “cravings” which are called as “Nafs” In our language, is on the other side of heart. In the center of our heart, in a very deep place is where our soul resides. And in the depth of our “Nafs” , Evil resides. The thing is to fight with the “Nafs” and it leads us towards the True Love , “Ishq” !

There were many Pious persons and Sufis , whose destiny was to reach God. Because of the worldly demands and weaknesses they couldn’t reach there. So the creator engaged them in the “love of man”. When they return empty handed from it and they were hurt because of it, The creator took them, holding their hands, towards him. And they succeeded in achieving the greatest levels.

It changes the heap of earth into elixir

Such is the power of the ashes of the Heart

It gains freedom after being caught in the net of Love

On being thunder-struck greens up the tree of the Heart

Iqbal

Closing it with an English translation of a poem by Allama Iqbal, My favorite Poet. He was at a very upper level of Sufism and we need a lot of insight to reach to the true meanings hidden in his words.

One day reason said to the Heart:

I am a guide for those who are lost.
I live on the earth, but I roam the skies
Just see the vastness of my reach.
My task in the world is to guide and lead,
I am like Khizar of blessed steps.
I interpret the book of life,
And through me Divine Glory shines forth!
You are no more than a drop of blood,
While I am the envy of the priceless pearl !!

The Heart listened, and then said: This is all true,

But now look at me, and see what I am!!!
You penetrate the secret of existence,
But I see it with my eyes!!!
You deal with the outward aspects of things
I know what lies within!!! (The outward pertains to the phenomenal world, the inward to matters of the Heart and soul)
Knowledge comes from You, intuitive knowledge of spiritual truth from me!!!
You seek GOD, I reveal HIM!
Attaining the ultimate in knowledge makes one restless –
I am the cure for that ailment!!!
You are the candle of the Assembly of Truth;
I am the lamp of the Assembly of Beauty!!!
You are hampered by space and time,
While I am the “bird in the Lotus tree” (Taaeyr-e-Sidraa)
My status is so high –
I am the throne of the Majesty of GOD (According to sufistic saying, the world is too small a place to house GOD, but a believer’s Heart is large enough to house Him)

An Unsorted Unresolved Depress Mind’s Thought On Life……..

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Life…..

………..Starts with a white clean paper. Some words emerge on it. Words which are imperative and which needs to be mastered. As the paper start getting filled with words, The purity and cleanliness starts dissipating. The paper starts stuffing with blotches and eruptions. Marks and stains are dispersed over it. Word by word, a full story behind exclusive words. After a while, the paper looks destroyed and damaged. Words are arduous to read because of more blemishes. The blotches, words and torn ups can never be undone. They are not erasable. After a moment, the paper start tearing apart from places and at last, whole paper is turned into small pieces. This is where it ends.

One paragraph, 6 lines , 120 words , 650 letters ! 

And Life Ends…….!!

Happenings , stories, pain, happiness, sadness, tears, suffering, joy, fun, mood, This altogether makes Life !

Everyday, the same routine , the same people, the same happenings, This altogether passes Life !

Silence, pain, illness, heart attack, accident, suicide, age, This Takes Away Life !

This is the life we cry for ? This is the life we get depressed for ? This is the life we plan for ? This is the life we die for ?

Does it worth everything ?

Life is like a candle… Either it slowly melts away or a harsh breath of wind blows it out of existence.
Brittany Ann Smith

Life is short, but it’s long enough to ruin any man who wants to be ruined.
Josh Billings

Life is short. You have to be able to laugh at our pain or we never move on.
Jeff Ross

Men talk of killing time, while time quietly kills them

Dion Boucicault

Life is wasted on the living.
Douglas Adams

I am scared. Scared of the truth. Scared of Life. Scared of death……..

Scared of the 650 letters…………..

Life ?????????

The Story Of Cute Family Distractions While Writing A Post……And Awards !!!

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Once upon a time, there were Awards ……        No there were distractions….     No Awards…..

Ok Lets talk about distractions first !

I was nominated for some awards and I wanted to write a post about it. It takes me almost 3 to 4 hours to complete one post and I write 1 post daily. As I am at home now for vacations, It is not easy for me to give that much time to the blog thing as I used to do in hostel. I face a different situation everyday when I spend 4 hours writing a post .

These four hours never go easy on me. Let me tell you the story of today, when I am writing this post right now. I always think about what I will write next in the night. So I opened my laptop today and started writing.

Omg ! This girl is always sitting beside her computer all day long and Look how her fingers keep dancing like that ! Stop this tuk tuk tuk and come out of your room

Yes you have guessed right, This is my mom !

I tried to explain to her, Mama I am writing something important, I will come out after a while. She left grunting in the same style she always do !

I started writing again.

A frog just jumped into your room !!!!!!

A loud scream came out of my mouth and I carried my legs off the ground and put them on the bed , but I didn’t stop writing !!

This was my younger brother, He is 14. He was in search of that Mr. froggi who was devoted in disturbing me while writing.

My brother was wandering in my room feeling himself like a superman or some kind of frog detective with a stick in his hand in search of that Mr.froggi. He kept searching for it for about 10 mins and was sharing some precious pieces of knowledge about frogs with me all along.

It produces a chemical from his mouth and if it falls on a person, He may die !!

Mr. Froggi

Mr. Froggi

I gave him a look, Really ?  *Sigh*

He ignored my look and continued his search in every corner of my room. After a long search program, Mr.froggi showed his face from the back side of dust bin !

I couldn’t write in this situation so I was looking at him with my complete attention. He put it in the same dustbin after a struggle of 5 mins and said,

Why are you looking at me like this ? Do your work !!

And I ……. Yeah with Big *Sighs* started writing again.

When I was about to complete the post, only one paragraph was left behind , something like this happened :

Please give me the snacks you bought yesterday I am hungry !

I looked up again, It was my middle one brother, He is 16. He was looking at me with a begging look on his face !

Okaay take them and run away of my room and don’t let anyone come here pleaseeeeeee !!

He looked at me as if I am telling some kind of joke, and ran away with all the bags of chips.

And this is how I , at last , completed my post !!

So Moving Towards the Awards Now 😛

I was nominated for two blog Awards by arfamasihuddin and I thank her with all my heart for these Awards ! I Love them and I am truly honored to receive them. I don’t want to make a formal speech as I am getting short of words to thank from my limited vocabulary…..but Look Arfa ! Through how many hard stages I have gone through for accepting the awards 😛 You may be aware of the importance of these Awards to me by now !!

You can read the best article about all the rules for the Awards here:

http://arfamasihuddin.wordpress.com/2013/07/18/two-more-awards-im-honoured/

The main Rule is to display the pictures of Awards on Your Blog and nominate 10 NEW members for these Awards to pass on So here it goes !

wordpress-family-award

I am the part of The WordPress Family Award

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Best Moment Award

10 Nominations for the Awards: (This time I am nominating new people who write very good but I don’t have very good interaction with them )

1- emphadiate

2-Aaks-e-Takkhayul

3-Nadia

4-sameernahar

5-bpreethi

6-Maryam

7-jalal michael …

8-Sam.h

9-celestepoesie

10-Nafees

Congrats a Lot !!

Signing Off towards my Family 😉

Love xx

The Monster Inside Us !

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Yes I am thinking that way now ? How negative …. Right ?

Let me tell you the story behind these thoughts.

The Monster in my story hacked my email account and Facebook about 8 months ago. He stole all  my pictures and started black mailing me. He asked me the phone number or any contact of one of my college friends but I didn’t give it to him. He had nothing to do with me, nothing at all. Even he didn’t know me well and I had no idea who he was. I have never seen him. He used to scare me saying he will do bad to my pictures and he sent some of them to me, photo shopped !  And he was enjoying all this. He was having fun by scaring me. I was scared to hell ! I am the kind of girl who never puts her picture as a display picture in her own Facebook. And it was hard to bear all this torch-er he was causing me. And after some time he disappeared.

Recently He attacked again on my emails and Facebook but he was failed due to my security measures. He was able to get into one email account and I deleted it. He was out raged and tried to black mail me with the same pictures again. But thanks to a friend, who didn’t let it happen. I have passed some bad days in fear. All I saw was fear everywhere. It was hard but As they say every cloud has a silver lining !

The point I was thinking about is, He may be a Monster for me. He may be bad for me. But He would be a good loving son to his mother, A caring brother to his siblings and an obedient son to his father ! His family would have never seen the Monster inside him. He can be a Monster for the whole world, but when it comes to his family, he is a good guy like others. Why ?

Because there is a monster inside each one of us ! We behave bad sometimes to some people and we are the best for some other people. Sometimes, time matters and at other times , people matters but we are all the same ! The Monster inside us forces us to do things he want. And we are all scared of revealing this monster to the people we love. We try to hide this monster from the people we care about. The thought that what would happen to us, if our loved ones come to know what are we from inside, scares us to death !

I am reminding a true story right now in my mind. There was a man living with his family near our house. He was caring and loving to his family like everyone. And then I heard the news. One day he entered his home with an axe in his hand. He first cut the legs and necks of his own daughters. Then cut his son and wife too with the same axe. Police caught him and when they asked him the reason behind what he did. He said, It wasn’t me. Something forced me to do this and it prevailed my mind so badly that I lost my thinking power. And I did that. He was crying hard with pain. Pain that his Monster caused to him and The thought that the thing he did, can never be re-winded !

The Monster I just talked about,was a big one ! We all have small monsters hidden inside us. Some Monsters become happy when they see the others in pain. Some monsters become happy when they can irritate the people under them Some monsters are of the kind that they enjoy seeing the misery of other people. Some Monsters become happy when they see people less successful then they are . Some Monsters are happy when they see other people failing in things they are passed. The ways are different, But almost all monsters want the same. They are bad, and watching bad things happening to people around them makes them happy.

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Ego is the best friend of these Monsters and Mutiny is the best mate. They grow bigger taking the shoulders of Ego. That is why I have heard Senior people saying that There is no ego and self respect in Love. If you Love someone with all your heart , whether it is the human love or the real Love, You have to sacrifice your Ego. And Love is a feeling where no Monster can exist.

You may be disagreeing with my point. We see a lot of people around us who are good to everyone. We can’t even think there can be any bad thing inside them . We respect them with all our heart.  The thing is, they are successful in suppressing the monster inside them. The more the one is successful in suppressing it, the more he succeeds in becoming a good person.

Take some time from your busy life and think ! Think what were the places where your monster took the charge and He let you do bad things. Things you regret and You want to go back and erase them . The things you think you would never do if you have a chance now. There are many things in my life too. Now try to understand the nature of your monster. How he behaves at some points when He want you to do evils. There may be some specific areas you need to work on. If you have figured them out, Try to think about them in your mind, that you won’t let your monster took over it again. You are strong enough to fight against your monster. Once this thought is settled in your mind, The Monster will be grounded forever !

We fight daily with our monster. He says us to do a thing and then our conscious and heart says no it is wrong and we leave it. If we see it in the light of religion, Then it is our ‘Nafs’ Who is the Monster. You all are aware of it. It is said repeatedly by Allah to suppress our ‘Nafs’. People who are successful in suppressing it, are the good ones in eyes of Allah. But we are so trapped in the puzzle of our ‘Nafs’ that we are forgetting the good inside us. We grow our ‘Nafs’ daily by letting him eat our good. He do what he wants, all day long.  “Nafs’ would be the biggest reason for our sufferings. It may let us enjoy here, But we will be caught in its trap hereafter !

I see a lot of mass killings happening all around the world. A lot of innocent children are murdered in front of their mothers. Many girls are raped in-front of their fathers. People go for their work and they are shot by unknown people. Robberies, thefts and Kidnapping are on their peak. No one feels safe now. The people who are so called ‘rulers’ of us, are doing nothing but eating pop-corns and watching these things like we watch a movie. Why is that so ? Are these the Monsters who are trying to undertake the whole world ? Is the power of good so less that it can’t control the power of evil ? I don’t think so.

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Well that is a joke ! It may be the matter of time. All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing. At this time it may look like the evil is going to succeed but at the last , good always wins ! I hope that truth is stronger in the end than any evil or misfortune in the world.I am waiting for that time. I have hope in me, I know I will see the sun of good rising one day. Sometimes I wonder, is there something like “Karma” in this world ?

Time To Show Off A Bit ;)

Hey !!

No I am not that kind of person as you may be thinking from the title 😉

But this is my right to say, I got another Blog Award ! Yaaaaaaayyyy 😀

I receive awards daily, In the form of your comments and likes. And I feel honored. Really honored ! My readers have given me so much Love that I can’t even handle it 🙂  While replying to a bundle of comments daily, I feel Loved and blessed. I want to tell you that the reason I am writing and I  haven’t stopped writing is you people.

I am loving the blogging experience and I can sit all day on my laptop and stare at the stats page 😀 I Love when readers understand my feelings through my writings. And I love when they express their care and Love to me. I love you guys ….So very much !

So Now About the blog Award, Will BS Brooks nominated me for the Shine On Award from the family of blogger Awards and I am really grateful to him ! I Thank Him with all my heart for giving me this Award !

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Shine On Award

To Officially receive this Award I have to mention who created this award, Write 7 things about me and Nominate 15 people for this award. So Here It goes !!

*Who created this award : willc88

*7 Facts About Me : (-Any resemblance to another person or place is purely coincidental 😉 )

1- I like to eat rice with a fork rather than a spoon 😛

2- I love stuff toys and I have almost 15 dolls at the age of 21 ! Though I don’t play with them now 😀

3- I have three diaries from my childhood which are full with autographs from my friends and teachers. I still read them when I miss my childhood 🙂

4- I love sea sides but I have never been to one 😦

5- I steal coke from my own fridge and when my mom asks who has done it, I start staring at the ceiling with narrow eyelids and wicked smile 😀

6- I love kids and in free times, I use to think about what will I do to my own baby and how would I love him/her 😛

7- Me and my brothers gather here in my room daily to watch ‘Dexter’ Together 😛

I guess these are the most stupid facts one may have described about oneself ever 😀 Pardon me if I sound extreme stupid 😉

* Nominations for This award :

1- SahrishS

2- randomlyabstract

3-Khaula Nazir

4-Moniba

5-Arindam Saha

6-Pieces of 8

7- annedarmawan

8-Kazi Mustakim

9-cabrogal

10-coastalmom

11-Ellespeth

12-Ajaytao2010

13-Eddie

14-Dr_IQ

15-busymindthinking

Thanks again For the honor ! Love xx

Life Is About Making People Happy

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Once some one asked an old man , ” You are so old now, your hair have turned white, but I see you happier than other people. You don’t seem to be unhappy with your life like others. Is it fake ? ”

He replied , ” I have to pass my life, whether laughing or crying. Life would pass if I cry and it would pass if I laugh. If we have to pass our life with our consent then why pass it crying ? ”

It made me think he was right. Life seems complicated to us because we can’t see its inner beauty.

Life is like a walk to the beach Some people go there to search for shells and in the morning .  Right after sun rises they find pearls scattered all over the sand. Some people go there in search of pearls , they sometimes dive deep into the water but they find every shell empty. Life and sea both are too suspenseful. They are not under man’s wishes.

Life is something very strange. It gives things and takes things. It gives rain to the sea but takes water from it to make clouds.  It takes a lot of effort from farmers and gives them crops. It gives water and minerals to a stem and takes flower out of it. It takes a lot of love from the parents for their children and gives parents the wish to see their children according to what parents dream.

Life is full of colors, like a beautiful newly blossomed flower. With all the colors and shine, It pleases the eyes only if eyes want to be pleased. Life is easy for the people who search for happiness in every moment of it. And difficult for people like me, who want to remain in their misery . Who are not willing to get over their pain and step forward to enjoy life. They sit in front of the same closed door , knock and knock again in the hope that it will open some day. They don’t see the door that was opened when the first one was closed. They are blind folded. They get their part of happiness from life after covering a long long journey.

I once read, “Do what you have to do. Don’t do what you wish for or is your desire. You will feel difficulty in doing it at first. But then “what you have to do” will become what you wish to do. This is the source of happiness and peace ”

When a person decides to start the journey of life, he always chooses the easiest path. He never plans to go higher so that he may be scared to come back down. He just starts his journey. The one who don’t fights with life, gets his destination very easily.

Life is easy if we don’t poke into others matters and if we engage our minds in thinking about ourselves and not other people. If we don’t point out other people’s bad habits and attitudes and just concentrate in making our habits and attitudes good. If we don’t talk about people in their backs. If we don’t gossip about what other people are doing and saying. Life is about pleasing people . Once the people are happy with you , you will be happy automatically. Although making people is very difficult but we can at least try.That is why keeping silent is said to be the best way to avoid problems in your life. Make you inner self good, your outer self will become good automatically.

Life is beautiful if we know howto extract its beautiful-ness out of it ! Do small pretty things for the people around you. Prepare some recipe  for your mom. Text a friend and tell them how they mean to you so much. Buy a card , write some sweet things on it and put it in your fathers room. Buy a small everyday use gift for your brothers. Give the dress or something from your make up to your sister which she likes the most and hug her. Kiss your daughter and tell her You Love her. Do sweet things to people like listening to their problems and suggest possible solutions to them. Care for them, when they are sick and they need you. Take some time out from your life may be at weekends and help a poor child study. While going shopping, give some money to the poor children . Try to make people around you happy. Stop caring about yourself only !

Thinking bad about people, making Conspiracies about them, Making them feel bad with your words and realizing them their mistakes,  causing troubles for them indirectly and doing things which helps you but cause problems to people make life ugly . Every one has problems in one’s life. But no one faces problems more than he can carry . Overcoming the pain and extracting happiness out of life is the real task !

True Happiness :)

True Happiness 🙂

Be happy and make people around you happy. This is message of the day.

I strongly condemn the killings of Innocent people and children in any part of the whole world !!

“I Love you mama ! ”

“Oh I Love you too my son ! ”

“Now go to school, I will make something special for you to eat today ! Have you taken your lunch box with you ? ”

“Yes Mom ! ”

She kissed her forehead and he ran away towards his school.

She was busy all day in doing things for him. She waited and waited but he never got back home.

“It is being so late, what happened ? Why is he not back yet ? ” She questioned herself.

Suddenly the door bell rang. She hasted towards the door and opened it hoping to see the face of her son. But there was a man standing there.

” There was a drone attack at the elementary school where your son studies. Go search for him.” He said

He was mentioning some other details but she was not listening. Her vision got blur and she was shocked for a moment. It felt like someone has pushed a knife through her heart. She screamed at once, started running towards the school. Without covering her head and her feet she was running. She felt that way is never going to end.

Here she was, at the place where there use to be a school. A school where her son use to study everyday. Dashed to the ground , destroyed, destructed . Looked like there never happens to be any building before. She was screaming , she was running here and there to find her son, she was asking for help .

Then at last she saw her beloved, apple of her eyes, Her son. Laying down on a pile of mud and cement, wounded, covered in blood. She felt her soul leaving her body slowly. She came near him, scared, terrified, shocked, frightened, abashed, anxious, rattled, no words can describe her state.

He was dead already. Many innocent angels were killed in this Drone Attack in Afghanistan. (more…)

Late Night Thoughts !

Dark Beautiful Night

Dark Beautiful Night

Standing along the hall way on the second floor in front of my room. It is dark out there.  With the cool breeze passing by me, I look  towards the sky. How can it be so calm and silent ? I question  myself and suddenly burst into tears ! With my lips folded , I am trying to hold back my tears but I can’t. I sat down along the pillar. With tears falling all over my cheeks I started thinking why am I crying. A lot of questions came into my mind and more tears came out. I can hear the echo of questions more clearly now.

I once showed my hand to a girl who knew watching hands with a promise not to tell about my future but just present. She said your mind thinks in so various dimensions at a time. Also you are very sensitive. I feel both things true right now. There are many things going on in my mind. I don’t even decide about which to think of in detail. I just want to know the answers. Why am I not so calm and quiet like this sky, like this night. I am the same dark from inside like this night is and I hide many secrets inside me like this night does.Then why can’t I find peace like this night has in it ?

I just wipe of my tears brutally with my hands and started thinking over again. What am I ? Who am I ? What am I supposed to be ? What should I do ? I am running out of answers. Why do my heart always pinches me inside whenever I see or read something I wished in the past ? Is that wish still inside my heart making me helpless and weak ? I don’t know.

How would I live with the things I never wished about but know they would be a part of my life soon ? Am I that brave ? I guess not. There is fear, there is pain and there is misery. Yes I am scared of my future. I am scared of revelation of my inner self to people who care about me. My mask of happiness is bruised now. It is breaking and I can’t help it.

Is hope an answer to that ? Have I lost hope or Still have it somewhere hidden in my heart ? I can’t think of it. I don’t know it. I am closing my eyes I can’t see my self destroying. It hurts !! It hurts a lot! I wonder why everything seems so deep at night like I feel myself ?

I see people around me with laughter and smiles , playing around with their life and having fun. Then why do I always feel the need to cry ? I want to cry hard right now, I want to scream . I want to take out all the tears and worries and pain inside me all at once. I need a shoulder to cry on. I need someone to console me. to listen to me whatever meaningless things I say. To be with me whatever I say not to leave me alone. And I have no one. I forgot I was like this night, It is alone too.  It can see my real face , it looks right into my eyes and never judges me.

What was the reason I was sent to this earth? What was the reason I was given those great parents and loving family? What was the reason I got all the people in my life I have now ? What was the reason I got the Love Of God by means of Love of human ? Why am I still hanging in between the God’s Love and Human’s love at a time ? No Answers….. My heart is shedding tears silently and my mind is not responding. Probably it has no answers left. No words to say anything that will calm me down.

I wonder why is my vision getting so blur. Why ca’t I see things clearly ? I want to see the depth of this  beautiful night. Everything become so intense and true at night. I want to ask a few things to it. May be it answers ! Resist, Resist and resist ! That is what I do all the time. I resist to express my feelings. I resist to open up. I resist to get things I like. I resist to do things I want. This resistance was an answer to my worries by my True Love. He said if you resist here in this world, you will get everything in the next one and the next one is far more long and good then this one. I am acting upon it ! It seems hard sometimes but I try my best. He said don’t do things which I don’t like and I try not to do them He said you will succeed if you do what I tell you in my book. I try to follow everything. He says you will find peace if you will come to me five times a day. I do it, but I don’t find peace. I want to know the answer, why ? Why am I still empty handed ?

I know these questions would keep biting me inside until I would be eaten and destroyed completely. I hope My True Love give me answers to these. I want to be with Him. I want to get Him. I love when He talks to me and show me signs. Hope is a single way for me now. Hope brings happiness and hope is the answer, ambiguous but that’s all I have. As Einstein says,   “Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.”

I just saw clouds floating on the sky. They look beautiful. Darkness is getting lighter slowly. I stood up , walk with tired steps towards my bed. Here I sleep , again with headache spreading all over my head and tears making my pillow wet. Another night passed, Hoping for a bright morning to come!

Hope For A Beautiful Morning

Hope For A Bright Morning

Good Memories Of My Hostel Life

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My university

My hostel life is about to end now ! Just three months left behind out of long four years. I have gone through thick and thin during this life. Faced hard times with good times too.

I remember the first day when I was here with my mom and dad to take a tour of hostel. And some of the girl living there took me to her room and showed me the hostel. I was so scared back then, I came to my mom and dad and started crying ! I don’t know what was making me cry. Hostel or going away from my parents but I cried in front of a teacher and my parents that day. And my parents kept consoling me !

Then the first day , when I entered my room with my stuff. My room mate showed me the wardrobe and other things. And I was so scared inside that day. Seniors came , tried to make me laugh and speak but I smiled. I faked a smile the whole day and I was up all night. I can’t sleep.

Then time started passing. I hated my university and hostel at the first place but then they started becoming a part of my life, a part of me ! I laughed and cried here. It was big four years ! The place where I grew up, where I got mature and where I learned what life is about actually ….

I should say I had the most memorable time of my Life here. Today Sitting in a quiet room I want to recall all the Good things I did here. How I enjoyed with my friends and How I had so much fun. I should remember that I should stop complaining to myself about my life.

I remember in first year, When our hostel warden didn’t issued us passes to go out. and we all were so desperate to go out and have dinner. I faked the signatures of warden lol without practicing and no one recognized that ! I don’t know why we were not scared of doing this back then

And when we went out to eat ice cream from MC Donalds at 10 o clock at night and we were so afraid while coming back in the rickshaw and the rickshaw driver change the route to our university . We felt like he is kidnapping us but he was a good person .

Can’t forget how we use to eat together. Every time at lunch and dinner we four friends gather in the mess to eat. How we use to talk so much and Laugh so much. We sit for hours talking and talking and never stop. How we use to stay up all night just to have gossips.

Recently we had a water fight while it was raining . We were standing at terris enjoying rain and we started splashing filthy water towards each other. It was great fun !

How we use to get up early in the morning and went out to have breakfast. I never had breakfast somewhere out when I was at home. And the jokes we use to make at each other while eating naan chanaas and halva puri.

Can’t remember my last birthday When my friends planned a small surprise party for me and I was so happy to see all that and when one of my friends rubbed the cake all over my face to wish me 🙂 It was the best birthday ever !

How we use to go out to some restaurant for having dinner and after looking at the menu when we feel prices are high we slipped out of there saying ” We don’t like your interior” or “We are coming back we just forgot something”

1

I can’t even remember many things at the moment . But I must say, I am going to miss my hostel life hard !

It is all about cherishing the moments you have. Live the moments you get to their full potential. So that their is no regret left behind. And I must say there should be some memories in the form of pictures or a daily diary to mention all the happenings. It is fun when you sit alone far away from this place and remind yourself of all the things. It gives you comfort and happiness !

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Cherishing the moments

nczn

My University

Who Are “People” ?

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Realities need to be hidden. Once they are disclosed, Their darkness comes out and then they are hard to accept ! Hard to realize!

Everyone learns from the place, the environment He lives in and the problems he faces. From the people around him and from their acts. No matter how important the people are to you, whether your mom,dad,brothers, sisters, cousins or even friends, They are In fact “people”. The same people about which

Albert Einstein says

“The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don’t do anything about it.” 

And Will smith says

“Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad. Let God deal with the things they do, cause hate in your heart will consume you too.”

And Wayne Dyer says

“How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.”

“People” are the ones who do something with others and when someone do the same to them, They Scream Loud. As If something out of the world happened to them. Come on ! It was the same thing you did to others but there is no one to tell you that on your face.

“People” are the ones who never appreciate you , what you always do for them. Never mention the things they were supposed to do, But you did those things for them. Never even realize what favors you do to them without even mentioning. And in return, Taunt you for the small mistakes you make unconsciously ! And judge you from your mistakes !

“People” are the ones who make fun of you when yo are not here. Talk about you In a bad way with others As if they hate you so much. And in the same moment, If you appears , They put a smile on their face and say ” Hey ! so good to see you 🙂 ” .

“People” are the ones who never trust you but want you to trust them. “People” are the ones who take you for granted. ” People” are the ones who hurt you , give you pain for their own amusement. Who make fun  of you in front of others and get peace inside them.

BUT

“People” are the ones, who, despite through all the things they make you suffer, Puts a smile on your face. Bring laughter’s with their jokes and make you happy. Who are dear to you. These are the people you Love, You live with and you laugh with. You spend your whole lives with. Who are your treasures for life.

I never understood people actually. They are the most unexpected things, The most scary when their inner is revealed to you and The greatest support when their inner is hidden.

Every one has a dark evil hidden inside. We hide it from the world with colors of rainbow but rainbow is just an illusion . It is just a reflection, nothing real. Eventually the evil vanishes the rainbow and spreads dark. Your success depends on how long you hide yourself from the world.

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I chose loneliness for my self. I don’t want to follow the path of “People”. I can’t do what they do. The world is spoiled. I don’t want to be like them. I have chosen my own way and I can walk without any help from people. People leave you, Allah never. And Allah is sufficient for me.

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I would mention the people who were a big cause of my changed life and habits. Who changed me, In the next post. Tell me what you think of “people” and what are your thoughts. I would love to hear from you !

“Go With The Flow” VS “The Positive Theory”

I was once talking to a friend. He told me a story.

He said I was once sitting with a friend and He asked me how is everything going ?

And I replied               ” Just going with the flow”.

He then replied          ” Only dead straws go with the flow”

That was thought provoking. I use to apply the same theory to my life. Whenever my heart pinches me, I don’t want this to happen to you. I used to tap it gently and said ‘”just go with the flow”.

Whenever there was some problem in my life, I used to say to myself  “just go with the flow”.

Whenever I feel depressed and broken and find no way out, I wanted things to get normal again, I put my head down and remind myself of “just go with the flow” thing.

Now I feel I was dead from inside and I never tried to wake up myself. my mind and heart were dead. And i had accepted that death of them I was living with dead inner self.

But now, at the age of almost 22, I feel it wrong. I was wrong in thinking about my future. I was wrong in thinking about what will happen to me next and why. I used to think whatever happens to me, I deserved it ! It was due to what I did in the past. But I was being negative !! I was hopeless !!

I noticed one of my friends. I have seen her being negative about so many things but she never thought negative about her future. She always says something good will happen to me, she never felt hopeless like me. Even she use to dream really big about her future life. And I have seen her every wish coming true. Even I feel it like a miracle. We use to make fun of her like she has a losers approach or something. She always said she don’t try but she wishes , and her wishes comes true. Trying with wishing will make it even better I guess !!

I have noticed so many people who apply just go with the flow theory in their life and do nothing , wish nothing and pray nothing for it. On the other hand, people doing nothing but thinking positive got success!

Once I read about the positive energy. They say whenever you think something about anything very much, It will eventually come to you. Like when you will think positively, all the positive energies of universe will collectively start trying to get that thing to you … and eventually that will come to you. And this is true. The same happens when you think negative about something. Our mind emits positive and negative rays as we think and these rays eventually become a cause to get that thing for us. There is some science involved in it. As many secrets of universe are yet to be revealed, it may be one of them.

(more…)

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