“I Love You” – A Fiction.

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She said, “I need to talk to you !”

And he never did.

He reminisced. Each time she tried to share her feelings he pushed her away. Every time she cried in front of him, he was pissed off. Each time she said that she needed him with her, he disappeared.

He shouts on her , insults her but she never turned away…. she threw her self respect far away for him….And he use all his self respect and ego against her. Whenever they had a fight, he never apologized and talked to her first. And every time she made him realize that after talking and resolving the fight by apologizing first.

Love of Human

Sacrificed Self respect

Butchered ego

Pleasurable pain

Enchanting heartache

Dying Wishes

Trembling smiles

Tranquility

He never knew through how much pain she has to go through to keep poking him with texts and call when she knew he don’t care. She knew he won’t reply but still she kept staring at the screen for a long time and then burst into tears.

“I Love you”

“I Love you too”

These were the words that begun and end there conversation…..and which were the only words to say when they had nothing else left to say to each other…..and these were the words he kept saying to her almost a hundred times a day……

And he recalled, He was not there for her in her most miserable times….. She stopped sharing her pain because she wanted him in her life.

Tears were dropping by his eyes…one by one…..and he was staring in the air…..

He recalled the texts she left for her in these days….She said she wanted to talk to him but he was angry…He was taking a break from her…He never replied….He never talked to her……..He needed time.

He never knew time is a thing no one can have. It doesn’t breathe but it dies.

She shared her feelings once again this time and like always…..He turned his back on her. He stopped talking…He needed time. She kept talking….. She needed him.

But she had no time left…….

He wiped away his tears , put that red flower on her fresh grave and whispered , ” I Love you and I knew you would wait for me” .

Haunting regrets were all he was left with.

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* P.S Adrift : No, this is not FOR you…. This is ABOUT me. Couldn’t come up with anything better in this misery.

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O December…

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December…. A symbol of sadness and pain, quiet and peace, calmness and reticence. A symbol of unearned Love, unwanted desires and unanswered prayers. Mournful feelings of melancholy and gloom are embedded in its essence. Chilled winds full of woes an abyss….

Friedrich Nietzsche says

“When you stare into the abyss, it stares back at you”

December…. was never like this for me. I read thousands of quotes describing about its sad essence and many people discussing about its sorrowful qualities but I never believed them. It was like other months of the year for me until now….

When In the center of snow , I stand

See white snow  falling on the dry land

When chilling winds give me shiver

Sadness prevailed, Tears do wither

I see myself lost in the winds and snow

And here I stand, with agony and woe

Both my best friends yet worst enemies

And here I stand, invisible and vanished

Like shadows vanishing with nights

Cold that makes our inside, cold !

Blood freezes inside veins, Lifeless heart

Pumps it hard but never succeeds

And I am left with the effortless efforts and

unanswered questions, question marks

When every way I see is not for me

And I want to move, without ways , in abyss

White Darkness; The only thing I see

Rays of hope fainted , I am abandoned

In the horrifying cage of December…..

Empty handed I stand, Lifeless I grow

A soul-less statue I form, lost in the glow

Of December, The month of gloom and abyss…..

O December….

“He had been walking for a long time, ever since dark in fact, and dark falls soon in December.”

(“The Old House In Vauxhall Walk”)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Story of a date

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When words lost their meanings, when silence was the language

When barren was the heart, a rock , a stone, life bitter and tart

When tears were the drink, a sobbing champagne, a pain pie

I enjoyed dinner in perfect ambiance, with a partner ‘solitude’

Who being lovely enough to be hated, was a truth hidden in a lie

I danced that night , in madness, over sharp pieces of glass

With poison in stomach , wrapped in arms of ecstasy and trance

When It kissed me with knives , left me with pleasurable wounds

When I lost myself Inside me, when I was nowhere to be found

That night I was punished, in the fire of burning hell on ground

That night my soul was bruised , with all thrones gathered around

Ah! that night ended before the start, after agony became my best friend

Now every path is of pain , I want to walk without a path, is it a dead end ?

You want me to still have hope ? I have it. You want me to still try to stay happy ? I try. You want me to think positive ? I do.

I just need time to gather up myself again…..

 

 

 

 

Chalo Ab Phool Chuntay Hain (Urdu Poetry)

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Chalo ab phool chuntay hain

Bohat zakham seh leyay, bohat dukh utha leye

Chalo ab kadam barhao k khushiyan chunnay ka waqt aya hai

Ao khushiyun ko ik naya taaru’f detay hain

Janti hun bohat zakhmi ho tum, Lahulahaan hai rooh tumhari

Aj bhi zakhmun se khoon rasta hai k ye zakham bharnay k naheen

Aj bhi marham milta hai na marham laganay wala

Aj b dil k dard se ankhain bojhal ho jati hain

Per bas ab aur naheen

Rooh katti phatti hai tu kya hua…. Ankhain tu salamat hain

Saans bhi chal rahi hai abhi , dil b dharakta hai seenay me

Chalo k ab phoolun ko marham banana hai

In zakhmun ko pher se chupana hai

Chalo k ab ‘mein’ ko khatam ker k ‘tu’ hona hai

Tumhari kahani ka ikhtataam aagya

Ab Allah ki likhi hue kahani shuru honi hai

Aur Allah tu apnay wadun se kabhi mukarta naheen ?

Chalo k ab khawabun ko ankhun me utarnay se pehlay

Qatal kerna seekhna hai

Chalo k ab gham ko bhi khusi bana ker

Galay lagana seekhna hai

Ansun ko dil k under utaarna seekhna hai

K ansun ko pehchannay walay log khatam ho gay

Chalo k dil ko pathar kerna hai , Zindagi ko moum kerna hai

Khizaan me bhi phool chunnay ki adat daalni hai

Is umeed per k shaid ab khizan me b pattay haray bharay rahain

Umeed per tu duniya qaem hai

Chalo hum bhi umeed lagatay hain

Pher se dia jalatay hain…..

Chalo ab phool chuntay hain……

K kuch haq hamara bhi tu hai in phoolun per ?

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Scared Of GoodByes

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Scared of Goodbyes

Afraid of departures

She couldn’t bear

Fearful heart and sorrowful sighs

The good bye hugs

The tears and moans

Pain rendering faces

Missing heart beats

The thought of never meeting again

The brain bangs

Beautiful memories fading into darkness

Of never ending forest

The thick fog of flashbacks

Was contaminated by thoughts of future

Nostalgia

The full stop

Was  it all an illusion ?

Pain exploded out

Of everything

It started raining

As the sky felt her

Winds were companions

Soft and cool

Sadness prevailed

Silence shouted

Her soul shivered

She closed her eyes

Made fists

As if she was locking

Weakness in them

And

She left

Silently…..

Without saying good bye

She was scared of good byes

The Black Rose

Black-Rose

Under the shadows of savage life , deep inside the dark forest.

A black rose possessed its tragic existence.

It was out cast and unwanted despite all its fragrance and radiance , It never fits in the relinquishing blooms.

It was cultivating loneliness in the presence of the whole forest and hence loneliness was out-grown !

It was growing thorns since the beginning as it always knew the one who dares not grasp the thorn should never crave the rose….

No one watered it, It nourished on its own till its ravishing bloom appeared…..It was always taken ‘For Granted’ and it bestowed an ancient confidence.

And one day it started burning but no one had time to grieve over it because they were busy admiring the forest…

All it ever wanted was to reach out and touch the hearts of other roses…. It wanted some Love but it forgot that all great and precious things are always lonely in the forest.

Its eyes were glued on life and they were full of tears…. It bled tears and its petals absorbed them silently…. It never gave a plaintive cry but its silence was deafening !

Slowly with the prolonged grief, the petals became pale. Autumn prevailed over it…in spring !

And then ‘Black’ was gone… All that was left was pinching thorns and pale stems. It followed the quickest path of self-destruction that was to push away all the loved ones, all the wishes.

The descent stripped it bare and left it as it was at its core, It was painful… It was abashed, ruined.

Black was gone… The beauty was gone…. The lustrous shine was turned to painful sighs…

The Black Rose was a part of the forest now !

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I have been busy these days in final presentation and stuff. I will reply to your comments as soon as I get free. I hope you will not mind and stay with me . Wish me luck. Thanks !

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Grave Is Your Destination…

PakGraves

 

** Urdu lines are taken from a Naat read by Junaid Jamshed.

Duniya k aye musaafir , Manzil teri Qabar hai

Manzil teri qabar hai…

Tay ker raha hai jo tu, do din ka ye safar hai

du din ka ye safar hai…

O traveler of the world, grave is your destination

Grave is your destination…

The one you are travelling, is a two days exploration

Is a two days exploration…

Sitting at the back seat in the car by window side, she settled her head at corner of the window glass. Her eyes were wandering along the trees and the roads…. people of different ages on various vehicles, In a hurry to reach somewhere, to do something…. alone or with their families…. Colorful clothes…. Chatting , smiling faces…… Energetic and glowing children running by the road side…. bright blue clouds…. It was Eid day… Eid which is a second name for happiness……..

Ankhon sa tu nay apni , kitnay janazay dekhay ?

Hathon sa tunay  apnay , dafnay kitnay murday ?

Dafnay Kitnay murday….

Anjam sa tu apnay , kyun itna be khabar hai ?

Kyun Itna Be khabar hai…

With your own eyes, how many funerals have you witnessed ?

With your own hands, How many dead’s have you buried ?

How many dead’s have you buried…

Of your consequence, why are you so ignorant ?

Why are you so ignorant…

She had a bad mood since morning that day… She cried over small things… It was Eid ! She was supposed to be happy but she locked herself in her room and cried her heart out laying down on the floor… She realized her last Eid was the same… It started with tears too…and the third last Eid….and the previous ones… She realized ‘Eid’s ‘ are not made for her…. She realized her ‘Eid’ had not come yet… She realized she had no part in today’s happiness…… Or any happiness at all ?

Why ? Why don’t I have the right to feel happy like normal people ? Why don’t you feel me ? She had questions for Him….. He was not answering !

Then she realized she had been thinking about her past and the future , all her life…every moment of her present , she never had a present. Her present was filled with thoughts of the past or worries of the future. She thought, what If she dies today , this very moment ? What has she done to herself ?

Makhmal main sonay walay, mitti main so rahay hain

shah o gada yaha per , sub ek ho rahay hain

Sab aik ho rahay hain….

Dono hoye barabar ye mout ka asar hay

Ye mout ka asar hai…

The ones who slept in silk, are sleeping now in clay

Kings and servants here, are all getting same…

Are all getting same…

Both got equal, this is the effect of death

This is the effect of death…

Her mom was calling her….She was saying her to get ready…to wear colorful clothes…to be lively…. And she was dead already. She never knew for what parents is this said,  that they can know what is in your heart by looking at your eyes…

She had to be happy for the ones who love her and who can’t see her sad. She had to live in present for some time. She had to get rid of the unending dark loneliness inside her… May be thinking about life is not what should be done. May be death is the ultimate truth to be thought of….She stood up. She had to fake it again.

After all the fear of death follows from the fear of life….

 

 

A Dream………

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Slept hearing the sounds of her own sobs and weep

On a damp pillow , swollen eyes and heart with cuts deep

Wakes up gliding in a sea of her own tears

With nobody around , Loneliness and no fears

 

She lie there with arms bent around her knees

Staring at the pervasive vastness of limitless seas

People who modified her life were not around

Busy in their own lives they made her astound

 

Alone she stand to face her life planned by them

To reveal and to hunt, whether to find sand or a gem

She thought she had cried over her loss for long

Now she had to take a step forward and be strong

 

Life has to pass, through laughs or through cries

Choosing the easy way is clever, higher she flies

Leaving behind everyone she loved before

Preparing herself to love one’s she never adore

 

Looking at the reflection of her face in pool of her own tears

She threw into it, her love her dreams, wishes and her fears

Shivering inside, feeling helpless, lonely but calm and quiet

She bestowed herself to Him, He is the one who is just right

 

Preparing to fly high, she looks at the clear blue sky

Shoulders without burden , she took a warm sigh

Wishing to feel all her life , the same optimism’s gleam

But sad she was , because this was only a dream…..!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Be With Me O Merciful !

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When life is at pause, when time stops and when the trees and birds are still

When my eyes stare at a point in the air , the point that is abstract that is nil

When my body turns into exquisite glass, the vessel through which vision can pass

When a warm stroke of pain emerge from heart and spreads in all the body very fast

When it starts flowing in my blood and with my breath It spreads profusely at last

When it penetrates in every inch of the flesh , Every part whether brain or heart

When my body screams out loud when my heart beats rowdy in my chest

This is the time when a pleasure , a bliss arise and spreads in my body at rest

I become tranced I feel the felicity and solace cascading in my blood

I cry but my heart is stunned in the fun, In the pleasure of this pain’s flood

When I never ask for the pain to stop, when I want it more and more

When the vessel and soul’s desires are opposite, no longer do they adore

Outside; Tears , shiver and pain , Inside; Pleasure , amusement and gain

When I calmly start feeling ‘Him’ Inside myself, while effaced is the pain

When ‘His’ Love then percolates through my blood my soul and my mind

When I feel ‘Him’ closer to the vein in my neck, My breath says ‘He’ is divine

When the vessel made of glass dances with the dance of soul

Dances in the shadow of ‘His’ light, ‘He’ is the partner ‘He’ is the whole

When my mind is stuck on the thought to talk , to see and to Meet ‘Him’

When I forget myself and ‘He’ is left as my world and as my self esteem

I bow and I cry , I become your servant I am the one who needs to find

Be with me O Merciful ! Be with me O My Lord ! Be with me O Kind !

I Miss You Today !

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Zoomed-in Human Eye

In my eyes , in the form of tears, you come

Slide your hands through my cheeks , glum

Gather on my neck , kissing it, make me frozen !

 

I dive into the past , those moments pleasant

The few days passed with you, make them my present

See them through my eyes, smile with contentment

 

Then I see the future, my life with open eyes

I get scared , I shiver, a wave of pain arise

It seems empty , hollow and barren without you inside

 

I miss you today, as today can be the last

To miss you or to talk about ‘our’ past

As I am losing that ‘tiny’ right on you today, alas !

 

Eyes are so beautiful , so why they do the hardest task

Of seeing through time, of becoming windows for the pain vast

Of becoming the mirror for the feelings in heart’s glass

 

The bright colors of eyes are insufficient for me to see you

I adore you, be with you and In my heart I see you

I love you and no beauty of eye is required for me to love you

 

This day is the day of pain, the day of finally getting realization

As I hang , between ‘Him’ and you through time of coadunation

You don’t belong to me, why there is still this strong connection ?

 

Memories of The past and The present have jumped on me

Eating my flesh, taking away my strength, they stabbed me

Alone, powerless and hopeless here in the dark they just left me…

 

And like every time I just realized, Missing him wasn’t a good idea !! The lines above may be absurd to you, As ‘myself’ is for me. But this was all I had. Sometimes words are not sufficient to describe what you feel. In fact they are not sufficient at all.

 

 

 

 

Guest Post : Fallen

A guest Post by my dearest brother Arindam Saha.

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Swinging along with the breeze

With other leaves on other trees

A-midst the clutter as wind passes by

With the birds as they hastily fly

Hanging from a branch, I watch the sky

With the sun hidden, as clouds float by

But all of a sudden I watch him leave

An old comrade who told not to grieve

He had lost grip of the tree

And now he floats; forever free!

He flutters, and flows, and turns around

And merrily he smiles and falls on ground

I look around and then realize

A splendid miracle, a pleasant surprise

As millions of leaves from thousands of trees

Fall on the ground guided by the breeze

I witness the most formidable treat

As millions leave their homes sweet

To agglomerate into the divine rain

And head to their destiny without refrain

And then I realize that alongside me

Were you, on the same branch of the tree

And together with me, you too did see

How leaves fell and set themselves free

Today we adore this mighty tree

Swing in breeze and chatter do we

Provide shade to the travelers on road

And listen to the birds’ same old ode

But O dear friend these days are few

When we are adorned by the morning dew

Soon we would be old and whither away

And I am so scared imaging that day

The day when breeze would be only so strong

And leaves would yet again compose their song

They would merrily dance and rejoice

But I would have no other choice

O friend so dear, would you come along

As we danced in synchrony to the same song?

Would you come along on the journey profound

Even on the day I fall on the ground?

A Rhyme of Heaven and ‘Him’

 

paradise-waterfall-wallpaper-1440-900-6540 Lakes Of Chocolate and Milk

 Ponds Of Wine Pure

 Lustrous Clothes Of Silk

 Diamonds On Trees To Adore

 

 

 

birds-wallpaper-in-rain-5                 Bird’s Melodious tweet

Wind’s music along

Rain drops as beats

Make a symphonic song

 

 

 

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Fresh soft Flower petals shire

Natural beauty of fawn

No unfulfilled desire

Peace holds, worries gone

 

 

 

el-refugio

Artistic Comfortable Homes

Partners of your choice

All Luxuries Known

Contented , peaceful life

 

 

 

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No Hatred No Frowns

For the people fellow

Each bad feeling gone

Harshness turned Mellow

 

 

 

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The ever-awaited Paradise

A choice of entire

A pleasant sublime surprise

A PERFECT Life prior

 

 

 

 

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Why don’t my heart feel

Tempting enough to get

Why hard enough to deal

Complexity of my mind-set

 

 

 

 

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Why do I just need

‘His’ companionship forever

A sight of ‘Him’ , plead

‘He’ , whatsoever !

 

 

 

 

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‘His’ calm lap to sit safely

‘His’ shoulder to cry on

‘His’ feet to sleep like baby

‘His’ service till the life gone

 

 

 

 

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The passionate Love

Sentiments stoutly fixed

The eternal Gratitude

Divine emotions mixed

 

 

 

 

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Never mean to disrespect

My Love Divine

Every inch of my heart wet

For the Love to be mine

 

 

 

 

 

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Waiting for your silence to break

For illumination of my inner sun

Take my heaven make me slave

I bow , I beg , Please don’t shun

 

 

 

 

 

‘Heartache’

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Caustic heavy heart beat drumming in ears

The very choking breath full of fears

The restlessness, hopelessness, pain arise

Rubbing hands, Hollowness, tears in eyes

 

The severe agony thinking about the future

The regrets while peeking into the past

Eating my heart like beetles eat wood

Not letting me do, what I should !

 

The wish to have a wound on my body

The urge to scratch it hard with nails

That pain would kill the pain in heart

The blood would cause the heartache frail

Stepping singly on the graves of wishes

Each one arises and cause acute affliction

Somewhere deep down a part of heart itches

Takes me back to the endless expedition

The questions bubble into my mind

Like the sky with soft white clouds aligned

Am I bipolar , mystic , schizophrenic , wacky brain ?

Or I am just having the ‘Heartache’ again.

A Tribute To Beautiful People Who Wrote Poetry For Me….!

This post is dedicated to beautiful people who wrote poetry for me or in response to my writings and I want to give them credit, appreciation and respect for all the Love !

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*** Once upon a time, I asked him, “Say something to me !” , And he sent me this piece of poetry. I said, “Can I show it to people” . He said no because it is not special. I want to tell him…. You are special for me. Every word you say is special for me and I value every word coming out of your mouth like precious stones and pearls . This voice comes out of my heart and I mean every word. I Love You !

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This dark night

Without a ray of hope

Hope that gives

You hopelessness

Searching And Searching

A way out ?

Love is hopelessness

Hopelessness is Hope !

    ——————-

Explanation Needs words

Words which means something

Empty mind with meaningless thoughts

Wandering what to say

Only One thing

Love is divine

And I Love You !

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*** She is a beautiful Women , a friend and a fellow Blogger from Maldives. Here is the link to her blog. Some days back I saw a caption in My Reader with my name in it and when I opened it, I was excited to see what she dedicated to me ! It was really a lovely gift ! I want to say thank you for these beautiful words .

white-pearl

When she stood at the jetty

Every tear that fell from her eyes to the sea

They changed into little white pearls

They floated on the ocean and sang this beautiful song

“Let out your grieve my sister

We are here for you

Our little love carry your burden!

Oh! Let out your grieve my sister”

“Thank you my dear white pearls

For your love and smile”

Her tears were precious …..

They turned to pearls

They floated on the sea

They lifted her spirit

Little white pearls

They are floating with the waves

And these courageous pearls visited me…

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*** Maria and Arindam are very Dear friends of mine and fellow bloggers too. Here are is the link to Maria’s and Arindam’s Blog. They wrote some really amazing Answers to My post “Shab-E-Qadar (The Night Of Blessings) ” and I believe their answers made my Poem complete and Responsive ! I love the beautiful words they added to it and I wanted to mention them too here !

By Arindam :

He is too far to see through eyes

But ask your heart, and there lies

Within the veins as blood he flows

Smiling at your success; standing close

He is the smile which makes your day

He is in the tears that who shed in dismay

He dances in the rains and sways with the waves

He flies with the butterflies and lives in the caves

He cries as rains seeing the drying lands

He wanders as freely and swiftly as sands

He teases you as a child, with a sweet mischief

He understands you as a friend in your grief

He even plays the game of love, eternal and pure

He runs with you in the race of life to the target you endure

No only that…

He is in the blazing fire of rage

Of a parrot trapped in the cage

He is in the intimate sight of the one

Immersed in love of his loved one

He is in the everyone; sinful,, ignorant, stupid and wise

The question is just; when his presence do you realize…

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By Maria :

There He is

Closer than

You

Can Imagine

Looking

At You

And All

His creations

Smiling

At those

Who

Raise their hands

And Bow their heads

And Kneel

Down

To Pray.

He is There

Closer

Than your nerves.

Inside

Your Heart

Inside

Your Soul.

His existence,

Is very much

The existence

Of all

That is existing.

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“I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought, and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.” 

G.K. Chesterton

So Thank You !! ^ __ ^

Frustration !!

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This vast ample hustling universe

Feels congested, pinched and suffocating to me

Engaged in profuse conventional chores

Swallowing my own tears,  feeling them in throat

I feel an urge to lock myself in a small black room

Without any window and no doors

Where I can cry out loud

And there is no one to hear me

Where I can scream to my voice’s full intensity

And there is no one to judge me

Where I can stretch my hair,  rub my eyes, punch the wall

And there is no one to say me absurd

Where I can lay sobbing for the time I need

And no one come to ask me ‘why’

Yes, I need a break from this vast hustling universe

And yet I wish No one descry my absence

I may sound imprudent,  moronic, thick-headed

But Yes,  I am frustrated !

I am Frustrated, thwarted !

And I need a break !

‘What Are We’

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Affection, Affliction, Repulsion

Melancholy, Emotions

Blistering Fresh Wound

Elated Cheerful Sound

Our Heart !

Investigating , Envisaging, Answering

Straying And Rambling

Like Clouds

Our Mind !

Hollow, Vaulted, Ephemeral

Argil and Immaterial

A Mere Vessel

Our Body !

What Are We ?

“Guilty As Charged”

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I am a prisoner.

I am a prisoner of my own self.

I did a crime and ended up in this prison.

You know , what was the crime ?

I saw Dreams !

Dreams of a “happy” and “contented” Life

Dreams of “peace” and “Love”

Dreams of “calm” and “blessed” Me !

And these Dreams were a crime

That Day

I cried, I screamed, I begged

What is my fault ?

They said, The same

You saw dreams

You expected for a beautiful Life

You hoped for happiness

You did wrong !

You knew the rules

Expectations always hurt

Dreams always break

Love always hurt

But still, you did the crime

Now this is your punishment

You have to live

In a prison of your own self !

You will Die every day

But there will be no one to cry on your death

You will burn in your own fire

But there will be no one to put it off

You will hurt your feet everyday

Walking on the broken pieces of your dreams

But there will be no one to protect you

You are forever alone

You are forever a prisoner

This is your punishment.

Till that day

I cry out loud, I scream

I ask them, was my fault so big ?

Do I deserve this suffering ?

Every time they say the same

Yes, because you saw Dreams !

My feet are bleeding

By walking on the broken shards

My body is tired

Walking on these paths

I am hollow , I am dead inside

I see my dreams coming true in someone other’s life

And I cry, I screech with pain

But there is no one there for me

No one to feel my pain, No one to see my tears

Why Me ? Why my life ?

Because I saw dreams……………

I am tired

I am exasperated

I have started realizing now

Yes this was my fault

I saw dreams

I did a crime

And I am “guilty As Charged”

 

 

 

A Bad Dream Of Reality

black-darkness-girl-sad-trees-Favim.com-203027

Strolling in a garden

Full of flowers and green grass

Shining sun and flying butterflies

Humming birds with sparkling eyes

I was spreading my arms

Closing my eyes and starting to dance

And Then

I felt myself suffocating

Eyes started to bleed

The sun with shining rays

Was fading with all its heat

The flowers started turning black

The birds were dying

Losing their feat

The colors turned to black and white

And Transition was complete…..!

I shivered and shivered sitting on my knees

Till someone whispered slowly

This is not the world transforming

You have seen the reflection of inner self

Vague Spot where imagination and absoluteness meets…..

Story Of Love…….And Death !

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Once upon a time there was a princess living far away from her parents at a scary place. She had no other choice. She once used to be happy all the time. She smiled with her heart and made everyone happy with her words. She cherished each moment she had and take out all the fun for her. She was calm from inside and had no worries .

Then Something happened to her. She fell In Love…… Love that is a second name for pain and love that destroys…. The love of “human being”. It made her sad…. She stopped smiling. She stopped laughing and playing. She cried every time , all night. All the fun was lost. She was broken inside. Her ego which she used to feel proud of was dashed to ground. She lost her self respect. She lost her self ! But with all the pain, She was satisfied. Why ? Because the one she loved was with her. She use to think whenever she will feel pain she will tell her love. It will listen, It will calm her down It will help her But she didn’t know….. Love is never meant to help !! She thought of telling all her problems to Love and the thought that it will hear , It will be with her to make peace inside her.

And then her love was suddenly someone else’s !! She thought she lost her love . It was someone else’s fate. She use to pray for it all the time. It was everything she had. She was lonely In this cruel world without it. But seeing it, going to someone else tore her apart !! She was broken to pieces. She then realized what pain was ! She then realized what she was ! She came to know truth’s , the secrets. Secrets that are evil, That are scary but they are realities !!  She discovered why she was on this earth. Why she did all what she did. And who created her and for what purpose. Secrets were revealed to her.

And what happened next ? What happened today ? She died…….. Why ?

Because she did a mistake. She actually told her love , her feelings. She told him what was her problems and what is she facing. She tried to show it her misery. And In return she wanted nothing but sympathy. But she never knew love was meant to leave….Love was meant to break !! Break an alive man !! The love denied to help her. The love stroke her expectations to ground. The love let her down ! It never understood it never listened ! It never sympathized her ! It made her heart tear with something hard….It made her eyes bleed. It left her bleeding…..alone.

watercolor-portrait-painting-pain-woman-female-face-art-drip-color-emotion-eyes

It was not the loved one guilty….It was Love …. Which was Guilty…. as always ! With all its glory and characteristics….. Happens to be the same despite of to whom it happened.

She cried and cried…..lying down on her bed , legs folded and hands on her face…. She cried with pain spreading inside all the body like poison…… And slowly…….. She died !!

People die….. they have to.  She was princess but her death affected no one ! No one’s life was stopped cause of her….. She was nothing. Princess’s parents missed her for some time and then they were engaged dealing with their other children. She was no where but she was watching them….She was realizing how ordinary she was. She was not even like a small leaf or a grain of sand. Even they had a purpose, a use.

This was a story……a real story. The story of love…or the story of death! This may be the story of you….And You….And you….. Everyone knows !

This is the truth. This is life. We are all like that princess. We feel the same , sometime in our life . Our ways, our passages are different but we have same destination. Life comes with different faces for everyone but the core the reality is same. We face everything same , through different means. And after happening everything. we realize we were nothing! We are nothing ! Life can’t stop because of us ! No process can wait for us…..Life has to go on and we will be left behind !

Love…….Pain……..Ecstasy……..Nothingness……Hell.

This is the path….This is it !!!

Pain_mle46-v

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