Yes I am getting married. It took me 1 and a half YEAR to realize this single reality…I am getting married.
Though the things beyond this fact are blur. Getting married to whom ? What do I feel ? Why I am doing this ? Why is all this happening ? Everything is blur.
I am going to be a computer scientist in another month. I Love my field now . I got the highest grades and GPA In my class. I am a so called intelligent student in the eyes of teachers. And yet….I am getting married. Just after the completion of my studies.
People say me to be optimistic about my future ! Can I ? Yes I know I should………..!!
The one I wished to pass all my life with….saw all my future dreams with….planned my future with…..is lost in the fog of time and fate !
The one I am going to have a future with….. I never thought about him….I have no feelings , an empty heart for him. This is the future I have to look up to !
I don’t know If I won’t be getting married , I would be doing any job or studying further , My life would be better in Future.
I don’t know either my life would be good with all that seems obvious. I don;t know anything. I am confused.
It took me 1 and a half year to realize the fact that I am getting married. I don’t know how much time I would take to accept the person of my fate.
My Allah and then my parents chose him for me…..and I accepted their wish…with my eyes closed. I couldn’t kill the happiness of my parents . I never gave them any happiness except this one. I am not selfish.
That was the time I stopped wishing for myself. Its hard when you get wounds all over your soul….by the broken pieces of your dreams….and you find no remedy…..no cure.
I have made room for pain in my heart. I know I have to live with what I am given I know I have to accept and I have to Move on !!
It is a difficult task.
Anyway…… I am getting married on 15th February 2014 and You all are Invited.
There should be some caring people to give me their shoulder. After all I need four of them. After all ‘Red’ color is getting ‘white’ for me. After all my marriage may be my funeral.