Be With Me O Merciful !

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When life is at pause, when time stops and when the trees and birds are still

When my eyes stare at a point in the air , the point that is abstract that is nil

When my body turns into exquisite glass, the vessel through which vision can pass

When a warm stroke of pain emerge from heart and spreads in all the body very fast

When it starts flowing in my blood and with my breath It spreads profusely at last

When it penetrates in every inch of the flesh , Every part whether brain or heart

When my body screams out loud when my heart beats rowdy in my chest

This is the time when a pleasure , a bliss arise and spreads in my body at rest

I become tranced I feel the felicity and solace cascading in my blood

I cry but my heart is stunned in the fun, In the pleasure of this pain’s flood

When I never ask for the pain to stop, when I want it more and more

When the vessel and soul’s desires are opposite, no longer do they adore

Outside; Tears , shiver and pain , Inside; Pleasure , amusement and gain

When I calmly start feeling ‘Him’ Inside myself, while effaced is the pain

When ‘His’ Love then percolates through my blood my soul and my mind

When I feel ‘Him’ closer to the vein in my neck, My breath says ‘He’ is divine

When the vessel made of glass dances with the dance of soul

Dances in the shadow of ‘His’ light, ‘He’ is the partner ‘He’ is the whole

When my mind is stuck on the thought to talk , to see and to Meet ‘Him’

When I forget myself and ‘He’ is left as my world and as my self esteem

I bow and I cry , I become your servant I am the one who needs to find

Be with me O Merciful ! Be with me O My Lord ! Be with me O Kind !

Shab-E-Qadar ( The Night Of Blessings )

Surely We revealed it on the grand night. And what will make you comprehend what the grand night is? The grand night is better than a thousand months. The angels and Gabriel descend in it by the permission of their Lord for every affair, Peace! it is till the break of the morning. – Surah Qadar.

 

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Time ticks , Eye blinks

Where is He ?

Nights passes gently

Seconds And Minutes

Where is He ?

Meet Him , See Him

Desire I

Where is He ?

Bow before Him

Reach the Skies

Searching Him

Passionately

Wish I

Where is He ?

The day of end

Where End is beginning

Why so far

Life so Long, or short

Think I

Where is He ?

Him and only Him

Need , Want

No Heaven

No luxuries

Just He

Around Him

Pray I

Where is He ?

He is inside

He is everywhere

Says He

My Beloved

But

Blind eyes

No sight

Where is He ?

Feel Him

Sense Him

Think Him

Talk to Him

Searching

Praying

Waiting

See Him ?

Can I ?

Where is He ?

Abstract Speculation Of A Rainy Day

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Today is  Juma-Tul-Wida (The last Friday of Ramadan Kareem).

The dawn was as hot as the rest of the days of Ramadan passed. Everyone was dying of hotness and clouds use to come daily and left without showering. Fasting in this kind of hotness is hard, very hard. But our Lord says He can’t put burden on us more than we can handle.

As I came out in the noon I saw black clouds on the sky and finally it started raining ! Everyone in my family is so happy right now . I can feel their happiness as their faces look like blooming flowers. Why are Fridays always so lucky ? I said to myself. I went into the rain feeling its cold refreshing drops falling all over me. It felt cold and pleasant. I put a chair right in the middle of the open patio of my house, beside green leaves of a tree and lie on it feeling the rain going into my soul through every pore of my body. I relax here with closed eyes feeling the pleasure of getting my heart washed. I see my family happy around me. Laughing, talking, gossiping and joking, beautiful faces . My dad is sitting right beside me. I felt peace. Real peace . No worries, no problems to think about and nothing to get tensed. Peace, serenity, lull and happiness.

After a while my mind has started doing its ‘endeavor‘. It never stops thinking and I get tired of it sometimes. S[specially at long nights when I want to sleep and couldn’t just because of my mind, awake and thinking. I wonder how it stopped just before this moment when everything was feeling so good and refreshing and Life seems so easy and peaceful.

I caught up a thought about my family and then all the news I heard before on Tv and from people started echoing in my brain. I thought at this very moment when I am sitting peacefully here there would be many atrocious things happening in some part of the world. There may be an innocent child dying in some corner of the world by barbarous people. There may be a drone attack and many innocent people may have been killed in it. There may be a suicide bomber exploding himself , taking lives of many innocent people including him. A father may have been killed by a shot from unknown bike riders in some part of my country. There may be a father killing his own family members or a brother killing his own sisters. There may be a girl being killed at some part of world after getting kidnapped.

There would be a mother, a father crying on death of their angelic children. A brother crying on the death of his sister. Small kids crying on the death of their father. There would be pain in many people’s heart right now. There would be fear in many eyes, the fear of future. There would be restlessness, agony, distress, hurt and terror dancing in the eyes of  some modest simple people.

Thinking of this, this rain water don’t seem refreshing to me anymore. I am feeling like I am dipping my feet in the blood of these people. I feel like the blood of these people is falling right now on me and I am drenched in their blood. I took out my hand and tried to feel the rain drops. They were not rain drops anymore…..

We hear about deaths of people and killings of innocent everyday. On the news in Tv , on some radio channel , on internet or through different people we meet. We hear the news , feel some pain in our heart for the moment , say some words about their loss to show we are sad and then start living our normal life again. We don’t even remember what we heard lately . Why ? Is it really a fact that our blood has turned white? ……Or is this the coldness that is spreading all over inside our hearts with time?

But what if we feel the pain in heart…..what can we do ? What can we do to stop these killings. What can we do to ease the pain of people that were attached to the killed ones? What can we do for the innocent kids left behind all alone ? We are so engaged in our own lives. We are becoming doctors and engineers . We are busy in doing our full time jobs. We are busy in taking care of our kids and raising them. Our lives are so busy we can’t even have time for fulfilling our social responsibilities. Then how can we go far away to the place where these things happen , leaving our life and family far behind and try to help them ? Can we sacrifice our lives for their lives ? Are we brave enough ? I am not…

Then what is our responsibility ? Why do I feel so much pain in my heart when I hear these kind of news and I feel my hands tied?  I feel myself obstruct and powerless . Why can’t I do anything for them? I want to stop all this. I want to ease the pain of people getting suffered. I want to be their voice. But why can’t I move , why do i feel my self tied up hard…………What can I do ?

For what reason did our beloved Messenger said

He who among-st you sees something abominable should modify it with the help of his hand; and if he has not strength enough to do that, then he should do it with his tongue; and if he has not strength enough to do even that, then he should (at least abhor it) from his heart; and that is the least of faith.”

We should act upon this . Shouldn’t we ? Then why do we show like we don’t care about other people. Some of us even don’t abhor the evil doings in our hearts. We care only when something like this happens to our own family. Why are we not able to feel the pain of other people ?

I open my eyes and took a glimpse of my family. I stare at each of their faces and I feel my heart would burst out with pain. I couldn’t even think of anything like that happening to them. I can’t think of losing anyone of them. What would be the feelings of the people who had to face this hell on earth ?

Tears have started coming out of my eyes. But I am lucky, it is raining right now. It will hide my tears from the people I love and I care about. Charlie Chaplin was a really funny man, he tried to make everyone laugh with his actions but his quote about rain always make me realize he was not what everyone assumed him. He said it right.

“I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying.”

I close my eyes again and here I lay thinking and in-questing myself…..all these questions sway in my mind and I try to figure out answers of each. Do you know the answers ?

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