Shab-E-Qadar ( The Night Of Blessings )

Surely We revealed it on the grand night. And what will make you comprehend what the grand night is? The grand night is better than a thousand months. The angels and Gabriel descend in it by the permission of their Lord for every affair, Peace! it is till the break of the morning. – Surah Qadar.

 

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Time ticks , Eye blinks

Where is He ?

Nights passes gently

Seconds And Minutes

Where is He ?

Meet Him , See Him

Desire I

Where is He ?

Bow before Him

Reach the Skies

Searching Him

Passionately

Wish I

Where is He ?

The day of end

Where End is beginning

Why so far

Life so Long, or short

Think I

Where is He ?

Him and only Him

Need , Want

No Heaven

No luxuries

Just He

Around Him

Pray I

Where is He ?

He is inside

He is everywhere

Says He

My Beloved

But

Blind eyes

No sight

Where is He ?

Feel Him

Sense Him

Think Him

Talk to Him

Searching

Praying

Waiting

See Him ?

Can I ?

Where is He ?

Abstract Speculation Of A Rainy Day

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Today is  Juma-Tul-Wida (The last Friday of Ramadan Kareem).

The dawn was as hot as the rest of the days of Ramadan passed. Everyone was dying of hotness and clouds use to come daily and left without showering. Fasting in this kind of hotness is hard, very hard. But our Lord says He can’t put burden on us more than we can handle.

As I came out in the noon I saw black clouds on the sky and finally it started raining ! Everyone in my family is so happy right now . I can feel their happiness as their faces look like blooming flowers. Why are Fridays always so lucky ? I said to myself. I went into the rain feeling its cold refreshing drops falling all over me. It felt cold and pleasant. I put a chair right in the middle of the open patio of my house, beside green leaves of a tree and lie on it feeling the rain going into my soul through every pore of my body. I relax here with closed eyes feeling the pleasure of getting my heart washed. I see my family happy around me. Laughing, talking, gossiping and joking, beautiful faces . My dad is sitting right beside me. I felt peace. Real peace . No worries, no problems to think about and nothing to get tensed. Peace, serenity, lull and happiness.

After a while my mind has started doing its ‘endeavor‘. It never stops thinking and I get tired of it sometimes. S[specially at long nights when I want to sleep and couldn’t just because of my mind, awake and thinking. I wonder how it stopped just before this moment when everything was feeling so good and refreshing and Life seems so easy and peaceful.

I caught up a thought about my family and then all the news I heard before on Tv and from people started echoing in my brain. I thought at this very moment when I am sitting peacefully here there would be many atrocious things happening in some part of the world. There may be an innocent child dying in some corner of the world by barbarous people. There may be a drone attack and many innocent people may have been killed in it. There may be a suicide bomber exploding himself , taking lives of many innocent people including him. A father may have been killed by a shot from unknown bike riders in some part of my country. There may be a father killing his own family members or a brother killing his own sisters. There may be a girl being killed at some part of world after getting kidnapped.

There would be a mother, a father crying on death of their angelic children. A brother crying on the death of his sister. Small kids crying on the death of their father. There would be pain in many people’s heart right now. There would be fear in many eyes, the fear of future. There would be restlessness, agony, distress, hurt and terror dancing in the eyes of  some modest simple people.

Thinking of this, this rain water don’t seem refreshing to me anymore. I am feeling like I am dipping my feet in the blood of these people. I feel like the blood of these people is falling right now on me and I am drenched in their blood. I took out my hand and tried to feel the rain drops. They were not rain drops anymore…..

We hear about deaths of people and killings of innocent everyday. On the news in Tv , on some radio channel , on internet or through different people we meet. We hear the news , feel some pain in our heart for the moment , say some words about their loss to show we are sad and then start living our normal life again. We don’t even remember what we heard lately . Why ? Is it really a fact that our blood has turned white? ……Or is this the coldness that is spreading all over inside our hearts with time?

But what if we feel the pain in heart…..what can we do ? What can we do to stop these killings. What can we do to ease the pain of people that were attached to the killed ones? What can we do for the innocent kids left behind all alone ? We are so engaged in our own lives. We are becoming doctors and engineers . We are busy in doing our full time jobs. We are busy in taking care of our kids and raising them. Our lives are so busy we can’t even have time for fulfilling our social responsibilities. Then how can we go far away to the place where these things happen , leaving our life and family far behind and try to help them ? Can we sacrifice our lives for their lives ? Are we brave enough ? I am not…

Then what is our responsibility ? Why do I feel so much pain in my heart when I hear these kind of news and I feel my hands tied?  I feel myself obstruct and powerless . Why can’t I do anything for them? I want to stop all this. I want to ease the pain of people getting suffered. I want to be their voice. But why can’t I move , why do i feel my self tied up hard…………What can I do ?

For what reason did our beloved Messenger said

He who among-st you sees something abominable should modify it with the help of his hand; and if he has not strength enough to do that, then he should do it with his tongue; and if he has not strength enough to do even that, then he should (at least abhor it) from his heart; and that is the least of faith.”

We should act upon this . Shouldn’t we ? Then why do we show like we don’t care about other people. Some of us even don’t abhor the evil doings in our hearts. We care only when something like this happens to our own family. Why are we not able to feel the pain of other people ?

I open my eyes and took a glimpse of my family. I stare at each of their faces and I feel my heart would burst out with pain. I couldn’t even think of anything like that happening to them. I can’t think of losing anyone of them. What would be the feelings of the people who had to face this hell on earth ?

Tears have started coming out of my eyes. But I am lucky, it is raining right now. It will hide my tears from the people I love and I care about. Charlie Chaplin was a really funny man, he tried to make everyone laugh with his actions but his quote about rain always make me realize he was not what everyone assumed him. He said it right.

“I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying.”

I close my eyes again and here I lay thinking and in-questing myself…..all these questions sway in my mind and I try to figure out answers of each. Do you know the answers ?

Many Problems, One Solution…..The Complete Code Of Life !

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The Code Of Life

I noticed, My eyes were filling with water. It started coming out , Through my cheeks towards the neck. Drop by drop, making a continuous line and I let it flow. I kept reading. The first page was ending . I started the second page. Stopped for a while , sobbed some more , wiped my eyes to make the vision clear and continued again. The third page was starting. I noticed my voice started trembling because of the intense feelings in my heart. I continued till I reached the fourth page. I felt like someone is slowly taking away all the restlessness and pain from my heart. I started feeling ease when I reached the fifth page. I felt peace at once. I remembered, I was in search of peace. There were no more tears and the intense feeling. I stopped reading. Closed it slowly, Kissed it , touched it with my fore head and Placed it at the upper shelf of my cupboard. I was Thankful.

————X————–

I was having a problem. I was feeling pressure and my head was heavy with stress. I can’t sleep because I was thinking about the problem continuously. As I was thinking more, The pressure was increasing. I couldn’t find the solution . I thought and thought , but all in vain. I was tensed. I tried to ask some people about the solution but no one was able to give answer. I picked it up, sat down on my bed and started reading it. As I read, I beg Him in my heart to solve my problem with his blessings because My efforts are not enough. I begged and begged with my true heart, and continued reading . Till I started feeling the heaviness of my head was getting lesser. I was satisfied. I felt the problem fading . I put the book back on its place. After a day, The problem was solved. Tears of joy were filled in my eyes. I was Thankful again.

————-X————–

There was a question in my mind relevant indirectly to Him. I was in search of its answer. I looked and looked , Pondered upon but found nothing. I felt a strong urge to cry , feeling my restlessness. I wanted the answer so bad. It was irritating me, It wasn’t letting me think about anything else. I picked the same book off its place and started reading it with meanings. I read. And suddenly when I was reciting the meanings, I got the answer of that question that was annoying me to an extent. So simply written with the other lines, but it was such a benediction for me, That I, Just I was aware of it. I felt like the writer of book has put the answer in my mind. I felt like a bud just blossomed into a flower in my heart. I felt a like a wave of happiness just tickled my heart. With a smile on my face, I kissed it with gratitude and put it back. I was Thankful once again.

————-X————–

I was in complete depression. There were extreme explosions happening in my head. Many reasons were combined to put me in that position. I wasn’t feeling comfort anywhere. I was trying hard to make my soul relax for a while but this was not happening. I was crying and crying … Hard ! I couldn’t find ease at all. The book was there, right on its place. It was in front of my eyes but I couldn’t read it. I was losing courage and hope. I was angry with its creator, with its writer. I failed myself and Him. This depression had no end, I thought. I got up, ate sleeping pills with water and back to my bed. I was sleeping.

Next day when I got up, I was feeling hatred from my own self. I was feeling guilty. I picked up the book, Opened it and without reading a word, Started talking to its writer. I apologized , I admitted my guilt, I asked for forgiveness. There was gratification all over in my heart. I closed my eyes to feel all the peace. I was Thankful and Contented….AGAIN!

————-X—————

Read!

In the name of thy Lord and Cherish-er,

Who created– Created man, out of a clot of congealed blood:

Proclaim! And thy Lord is Most Bountiful —

He Who taught (the use of) the Pen —

Taught man that which he knew not.

————-X—————

No Matter Which Phase Of Life are we facing, No matter How big our problem Is. The solution Is In our hands.

It is we, who search other ways to seek refuge, But At last come back to this simple solution.

The Stories Above Are all true. But the urge to Read Quran arises only when we collect Enough Love for the creator.

Whatever we do, Don’t forget Him even for a while. He never leaves us alone.

Search Allah with love in your heart , Not with Fear.

He is very close to us, closer than our breath, closer than our own souls.

He Loves each of us. His Love is more than the Love of 70 Mothers combined !! And We can’t be thankful for our One Mom’s Love even if we keep thanking, all our lives.

 

The doors of Forgiveness are Always open ! We just need to figure out ourselves. We need to recognize our inner-selves.

Happy Ramadan Mubarik To You All !!  I never got a chance to wish it Formally 🙂 May You all get all the blessings, Forgiveness and Nijaat simultaneously with all the ‘Ashraas‘. May you succeed in Getting more close to Him. May you get able to collect his countless blessings. And May This Ramadan increases your Love and faith on Him, More Than Ever.

Please Remember Me In Your Prayers !

Love xx

Halbe&Gaudin

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