The Cute Little Angel and Cancer

Burning-Candles-candles-10333041-1024-768

I was constantly staring at that cute little fairy wandering in the crowd fearlessly. She was probably 5 or 6 years old, wearing a stunning pink and white dress. Half of her hair were tied in a band while half of them were scattered on the forehead. It was a traditional Mehndi function and the stage In front of the groom was covered in lighted candles fixed in small clay containers. She would go running towards the stage and try to touch those candles and her mother would come to her, pick her up and take her back to the table where her family was sitting. She was eager to touch the candles so whenever her mother would get busy she would run towards the stage.

In that boring purposeless function, the only prettiest thing that indulged me was that beautiful angel. I love babies and children and I always wished I could have a cute baby girl like her. Her Mother gave birth to her brother a month ago. They live in UK and are our relatives.

Today I heard that she is diagnosed with blood Cancer. I was shocked and terrified and I felt like my heart has stopped beating for a while. Such a cute little angel and such a dreadful disease. She is so small so innocent how would she bear such intense pain. My heart is crying for her since I have heard the news, I am worried about her and about her family specially her Mother. How would she see her little angel in such a pain. From where would she collect the courage ?

I can’t express what I am feeling right now. The point of sharing these News with you is only that you pray for her health and her long life. I have heard, and witnessed that prayers are very powerful. If everyone of you who reads my post will pray for her, may be Allah listens and May be He gives her health back to her. After all, He is the merciful and Kind.

Please take out some seconds from your busy life and give her a beautiful gift of Dua. May she recovers very soon. Ameen !

Story of a date

2d21e889cf7cbfc1a06106b3b3ca39c6

When words lost their meanings, when silence was the language

When barren was the heart, a rock , a stone, life bitter and tart

When tears were the drink, a sobbing champagne, a pain pie

I enjoyed dinner in perfect ambiance, with a partner ‘solitude’

Who being lovely enough to be hated, was a truth hidden in a lie

I danced that night , in madness, over sharp pieces of glass

With poison in stomach , wrapped in arms of ecstasy and trance

When It kissed me with knives , left me with pleasurable wounds

When I lost myself Inside me, when I was nowhere to be found

That night I was punished, in the fire of burning hell on ground

That night my soul was bruised , with all thrones gathered around

Ah! that night ended before the start, after agony became my best friend

Now every path is of pain , I want to walk without a path, is it a dead end ?

You want me to still have hope ? I have it. You want me to still try to stay happy ? I try. You want me to think positive ? I do.

I just need time to gather up myself again…..

 

 

 

 

Repentance, With Love.

945118_589024577795720_1660468426_n

A black heart, dirty soul, tear filled eyes and trembling hands….. That is all I have. I don’t worth standing in front of you…. And still I am here….. I don’t deserve your mercy….. Yet still I am begging for it.

You are The Beneficent, you are The Merciful, You are The Almighty,  You are Kind. You Love me more than every single person in the world.

I do sins and I repent. You forgive me. I do sins again an I repent again and you forgive me. How would I ever be able to return you what you have been doing for me all my life ?

And here I am…begging you again with a bundle of sins on my shoulders….. I need you with me….I need to talk to you.

I know you are angry with me. And I know you will forgive me again. This feeling is all I have….More than a treasure for me. I need the exams you take from me…I need the difficulties…I need the problems….. I have realized what you always say that exams are for special persons to whom you want to give something other than ordinary.

I have realized, a life full of comfort and happiness is nothing….. I have realized I am nothing without you….

I know the difference now when you take my exams and when you punish me….I have recognized the feeling…. I want to have more….

I want to indulge in Ishq-e-haqiqui…..I want to be your ‘Muqarab’…… I want to Live this life for you….. I know my Wishes are huge…But same is your personality Allah….and I know I am wishing it from you…… You are Almighty.

I Love you Allah tala jee I Love you….Please forgive me…..

I am running out of words…..But you know what is going on in my heart…..I don’t know fancy words to attract you….I just have a plain simple heart and soul who is filled with your Love…..You know me Allah tala and I know you will respond…..

I just want to tell you I am embarrassed….I can’t lift up my eyes…..I am feeling ashamed of myself…..and I love you.

————————————————-

Ek din Hazrat Moosa (A.S) ne Allah se kaha k mai Aapki Rehmat aur insan k gunah dekhna chahta hn Allah ne frmaya Peche dekho, Dekha to ek bohot bare Samandar k andar 1 drakht par 1 chirya apne mou mai mitti le kr bethi hai,

Hazrat Moosa (A.S) ne kaha ye kya.

Allah ne farmaya,

ye Samandar meri Rehmat hai aur ye drakht dunya , ye chirya insan aur us k mo mai jo thori c mitti hai wo us k Sare Gunah hain. Agar ye apna mo khol kr mitti(Gunah) pani mai gira de to meri Rehmat ko koi farq nhi parta. To kyun na insan touba kre aur main maaf na kron, insan to Naadan hai.

[ One day Hazrat Moosa (R.A) said to Allah that I want to see your blessing and human’s sins. Allah asked him to see behind. He saw a huge sea and a tree inside it, a sparrow sitting on that tree and some mud in its mouth.

Hazrat Moosa (A.S) said what is this ?

Allah said,

This sea is my blessings and this tree is this world, this sparrow is human being and the dirt in its mouth is all his sins. If this sparrow opens it’s mouth and throw all the dirt in water, it won’t effect my blessings . Then why not a human repents and I forgive him ? As human is unknowing.

——————————————————–

 

I should laugh.

What should I call myself ? Huh !

A loser ? A psycho patient ? A dumb idiot ? Sorry I can’t come up with a better word.

My life has been a total disaster…..I have been living in the house of my own imaginations.

All my life I thought I shouldn’t show my tears to my parents…I shouldn’t share my problems with the….They should never see me crying….. Why ? Because I thought they might get worried….I thought I have never given them any happiness so I have no right to give them pain because of me.

And today I am laughing at my thoughts. I am making fun of my own self…..

I was lying on my bed….crying and sobbing…..Reason was my parents.

They stood in the the door way…watching me. And then they left. They didn’t even say a word.  They didn’t even ask why am I crying.

They didn’t even thought I am dying for their one sentence of sympathy and care.

I am witnessing the pile of my imagination about my parents scattered on the ground right now….. And I am laughing…..

Happiness means smiling and laughing….Yeah?

So I am happy……I am so happy.

Because I know now, my parents don’t give a F*** !!

I was wandering in a black hole with no start or end and suddenly I am at the dead end !

(16th november 2013….A post written while crying and in extreme emotional imbalance)

Chalo Ab Phool Chuntay Hain (Urdu Poetry)

sad_girl_in_yellow_flowers_field-1680x1050

Chalo ab phool chuntay hain

Bohat zakham seh leyay, bohat dukh utha leye

Chalo ab kadam barhao k khushiyan chunnay ka waqt aya hai

Ao khushiyun ko ik naya taaru’f detay hain

Janti hun bohat zakhmi ho tum, Lahulahaan hai rooh tumhari

Aj bhi zakhmun se khoon rasta hai k ye zakham bharnay k naheen

Aj bhi marham milta hai na marham laganay wala

Aj b dil k dard se ankhain bojhal ho jati hain

Per bas ab aur naheen

Rooh katti phatti hai tu kya hua…. Ankhain tu salamat hain

Saans bhi chal rahi hai abhi , dil b dharakta hai seenay me

Chalo k ab phoolun ko marham banana hai

In zakhmun ko pher se chupana hai

Chalo k ab ‘mein’ ko khatam ker k ‘tu’ hona hai

Tumhari kahani ka ikhtataam aagya

Ab Allah ki likhi hue kahani shuru honi hai

Aur Allah tu apnay wadun se kabhi mukarta naheen ?

Chalo k ab khawabun ko ankhun me utarnay se pehlay

Qatal kerna seekhna hai

Chalo k ab gham ko bhi khusi bana ker

Galay lagana seekhna hai

Ansun ko dil k under utaarna seekhna hai

K ansun ko pehchannay walay log khatam ho gay

Chalo k dil ko pathar kerna hai , Zindagi ko moum kerna hai

Khizaan me bhi phool chunnay ki adat daalni hai

Is umeed per k shaid ab khizan me b pattay haray bharay rahain

Umeed per tu duniya qaem hai

Chalo hum bhi umeed lagatay hain

Pher se dia jalatay hain…..

Chalo ab phool chuntay hain……

K kuch haq hamara bhi tu hai in phoolun per ?

===================================

 

 

Scared Of GoodByes

walking_alone_by_evil_blonde_girl-d58s4ss

Scared of Goodbyes

Afraid of departures

She couldn’t bear

Fearful heart and sorrowful sighs

The good bye hugs

The tears and moans

Pain rendering faces

Missing heart beats

The thought of never meeting again

The brain bangs

Beautiful memories fading into darkness

Of never ending forest

The thick fog of flashbacks

Was contaminated by thoughts of future

Nostalgia

The full stop

Was  it all an illusion ?

Pain exploded out

Of everything

It started raining

As the sky felt her

Winds were companions

Soft and cool

Sadness prevailed

Silence shouted

Her soul shivered

She closed her eyes

Made fists

As if she was locking

Weakness in them

And

She left

Silently…..

Without saying good bye

She was scared of good byes

Back Again !

Hey ! I am here again with you people as I always say I can be absent but never for ever ! Hope you all are doing fine. I gave my final presentation and vivas and it all went very well. In fact our Group got the highest marks and stood on first position. Enjoyed alot in these three weeks with my friends… the hang outs , the lunches and dinners, the window shopping and wandering on streets…. Ahh I miss it all !

I never thought leaving my friends would be that difficult…. I never thought I got that much attached to them in these four years…. I never realized how important they were for me….. I realized all this when I was leaving and they all were crying and hugging me like never before and I was crying even harder ! I felt terrible while leaving and I wish time flies back and I value this beautiful relationship !

I never knew before why people write poems and quotations for friendship…… For me friendship was a mere relationship for a specific time…. It was because I got friends before who betrayed me…. I wasn’t aware of the taste of real friendship and when I got it, I got so much busy in enjoying it that I forgot to think about its importance. And now when sitting in my room, alone, I am feeling its importance…………. And I feel torn apart.

We understand the value of things and people truly when they leave us……. I don’t know it is human nature or the nature of some humans !

I will the time I spent in university…. I will miss my beautiful time in hostel….I will miss my friends so much….All my life. I don’t know what life has for me in the future but I know it won’t be more beautiful than the time I just passed.

Will write something about it soon….. In the mean time I have to prepare my brother for his exam.

Love you all.

Happy Birth Day My Love !

kiss i love you happy valentines day  comic cartoon ecards 3d gif animation Hearts rise from boy and girl kissing Friendship Hello Valentine animations valentine Royalty Free Clipart

Happy Birth Day My Love !

Purity of a dew drop, Softness of petals of rose

Freshness of flowers and their glamorous glows

Exquisite diamond that is one of its kind

Put them together and our Love will be defined

 

No matter how grievous our lives become

We stayed together in melancholy and glum

Multiplied our happiness, divided our sorrow

Solved our problems though how big they grow

 

The world may have no place , no respect for ‘us’

We hold hands tight for the uniqueness we possess

Love may be pain for us, Life; bitter and vicious

Dreams may be poignant , Wishes; ferocious

 

But don’t worry Love, their would be a time

When we ll laugh and our heart beats ll rhyme

When we ll have a home of our wishes and dream

When we ll be in heaven thanking the Supreme

 

You were the one who taught me to live, love and smile

Held my finger, fought with me, took me close to Allah’s aisle

You gave me the best memories, The best moments to adore

You are the sweetness in my life, the only bliss that grows more

 

The passionate kiss, the warm hug, the fine touch

The intimacy, the security in your arms pleases much

Worth the world’s Finest diamonds and precious pearls

Just remember: you are not guilty for my life’s bad whirls

 

The time we spent, The things we do, the bits we share

Are enough for me to hold on to, about what I do care

I will lay my future life’s foundation on these

As I needed ‘YOU’ in my life , not comfort and ease

 

May you live happy, May all your worries be gone

May you start a new life; with every day, a fresh dawn

I Love you and ll miss you forever, I am just here to say

Wish you a very gratified and joyous BIRTHDAY !!

The Black Rose

Black-Rose

Under the shadows of savage life , deep inside the dark forest.

A black rose possessed its tragic existence.

It was out cast and unwanted despite all its fragrance and radiance , It never fits in the relinquishing blooms.

It was cultivating loneliness in the presence of the whole forest and hence loneliness was out-grown !

It was growing thorns since the beginning as it always knew the one who dares not grasp the thorn should never crave the rose….

No one watered it, It nourished on its own till its ravishing bloom appeared…..It was always taken ‘For Granted’ and it bestowed an ancient confidence.

And one day it started burning but no one had time to grieve over it because they were busy admiring the forest…

All it ever wanted was to reach out and touch the hearts of other roses…. It wanted some Love but it forgot that all great and precious things are always lonely in the forest.

Its eyes were glued on life and they were full of tears…. It bled tears and its petals absorbed them silently…. It never gave a plaintive cry but its silence was deafening !

Slowly with the prolonged grief, the petals became pale. Autumn prevailed over it…in spring !

And then ‘Black’ was gone… All that was left was pinching thorns and pale stems. It followed the quickest path of self-destruction that was to push away all the loved ones, all the wishes.

The descent stripped it bare and left it as it was at its core, It was painful… It was abashed, ruined.

Black was gone… The beauty was gone…. The lustrous shine was turned to painful sighs…

The Black Rose was a part of the forest now !

===========================================

I have been busy these days in final presentation and stuff. I will reply to your comments as soon as I get free. I hope you will not mind and stay with me . Wish me luck. Thanks !

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Under The Spell Of Black Magic….!

tumblr_mlldzxmjmd1qbx89smg

I had been thinking about the magical things I have been hearing these days too often So here I am sharing them with you.

This is a true story from 9 to 10 years ago when I was a little kid and used to sleep in my Mom’s room on a separate small bed. I still remember it because it gives me goose bumps still when I recall it.

It was the time of mid night and everyone was sleeping. Suddenly I woke up and saw a shadow moving towards my Mom’s bed. It sat down beside her on her pillow. I felt scared and I cried “Mom there is someone sitting beside you” . She was so sleepy and without opening her eyes she pulled out her hand and punched that thing on his back with her fist and then slept again. And I was not watching a dream because I heard the sound of punching. That thing, then stood up and started walking towards the door and disappeared ! When I told my mom in the morning she said she remember me crying but there was nothing else she could recall.

I am not sure whether that really happened or I was dreaming. Since my childhood I have heard of so many stories about magic and ghosts and people who tell them claim them to be true.

Another incident happened to my father when I was in college. He went out of station and when he returned at night, his clothes were covered with blood stains. We were all so worried. He then told that he was walking towards the train and he felt like someone has pushed him from the rear and suddenly his clothes were all covered with blood and he fainted. One of the persons near by took him to his shop. He was a Hafiz-e-Quran (People who know Quran by heart) and he told my dad that
the blood is not human blood and he has been attacked by black magic, but he survived. My mom used to tell me that the same thing happened to my dad when I was a little baby. He was sitting in someone’s shop and he was covered in blood within an instant. Than he went to Qaari Saab ( Pious Hafiz-e-Qran) and he told him that he survived the attack because he was reciting Quranic verses at that time.

Despite this, I haven’t seen any type of Magic related thing in my whole life. I have listened to the stories of my friends but since I have not seen them with my eyes I don’t believe in them. I have heard stories how close relatives do magic on people out of jealousy or some other reasons and what effects this magic could have on them.

Magic can be done for giving financial crisis to people, for causing them health problems and diseases, for stopping their minds to work for studies or job, for making a person paralyze, causing heart attack or even death. I wonder how could these people sleep at nights but I have heard those people getting ruined and destructed after-wards. Some stores were related to how some homes can be under the spell of Ghosts and how they irritate people to leave them. They even go inside small kids and scare other family members.

People use different things to make magic work. These things include small written papers, small pieces of clothes, blood, meat or bones of some animal and things like that and these things are buried or hid at some place where no one could see them. And then by discarding these things and reciting proper verses the spell can be broken.

Seems like the typical Horror series or movie story ! It is weird though how we think these serials to be stupid and believe in things happening to the lives of people around us.

People who have seen these things with their own eyes believe in them and people who haven’t seen them, think them to be absurd. Specially the ‘modern’ people. I don’t know about their truth except the things I have seen by myself. But I do believe that ghosts exist and they live in this world like we do. I have also read that there is a third dimension of this world where
these type of things exist and they could sometimes interfere in the lives of humans too due to some unknown reasons. I also have heard that Ghosts have certain limitations and they can not always enter the human world .

I don’t have any kind of proof of any of these assumption to be right or wrong. I am just curious to know the hidden truths of this universe. I love Horror movies and novels too , have read couple of them and I am not scared of ghosts…  Our knowledge and wisdom is limited… God knows how many other creatures are living with us and may be reading this article with me as I am writing it ! 😉

The magic spell culture is increasing in Pakistan among the uneducated and foolish people. I have no idea whether people of other countries have to face it too or not ! Do YOU have any scary story from your own life ?

Grave Is Your Destination…

PakGraves

 

** Urdu lines are taken from a Naat read by Junaid Jamshed.

Duniya k aye musaafir , Manzil teri Qabar hai

Manzil teri qabar hai…

Tay ker raha hai jo tu, do din ka ye safar hai

du din ka ye safar hai…

O traveler of the world, grave is your destination

Grave is your destination…

The one you are travelling, is a two days exploration

Is a two days exploration…

Sitting at the back seat in the car by window side, she settled her head at corner of the window glass. Her eyes were wandering along the trees and the roads…. people of different ages on various vehicles, In a hurry to reach somewhere, to do something…. alone or with their families…. Colorful clothes…. Chatting , smiling faces…… Energetic and glowing children running by the road side…. bright blue clouds…. It was Eid day… Eid which is a second name for happiness……..

Ankhon sa tu nay apni , kitnay janazay dekhay ?

Hathon sa tunay  apnay , dafnay kitnay murday ?

Dafnay Kitnay murday….

Anjam sa tu apnay , kyun itna be khabar hai ?

Kyun Itna Be khabar hai…

With your own eyes, how many funerals have you witnessed ?

With your own hands, How many dead’s have you buried ?

How many dead’s have you buried…

Of your consequence, why are you so ignorant ?

Why are you so ignorant…

She had a bad mood since morning that day… She cried over small things… It was Eid ! She was supposed to be happy but she locked herself in her room and cried her heart out laying down on the floor… She realized her last Eid was the same… It started with tears too…and the third last Eid….and the previous ones… She realized ‘Eid’s ‘ are not made for her…. She realized her ‘Eid’ had not come yet… She realized she had no part in today’s happiness…… Or any happiness at all ?

Why ? Why don’t I have the right to feel happy like normal people ? Why don’t you feel me ? She had questions for Him….. He was not answering !

Then she realized she had been thinking about her past and the future , all her life…every moment of her present , she never had a present. Her present was filled with thoughts of the past or worries of the future. She thought, what If she dies today , this very moment ? What has she done to herself ?

Makhmal main sonay walay, mitti main so rahay hain

shah o gada yaha per , sub ek ho rahay hain

Sab aik ho rahay hain….

Dono hoye barabar ye mout ka asar hay

Ye mout ka asar hai…

The ones who slept in silk, are sleeping now in clay

Kings and servants here, are all getting same…

Are all getting same…

Both got equal, this is the effect of death

This is the effect of death…

Her mom was calling her….She was saying her to get ready…to wear colorful clothes…to be lively…. And she was dead already. She never knew for what parents is this said,  that they can know what is in your heart by looking at your eyes…

She had to be happy for the ones who love her and who can’t see her sad. She had to live in present for some time. She had to get rid of the unending dark loneliness inside her… May be thinking about life is not what should be done. May be death is the ultimate truth to be thought of….She stood up. She had to fake it again.

After all the fear of death follows from the fear of life….

 

 

The Day When Personal Passion Was Sacrificed For The Highest Love

Eid Al Adha 2013 Wallpapers (sd1)

Hundreds of years ago….. A perfect complete home with a father and a son included. Both of them were filled with the same beautiful Love and compassion that is an essence of human nature since first man was forged into the world.

Father once had a dream, a hallucination, that he is sacrificing his son for Allah. Back in those times, Allah used to communicate with people through definite signs, How felicitous and fortunate they were !

The next night . he again witnessed the very dream. Postulating it to be a true one, as all his former dreams proved out to be true, He conceived from it that Allah demanded a sacrifice from him. In order to accomplish Allah’s command, he sacrificed a herd of camels and disseminated the meat among the poor.

Repeatedly in the following nights he witnessed the same dream and did the same sacrifices. Still, the dream didn’t cease. Then he had second thoughts.

He called his beloved son and elaborated him the story , he said “O my son! I have seen you being sacrificed in a dream; what do you say?”(The Quran: 37:102)

The son, being aware of the fact that his father is a prophet of Allah, replied without any reluctance: “O my father! Do what you are commanded; if God please, you will find me of the patient ones” — (The Quran: 37:102).

The father , the son and his mother…. everyone though being anxious and shaken inside, were delighted and overjoyed over getting a chance to serve Allah. How sacramental they were !

Fatherly tender Love and child’s fond affection was going to be sacrificed for the Greater Divine. On their way to alter, they were distracted and horrified by the Satan but they didn’t let anything come in their way.

At the Altar the son threw himself prostrate before his illustrious father, who blindfolded as he was, lest his parental love should come in the way, applied the knife to his son’s throat. An exemplary conduct of complete submission to the will of Allah; sacrificing his only son in His way! The soul of Abraham within himself was praising the Lord, saying: “My prayer and my sacrifice and my life and my death are all for God, the Lord of the worlds”.

Angels stood metamorphosed, as it were, into lifeless pictures and overcome by extreme anxiety. 

“God is great; God is great; God is great; God is great; There is no Allah, but He. And God is great; All praise for God.”

My words and my wisdom is not enough to pen down the great light and the essence of that very happening….

Abraham was about to cut the throat of his only son. But lo! He heard a voice from Above:

“O Abraham! you have indeed shown the truth of the Vision; thus We reward the doers of good. Surely this is a manifest trial” — (The Quran: 37:104-106).

The Patriarch laid down the knife and there was rejoicing mingled with thanksgiving that God had accepted the Sacrifice. It dawned on him what his Vision really meant – viz., that what God wanted was not the blood of his son but the sacrifice of that highest of love which a father has for his son and vice-versa. It was the sacrifice of personal passion that was acceptable to God and that was done both by the father and the son. The father and son fell down in prayer praising their Lord.

From that day, to commemorate this outstanding act of sacrifice (qurbani) by Prophet Abraham, people sacrifice a lamb, goat, ram or any other animal on Eid-ul-Adha and give the meat to friends, neighbors, relatives and the needy. Eid is celebrated with a great zeal and enthusiasm by the Muslims all over the world.

In-spite of judging the intentions of other people behind the sacrifice, Can’t we just do our part honestly ?

I wish all My brothers and sisters a very Happy Eid Mubarik ! People who are away for Hajj , a very warm Congratulations to them too ! 

Eat lots of meat (only your part 😉 ), get fat and remember me in your prayers 🙂

 

 

You Say Equal Rights, I Say Equal Respect !

gender_equality_by_aymulan

” Gender Equity is a thought-provoking direction”

“Men and women should have equal rights”

“They are same”

These were the slogans of one the protest happening in Pakistan with lots of women of every age with modern clothes and expensive make-up on their face shouting their mouths out under hot sun with sun-blocks on their skin !

These are the same women who go to their homes full of servants and sit in air conditioned rooms and insult their female servants and maids. Who don’t even move themselves to get a glass of water and who say a word out of their mouth and their husbands have to follow it. Then the same women brag about what social work they are doing by protesting for Equal right for men and women. Yes they can say that because they see the same thing in their own homes…. Both of them, wife and husband have pockets full of money and both of them work in hugs offices to earn this money !

They say , ” If you can’t cook , get out of kitchen ! “

2009-539--women-frontline-troops-

But the women working at homes and Growing their children and men working hard from dawn to dusk for their children and raising their family can ask for equal rights and equality ?

I am against the concept of equal rights and equality for men and women. Men and women can never be equal. Both have their own strengths and both have their own weaknesses. No one can take place of the other and both with all their different unique capabilities are necessary to run the society  successfully. Then how come we ask for equal rights ?

If we talk about Islam, Women were treated as inferior creatures before Hazrat Muhammad (PBUH) that they were buried alive . After Him , they were given many rights in society regarding property and other but they were never called as equal to men. They were given greater respect then men but at the same time it was said that they can never take place of men. Men are born to earn and run the family and women have to stay inside to raise their families. They can go out too to earn but under certain restrictions and boundaries. Both of them are born with different natures. I can’t say men should be preferred on women neither am I saying men are superior to women. Both are at an equal place but with their own unique capabilities.  Women will create more imbalance in the society if they would try to do the work men are made for doing. That is why a women ruler is said to be always destructive because Ruling is a characteristic of men.

Nowhere in Quran Allah said that Man is superior to woman. Instead He said

“We created you from a male and female, made you into nations and tribes, so that you may come to know one another. Truly the most honored of you in God’s sight is the greatest of you in piety “ 49:13

Women have their own rights to life, to learn, own and dispose of property, choose a husband, right as a wife, standard of living, right to be treated equally, right to divorce, right to inherit and right to a final will. Men have their own rights.

I am on the side of demanding equal respect for both men and women but when it comes to feminism and equal rights for men and women, I am Sorry I deny it !

 

 

demotivation.us_Women-want-equal-rights-Some-men-doesnt-have-anything-against-it_132126420430

nam-nu-binh-quyen

I Am Getting Married.

Yes I am getting married. It took me 1 and a half YEAR to realize this single reality…I am getting married.

Though the things beyond this fact are blur. Getting married to whom ? What do I feel ? Why I am doing this ? Why is all this happening ? Everything is blur.

I am going to be a computer scientist in another month. I Love my field now . I got the highest grades and GPA In my class. I am a so called intelligent student in the eyes of teachers. And yet….I am getting married. Just after the completion of my studies.

People say me to be optimistic about my future ! Can I ? Yes I know I should………..!!

The one I wished to pass all my life with….saw all my future dreams with….planned my future with…..is lost in the fog of time and fate !

The one I am going to have a future with….. I never thought about him….I have no feelings , an empty heart for him. This is the future I have to look up to !

I don’t know If I won’t be getting married , I would be doing any job or studying further , My life would be better in Future.

I don’t know either my life would be good with all that seems obvious. I don;t know anything. I am confused.

It took me 1 and a half year to realize the fact that I am getting married. I don’t know how much time I would take to accept the person of my fate.

My Allah and then my parents chose him for me…..and I accepted their wish…with my eyes closed. I couldn’t kill the happiness of my parents . I never gave them any happiness except this one. I am not selfish.

That was the time I stopped wishing for myself. Its hard when you get wounds all over your soul….by the broken pieces of your dreams….and you find no remedy…..no cure.

I have made room for pain in my heart. I know I have to live with what I am given I know I have to accept and I have to Move on !!

It is a difficult task.

Anyway…… I am getting married on 15th February 2014 and You all are Invited.

 

There should be some caring people to give me their shoulder. After all I need four of them. After all ‘Red’ color is getting ‘white’ for me. After all my marriage may be my funeral.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Be With Me O Merciful !

999144_455430214575536_994244302_n

When life is at pause, when time stops and when the trees and birds are still

When my eyes stare at a point in the air , the point that is abstract that is nil

When my body turns into exquisite glass, the vessel through which vision can pass

When a warm stroke of pain emerge from heart and spreads in all the body very fast

When it starts flowing in my blood and with my breath It spreads profusely at last

When it penetrates in every inch of the flesh , Every part whether brain or heart

When my body screams out loud when my heart beats rowdy in my chest

This is the time when a pleasure , a bliss arise and spreads in my body at rest

I become tranced I feel the felicity and solace cascading in my blood

I cry but my heart is stunned in the fun, In the pleasure of this pain’s flood

When I never ask for the pain to stop, when I want it more and more

When the vessel and soul’s desires are opposite, no longer do they adore

Outside; Tears , shiver and pain , Inside; Pleasure , amusement and gain

When I calmly start feeling ‘Him’ Inside myself, while effaced is the pain

When ‘His’ Love then percolates through my blood my soul and my mind

When I feel ‘Him’ closer to the vein in my neck, My breath says ‘He’ is divine

When the vessel made of glass dances with the dance of soul

Dances in the shadow of ‘His’ light, ‘He’ is the partner ‘He’ is the whole

When my mind is stuck on the thought to talk , to see and to Meet ‘Him’

When I forget myself and ‘He’ is left as my world and as my self esteem

I bow and I cry , I become your servant I am the one who needs to find

Be with me O Merciful ! Be with me O My Lord ! Be with me O Kind !

Turning To A Zombie

zombie_girl_by_portohle-d5ung86

Days purposeless, lifeless

Nights sleepless, weep-less

Mind powerless, thinking-less

Heart feeling-less, emotionless

Eyes tear-less, fearless

A little brain making me alive

Turning to a Zombie, I survive

Those awake nights with tears

Have disappeared in fog

But still I stand filled with fears

With all the hollowness and less hope

I flow with the flow of life

A zombie walk on streets

He hunt people to survive

And I get my own meat to eat

Mind collapsed, fainted, wrecked

They hold secret of eternal life in it

Depression, pain and schizophrenic attacks

My forever friends no longer dwell

My life has possessed some weird days

A state between happiness and hell

A zombie life is indeed pleasant

Nothing to feel, Nothing to repent

Life is turning to a meaningless dream

Awareness-less, Search-less, direction-less

Praying , longing…… for pain, for screams

As Pain takes everything, gives everything, doubtless !

May Be I Am Thinking Too Much !

17740_10151850511793185_985991014_n

I have no memories of my childhood with my parents. Every time I sit back and start thinking , How I use to be with my parents, what were the things I did with them, anything ? There comes nothing ! Except the things told by other people and my parents. They tell me I was so adorable and everyone who see me wants to hold me … There are pictures of me when I was 2 or 3 years old and then there is a complete blank without any pictures till I was 14 or 15. May be my parents lost their camera in my childhood.

I have some memories of this time period in school and with my friends. I remember every friend I had during it. I remember how we use to play , how we use to chat with each other and how we use to spend the recess time during school.

I remember I use to make houses with dry mud ! I was expert in it back then. All my friends use to gather around me sitting in the mud with clean white uniforms and we had no fear of ‘how we look’ to the people back then. They use to gather accessories for the house I was making. Some leaves , some yellow fur like thing and some beads like things from the trees and some colorful wrappers ! Till then I make a pile of dry mud and through it , I use to make the first floor and plain it with my hands. So perfect like we plain the surface of Cake with cream while making it . Then the second floor and some times the third floor. Then comes the turn of accessories and I use to decorate it like I am doing a task that would change my life, so keenly. When it was done, my friends use to clap for me .

May be back then I had a thought embedded in my mind , of my future. May be back then I knew I won’t have a chance to make the home of my choice and decorate it . May be I knew I would be forced to live in a home that would be never a home for me. So I already fulfilled all my wishes for a home with mud and tree accessories !

I remember I was the best in every game we use to play . I ran faster than each of my friend and won every single race back then. We use to play doge-the-ball , hide-and-seek, catch-me and many other games and I always use to win. My friends use to fight with each other to become my partner in any game. I was the one they look up to when deciding what game we will play and for resolving the fights.

May be back then I knew I would lose at every single step in my real life. So I won everything already back then. I already felt the pleasure of winning. I never realized life is not a game. We can win games but even the best player loses in his life !

I had a special pattern regarding my studies. I noticed it when I was 15. I stood first in class for the first , second and third years. Then I was an average or you can say below average in fourth, fifth and sixth years. Then again I topped my class in the seventh , eighth and ninth years. Tenth year was a disaster ! It was the year I started getting spoiled . Followed by the first two years of college. Making again the three years. Now in university I have passed four years and they were remarkably good. I would never be able to understand this cycle related to my studies. I want to know though.

I Guess I need a psychiatrist. May be he could give me answers I want to know. But I know I would never be able to ask anyone .

Three weeks back when I was in my home and it was the last day there. I had to come back here in hostel the next day. I was laying down with all my family. My dad, mom, and the brothers. We were chatting and then my dad started recalling his past. The things I heard were shocking !

He told us that he always felt alone back then even with his parents and siblings around. He said there is a hollowness inside him that was never filled even by his daughter and sons and wife ! He said when he was 15 he felt this hollowness so much that he started saying that his parents are not real and he is adopted that is why he feels like this. When his parents , my grandfather asked him why he is saying all this. He said you should know the answer. You are my parents and you are behind everything I feel since the childhood. My mom then told me that my father had a diary that was filled till the end with poetry. All sad poetry with the same topics , loneliness and sadness.

Tears were falling down from my eyes and absorbing in the pillow as I was hearing this. But it was dark so no one could see them. I was shocked and hurt at the same time while knowing this. These were the same feelings all he described that I use to feel all my life. The same pattern. the same hollowness the same pain. He dared asking his parents why is he like this. I never had courage to ask them . I have seen Him the same close to Allah like I am. No one other can feel him the way I can. I can’t put it into words but his life seems to me same like mine.

I would never gather enough courage to ask him the same questions he asked his parents. I know how much he would be hurt , knowing that he had to give all the answers he searched for all his life. Knowing that his little girl has grown up, and she feels the same as he did all his life. I can feel his pain…

I kept thinking all night, Are feelings and emotions genetic ? Is pain genetic ? Are sufferings and the after effects of the sufferings genetic ? Is the way of thinking genetic ? Is it possible that the way my father use to fight with himself it was genetically passed on to me ?

I wondered and there was no answer. May be this condition has some name and it has been proved to be a genetic thing by science. May be not.

May be I am thinking too much.

A Rhyme of Heaven and ‘Him’

 

paradise-waterfall-wallpaper-1440-900-6540 Lakes Of Chocolate and Milk

 Ponds Of Wine Pure

 Lustrous Clothes Of Silk

 Diamonds On Trees To Adore

 

 

 

birds-wallpaper-in-rain-5                 Bird’s Melodious tweet

Wind’s music along

Rain drops as beats

Make a symphonic song

 

 

 

paradise-garden-wallpaper1-1024x576

Fresh soft Flower petals shire

Natural beauty of fawn

No unfulfilled desire

Peace holds, worries gone

 

 

 

el-refugio

Artistic Comfortable Homes

Partners of your choice

All Luxuries Known

Contented , peaceful life

 

 

 

65c71898ce39970ed98184ef88c441d3_large

 

No Hatred No Frowns

For the people fellow

Each bad feeling gone

Harshness turned Mellow

 

 

 

paradise_view_1280x960

The ever-awaited Paradise

A choice of entire

A pleasant sublime surprise

A PERFECT Life prior

 

 

 

 

girl_swinging

Why don’t my heart feel

Tempting enough to get

Why hard enough to deal

Complexity of my mind-set

 

 

 

 

1239430_10151894768328185_1462725003_n

Why do I just need

‘His’ companionship forever

A sight of ‘Him’ , plead

‘He’ , whatsoever !

 

 

 

 

images (1)

‘His’ calm lap to sit safely

‘His’ shoulder to cry on

‘His’ feet to sleep like baby

‘His’ service till the life gone

 

 

 

 

525100_10151304027273185_816406421_n

The passionate Love

Sentiments stoutly fixed

The eternal Gratitude

Divine emotions mixed

 

 

 

 

1208507_10151888772738185_1308676002_n

 

Never mean to disrespect

My Love Divine

Every inch of my heart wet

For the Love to be mine

 

 

 

 

 

f_30-namaz_secde1

Waiting for your silence to break

For illumination of my inner sun

Take my heaven make me slave

I bow , I beg , Please don’t shun

 

 

 

 

 

Love Is Always The Same !

In every every form , In every shape
In every real relationship It take
In every passionate feeling’s name
LOVE is always the same !!

Whether it is Mom’s Caring Love….whether it is Dad’s affectionate Love…. Whether it is brother’s possessive Love…. whether it is sister’s friendly Love….Whether it is daughter’s or son’s sweetest Love….whether it is friends naughty and Lovely Love…….Love is BEAUTIFUL…….
Their is no life without Love !

I am going to Introduce you to two Loves of Mine today…..

First One Is  friends Love…….

A sweet girl who Loves to Dance …..

I would like to request her again to present something 😉

She Is energetic and passionate…funny….who is annoyed by the typical aunties 😛 …. Who is the greatest writer…… And a very nice friend and human being…. An enthusiastic youngster with a lot of ambitions……Meet her….. She is publicly known as VelaneDeBeaute and personally known as Ghalia !
I Wish You a very very HAPPY BIRTHDAY !

110201
All the sweet wishes and warm hugs…. And don’t worry this birthday would be awesome for you 😉 We are here for you …..

I Hope all these wishes make your day a memorable one !

ur3

Second Love is The brother’s Love…..

A caring brother who understands me…care for me….Feel my pain…..Love me as a sister……
Who always give me awesome suggestions to solve my problems…
Who is always here to help me whenever I want to talk…..
Who has a lot of problems in life….A hectic life but He is strong…. Strong enough to defeat all the problems of his life….
Who is always ready to make everyone smile…..

Who has the most positive approach towards life……

Who is so Intelligent that he has to hide his intelligence with his mask….. 😉

Who is a real pure human being……..
I am blessed to have you brother Arindam Saha !

brothers-10

On this ‘Rakhi’ , which is an event He celebrates for brother sister Love , He gave me some awesome and Intellectual ( Like him ) gifts !
He has a sweet Kachhua (Tortoise) Who made these gifts and Arindam delivered them to me 😉
Those were some Pictures of ‘Rangolis’ made in such an intelligent way. You can read details about this art here :

http://whenintrovertspeaks.wordpress.com/2012/10/06/a-thing-of-beauty-a-joy-forever/

Here are the Beautiful Pictures !

Rangoli_2 Rangoli_3

Rangoli_1

 

 

And In addition to The pictures, He designed an Award for me too !

How generous of him 😉
This Award is made in the same way as these figures….
I am loving this Most Beautiful Award and I am not passing it on like the normal Awards because It is for me and only me……

Here is the Award , he call it the Golden Fern Award :

GoldenFern

I am honored to you you dear brother…… I , more than LOVED , all the gifts ! I have never received gifts even on my Birthdays before So you know this was a real Surprise ! Love You and Thank you !

In addition to these beautiful people , I have made a very sweet elder sister here too known as sakuraandme (Paula) and a very special friend known as Mani ( He talks too much and I am annoyed sometimes with his long debates but at the same time I love them too 😉 plus he has the worst sense of humor 😛 ) .

I would like to Thank some special people too here cabrogal , safia and KATiE MiA FredericK!iI who have been a real source of learning for me since now !

I want to Thank you all….. For All your Love and support….. And for giving me such valuable new relationships !
Now I have started making my own family here on Word press 😉
My Virtual Life is more attractive now then my real life 😉 I have never told people in my real life how I feel about them….. Here it is the opposite !

I can write pages on the gratitude I feel for having all these people but I don’t want to bore you 🙂

I VALUE you people and all my readers more than anything Now….. Stay with me Always !

The Fairy Tale Of My Life…..

1358968006_taylor-swift-rapunzel-disney-zoom

This time the sparkling transparent rain drops….. like the pearls on ocean……Have turned me to Rapunzel…..

Beautiful she was….with her long beautiful gleaming hair and big glowing eyes……

But she was a prisoner……She was allowed to see the beauty of the world through a window…but she can’t feel it…..She knew the world is not for her….

At the moment standing here in my window……Listening to the melody of heavy rain falling on plants and trees outside….feeling the chilly wind on my skin…..and looking at the vast beautiful world outside…… I feel like Rapunzel……

There is greenery everywhere…. Colorful flowers, green fresh grass, beautiful plants with shining leaves, chilled fresh breeze, blue sky and rain…….. The world is so beautiful…..

I want to dance…..in the water standing in grass…….I want to dance madly….

I want to spread my arms and look above closing my eyes…..I want to dance in rain……

I want to feel the breeze going through me….Making my soul fresh and clean……While the Rain drops take away all my dirt……

But I can just stand here and dream….. This beautiful world is so fancy….and yet so artificial to me….. Like a fairy tale….Of Rapunzel….

I can stare at happiness but I know it is not for me…..I can gaze at the beauty….but I know it does not belong to me……

I can’t just step forward and do what I dream of….I am a prisoner…..Like Rapunzel….

Is life so beautiful like the world….. Or this all is a fairy tale…. Soon the rain will stop and the world will get back to normal….with all its imperfections…..

Iqbal Says :

 “Destroy whatever does not suit you.

Create a new world out of your own self.

A free man feels unhappy.

To live in a world of others.”

Is it really possible…..Why thinking of this theory causes an inner happiness……A new world….Of my choice……Beautiful….

We should learn to live the moment to its best……But I am not able to learn it yet……Is life a mere continuity of breaths or something more ?

Rapunzel was a princess…..She was in a fairy tale…That is why she got her price and lived ‘Happily Ever After’…….

There is no Happily Ever After in real life……

She didn’t see her prince fading away with someone else in this beautiful world…….

She didn’t felt the ugliness of life…..I ceased to be in an eternal paradise like her….Where there is neither a pang of love, nor yearnings nor a sympathizer.

Fairy tales are ‘overrated’……We are what we experience…..I chose thorns instead of flowers…..Now I stand here and desperation to go out is justified…..

“You lack the lamentation of a nightingale

Because you are bereft of a burning soul in your body;

In the garden where plucking of flowers is not prohibited,

You have not wounded yourself by the pointed thorns.”

— Iqbal

I stand here and yet I am not here….I am dancing in the rain…..Hair flying freely with the wind…..Closed eyes thinking of Him…..I am His Co-worker…..And I sing…….

“Thou created the night, I the lamp;

Thou created the clay, I the vase !

Thou created the jungle, mountains and deserts,

I created gardens, orchards and flower plots!

It is I who make glass out of stone,

It is I who extract elixir out of poison.”

— Iqbal

And yet the journey begins…………The eternal search……Search of divine………..The conquest of time and space…….

We feel we will die when we are thirsty…..And yet we are indulged in other things when we get water….We don’t even remember our thirst could have killed us…… No one dies of thirst….. Death comes on time and according to His wish….. So Many things in this mortal world become our thirst that we have to die a thousand times before our death……

[In urdu]                               Meri Zindagi tou firaaq hai, woh azal se dil main makeen sahi

Wo nigah’e_shauq se door hain, rag’e_jaan se lakh qareen sahi

Hamein jaan dainee hai aik din, wo kisi tarah wo kahin sahi

Hamein aap khainchiye daar par, jo nahi koi tu hameen sahi

Sar_e_toor ho sar_e_hasher ho, hamein intizaar qubool hai

Wo kabhi milein, wo kahin milein, wo kabhi sahi, wo kahin sahi

Na ho un pe kuch mera bass nahi, k ye aashqi hai hawas nahi

Mai unhi ka tha, mai unhi ka hoon, wo mere nahi tu nahi sahi

Mujhe bhaithne ki jaga milay, meri aarzoo ka bharam rahay

Teri anjuman mein agar nahi,teri anjuman k qareen sahi

tera dar tau hum ko na mil saka, teri rahguzar ki zameen sahi

hamain sajda karne se kaam hai, jo wahan nahin tau yahin sahi

meri zindagi ka naseeb hai nahin door mujh se qareeb hai

mujhay uska ghum tau naseeb hai wo agar nahin tau nahin sahih

jo ho faisala wo sunaaiye usay hashr pe na uthaiye

jo karain gay app sitam wahan wo abhi sahi wo yehin sahi

Use dekhne ki jo low lagi tu Naseer dekh hi lain gey hum

Wo hazaar aankh se door ho, wo hazaar pardah nasheen sahi

— Naseer-ud-din Shah

My Life , A Pendulum !

tumblr_mnr1qyj7ST1qhiy8oo1_500

Touching the heights…..Changing state………Lowering to ground……changing state…….. Touching the heights……..My life is a pendulum !!

I am having some weird days…… It is like someone is forcing me to stay happy and I can’t absorb it……

I am being forced to stay and hang out with people who have the most worst Image of me in their minds and they hate me…….

I am being forced to enjoy the things which kill me inside when I think about the reason I am doing them…….

I am being forced not to cry by feeling the pain of cramps all over my body because I am made tired physically……

I am being forced not to think about the things which make me sad by making me busy in some abnormal tensions from study life……

I am being forced not to think continuously as I use to do by giving me severe headaches….

I am being forced to live with people who are not my fate by pushing people who are my fate, away from me……

I am being forced not to write by inserting words in my mind and not giving me time to write them down……

And I am not sure if I am being forced or I am the one doing them with my choice !!

I don’t want to be a pendulum anymore….. I want to move upward……Higher enough to reach Him……….

I am being forced to stop my journey…….. WHY ?

May be because this is another phase I have to go through……. I am missing the previous days….

I am missing my home……. My mind has not accepted the reality yet and it has started living in fantasies…..

I just need a shock….a collapse…a trauma…..a stroke…..a jolt…..another punch on my face !!

To see the reality again,…… I am already seeing my suffering in very near future….In 15 days or less….. And maybe that is why I am being forced to enjoy some moments……

I have learnt being a pendulum for so long….. People don’t have time to think about you…. Your death or absence effects you and only you…… You are a fool if you think you are important for someone…….

I know the truths and yet still I close my eyes for them…….

I am a fool….and I am having some weird days….. I know what life is going to give me and yet I am closing my eyes……..

I am a coward !!

I am sorry for being absent from here…..I told you I am having some weird days…..

My life is a pendulum and it is changing its state again…….

 

Happy Birth Day Pakistan , You Will Live Forever InshAllah !

Note : This post is meant for Muslims and Pakistanis and Based on my thoughts. No one is forced to agree with me . Anyone who feel offended through this could stop reading at any point. I apologize already if I hurt your feelings through this !

1f4455bc4b1e5c1bb5b66ff5947a109d_1024

A heart full of Love for my country and a mind full of thoughts about Pakistan and Muslims…This is what I am today !

It is the 67th birthday of Pakistan today…. The same Pakistan which was made with a lot of efforts and martyrs by our ancestors. The same Pakistan which was made on the name of Islam and the same Pakistan where we can not see any true Islamic practice nationally. I am not in a mood of giving a long lecture on how Pakistan was made by all the efforts and How we are not doing what we were supposed to do and what should we do. I guess every Pakistani knows his duties in his heart.

I want to share some logic and some predictions with you today. If we look back, Muslims have the most major contributions in Mathematics, Science, Philosophy, Geology,  astronomy, geography , Literature and arts and their rules and formulas are still in use now-a-days. Examples of Muslims rulers for bravery and Justice are still given.

And then there is Today when The same Muslim are called as “Terrorists” ! Muslims are considered to be the most un-educated and ill-mannered people of the world. Muslim countries are continuously under control Of Western Countries and they are implementing the rules they want in Muslim countries. What happened to Muslims ? Islam can not be the reason. Islam was the same long long time ago when Muslims were prospering.

There are bundles of columns and articles filled on conditions of Muslims and the reasons and everything. I would like you to see it with my perspective. Let us talk about some Interesting Facts.

Some Interesting Spiritual Facts About Pakistan :

  1. No country was made after that many Martyrs , as Pakistan faced.
  2. Pakistan came into being on the Shab-e-Qadar “The night Of Blessings”  , On 27th Ramadan.
  3. In 1930’s when Quaid-e-Azam once decided to leave politics and he was persuaded by Allama Iqbal, He shared a secret with some of his very critical friends. He said that Hazrat Muhammad (S.A.W) came to meet him and ordered him to return back to sub-continent as he has to complete his spiritually assigned task.
  4. Sufi Barkat Ali , a well known saint, said “Listen O’ people a day will come when UNO will ask Pakistan before taking any step , whatsoever, I may not remain alive till that time, but if it doesn’t happen, then come and spit on my grave
  5. Many Muslim Scholars, Faqeers and Saints like Allama Shabbir Ahmed Usmani , Atiya Bibi , Qudratullah Shahab, Naimatullah shah Wali, Ashfaq Ahmed and many more described the detailed Spiritual Importance of Pakistan. Many of them Saw Hazrat Muhammad (S.A.W) in their dreams saying something about Pakistan.
  6. Many spiritual Aspects of the 1965 war have been described Spiritually Like the sight of Cavaliers dressed in white dresses , a letter by ‘Madina’ people about sighting of Hazrat Muhammad (S.A.W) saying he is going to fight for Pakistan, many bombs detonation, sighting of one bridge into six by an Indian Soldier and etc.

You can Read full details on these links.

http://pakistannislam.blogspot.com/2013/01/spiritual-pakistan.html#.UgkQQNKTRMg

http://pakistancyberforce.blogspot.com/2011/09/spiritual-importance-of-pakistan-past.html

With all these points in mind, Can you say Pakistan has no importance and all these proofs are just coincidences ? No , I don’t think so. Pakistan was made for a special purpose and that special purpose has yet to be served, in near future.

Let us discuss that Purpose now.

Some Islamic Predictions About Signs Of Qayamat (The day Of Judgment) :

1-Some of you (people) would fight with Hindus and Allah would give them (Muslims) Success ”  –Kanz-ul-aemaal, Hadees # 39719.

2- Hazrat Muhammad (S.A.W) said ,  Dajjal won’t come out till people don’t forget him , even the people at mosques stop saying anything about him.

3-Many Sufi Saints and Faqeers have predicted the success of Muslims in the Fight of Hind.

Now according to the recent column of Orya Maqbool Jan , A renowned writer , Sufi and spiritual person, Hindus have given out the dates of the year 2013 for this fight to be started. They say they won’t be succeeded, if they don’t fight now, for about hundred years. And according to Islamic predictions , in this fight Muslims would succeed and Pakistan would  be considered as the leader of Muslim nations. According to Hindus, a person they call as “Mahaarashi” is hiding in the mountains and he will come out with 70,000 Jews. The same was predicted back then, about the “Dajjal Fitna

You can read the whole Article of Oriya Maqbool Jan here : http://oryamaqbooljan.com/columns/jung-ka-mahorat-orya-maqbool-jan

The thing I am going to state now is Pure my thoughts and a voice from my heart or you can say my instincts or sixth sense.

I feel that the preparations for this ‘Ghazwa-e-Hind’ would start now in the year 2013 and The fight would start when Imran Khan would be the leader of Pakistan! After this 5 years period of Nawaz Shareef , I think Imran Khan would be the President and then this fight would happen and Pakistan would have a success InshAllah !

1150946_565697846825918_662826628_n

This is not written anywhere, It is just what I feel.

So After such important proofs, I don’t think the Dream of America, that Pakistan would no longer be in the maps of world , seems to be right !

I am not a scholar or anything, I just share what I believe and you are not forced to agree with my views here !

By stating all this information about fights I am not showing that I want people to fight. I love peace and So do Pakistan. Islam never wants fight, ever. Even in Islam killing one innocent is the same as killing the entire nation ! It is strictly forbidden. I was just recalling the things said by the Great people and was just telling my thoughts that I feel , this is the time.

At the last I would just say, Pakistan , you have given me everything and I am Thankful to you, To the sacrifices of our Ancestors ! May Allah give Pakistan a strength to Perform the task for which it was made 66 years ago and predicted by Hazoor Pak (S.AW) thousand years ago !

I Love you Pakistan and You will live Forever InshAllah !

Ameen !

Happy Independence Day  To All Pakistanis !

pakistan_independence_day_wallpaper_2012-800x600

Be Slow To Criticize And Fast To Appreciate !

Constructive-Criticism-cartoon

Take two glasses of water. Put them in separate rooms on a table and turn the lights of both rooms off. Now go to first room, sit down in front of one glass, take your face close to it and start admiring it. Say beautiful words about it, appreciate its beauty and be as nice and as positive to it as you can. Now go in the second room, sit down in front of the glass, take your face close to it and start saying bad words. Taunts, criticism, sarcasm, bitterness, anything. Say out all your negative thoughts. Repeat this activity for a whole month. When you will turn on the lights you will see the following results. The water in the glass to which you said all the good and positive things has turned more white and it shines. While the water in the glass to which you said all the bad and negative words has turned black !

No, I didn’t do it myself. I read this in a news paper written by some very famous writer , I don’t remember the name now. I was just shocked to read the effect of words . Let me quote anther story I heard in a movie.

A long time ago there was a jungle in which people use to live. They didn’t have proper instruments to cut the trees. What they used to do for abolishing trees was a very interesting phenomena. They all gather around the tree and say all the bad words and negative thoughts about the tree. Slowly the tree starts withering and its stem and branches starts contracting. They do this activity for a specific period of time and at last the innocent tree withers and decays to ground.

Obviously I haven’t seen them doing it. But the thing is, these kind of tales mostly have truth in them. There is some solid concept on the basis of which thee tales are made.

You know in our society we are in a habit of criticizing rather than appreciating. It all starts as the child starts his school. If he plays more and study less, parents criticize all the time. shout on the children and say them bad for not studying all the time. If he can’t get good grades Parents as well as other family member keep on criticizing Like see we never saw him studying he was always playing that is why he got this grade and stuff. This all continues till college. If a child do some mistake, instead of trying to know the cause what forced him to do this, people criticize. We never see what is the effect of our criticism on that innocent child. Rather he becomes stubborn and tough and never listens to his parents again or he becomes extra sensitive and every word from parents hurts him and he becomes quiet and the light from his eyes is vanished. Either ways, the child is destroyed. The energy the passion inside him dies and as a result t becomes a weak personality. Same happens with the people doing jobs and Mothers who stays at home , cooks and bring their children up.

The only people who can admire us with all heart are our parents. They don’t understand this fact. People always look towards you as if the second you make a mistake, they catch it and start blabbering about it. They never admire you and appreciate you as I have seen in my society. Parents do it, but they are scared if they admire their children they will take everything easy .I don’t agree with this. A single word of appreciation from the loved ones gives you enough courage to face the whole world. You start feeling all the energy inside you.

The same happens to me. Every time someone appreciates me for anything, I start doing it with more enthusiasm and power. And the point someone criticizes me I lose all the energy and I don’t want to do that thing anymore. Every single word of criticism from my  parents cut me inside and every time I do something big and they don’t even know it, I become more sensitive and teary. Their is a middle stage too when you are working so hard and when you take your hard work to the respected people, you don’t get any appreciation . Instead the people with you who don’t even know the abc of work, get all the appreciation you deserved. Why ? because they know how to show off and you just know how to work. This stage is more worse !

Of course constructive criticism is always good. But it should be done only when needed truly.

299550_478125762233173_1476804465_n

I once studied in a book that every person has a magnetic field around him and every human emits vibrations from his body. Science proves that the point of emission of these vibrations is the center of our forehead between the two eyes. Some people also call it as ‘sixth sense’ . The background of this theory is that every human body has current in it which is of 0.5 watt. Due to this current and charge , a magnetic field is formed around the body. And through this magnetic field magnetic vibrations are emitted.

When we meet a person whose vibrations are favorable and compatible with our vibrations , we are attracted towards that person. We feel attraction in him. The vibrations of some humans are neutral. Vibrations of some people are not compatible with the vibrations of our body and we run away from them. You know sometimes we feel attraction towards a person we don’t know or we don’t ever have talked to him. This is all due to the favorable vibrations. Likewise, we sometimes start disliking a person with out any reason. This is because of the unfavorable ones.

I believe this is the scientific proof of why appreciation and criticism has that intense effect on everything. When we appreciate someone, our positive vibrations are transferred to that person and as a result that person feels more energetic. In the same way with criticism we transfer our negative vibrations to the person and as a result all his energy and light is soaked out and he starts feeling empty and weak.

I wish all the parents and people outside who don’t leave any chance of criticizing anyone, know this ! We can boost up our youth just by some words of appreciation and we will see the results would be enormous. Be slow to criticize and fast to appreciate !

2009-11-25_Appreciation

 

 

 

Abstract Speculation Of A Rainy Day

blood_drop_by_hacker340

Today is  Juma-Tul-Wida (The last Friday of Ramadan Kareem).

The dawn was as hot as the rest of the days of Ramadan passed. Everyone was dying of hotness and clouds use to come daily and left without showering. Fasting in this kind of hotness is hard, very hard. But our Lord says He can’t put burden on us more than we can handle.

As I came out in the noon I saw black clouds on the sky and finally it started raining ! Everyone in my family is so happy right now . I can feel their happiness as their faces look like blooming flowers. Why are Fridays always so lucky ? I said to myself. I went into the rain feeling its cold refreshing drops falling all over me. It felt cold and pleasant. I put a chair right in the middle of the open patio of my house, beside green leaves of a tree and lie on it feeling the rain going into my soul through every pore of my body. I relax here with closed eyes feeling the pleasure of getting my heart washed. I see my family happy around me. Laughing, talking, gossiping and joking, beautiful faces . My dad is sitting right beside me. I felt peace. Real peace . No worries, no problems to think about and nothing to get tensed. Peace, serenity, lull and happiness.

After a while my mind has started doing its ‘endeavor‘. It never stops thinking and I get tired of it sometimes. S[specially at long nights when I want to sleep and couldn’t just because of my mind, awake and thinking. I wonder how it stopped just before this moment when everything was feeling so good and refreshing and Life seems so easy and peaceful.

I caught up a thought about my family and then all the news I heard before on Tv and from people started echoing in my brain. I thought at this very moment when I am sitting peacefully here there would be many atrocious things happening in some part of the world. There may be an innocent child dying in some corner of the world by barbarous people. There may be a drone attack and many innocent people may have been killed in it. There may be a suicide bomber exploding himself , taking lives of many innocent people including him. A father may have been killed by a shot from unknown bike riders in some part of my country. There may be a father killing his own family members or a brother killing his own sisters. There may be a girl being killed at some part of world after getting kidnapped.

There would be a mother, a father crying on death of their angelic children. A brother crying on the death of his sister. Small kids crying on the death of their father. There would be pain in many people’s heart right now. There would be fear in many eyes, the fear of future. There would be restlessness, agony, distress, hurt and terror dancing in the eyes of  some modest simple people.

Thinking of this, this rain water don’t seem refreshing to me anymore. I am feeling like I am dipping my feet in the blood of these people. I feel like the blood of these people is falling right now on me and I am drenched in their blood. I took out my hand and tried to feel the rain drops. They were not rain drops anymore…..

We hear about deaths of people and killings of innocent everyday. On the news in Tv , on some radio channel , on internet or through different people we meet. We hear the news , feel some pain in our heart for the moment , say some words about their loss to show we are sad and then start living our normal life again. We don’t even remember what we heard lately . Why ? Is it really a fact that our blood has turned white? ……Or is this the coldness that is spreading all over inside our hearts with time?

But what if we feel the pain in heart…..what can we do ? What can we do to stop these killings. What can we do to ease the pain of people that were attached to the killed ones? What can we do for the innocent kids left behind all alone ? We are so engaged in our own lives. We are becoming doctors and engineers . We are busy in doing our full time jobs. We are busy in taking care of our kids and raising them. Our lives are so busy we can’t even have time for fulfilling our social responsibilities. Then how can we go far away to the place where these things happen , leaving our life and family far behind and try to help them ? Can we sacrifice our lives for their lives ? Are we brave enough ? I am not…

Then what is our responsibility ? Why do I feel so much pain in my heart when I hear these kind of news and I feel my hands tied?  I feel myself obstruct and powerless . Why can’t I do anything for them? I want to stop all this. I want to ease the pain of people getting suffered. I want to be their voice. But why can’t I move , why do i feel my self tied up hard…………What can I do ?

For what reason did our beloved Messenger said

He who among-st you sees something abominable should modify it with the help of his hand; and if he has not strength enough to do that, then he should do it with his tongue; and if he has not strength enough to do even that, then he should (at least abhor it) from his heart; and that is the least of faith.”

We should act upon this . Shouldn’t we ? Then why do we show like we don’t care about other people. Some of us even don’t abhor the evil doings in our hearts. We care only when something like this happens to our own family. Why are we not able to feel the pain of other people ?

I open my eyes and took a glimpse of my family. I stare at each of their faces and I feel my heart would burst out with pain. I couldn’t even think of anything like that happening to them. I can’t think of losing anyone of them. What would be the feelings of the people who had to face this hell on earth ?

Tears have started coming out of my eyes. But I am lucky, it is raining right now. It will hide my tears from the people I love and I care about. Charlie Chaplin was a really funny man, he tried to make everyone laugh with his actions but his quote about rain always make me realize he was not what everyone assumed him. He said it right.

“I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying.”

I close my eyes again and here I lay thinking and in-questing myself…..all these questions sway in my mind and I try to figure out answers of each. Do you know the answers ?

An Insight Of “Love”

The Lamps are different, but the Light is the same.

The Lamps are different,
but the Light is the same.

The real beloved is that one who is unique, who is your beginning and your end. When you find that one, you’ll no longer expect anything else.

There was a man living at a far away place. He had no one with him except a donkey who was everything to him and he use to spend all his time with it. He once went to a pious man living in his area.The pious man was sitting in a hut with a small door. The man stood outside the door and started a conversation with him.

Man: “I Love my donkey so much !”

Pious Man: “Ok , Come in !”

As the man entered the room, The pious man said ” You don’t Love your donkey enough ! Go back and spend more time with him”. The man was amazed to hear this. He went back and took care of his donkey more. He spend years and years with him. Then he came back to the Pious man again.

Man: “I love my donkey and this time I am sure about it !”

Pious Man: “Ok , Come in !”

As the man entered the room,

The pious man said ” You don’t Love your donkey enough ! Go back and spend more time with him” . The man was amazed again ! But he went back because he knew the pious man speaks nothing but truth. He spend many more years with his donkey taking care of him. Then he came back again !

Man: “I am in love with my donkey !”

Pious Man: “Ok , Come in !”

The Man didn’t come in.

He said ” My ears are so big and I won’t be able to fit in this small hut with my big body ! ”

The pious Man said ” Yes, Now I believe you ”

This state of Love when You start thinking you are like the one you love, is called as “Ishq” . People who don’t know Urdu, can call it “Extreme Love ” . This is a state where wisdom is left behind, all that is there is True Love. Where one don’t question “Why” . He just remember saying “Yes” .

There is a story in our History,  when a person was involved in Loving Allah so much that Once he started saying “An-al-Haq” Meaning “I am God !’ . When people listened to him they started beating and cursing him that he is calling himself  God. Later on, this theory was explained by some Sufi’s. They say that man was so much In Love with the creator that he started thinking that he is like the one he loves…..He is a part of the one he Loves….He is his Love !

At a distance you only see my light;
come closer and know that I am you !  –Rumi

Is this pure Love worth comparing to the so called love of today ? When a boy loves a girl one day, and the next day he starts loving the next ! When people calls talking on phone and dating as Love . When relationships are the means of love. No relationship , no love ! When people love each other for their own means. When one fight erases love from heart. Is this Love ? NO.

People characterize the stages of reaching “Extreme Love” or “Ishq” as :

1-First stage is of “likeness”. When we like someone’s knowledge, wisdom, way of talking, habits, manners or something then we like to meet them more often. When we meet them more often, this likeness start converting to “adoration” . We want to meet them more and talk to them more.

2- Then comes the stage of “infatuation”. When we feel we can’t live without this person. But when that person goes away from us and we find someone else in that duration we sometimes go close to the second person.

3-The step next to “infatuation” is “love”. This is the extent of likeness and infatuation. When we reach that stage we are so much involved in the person. We want to fulfill his every wish and we feel happy doing it. Every word coming out of his mouth is the last word for us . We can do anything for that person.

4- Then comes the stage of “Ishq” that is the extent of Love. When we lose the sense of thinking and all that we see is our love. where there is no “why” there is just “yes” . Where wisdom is astonished and left far behind.

Love is the feeling that forced “Ibrahim” to jump in fire without questioning His God “why” ? And His God didn’t fail him either. He turned the fire cold. Miracles do happen in Love !

Baykhatar kood para aatish-e-namrood main Ishq

Aqal hai mehw-e-tamasha-e-lab-e-baam abhi

Shewa-e-Ishq hai Azadi-o-deher aashubi

Tu hai zannari-e-bu’t khana-e-ayyam abhi    

-Iqbal

(Meanings: Baykhatar = Fearlessly; Kood para = Jumped in; Aatish-e-Namrood = Referring to fire of Namrood in which, prophet Abraham (PBUH) was thrown; Ishq = Referring to strong Faith and devotion of Prophet Abraham (PBUH); Aqal = Wisdom; Mehw-e-tamasha-e-lab-e-baam = Stunned/shocked/in state of disbelief; Shewa-e-Ishq = Strong Faith; Azadi = Freedom; Deher Aashubi = To get rid of slavery; Zannari-e-bu’t khana-e-ayyam = Under influence of idol worshipers)

Some wise people say that we reach the Creator by three means:

1-will

2-knowledge

3-love

There are 10 % chances in will and 90% chances in knowledge that we will go towards the wrong path while searching the Creator. But with love, there are no chances to get lost. Love is a thing that can’t be explained but can only be experienced. And once experienced, nothing is left after it.

O Lord! Was it the cloud of mercy or the thunderbolt of Love When the life’s crop got burned down, sprouted the seed of the Heart  –Rumi

In a human body, heart is present on one side of the chest and “wishes” or “cravings” which are called as “Nafs” In our language, is on the other side of heart. In the center of our heart, in a very deep place is where our soul resides. And in the depth of our “Nafs” , Evil resides. The thing is to fight with the “Nafs” and it leads us towards the True Love , “Ishq” !

There were many Pious persons and Sufis , whose destiny was to reach God. Because of the worldly demands and weaknesses they couldn’t reach there. So the creator engaged them in the “love of man”. When they return empty handed from it and they were hurt because of it, The creator took them, holding their hands, towards him. And they succeeded in achieving the greatest levels.

It changes the heap of earth into elixir

Such is the power of the ashes of the Heart

It gains freedom after being caught in the net of Love

On being thunder-struck greens up the tree of the Heart

Iqbal

Closing it with an English translation of a poem by Allama Iqbal, My favorite Poet. He was at a very upper level of Sufism and we need a lot of insight to reach to the true meanings hidden in his words.

One day reason said to the Heart:

I am a guide for those who are lost.
I live on the earth, but I roam the skies
Just see the vastness of my reach.
My task in the world is to guide and lead,
I am like Khizar of blessed steps.
I interpret the book of life,
And through me Divine Glory shines forth!
You are no more than a drop of blood,
While I am the envy of the priceless pearl !!

The Heart listened, and then said: This is all true,

But now look at me, and see what I am!!!
You penetrate the secret of existence,
But I see it with my eyes!!!
You deal with the outward aspects of things
I know what lies within!!! (The outward pertains to the phenomenal world, the inward to matters of the Heart and soul)
Knowledge comes from You, intuitive knowledge of spiritual truth from me!!!
You seek GOD, I reveal HIM!
Attaining the ultimate in knowledge makes one restless –
I am the cure for that ailment!!!
You are the candle of the Assembly of Truth;
I am the lamp of the Assembly of Beauty!!!
You are hampered by space and time,
While I am the “bird in the Lotus tree” (Taaeyr-e-Sidraa)
My status is so high –
I am the throne of the Majesty of GOD (According to sufistic saying, the world is too small a place to house GOD, but a believer’s Heart is large enough to house Him)

An Unsorted Unresolved Depress Mind’s Thought On Life……..

question-mark2

Life…..

………..Starts with a white clean paper. Some words emerge on it. Words which are imperative and which needs to be mastered. As the paper start getting filled with words, The purity and cleanliness starts dissipating. The paper starts stuffing with blotches and eruptions. Marks and stains are dispersed over it. Word by word, a full story behind exclusive words. After a while, the paper looks destroyed and damaged. Words are arduous to read because of more blemishes. The blotches, words and torn ups can never be undone. They are not erasable. After a moment, the paper start tearing apart from places and at last, whole paper is turned into small pieces. This is where it ends.

One paragraph, 6 lines , 120 words , 650 letters ! 

And Life Ends…….!!

Happenings , stories, pain, happiness, sadness, tears, suffering, joy, fun, mood, This altogether makes Life !

Everyday, the same routine , the same people, the same happenings, This altogether passes Life !

Silence, pain, illness, heart attack, accident, suicide, age, This Takes Away Life !

This is the life we cry for ? This is the life we get depressed for ? This is the life we plan for ? This is the life we die for ?

Does it worth everything ?

Life is like a candle… Either it slowly melts away or a harsh breath of wind blows it out of existence.
Brittany Ann Smith

Life is short, but it’s long enough to ruin any man who wants to be ruined.
Josh Billings

Life is short. You have to be able to laugh at our pain or we never move on.
Jeff Ross

Men talk of killing time, while time quietly kills them

Dion Boucicault

Life is wasted on the living.
Douglas Adams

I am scared. Scared of the truth. Scared of Life. Scared of death……..

Scared of the 650 letters…………..

Life ?????????

The One Night When A Miracle Happened !

The Calm After A Storm

The Calm After A Storm

She was angry with Him for several days , She recalled.  They were not talking for some days. The occasional phone calls they used to do everyday for some minutes were aborted.

She was feeling something inside her that day. She couldn’t recognize what it was. It was chasm, exhaustion,anxiety or what it was ? She was not sure. She was looking at the phone repeatedly with a gap of some moments. The feeling was in-suppressible. She couldn’t move her eyes off the phone. Her hand moved towards it for a moment and then reverts back. She wasn’t sure whether to call him or not. She was restless and distressed but she couldn’t tell him . She recalled, She was angry with him !

At the evening she found her self  irresistible. She never felt that intense feeling before ever. She wanted to tell him about what she was feeling. She picked up her phone and dialed his number. She could hear the noise of her heart hammering hard in her ears. She was making up words in her mind to talk to him. The bell rang, twice, thrice and the phone was picked up from the other side !

As she tried to speak, She heard harsh loud noise coming from the other side of phone. She couldn’t figure out what it was.She tried to speak but random words came out of her mouth. Then she heard his feeble trembling voice echoing into her mind I just met with an accident a minute ago He was crying loud with pain and she was hearing it. She tried to speak but nothing came out of her mouth. He hung up. This all happened in such an instance.

She recalled she was angry with him ! She recalled he told her, he had to go to the next city in his car to pick up his brother today. She recalled he use to drive rash and she always kept advising him to drive slow. She recalled  he was everything to her. He was her love, her life, her soul. He was everything ! She recalled, she starts crying every time she saw him crying . She thought…….He is in pain right now…..Extreme pain.

She couldn’t breathe. she was suffocating. She felt like someone is pressing her neck with both hands.

Where is he now ? How is he ? Did anyone came to help him ? Is he bleeding ? He will be bleeding . His blood…. There would be a lot of blood. Is he alright ? How is he ? He must be in pain ….. What should I do ? What can I do ? I don’t know where He is. I should call some one to ask him to go help him. To whom should I call ? No one knows about us. I should go there . How can I ? I……I am helpless……. A lot of questions and answers were exploding in her mind. Her mind was not accepting what she just heard. He must be joking…..But the pain in his voice ?

She felt, she is going to die. She dialed his number again. Her hands were shivering this time. He accepted the call but she realized he didn’t took the phone to his mouth. Their were noises, there were people asking him about his name and his father’s name. He was crying , screaming with pain. She felt the misery in his voice when he was saying his father’s name. She felt her heart bursting out. Her nails were pinned into her own hands in her fist. She was trying to absorb the pain but it was increasing with his screams. Her lips were under her teeth , pressed forcefully. She was in extreme pain. She felt the same pain he may be feeling right now. She called his name loudly but there was no response. The call was cut off again.

She remembered, recently she heard about so many of her relatives died in car accidents. She hated herself for thinking about that but couldn’t help it. She got up off her bed and started walking in the room, crying hard. She found herself screaming out loud. The walls of her room were trying to absorb her voice but they failed. She screamed for some time and then she felt herself tired. She was still crying. Her eyes were red , bulged out and nose was swelled. She was rubbing her hands again and again restlessly. Her one leg was moving speedily as if she is trying to calm her down but she wasn’t succeeding.

She recalled she was angry with him !

She looked again at the phone in her hands. This phone is the only source connecting me with him ? She thought. More warm big tears came out of her eyes and fell on the phone. What should I do ? He is in pain……He is in extreme pain….and I….. I am sitting here…..I can’t be with him right now…..I can’t see him right now……I can’t do anything for him……..She started crying more loudly. She was holding her hair hard in her fists. He is in pain………He could die ? No I won’t let him die……I won’t.

She wiped her tears brutally off her face and started praying to God. The One God who placed him in her heart. Who gave her the Love of human. The one God who caused this problem and He is the Only one who can solve it, She thought. She started praying. Prayer after prayer every prayer with a purpose of saving his life. She asked Him in the name of His book, His Prophet, to save his life. She bowed in front of Him . She was crying loud. Please save him. Please lessen his pain. Please take away his pain. Please help him finding doctor. Please protect him. She was begging , she was begging.

I need a Miracle. She found herself saying this. I want a Miracle. You do Miracles for your men. Today I need it. You have created me and you are responsible for my every suffering. I have never asked you anything forcefully. I always wanted your consent. I am asking today. forcefully , not to harm him. I beg you, I need a Miracle. I will be Thankful to you all my life. Take my life and give it to him.She begged and begged. She couldn’t find more words but she was begging with the same words again and again.

This was the night she realized, How much this person means to her. She realized she could live without him if she see him healthy and contented but She can’t see him dying. She realized she want to see him happy and peaceful. She realized how important he was to her. She realized, how obstructed she is. She realized How hard her hands are tied and she realized, she was not worth than a grain of sand !

She was scared of Him. Very much scared. How powerful He was, What couldn’t  He do ?  How merciful He was, What didn’t He do ? He knew how to keep human, a human . With anger or with mercy, He knows how to keeps human in his limits !

She traveled a long journey of ecstasy towards pain in this short night.  She traveled from complication to perception. She was chosen to see the real face of life. She was chosen to know the hidden ugly secrets. The truth was revealed to her in one night. Her importance was made clear to her in one night. Her capability was clear. Pain, anxiety,agony, discomfort, misery,convulsion, distress, affliction,hurt…………. what feeling was left for her to go through. She was entering into a new phase of life with a new meaning of it. She couldn’t think. Her thinking capability was  fading because of crying hard for a long time. She realized its been three hours she is crying.

She started walking again in her room. She felt her mind and body convulsed. She sat in a corner of the room , contracting herself. Her eyes were centered onto a virtual point, gazing. She was scared of the future. She was scared what is going to happen. She was afraid, She was frightened to the extent. She found herself dialing the number again. He picked up this time, He spoke. She was burst into tears and she started crying again. She asked Him while crying How he was. He said,I am fine now and I am in a hospital. I will call you when I will reach home I can’t talk right now . Don’t worry.”

These were not words she just heard. She heard the call of peace and happiness. She heard the flowers blossoming . She heard the cool wind whispering. She heard all the loveliest sounds of the world , altogether. She found herself bowing on the ground where she was sitting a second ago. She found herself shedding tears again, but this time the tears were of joy, of happiness and of thankfulness. She kept in that state for several minutes Thanking Her God what He did for Her. She was Thankful , He made her His slave, for the rest of her life.

She asked for a Miracle, And It happened !

After some hours She received a call from him. He told her all about the accident. He told her She was the first one to call him, at the moment he met the accident. He asked her , How did you came to know about this?  She had no answer but tears in her eyes.

He broke a bone near his neck. Had some scratches on the knee and some other body parts but he was safe. The car was destroyed badly. No body was believing he survived after such a bad accident. Doctor advised him to take complete bed rest and some medicines. She was talking to him. She had no words to tell him what she went through in the past hours. She was trying to upraise him, cheer him up. You will be fine soon. He was crying and she was not. She was consoling him . There were tears in her eyes but she wasn’t losing hope. She was feeling extreme love for him right now in her heart . She felt an urge to hug him. He was under the influence of medicines so he slept while talking to her.

She was listening to his breath. She realized how important his running breath was to her. Her heart was filled with tears and they were coming out of her eyes but there was peace. She looked at the sky out of the window. Night was passed , the sun was coming out.

There was silence and calm, like the calm after a big storm passes.

She recalled she was angry with him. Was she ?

—————————————————-

*This story may seem like a fiction to you but it is true. It is my Story. Each and Every word of it is true. I was not comfortable writing it with ‘I’ so I wrote it with ‘she’. I have re-lived the same moments today as I was writing this story, that I lived then. I am feeling so tired after writing it……Replaying my life makes me tired. I hope I have done justice with it 🙂

—————————————————-

The Story Of Cute Family Distractions While Writing A Post……And Awards !!!

Lovely_illustration_little_girl_showing_family_drawing_to_parents_wallcoo.com

Once upon a time, there were Awards ……        No there were distractions….     No Awards…..

Ok Lets talk about distractions first !

I was nominated for some awards and I wanted to write a post about it. It takes me almost 3 to 4 hours to complete one post and I write 1 post daily. As I am at home now for vacations, It is not easy for me to give that much time to the blog thing as I used to do in hostel. I face a different situation everyday when I spend 4 hours writing a post .

These four hours never go easy on me. Let me tell you the story of today, when I am writing this post right now. I always think about what I will write next in the night. So I opened my laptop today and started writing.

Omg ! This girl is always sitting beside her computer all day long and Look how her fingers keep dancing like that ! Stop this tuk tuk tuk and come out of your room

Yes you have guessed right, This is my mom !

I tried to explain to her, Mama I am writing something important, I will come out after a while. She left grunting in the same style she always do !

I started writing again.

A frog just jumped into your room !!!!!!

A loud scream came out of my mouth and I carried my legs off the ground and put them on the bed , but I didn’t stop writing !!

This was my younger brother, He is 14. He was in search of that Mr. froggi who was devoted in disturbing me while writing.

My brother was wandering in my room feeling himself like a superman or some kind of frog detective with a stick in his hand in search of that Mr.froggi. He kept searching for it for about 10 mins and was sharing some precious pieces of knowledge about frogs with me all along.

It produces a chemical from his mouth and if it falls on a person, He may die !!

Mr. Froggi

Mr. Froggi

I gave him a look, Really ?  *Sigh*

He ignored my look and continued his search in every corner of my room. After a long search program, Mr.froggi showed his face from the back side of dust bin !

I couldn’t write in this situation so I was looking at him with my complete attention. He put it in the same dustbin after a struggle of 5 mins and said,

Why are you looking at me like this ? Do your work !!

And I ……. Yeah with Big *Sighs* started writing again.

When I was about to complete the post, only one paragraph was left behind , something like this happened :

Please give me the snacks you bought yesterday I am hungry !

I looked up again, It was my middle one brother, He is 16. He was looking at me with a begging look on his face !

Okaay take them and run away of my room and don’t let anyone come here pleaseeeeeee !!

He looked at me as if I am telling some kind of joke, and ran away with all the bags of chips.

And this is how I , at last , completed my post !!

So Moving Towards the Awards Now 😛

I was nominated for two blog Awards by arfamasihuddin and I thank her with all my heart for these Awards ! I Love them and I am truly honored to receive them. I don’t want to make a formal speech as I am getting short of words to thank from my limited vocabulary…..but Look Arfa ! Through how many hard stages I have gone through for accepting the awards 😛 You may be aware of the importance of these Awards to me by now !!

You can read the best article about all the rules for the Awards here:

http://arfamasihuddin.wordpress.com/2013/07/18/two-more-awards-im-honoured/

The main Rule is to display the pictures of Awards on Your Blog and nominate 10 NEW members for these Awards to pass on So here it goes !

wordpress-family-award

I am the part of The WordPress Family Award

bouquet-award-31

Best Moment Award

10 Nominations for the Awards: (This time I am nominating new people who write very good but I don’t have very good interaction with them )

1- emphadiate

2-Aaks-e-Takkhayul

3-Nadia

4-sameernahar

5-bpreethi

6-Maryam

7-jalal michael …

8-Sam.h

9-celestepoesie

10-Nafees

Congrats a Lot !!

Signing Off towards my Family 😉

Love xx

The Monster Inside Us !

537267_437539112986749_1804047954_n

Yes I am thinking that way now ? How negative …. Right ?

Let me tell you the story behind these thoughts.

The Monster in my story hacked my email account and Facebook about 8 months ago. He stole all  my pictures and started black mailing me. He asked me the phone number or any contact of one of my college friends but I didn’t give it to him. He had nothing to do with me, nothing at all. Even he didn’t know me well and I had no idea who he was. I have never seen him. He used to scare me saying he will do bad to my pictures and he sent some of them to me, photo shopped !  And he was enjoying all this. He was having fun by scaring me. I was scared to hell ! I am the kind of girl who never puts her picture as a display picture in her own Facebook. And it was hard to bear all this torch-er he was causing me. And after some time he disappeared.

Recently He attacked again on my emails and Facebook but he was failed due to my security measures. He was able to get into one email account and I deleted it. He was out raged and tried to black mail me with the same pictures again. But thanks to a friend, who didn’t let it happen. I have passed some bad days in fear. All I saw was fear everywhere. It was hard but As they say every cloud has a silver lining !

The point I was thinking about is, He may be a Monster for me. He may be bad for me. But He would be a good loving son to his mother, A caring brother to his siblings and an obedient son to his father ! His family would have never seen the Monster inside him. He can be a Monster for the whole world, but when it comes to his family, he is a good guy like others. Why ?

Because there is a monster inside each one of us ! We behave bad sometimes to some people and we are the best for some other people. Sometimes, time matters and at other times , people matters but we are all the same ! The Monster inside us forces us to do things he want. And we are all scared of revealing this monster to the people we love. We try to hide this monster from the people we care about. The thought that what would happen to us, if our loved ones come to know what are we from inside, scares us to death !

I am reminding a true story right now in my mind. There was a man living with his family near our house. He was caring and loving to his family like everyone. And then I heard the news. One day he entered his home with an axe in his hand. He first cut the legs and necks of his own daughters. Then cut his son and wife too with the same axe. Police caught him and when they asked him the reason behind what he did. He said, It wasn’t me. Something forced me to do this and it prevailed my mind so badly that I lost my thinking power. And I did that. He was crying hard with pain. Pain that his Monster caused to him and The thought that the thing he did, can never be re-winded !

The Monster I just talked about,was a big one ! We all have small monsters hidden inside us. Some Monsters become happy when they see the others in pain. Some monsters become happy when they can irritate the people under them Some monsters are of the kind that they enjoy seeing the misery of other people. Some Monsters become happy when they see people less successful then they are . Some Monsters are happy when they see other people failing in things they are passed. The ways are different, But almost all monsters want the same. They are bad, and watching bad things happening to people around them makes them happy.

ghosts,inside,monsters,stephen,king,us,typography-0c486e1d24c3f6814469be197f85c649_h

Ego is the best friend of these Monsters and Mutiny is the best mate. They grow bigger taking the shoulders of Ego. That is why I have heard Senior people saying that There is no ego and self respect in Love. If you Love someone with all your heart , whether it is the human love or the real Love, You have to sacrifice your Ego. And Love is a feeling where no Monster can exist.

You may be disagreeing with my point. We see a lot of people around us who are good to everyone. We can’t even think there can be any bad thing inside them . We respect them with all our heart.  The thing is, they are successful in suppressing the monster inside them. The more the one is successful in suppressing it, the more he succeeds in becoming a good person.

Take some time from your busy life and think ! Think what were the places where your monster took the charge and He let you do bad things. Things you regret and You want to go back and erase them . The things you think you would never do if you have a chance now. There are many things in my life too. Now try to understand the nature of your monster. How he behaves at some points when He want you to do evils. There may be some specific areas you need to work on. If you have figured them out, Try to think about them in your mind, that you won’t let your monster took over it again. You are strong enough to fight against your monster. Once this thought is settled in your mind, The Monster will be grounded forever !

We fight daily with our monster. He says us to do a thing and then our conscious and heart says no it is wrong and we leave it. If we see it in the light of religion, Then it is our ‘Nafs’ Who is the Monster. You all are aware of it. It is said repeatedly by Allah to suppress our ‘Nafs’. People who are successful in suppressing it, are the good ones in eyes of Allah. But we are so trapped in the puzzle of our ‘Nafs’ that we are forgetting the good inside us. We grow our ‘Nafs’ daily by letting him eat our good. He do what he wants, all day long.  “Nafs’ would be the biggest reason for our sufferings. It may let us enjoy here, But we will be caught in its trap hereafter !

I see a lot of mass killings happening all around the world. A lot of innocent children are murdered in front of their mothers. Many girls are raped in-front of their fathers. People go for their work and they are shot by unknown people. Robberies, thefts and Kidnapping are on their peak. No one feels safe now. The people who are so called ‘rulers’ of us, are doing nothing but eating pop-corns and watching these things like we watch a movie. Why is that so ? Are these the Monsters who are trying to undertake the whole world ? Is the power of good so less that it can’t control the power of evil ? I don’t think so.

megamind-funny-quotes

Well that is a joke ! It may be the matter of time. All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing. At this time it may look like the evil is going to succeed but at the last , good always wins ! I hope that truth is stronger in the end than any evil or misfortune in the world.I am waiting for that time. I have hope in me, I know I will see the sun of good rising one day. Sometimes I wonder, is there something like “Karma” in this world ?

A Letter That Is Never To Be Posted !

393750_327523620598650_1998200189_n

Dear Mama And Daddy !

First of all I Love you and so very much !

No I am not fine as I always say when you ask me how are you ? I want to tell you some things… Some things That you don’t know and you can’t even imagine of.

Do you know what is my biggest wish of my life ? Let me tell you today.

My biggest wish is that I make you proud one day. You get a lot of happiness or reward because of me, someday. I don’t have any wish regarding myself. I use to fantasize in my free time that I have done something big and every one is admiring you both because of me and you have that shine in your eyes, which comes in every parents eyes when they feel proud of their child. I want to see that shine in your eyes ! I want to make you feel proud ! I have always let you down. I never did anything for you in my whole life , At least this is what you know ! I feel this from the depth of my heart. This is the strongest desire I feel when ever I think of my life.

I am a sensitive and touchy girl. You don’t know this till now. It all started when I was young I don’t exactly remember my age. And mama, you were sitting with all my brothers and you all made fun of me for some thing. I ran away to my room and fell on my bed and cried and cried but no one came to express sympathy with me. I felt so bad. I was young, I didn’t realized what is happening but I felt neglected.

Then It started happening more often. You say words to make fun of me in a funny way but instead they hurt me. I started feeling pain when I was so young but back then, I couldn’t name it. I cried lying on my bed every time this happened but you never consoled me . A wish started sprouting in my heart that you come to console me, wipe away my tears and upraise me but you never did. You never felt what I use to go through.

I was a good student at first and you somehow felt proud of me till 9th grade. Then a disaster happened to me and I failed your expectations. I failed you badly in 10th grade and in my college. You never bothered to ask me what happened to you ? You used to be a brilliant student what is the matter with you ? You used to be so happy why don’t you seem happy now? Did something happen ? No. Instead , on knowing about the matter you behaved so rudely I can’t even think of that time now. It makes me cry ! That was the most ugliest time of my life and there was no one to tell me what is right and what is wrong. There was no one to listen, and when I found someone who listened to me I followed the wrong path even without seeing that face ever in my life. It was just a voice to me, But you behaved like I have done something so bad. I needed you at that time but you beat me hard with your words. I felt alone. I started receding away from you.

Dear mama,

Do you know what I use to think when I miss you ? That I am lying with my head in you lap and you are running your fingers across my hair. And talking to me. I felt so loved in my dreams thinking of that. I am your only daughter but you never did it. I don’t have courage to tell you that. I wish that I lie with my head in your lap one day and you kiss on my forehead . And you tell me how much you love me and you are here no matter what happens. Tell everything to me like your friend. I am your friend. But I don’t see that happening ever.

Dear daddy,

I use to think of you too in the same way. I wish someday you hug me and kiss my forehead. You express your indulgence . You pass your hand through my head with love some day and say I love you.  You are my sweetest daughter and I am proud of you.

I felt so happy when you sometimes put your hand on my head and when mama said You are my lovely daughter I felt blessed. I felt honored at that time !

Tears are running out from my eyes through my cheeks towards my neck as I am writing this. I am running out of words. I am not bothering to use fancy words and phrases while I write this. These words are flowing out of my fingers without following any rules.

I want to tell you that there was no one I can celebrate my success with when I got a position in my class here in university. There was no one whom I can tell that my teachers admire me and they are happy from me. No one to tell that I got highest marks in my favorite subjects. No one to tell that I got such a good GPA. No one to tell that I made a web site alone and my teacher admired me so much that he said he will buy a domain himself and will make it online. No one to tell that there are three people in my class who have some real skills of web and I am one of them . No one to tell that there are three students in my final year project group but they look at me when they need help and I alone is making that project without any help and my teacher is satisfied with me. Every time I got something, some admiration directly or indirectly no face comes into my mind to whom I can share my happiness. I felt more alone and the happiness faded at once. Sadness prevailed it .

I want to tell you that I took the biggest decision of my life because of you. I gave importance to your choice rather than mine for passing my rest of life with someone. I had a chance, but I never told you people because I thought you will think bad of me , you will get hurt ! I left the person I loved with all my heart, The Person who led me towards Allah’s love. I said yes to the person you selected for me . Why ? Because daddy, you let me lay down on your arm and told me that you liked that boy so much and you want me to accept him. And I did…. For you daddy ! I never thought what would happen to me, I never thought how would I survive with a person I don’t have any feelings , with an empty heart. I still don’t tell you that I pass through so much pain while talking to him and thinking of him. But I do this for you  And you will never know.

I loved you when I was here at home but I valued your worth when I started living in hostel. I missed you so much and all my views about you changed. At first I use to think that you don’t give me what I needed. Now I think that you did your best. You chose a life for me that is the best according to you. You tried to do everything perfect for me. It is just that you never tried to feel what I feel. Do you know why I use to keep laughing when I come home? You think because I am happy and satisfied. But I want to tell you I do this to hide my sadness, my tears. And you will never ever know that.

I don’t want to reveal My inner self to you. That will make you hurt. It will be difficult for you to think your daughter is going through so much pain. You think I am happy about the future you chose for me, I want you to think that for the rest of your life. I feel satisfied when I see you happy. I never want to tell you that How painful is the very thought of my future for me. I want to respect what you think. I will never break your trust on me. Some times when I came out of the washroom after crying for hours and there was a smile on my face you never recognized I have cried. You never read my eyes you never saw my tears. I felt hurt sometimes that you cant see my sadness but It is good I guess.

I want to tell you how alone I am. I want to tell you that I cry every time I am alone and I think of telling that to someone and sometimes your face come to my mind but I always think this will make you worried about me and I cancel the thought of telling you. I want to tell you that I have faced so many big problems in my life and I solved them with out even letting you know. You think my life is so easy and comfortable  I want you to think the same always. I want to see you happy. I use to pray for you after making every prayer. I don’t have any wish for myself. I pray for you and my brothers. You are my life you people are my soul !

Sometimes I wish I could tell you all that. At some point in life, when you hurt me with your words saying  ” You don’t feel what we go through for you people ” Or you don’t feel our worries or things like that. I feel an urge to tell you all this. But then I stop. Think of me like you always do…At least that will make you happy. I want your happiness and I am ready to pay the price for it.

You have done so much for us. I want to tell you that I feel your worries. I feel your pain… my heart melts when I see you in some kind of pain and I cry when I am alone and ask help for you from Allah. You know all my wishes revolve around you. I want my dad to get close to Allah. I know He love Allah so much but I want him to start following the right path. I want my brothers to follow the right path and get all the success and happiness in life. I want my mother to get all her wishes come true and all her worries fade out.

I love you mama and daddy. I want to see you happy. I never want you to see the face behind my mask. I want you to think it is the real me.

I will never tell all this to you. Never ever.

I love you !

And I know Some things are better unsaid !!

Your One And Only Daughter !

Womenous

Recipe - Beauty - Hairstyle - Wedding - Decoration Ideas

Halbe&Gaudin

From Bhuj to Belavala

Emotions Overflowing

“Everything you can imagine is real.”

hareemlutfi's Blog

Smile! You’re at the best WordPress.com site ever

Talking Crap Blog

Just another WordPress.com site

Diary of a quirky girl

Filling your world randomly with sunshine

Ramblings of a Dilettante

"You must go on. I can't go on. I'll go on." – Beckett

All Those Small Things

Something New, Every Day

Ironic-Dimensions

I say, I save - I think, I ink

Scribes of Seldomville

Cheechun KI Malliyan Ki Raaniyan.

fragments of life

Love and Meaning In Spite of Living

Caffeine Poisoning

A shot in the morning will keep you on your feet; too much, and you start rambling like me.