Back Again !

Hey ! I am here again with you people as I always say I can be absent but never for ever ! Hope you all are doing fine. I gave my final presentation and vivas and it all went very well. In fact our Group got the highest marks and stood on first position. Enjoyed alot in these three weeks with my friends… the hang outs , the lunches and dinners, the window shopping and wandering on streets…. Ahh I miss it all !

I never thought leaving my friends would be that difficult…. I never thought I got that much attached to them in these four years…. I never realized how important they were for me….. I realized all this when I was leaving and they all were crying and hugging me like never before and I was crying even harder ! I felt terrible while leaving and I wish time flies back and I value this beautiful relationship !

I never knew before why people write poems and quotations for friendship…… For me friendship was a mere relationship for a specific time…. It was because I got friends before who betrayed me…. I wasn’t aware of the taste of real friendship and when I got it, I got so much busy in enjoying it that I forgot to think about its importance. And now when sitting in my room, alone, I am feeling its importance…………. And I feel torn apart.

We understand the value of things and people truly when they leave us……. I don’t know it is human nature or the nature of some humans !

I will the time I spent in university…. I will miss my beautiful time in hostel….I will miss my friends so much….All my life. I don’t know what life has for me in the future but I know it won’t be more beautiful than the time I just passed.

Will write something about it soon….. In the mean time I have to prepare my brother for his exam.

Love you all.

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I Miss You Today !

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Zoomed-in Human Eye

In my eyes , in the form of tears, you come

Slide your hands through my cheeks , glum

Gather on my neck , kissing it, make me frozen !

 

I dive into the past , those moments pleasant

The few days passed with you, make them my present

See them through my eyes, smile with contentment

 

Then I see the future, my life with open eyes

I get scared , I shiver, a wave of pain arise

It seems empty , hollow and barren without you inside

 

I miss you today, as today can be the last

To miss you or to talk about ‘our’ past

As I am losing that ‘tiny’ right on you today, alas !

 

Eyes are so beautiful , so why they do the hardest task

Of seeing through time, of becoming windows for the pain vast

Of becoming the mirror for the feelings in heart’s glass

 

The bright colors of eyes are insufficient for me to see you

I adore you, be with you and In my heart I see you

I love you and no beauty of eye is required for me to love you

 

This day is the day of pain, the day of finally getting realization

As I hang , between ‘Him’ and you through time of coadunation

You don’t belong to me, why there is still this strong connection ?

 

Memories of The past and The present have jumped on me

Eating my flesh, taking away my strength, they stabbed me

Alone, powerless and hopeless here in the dark they just left me…

 

And like every time I just realized, Missing him wasn’t a good idea !! The lines above may be absurd to you, As ‘myself’ is for me. But this was all I had. Sometimes words are not sufficient to describe what you feel. In fact they are not sufficient at all.

 

 

 

 

A Tribute To Beautiful People Who Wrote Poetry For Me….!

This post is dedicated to beautiful people who wrote poetry for me or in response to my writings and I want to give them credit, appreciation and respect for all the Love !

======================================================

*** Once upon a time, I asked him, “Say something to me !” , And he sent me this piece of poetry. I said, “Can I show it to people” . He said no because it is not special. I want to tell him…. You are special for me. Every word you say is special for me and I value every word coming out of your mouth like precious stones and pearls . This voice comes out of my heart and I mean every word. I Love You !

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This dark night

Without a ray of hope

Hope that gives

You hopelessness

Searching And Searching

A way out ?

Love is hopelessness

Hopelessness is Hope !

    ——————-

Explanation Needs words

Words which means something

Empty mind with meaningless thoughts

Wandering what to say

Only One thing

Love is divine

And I Love You !

=====================================================

*** She is a beautiful Women , a friend and a fellow Blogger from Maldives. Here is the link to her blog. Some days back I saw a caption in My Reader with my name in it and when I opened it, I was excited to see what she dedicated to me ! It was really a lovely gift ! I want to say thank you for these beautiful words .

white-pearl

When she stood at the jetty

Every tear that fell from her eyes to the sea

They changed into little white pearls

They floated on the ocean and sang this beautiful song

“Let out your grieve my sister

We are here for you

Our little love carry your burden!

Oh! Let out your grieve my sister”

“Thank you my dear white pearls

For your love and smile”

Her tears were precious …..

They turned to pearls

They floated on the sea

They lifted her spirit

Little white pearls

They are floating with the waves

And these courageous pearls visited me…

======================================================

*** Maria and Arindam are very Dear friends of mine and fellow bloggers too. Here are is the link to Maria’s and Arindam’s Blog. They wrote some really amazing Answers to My post “Shab-E-Qadar (The Night Of Blessings) ” and I believe their answers made my Poem complete and Responsive ! I love the beautiful words they added to it and I wanted to mention them too here !

By Arindam :

He is too far to see through eyes

But ask your heart, and there lies

Within the veins as blood he flows

Smiling at your success; standing close

He is the smile which makes your day

He is in the tears that who shed in dismay

He dances in the rains and sways with the waves

He flies with the butterflies and lives in the caves

He cries as rains seeing the drying lands

He wanders as freely and swiftly as sands

He teases you as a child, with a sweet mischief

He understands you as a friend in your grief

He even plays the game of love, eternal and pure

He runs with you in the race of life to the target you endure

No only that…

He is in the blazing fire of rage

Of a parrot trapped in the cage

He is in the intimate sight of the one

Immersed in love of his loved one

He is in the everyone; sinful,, ignorant, stupid and wise

The question is just; when his presence do you realize…

—————————————–

By Maria :

There He is

Closer than

You

Can Imagine

Looking

At You

And All

His creations

Smiling

At those

Who

Raise their hands

And Bow their heads

And Kneel

Down

To Pray.

He is There

Closer

Than your nerves.

Inside

Your Heart

Inside

Your Soul.

His existence,

Is very much

The existence

Of all

That is existing.

=========================================================

“I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought, and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.” 

G.K. Chesterton

So Thank You !! ^ __ ^

Late Night Thoughts !

Dark Beautiful Night

Dark Beautiful Night

Standing along the hall way on the second floor in front of my room. It is dark out there.  With the cool breeze passing by me, I look  towards the sky. How can it be so calm and silent ? I question  myself and suddenly burst into tears ! With my lips folded , I am trying to hold back my tears but I can’t. I sat down along the pillar. With tears falling all over my cheeks I started thinking why am I crying. A lot of questions came into my mind and more tears came out. I can hear the echo of questions more clearly now.

I once showed my hand to a girl who knew watching hands with a promise not to tell about my future but just present. She said your mind thinks in so various dimensions at a time. Also you are very sensitive. I feel both things true right now. There are many things going on in my mind. I don’t even decide about which to think of in detail. I just want to know the answers. Why am I not so calm and quiet like this sky, like this night. I am the same dark from inside like this night is and I hide many secrets inside me like this night does.Then why can’t I find peace like this night has in it ?

I just wipe of my tears brutally with my hands and started thinking over again. What am I ? Who am I ? What am I supposed to be ? What should I do ? I am running out of answers. Why do my heart always pinches me inside whenever I see or read something I wished in the past ? Is that wish still inside my heart making me helpless and weak ? I don’t know.

How would I live with the things I never wished about but know they would be a part of my life soon ? Am I that brave ? I guess not. There is fear, there is pain and there is misery. Yes I am scared of my future. I am scared of revelation of my inner self to people who care about me. My mask of happiness is bruised now. It is breaking and I can’t help it.

Is hope an answer to that ? Have I lost hope or Still have it somewhere hidden in my heart ? I can’t think of it. I don’t know it. I am closing my eyes I can’t see my self destroying. It hurts !! It hurts a lot! I wonder why everything seems so deep at night like I feel myself ?

I see people around me with laughter and smiles , playing around with their life and having fun. Then why do I always feel the need to cry ? I want to cry hard right now, I want to scream . I want to take out all the tears and worries and pain inside me all at once. I need a shoulder to cry on. I need someone to console me. to listen to me whatever meaningless things I say. To be with me whatever I say not to leave me alone. And I have no one. I forgot I was like this night, It is alone too.  It can see my real face , it looks right into my eyes and never judges me.

What was the reason I was sent to this earth? What was the reason I was given those great parents and loving family? What was the reason I got all the people in my life I have now ? What was the reason I got the Love Of God by means of Love of human ? Why am I still hanging in between the God’s Love and Human’s love at a time ? No Answers….. My heart is shedding tears silently and my mind is not responding. Probably it has no answers left. No words to say anything that will calm me down.

I wonder why is my vision getting so blur. Why ca’t I see things clearly ? I want to see the depth of this  beautiful night. Everything become so intense and true at night. I want to ask a few things to it. May be it answers ! Resist, Resist and resist ! That is what I do all the time. I resist to express my feelings. I resist to open up. I resist to get things I like. I resist to do things I want. This resistance was an answer to my worries by my True Love. He said if you resist here in this world, you will get everything in the next one and the next one is far more long and good then this one. I am acting upon it ! It seems hard sometimes but I try my best. He said don’t do things which I don’t like and I try not to do them He said you will succeed if you do what I tell you in my book. I try to follow everything. He says you will find peace if you will come to me five times a day. I do it, but I don’t find peace. I want to know the answer, why ? Why am I still empty handed ?

I know these questions would keep biting me inside until I would be eaten and destroyed completely. I hope My True Love give me answers to these. I want to be with Him. I want to get Him. I love when He talks to me and show me signs. Hope is a single way for me now. Hope brings happiness and hope is the answer, ambiguous but that’s all I have. As Einstein says,   “Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.”

I just saw clouds floating on the sky. They look beautiful. Darkness is getting lighter slowly. I stood up , walk with tired steps towards my bed. Here I sleep , again with headache spreading all over my head and tears making my pillow wet. Another night passed, Hoping for a bright morning to come!

Hope For A Beautiful Morning

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