Abstract Speculation Of A Rainy Day

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Today is  Juma-Tul-Wida (The last Friday of Ramadan Kareem).

The dawn was as hot as the rest of the days of Ramadan passed. Everyone was dying of hotness and clouds use to come daily and left without showering. Fasting in this kind of hotness is hard, very hard. But our Lord says He can’t put burden on us more than we can handle.

As I came out in the noon I saw black clouds on the sky and finally it started raining ! Everyone in my family is so happy right now . I can feel their happiness as their faces look like blooming flowers. Why are Fridays always so lucky ? I said to myself. I went into the rain feeling its cold refreshing drops falling all over me. It felt cold and pleasant. I put a chair right in the middle of the open patio of my house, beside green leaves of a tree and lie on it feeling the rain going into my soul through every pore of my body. I relax here with closed eyes feeling the pleasure of getting my heart washed. I see my family happy around me. Laughing, talking, gossiping and joking, beautiful faces . My dad is sitting right beside me. I felt peace. Real peace . No worries, no problems to think about and nothing to get tensed. Peace, serenity, lull and happiness.

After a while my mind has started doing its ‘endeavor‘. It never stops thinking and I get tired of it sometimes. S[specially at long nights when I want to sleep and couldn’t just because of my mind, awake and thinking. I wonder how it stopped just before this moment when everything was feeling so good and refreshing and Life seems so easy and peaceful.

I caught up a thought about my family and then all the news I heard before on Tv and from people started echoing in my brain. I thought at this very moment when I am sitting peacefully here there would be many atrocious things happening in some part of the world. There may be an innocent child dying in some corner of the world by barbarous people. There may be a drone attack and many innocent people may have been killed in it. There may be a suicide bomber exploding himself , taking lives of many innocent people including him. A father may have been killed by a shot from unknown bike riders in some part of my country. There may be a father killing his own family members or a brother killing his own sisters. There may be a girl being killed at some part of world after getting kidnapped.

There would be a mother, a father crying on death of their angelic children. A brother crying on the death of his sister. Small kids crying on the death of their father. There would be pain in many people’s heart right now. There would be fear in many eyes, the fear of future. There would be restlessness, agony, distress, hurt and terror dancing in the eyes of  some modest simple people.

Thinking of this, this rain water don’t seem refreshing to me anymore. I am feeling like I am dipping my feet in the blood of these people. I feel like the blood of these people is falling right now on me and I am drenched in their blood. I took out my hand and tried to feel the rain drops. They were not rain drops anymore…..

We hear about deaths of people and killings of innocent everyday. On the news in Tv , on some radio channel , on internet or through different people we meet. We hear the news , feel some pain in our heart for the moment , say some words about their loss to show we are sad and then start living our normal life again. We don’t even remember what we heard lately . Why ? Is it really a fact that our blood has turned white? ……Or is this the coldness that is spreading all over inside our hearts with time?

But what if we feel the pain in heart…..what can we do ? What can we do to stop these killings. What can we do to ease the pain of people that were attached to the killed ones? What can we do for the innocent kids left behind all alone ? We are so engaged in our own lives. We are becoming doctors and engineers . We are busy in doing our full time jobs. We are busy in taking care of our kids and raising them. Our lives are so busy we can’t even have time for fulfilling our social responsibilities. Then how can we go far away to the place where these things happen , leaving our life and family far behind and try to help them ? Can we sacrifice our lives for their lives ? Are we brave enough ? I am not…

Then what is our responsibility ? Why do I feel so much pain in my heart when I hear these kind of news and I feel my hands tied?  I feel myself obstruct and powerless . Why can’t I do anything for them? I want to stop all this. I want to ease the pain of people getting suffered. I want to be their voice. But why can’t I move , why do i feel my self tied up hard…………What can I do ?

For what reason did our beloved Messenger said

He who among-st you sees something abominable should modify it with the help of his hand; and if he has not strength enough to do that, then he should do it with his tongue; and if he has not strength enough to do even that, then he should (at least abhor it) from his heart; and that is the least of faith.”

We should act upon this . Shouldn’t we ? Then why do we show like we don’t care about other people. Some of us even don’t abhor the evil doings in our hearts. We care only when something like this happens to our own family. Why are we not able to feel the pain of other people ?

I open my eyes and took a glimpse of my family. I stare at each of their faces and I feel my heart would burst out with pain. I couldn’t even think of anything like that happening to them. I can’t think of losing anyone of them. What would be the feelings of the people who had to face this hell on earth ?

Tears have started coming out of my eyes. But I am lucky, it is raining right now. It will hide my tears from the people I love and I care about. Charlie Chaplin was a really funny man, he tried to make everyone laugh with his actions but his quote about rain always make me realize he was not what everyone assumed him. He said it right.

“I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying.”

I close my eyes again and here I lay thinking and in-questing myself…..all these questions sway in my mind and I try to figure out answers of each. Do you know the answers ?

An Unsorted Unresolved Depress Mind’s Thought On Life……..

question-mark2

Life…..

………..Starts with a white clean paper. Some words emerge on it. Words which are imperative and which needs to be mastered. As the paper start getting filled with words, The purity and cleanliness starts dissipating. The paper starts stuffing with blotches and eruptions. Marks and stains are dispersed over it. Word by word, a full story behind exclusive words. After a while, the paper looks destroyed and damaged. Words are arduous to read because of more blemishes. The blotches, words and torn ups can never be undone. They are not erasable. After a moment, the paper start tearing apart from places and at last, whole paper is turned into small pieces. This is where it ends.

One paragraph, 6 lines , 120 words , 650 letters ! 

And Life Ends…….!!

Happenings , stories, pain, happiness, sadness, tears, suffering, joy, fun, mood, This altogether makes Life !

Everyday, the same routine , the same people, the same happenings, This altogether passes Life !

Silence, pain, illness, heart attack, accident, suicide, age, This Takes Away Life !

This is the life we cry for ? This is the life we get depressed for ? This is the life we plan for ? This is the life we die for ?

Does it worth everything ?

Life is like a candle… Either it slowly melts away or a harsh breath of wind blows it out of existence.
Brittany Ann Smith

Life is short, but it’s long enough to ruin any man who wants to be ruined.
Josh Billings

Life is short. You have to be able to laugh at our pain or we never move on.
Jeff Ross

Men talk of killing time, while time quietly kills them

Dion Boucicault

Life is wasted on the living.
Douglas Adams

I am scared. Scared of the truth. Scared of Life. Scared of death……..

Scared of the 650 letters…………..

Life ?????????

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